[Discussion] Why is most anti-suicide rhetoric about guilt tripping rather than reasons to live for yourself?

  • Welcome to Sanctioned Suicide, a pro-choice forum for the discussion of mental illness, suicide, and the moral implications of the act itself. This is not a pro-suicide site. We do not encourage or aid suicide, and the information offered is for educational purposes only. Read our rules and FAQ for more information. We also offer a recovery subforum if you wish to get support.

    You can close this box by clicking the top right "X".

nigelhernandez

nigelhernandez

Veteran
Apr 14, 2020
172
313
Have you noticed no one ever says "Don't kill yourself cause life is enjoyable" all they say is "You'll hurt others with your death".

It makes me think that life isn't really that enjoyable. If it was, we wouldn't need to stigmatize suicide because people would see a reason to live.
 
MarsFx

MarsFx

Veteran
May 7, 2020
163
307
Because what is enjoyable for one person isn't enjoyable for everyone else. But also because they can't make promises that you'll live a happy life.
I'm in the US and the American Dream created the ideals for happiness despite it being a country that still to this day mistreats and has a barrier to keep others from reaching success. And now America doesn't have it's citizens best interests in mind at all.

At most people try to say "You have so much to live for" trying to say there are possibilities despite how difficult or far out of reach they might be for a person. Or without giving them a clear way out of the situation. Sure they'll lock you away for your safety for a few weeks here, but can't help you with the bills to come, if you're returning to have a shitty living situation, have no money, unemployed, no education, and can't even reassure that they can do much about mental illness besides maybe make you numb, but you still have to take risk of side-effects of these medications. They can't improve your looks, confidence, or guarantee you'll have the social skills to build the friend group or gf/bf that you want either.
 
SpottedPanda

SpottedPanda

I'm all about coffee and cigarettes
Jul 24, 2019
615
1,264
United Kingdom
I feel it's because nobody knows what you find pleasurable or enjoyable. They only know what they enjoy, find pleasurable. I think many people are aware of just how rampant depression is with society, and might, hearing a suicidal person's thoughts, pause for thought and contemplate that the suicidal person might be having a rough time, so they turn to attempting to make that person, through gentle coercion, consider the weight and seriousness that suicide carries, as an act.
 
cryptic__egg

cryptic__egg

Elementalist
May 9, 2020
763
3,962
Because people know full well that you may have a miserable life. They are not even going to try to say that good things will happen because they know that they might not. When unable to argue that life is good all they can say is that death is bad in some way and that life of any kind is preferable to death.
 
pentobarbitaldreams

pentobarbitaldreams

Member
Jun 11, 2020
77
217
Funny enough I see the “life is enjoyable” or “it gets better” arguments all the time.
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: casctb and Bct
thrw_a_way1221221

thrw_a_way1221221

Angel of Choice - on borrowed time.
Aug 30, 2018
4,447
14,355
The simple answer is that people are selfish, ignorant, and has hive mentality, so whenever something goes against the grain, goes against their programming or indoctrination by society, they will do what they can to maintain the status quo and even project their own values, morals, and ethics onto the dissenting person.

Because what is enjoyable for one person isn't enjoyable for everyone else. But also because they can't make promises that you'll live a happy life.
I'm in the US and the American Dream created the ideals for happiness despite it being a country that still to this day mistreats and has a barrier to keep others from reaching success. And now America doesn't have it's citizens best interests in mind at all.

At most people try to say "You have so much to live for" trying to say there are possibilities despite how difficult or far out of reach they might be for a person. Or without giving them a clear way out of the situation. Sure they'll lock you away for your safety for a few weeks here, but can't help you with the bills to come, if you're returning to have a shitty living situation, have no money, unemployed, no education, and can't even reassure that they can do much about mental illness besides maybe make you numb, but you still have to take risk of side-effects of these medications. They can't improve your looks, confidence, or guarantee you'll have the social skills to build the friend group or gf/bf that you want either.
Very well said. This is precisely why I don't ever open up about suicide, death, right-to-die* topics IRL. The risk is far, far too great to be taken and the impact is immense, especially the fallout and aftermath of being treated like an animal, or criminal despite doing nothing wrong. Hell, even having a intellectual, rational, civil discussion is out of the question with most people out there.
(*) = only in very specific contexts and only when it is a branching off of another topic. I am also really careful with how I frame it too.

I feel it's because nobody knows what you find pleasurable or enjoyable. They only know what they enjoy, find pleasurable. I think many people are aware of just how rampant depression is with society, and might, hearing a suicidal person's thoughts, pause for thought and contemplate that the suicidal person might be having a rough time, so they turn to attempting to make that person, through gentle coercion, consider the weight and seriousness that suicide carries, as an act.
Pretty much spot on. No one other the individual person knows what he/she wants or finds enjoyable. With that said, it's basically hivemind projection of their values, morals, and beliefs onto whoever doesn't align with them (or society's for the matter).

Because people know full well that you may have a miserable life. They are not even going to try to say that good things will happen because they know that they might not. When unable to argue that life is good all they can say is that death is bad in some way and that life of any kind is preferable to death.
That's an interesting point. It basically like some sort of deniability, "if we can't make an absolute promise that something good will happen, well we'll just castigate the other alternative (death), so life would seem to be a good option." It's a shitty stance for sure, but I'd guess it's due to desperation and ignorance, since people are desperate for a 'good' argument/reason for life, but ignorant enough to ignore the fact that death can be preferable to living in some circumstances.
 
lostangel

lostangel

Wizard
Mar 22, 2019
603
1,202
Ireland
It probably has to do with the fact they low key think that life is pointless but feel obligated to tell you others will be hurt in case they might get in trouble for saying otherwise.
 
Theodora

Theodora

the phantom
Jun 25, 2020
30
75
losing a family member from suicide does tear your family apart ngl
 
faust

faust

lost among the stars
Jan 26, 2020
3,128
4,996
Because "living for yourself" in society is even more stigmatized than suicide. If you attempt a suicide, you may get different reactions like pity, understanding, criticism, guilt-tripping, then if you say you live for yourself and nothing else matters, people stay away from you and simply criticize.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Pisceslilith
Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

use me
Jul 1, 2020
155
227
21
NB Canada
i find the whole thing hypocritical. my husband says its selfish but how is keeping me alive and suffering for your own pleasure not? or maybe im missing something but i dont think so.
 
A

Aap

Arcanist
Apr 26, 2020
541
692
Suicide is very hard to grasp for most people. By nature, they can’t understand a mindset that would cause them to kill themselves. Therefore, they begin thinking about what would happen if someone they knew (or themselves) ctb. The first natural thing to many is imagining the pain felt by those around.

I don’t think of it as guilt tripping in most cases. It’s just the first logical thing that comes into their mind.
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
TheEndIsNigh31 [Venting] Why is the UK so anti suicide. My life, my choice, what about my happiness Suicide Discussion 28
Querry1 [Method] SN, meto and anti regimen exp date Suicide Discussion 7
Illias Plastic bag and gas suicide Suicide Discussion 2
TimeToBiteTheDust Coming back from suicide (Near Death Experience) Suicide Discussion 4
suffering My imagination at work - the perfect suicide device Suicide Discussion 7
B Why does suicide have to be such a big deal? Suicide Discussion 14
SummerDreamer Anyone else only feel 'normal' when they're planning/thinking about their suicide, then when everyday life happens feel majorly depressed? Suicide Discussion 9
Walilamdzi Suicide partners, one survived? Suicide Discussion 8
M Is suicide the only way to escape a climate collapse? Suicide Discussion 30
E Discovered suicide attempts are going to be registered in Poland. Establishment will have access to this non-anonymous(onymous?) database. Suicide Discussion 2
T Elvis's grandson dead at 27 of gunshot suicide. Suicide Discussion 29
B Suicide disguised as a covid death? Suicide Discussion 9
EmbraceOfTheVoid [Method] Suicide by hand sanitizer Suicide Discussion 8
JoeeWasHere Rational Suicide Suicide Discussion 17
MewtwoIsAlive [NSFW] What was the gorriest and scariest suicide here on SS? Suicide Discussion 8
Azzy69 [Discussion] What would be your dream suicide? Suicide Discussion 46
L I somehow can't stop pretending I'm fine, even when I think about suicide several times a day Suicide Discussion 1
whisper_willow Suicide note. Suicide Discussion 13
ManWithNoName [Discussion] in lieu of suicide note Suicide Discussion 7
I [Venting] Suicide as a form of Protest Suicide Discussion 4
DeathIsTheWayOut99 Are there any suicide locations near the NY state area Suicide Discussion 9
N Suicide by Tylenol Suicide Discussion 10
virginiawoolf86 Generator CO suicide: successful? Suicide Discussion 4
W [Discussion] In your opinion, what's the easiest and most effective method for suicide? Suicide Discussion 33
wonderworld [Help] "Evil’ suicide forum encouraged woman to kill herself" Suicide Discussion 62
YourWayOrMine Feeling guilty while writing suicide note Suicide Discussion 1
P Healthy suicide forum. Suicide Discussion 4
BitterlyAlive Apparently my suicide attempt doesn't matter. Suicide Discussion 10
eiyuu [Discussion] Ghosting vs. Suicide? Suicide Discussion 2
YourWayOrMine Ordered SN and planning suicide Suicide Discussion 5
DeathIsTheWayOut99 Is suicide the only way out of the hell hole? Suicide Discussion 4
E Most successful form of suicide? Suicide Discussion 17
H Porn use & Suicide Suicide Discussion 36
I Anybody write a suicide note? Suicide Discussion 9
J How to ensure medics won’t “save” you after a suicide attempt Suicide Discussion 23
rhiino Who lost a loved one to suicide / how has it affected you? Suicide Discussion 14
E Suicide in hospital? Suicide Discussion 21
F Forced into suicide Suicide Discussion 6
Susannah From recovery to suicide Suicide Discussion 8
C Suicide videos/live streams Suicide Discussion 16
O Suicide by sodium nitrate Suicide Discussion 4
anorexic-pigeon Suicide by table salt? Suicide Discussion 53
DeathIsTheWayOut99 At the end of the day, my reasoning for suicide will always be misunderstood Suicide Discussion 11
Close_to_freedom Anyone else feel like they have to justify or make a case for their suicide? Suicide Discussion 3
J Why haven’t you committed suicide yet? Suicide Discussion 77
Close_to_freedom Anyone else feel that their suicide should be done in part because it would wake up the people in your life? Suicide Discussion 8
s3gfault Last decision to make before I CTB... suicide note Suicide Discussion 9
MarsFx Leaving a gift for a child because they probably won't be told it was suicide Suicide Discussion 2
TimeToBiteTheDust Male Suicide (Tedx video) Suicide Discussion 10
Theodora Someone close committed suicide ?¿ Suicide Discussion 12
Similar threads