[Venting] Why is it so fucking hard??

  • Welcome to Sanctioned Suicide, a pro-choice forum for the discussion of mental illness, suicide, and the moral implications of the act itself. We do not encourage or aid suicide, the information offered is for educational purposes only. For more information read our FAQ.
    For immediate help, consider calling the Samaritan's hotline: (877) 870-4673. Be aware they may call emergency services if they believe you are at imminent risk of death. We also have a recovery subforum if you wish to get support.
    You can close this box by clicking the top right "X".
J

JWL

Specialist
Jan 15, 2019
389
623
I've spent best part of a year planning my ctb (hats off to those of you who do it on a spare afternoon).

I'm not arrogant enough to suppose my plan was perfect, and I've had glitches along the way. Part of my plan was to ctb in the most remote spot of the UK I could find (and this will happen), leave my body to medical science in my Will and bye bye. All quietly done. No funeral nonsense, which I don't believe in, plus the minimum of distress (via the funeral nonsense) for those left behind.

But the best laid plans...I've just found out, with barely 4 weeks left on my clock, that you can't just 'leave your body to med science'. You have to choose a suitable hospital, fill in form this and form that, and maybe they want you or maybe they don't, not on a weekend, and worst of all NOT if autopsy is a factor! Call me naive if ya like, but I though med science would be fighting for this magnificent specimen of a body. Fussy bastards!

So, at this almost last minute point, I have to factor in a ridiculous funeral/cremation scenario which I do not believe in at all. Can't I just be put out with the 'burnable'?

I've seen a few comments on SS in recent months along the lines of 'it's not hard if you follow the guidelines'. The problem is that there are so many variables that the 'guidelines' can never cover so many various possibilities.

I add mine to the list...
 
N

No_more

Member
May 5, 2019
50
160
I hate funerals too. It's bad enough going through someone's death and then on top of that having to go through a morbid funeral as well.

I hate the way people are made to feel guilty for not going. I don't want a funeral. I just want my ashes to be sprinkled somewhere nice in the countryside.
 
SinisterKid

SinisterKid

Illuminated
Jun 1, 2019
1,185
2,460
Depending on method, your body might not be of any use to anyone after the event. And unless you plan on leaving directions so you can be found [more variables if you do that] your body might not be in any condition to be of use, so problem solved. If you are going to find somewhere remote, then why concern yourself with what happens beyond that?
 
Lookingforabus

Lookingforabus

Wise
Aug 6, 2019
267
358
A pauper's funeral is an option in the UK if your loved ones don't claim your body - you'll be buried at the expense of your local council (or maybe the one where you're found, not sure about UK law). I've personally suggested that option to my family in my note, but ultimately don't care. If they'd rather save the money by letting the government deal with my corpse, that's fine, if they want to spent money with some ritualistic nonsense to grieve and remember me, that's fine too. Figure it may as well be up to them, since it won't effect me in any way.

And if the government is hell-bent on preventing my body from actually being useful after I die, that's on them, not on me. Yet another validation of my political beliefs - even death doesn't stop government tyranny.
 
D

Dead beat dad

Arcanist
Mar 5, 2019
562
1,805
I'm sorry you're in pain brother and that this spanner in the works has messed up your plans.
Is it critical that your body is left to science?
I have a view that they may as well toss my corpse out with garbage, is yours similar or is there something specific?

I hope you can find what you're looking for brother, and even though you may not have that final piece of the puzzle in place it sounds like you've meticulously planned other things which hopefully can alleviate some of the feeling you have.

DBD
 
  • Like
Reactions: JWL
J

JWL

Specialist
Jan 15, 2019
389
623
I hate funerals too. It's bad enough going through someone's death and then on top of that having to go through a morbid funeral as well.

I hate the way people are made to feel guilty for not going. I don't want a funeral. I just want my ashes to be sprinkled somewhere nice in the countryside.

I think that's far more dignified than the nonsense of a funeral, conducted by a priest who doesn't know you from Adam and a funeral company milking the deceased like a parasite.
Is it critical that your body is left to science?
No. I just thought that would be the best way to make it disappear with the least fuss.
 
laila888

laila888

Member
Jun 15, 2019
28
67
But if you ctb at the most remote spot in the UK, you might never be found.
 
B

Baskol1

No life, no problems
Aug 11, 2019
730
799
20
But if you ctb at the most remote spot in the UK, you might never be found.
I too plan kill myself as remote as possible. I just dont want to be found.
 
kappa

kappa

Member
Apr 2, 2019
30
33
You could leave a note to request that, but dead or alive you can’t control people. You will be dead so why worry about it.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Lookingforabus
J

JWL

Specialist
Jan 15, 2019
389
623
Depending on method, your body might not be of any use to anyone after the event. And unless you plan on leaving directions so you can be found [more variables if you do that] your body might not be in any condition to be of use, so problem solved. If you are going to find somewhere remote, then why concern yourself with what happens beyond that?

It's not so remote I'll never be found (although that would be a bonus). Just remote enough to get the job done without hopefully intervention.
You could leave a note to request that, but dead or alive you can’t control people. You will be dead so why worry about it.

I have a Will drawn up. I may be 'dead', but I still want to make sure I don't leave total chaos behind and want to impact others as little as possible.

And I might be dead to this life, but I don't expect to be dead after ctb. So I want to do the right things as much as I can so I can live with myself after my death (quite poetic, eh?).
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: Baskol1
F

Final_frontier

Member
Feb 23, 2019
75
195
I am a med student, i might not finish my degree but in our anatomy classes during dissection, as the cadaver would lie naked ripped apart in various places, students would surround them casually discussing topics ranging from sex, campus gossip, movies, etc. and I'd feel so sorry for the cadaver. It was not treated in the most humane manner, especially when we were studying parts like the upper limb in a tray, the lower limb in a tray. I definitely wouldnt want to become a cadaver.
 
J

JWL

Specialist
Jan 15, 2019
389
623
I am a med student, i might not finish my degree but in our anatomy classes during dissection, as the cadaver would lie naked ripped apart in various places, students would surround them casually discussing topics ranging from sex, campus gossip, movies, etc. and I'd feel so sorry for the cadaver. It was not treated in the most humane manner, especially when we were studying parts like the upper limb in a tray, the lower limb in a tray. I definitely wouldnt want to become a cadaver.

But that wouldn't bother me at all.

I don't particularly esteem dead bodies just because they're dead. I don't follow a religious belief in that way. My body will have served its purpose (well, sometimes...rarely...), so I would love the thought of a few med students playing free with their humour. I'll be laughing along. I love a good joke, even when I'm dead.

Hey, by the way, did you hear the one about a man who bought a 20L cylinder of nitrogen...?
 
  • Like
Reactions: Lookingforabus
F

Final_frontier

Member
Feb 23, 2019
75
195
That would be like trying to hold back diarrhea.
What i meant is a cadaver in an anatomy lab.
But that wouldn't bother me at all.

I don't particularly esteem dead bodies just because they're dead. I don't follow a religious belief in that way. My body will have served its purpose (well, sometimes...rarely...), so I would love the thought of a few med students playing free with their humour. I'll be laughing along. I love a good joke, even when I'm dead.

Hey, by the way, did you hear the one about a man who bought a 20L cylinder of nitrogen...?
You havent witnessed the roughness with which "professionals" handle cadavers and parts. Thats one reason i dont want an autopsy either.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: Baskol1
J

JWL

Specialist
Jan 15, 2019
389
623
What i meant is a cadaver in an anatomy lab.

You havent witnessed the roughness with which "professionals" handle cadavers and parts. Thats one reason i dont want an autopsy either.

But I'm dead. My spirit is on a long vacation in the sun. So, in the words of Catherine Tate (UK comedienne) "Ahm I bovvered!?"
 
  • Like
Reactions: Baskol1
DreamCatcher

DreamCatcher

Still searching
Jun 18, 2019
221
519
Michigan
It's nice that you want to help medicine or science, but if that's keeping you in a tortured life then maybe just go anyway.

It's not your fault the process is dumb, and that people will likely second guess your choice after you're gone. Just go and let the living figure it out, life will go on without you needing to have input. I'm planning on just wherever and whatever with no will or paperwork. Let the family vultures scrounge over my corpse looting the remains, and let them forget and remember who I really am, it won't matter to me one bit once I'm gone.

Life is enough worry, death should be freedom from that.

I hope you find peace regardless.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Baskol1

Users Who Are Viewing This Thread (Users: 0, Guests: 1)

Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
C Suicide Discussion 14
k3v3r Suicide Discussion 6
E Offtopic 0