Why does my dad hate me

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Pallf

I'm tired
May 27, 2018
151
443
I'm the older sibling. I have depression. If I sleep in the middle of the day I get screamed at. Gotta get a job but only me, my brother gets to stay home, he's only a year younger than me.

High school. Got sick with something, can't remember what. I get dressed to go to school in the afternoon because I was at the doctor's during the morning. Dad doesn't like the outfit, calls me a lesbian with no friends. I cry, he screams about me crying. I go to school.

A year ago. I'm losing it and trying to cut myself, my brother finds me and tells my parents, they all laugh.

Mom should've aborted me when she had the chance.
 
ceasetobreathe03

ceasetobreathe03

Illuminated
Dec 20, 2019
1,105
1,134
When someone chooses to self-harm, there's nothing funny about it at all. It sounds to me like your family is ignorant -- but especially your father. I'm an outsider, and I'm not gonna say anything negative about them. They just sound really ignorant and it might be that they don't understand how heavily things are and have been weighing on you. Even when your father treats you like this, just remind yourself that it's NOT you. It's their ignorance. Maybe they're taking everything lightly and not seriously?

Again, I'm an outsider and I don't fully know your situation. Do you really believe it comes from a place of hate? Does your father really know about how you feel?

One of the biggest issues with society is that people tend to forget that others are too going through things. Even when we acknowledge what another person is going through, it can be really hard to grasp how they're truely feeling. I'm not sure why your father is the way he is towards you. I hope things do change because this sounds way too stressful. There's nothing wrong with finding the right time to sit down and talk to him about how he's been towards you and how it's affecting you ❤
 
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_Minsk

_Minsk

Waifu is my Laifu
Dec 9, 2019
274
984
I'm the older sibling. I have depression. If I sleep in the middle of the day I get screamed at. Gotta get a job but only me, my brother gets to stay home, he's only a year younger than me.

High school. Got sick with something, can't remember what. I get dressed to go to school in the afternoon because I was at the doctor's during the morning. Dad doesn't like the outfit, calls me a lesbian with no friends. I cry, he screams about me crying. I go to school.

A year ago. I'm losing it and trying to cut myself, my brother finds me and tells my parents, they all laugh.

Mom should've aborted me when she had the chance.
sorry to hear that,

you probably wont be able to change them, accept them the way they are.. if they were in your situation, they would treat themselves the way they treat you, its nothing personal..
even if this sucks, it might be the only way to move on.. accepting them and their attitude toward certain things will only bring you further in this situation..
 
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Pallf

I'm tired
May 27, 2018
151
443
Thank you for your response. You won't believe how good it feels that at least one person reached out.

I love my dad as I appreciate that you did not speak badly about him. Some days I want to say I hate him, but I don't want others to hate him if that makes sense.

He's not good with feelings or emotions so unfortunately talking to him is out of the question.
 
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_Minsk

_Minsk

Waifu is my Laifu
Dec 9, 2019
274
984
Thank you for your response. You won't believe how good it feels that at least one person reached out.

I love my dad as I appreciate that you did not speak badly about him. Some days I want to say I hate him, but I don't want others to hate him if that makes sense.

He's not good with feelings or emotions so unfortunately talking to him is out of the question.
you seem very loving and mature, you got this! maybe he just acts out of fear.. who knows! maybe when you both are in a good mood you can ask him nicely to resolve it, im pretty sure you can do this!:heart:
He's not good with feelings or emotions so unfortunately talking to him is out of the question.
maybe he is just stressed out, i know this myself when im busy, i find it hard to find the best solution in those situations
 
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T

timf

Member
Mar 26, 2020
25
30
It is usually the sign of a healthy perspective that you can view someone who is hurtful to you from an understanding of their limitations. Unfortunately the effects of being hurt can still linger. Healing can be difficult enough, but when under continuing injury it can be very difficult. If you can reach the point where when things are said intending to be hurtful you can recognize them for what they are (lacking truth and perhaps reflective of the hurt of the person saying those things), you may begin to restrict the damage they cause you.

This still leaves dealing with what has happened in the past. If you carry with you distortions resulting from how you were raised, you may need to reflect on those to see yourself in a less negative way. You may even need to deal with physical issues. For example, some types of hepatitis can be so debilitating as to seem like depression. It might not be a bad idea to get a physical examination to see if there are any complicating conditions.
 
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Pallf

I'm tired
May 27, 2018
151
443
I think in the future I'd like to go no contact. I love my family but I might need to be away from them for awhile.
 
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Sad_Autistic_boy_101

Sad_Autistic_boy_101

When I die, you'll love me.
Nov 19, 2019
240
606
I can really understand this. My sister has a really good relationship with D. I call him D as I don't want to call him Dad. She can get away with anything and never shouts at her but for me we have always had a shit relationship and he gets real mad at me. I don't understand the difference.
 
P

Pallf

I'm tired
May 27, 2018
151
443
I can really understand this. My sister has a really good relationship with D. I call him D as I don't want to call him Dad. She can get away with anything and never shouts at her but for me we have always had a shit relationship and he gets real mad at me. I don't understand the difference.
Same. Don't know why he picks with me so much. It's exhausting.
 
funeraleveryday

funeraleveryday

Member
May 16, 2020
7
10
bad parenting really is the reason for all of this, huh? why can’t people just love their children?
 
TacoBell

TacoBell

Member
May 18, 2020
20
33
Dude, first of all, I wish you the best
Secondly: your family seems f*cked, especially your dad

It couldn't possibly be you, if someone laughs at SH then clearly they're f*cked
I'd put my money on you being the golden one out of the bunch of them, don't let them weigh you down.
If I were you I'd start mimicing their behavior, but that's probably not the best advice. Good luck man.
 
Good4Nothing

Good4Nothing

Unlovable
May 8, 2020
87
216
My dad hates me, too. I guess because I'm just so different from him. He doesn't understand me, so he hates me.
He's never tried to understand me, though. It's his way or the highway. I should be like him, period.
I'm as fucked up as I am today because he made me this way. I never got positive reinforcement or encouragement.
I just got emotionally and psychologically abused for being different.
I've had to live my entire life - childhood to adulthood - with no self esteem or self confidence or self worth, because he conditioned me from day one that I was a useless piece of shit that couldn't do anything right.
I've often wondered if my life would have turned out differently if I'd been raised by a sensitive man instead of a bully.
I really hate him for destroying my soul and ruining any shot I may have had at life.
 
R

rebelsue

Hope Addict
Dec 12, 2019
167
570
I can validate because my dad hates me too. But I was able to kick him out of my life when I grew up. Now he's sad and confused why his daughter won't talk to him. Revenge is mine. It can be yours, too, if you live to spite them all. They deserve to hate themselves and be depressed, not you. You are better than them.
My dad hates me, too. I guess because I'm just so different from him. He doesn't understand me, so he hates me.
He's never tried to understand me, though. It's his way or the highway. I should be like him, period.
I'm as fucked up as I am today because he made me this way. I never got positive reinforcement or encouragement.
I just got emotionally and psychologically abused for being different.
I've had to live my entire life - childhood to adulthood - with no self esteem or self confidence or self worth, because he conditioned me from day one that I was a useless piece of shit that couldn't do anything right.
I've often wondered if my life would have turned out differently if I'd been raised by a sensitive man instead of a bully.
I really hate him for destroying my soul and ruining any shot I may have had at life.
Same here word for word. I've chosen to stay alive to get revenge on him.
 
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