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Why a forum like this is needed

BipolarGuy

BipolarGuy

Illuminated
Joined
Aug 7, 2020
Messages
1,493
Having already voiced concerns regarding some of the undercurrents I've detected on this site from a minority of members, I feel that it is only fair for me to spell out for anyone reading why a forum such as this is required.

This forum is fundamentally a peer-to-peer support forum.
Members support each other to proceed down an avenue of recovery, sometimes advising on what does or does not work based on their experience, and sometimes warning in advance of possible stumbling blocks along the way.
This is helpful because depression and long-term stress can give rise to 'blind spots' in your perception and while some options may be obvious to others, they may not have been considered by the person asking.
Members also support each other if a decision is made to end life. It is against the law/rules of the website/morality to encourage someone to end their lives.
This is not easy emotionally, but the reality is that people do end their lives every day. People who have made the decision to end life usually do not want intervention, and so in most cases they will not talk to family/friends/doctors openly when the time comes. So they speak with people on this forum. The alternative is being completely alone when going through such a terrible ordeal.

It is important to have a place where one is able to speak openly and uninhibited about how you're feeling.

- Many people experiencing suicidal thoughts are scared to talk to their doctor or therapist through fear of being locked up.
You may think it would be a good thing for them to be sectioned, but having been sectioned myself after years of being offered no help from the same service that had me locked up...I was left wandering the ward aimlessly. I was not started on a therapy programme. I was not even started on medication.
- Other depression forums are so heavily moderated that you cannot actually speak about depression due to rules about 'triggering' others. So they say they are a depression forum, but really people just go on there if they've had a bad day. You can't talk openly without risking being kicked off or possibly permanently banned.
- Sometimes talking to family or friends isn't useful: you might be labelled 'negative' or 'toxic', or a comment might be made that is ignorant or simply negates how you feel.

So a place to be able to talk openly and honestly, while remaining anonymous, is very important.

When criticising this website, I think some people make the mistake of thinking that the site is used by people to encourage each other to end their lives. They assume that absolutely everybody that uses the site is a bad apple.
This is not the case.
While I have expressed concerns regarding a handful of members, I believe that most members stumbled across this site in the same way I did; because we're extremely depressed, vulnerable, and wanting to express ourselves for whatever reason.
 
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DeathIsTheWayOut99

DeathIsTheWayOut99

Elementalist
Joined
Jun 7, 2020
Messages
702
Yes, 100%. I do agree. My hope is that we cn create a safe space to talk about suicide that can hopefully become more open. It'll take a long time and there will be a lot of push back, but there needs to be more places like this one
 
BipolarGuy

BipolarGuy

Illuminated
Joined
Aug 7, 2020
Messages
1,493
Yes, 100%. I do agree. My hope is that we cn create a safe space to talk about suicide that can hopefully become more open. It'll take a long time and there will be a lot of push back, but there needs to be more places like this one
I think it needs to be done is a very controlled way. Maybe controlled isn't the right word, but I know what I'm trying to say.
This is because there ARE predators, trolls and horrible people out there.

But yes, a resource where people feel they can be open is important.
 
H

Harleyyy

Veteran
Joined
May 15, 2020
Messages
117
I totally agree.
it is a very bitter but very true thing: people take their own lives. It’s only valid for them to atleast have a place to express themselves openly without being labelled as an “attention seeker” or “crazy”. Each of us has so much pain in our heart. I wish I didn’t have to be on this site but here i am and i am grateful to the staff behind this website. Thank you so much for creating this space for us.
i should also mention that NO ONE here has ever encouraged me to end my life. They have only helped me to look for better options or supported me with love. Special thanks to my very dear friend @RealHumanBean. This is a precious website and it is very much needed in this blind pro lifer society. I have the right to end my pain and i shall not be dictated by some optimistic pro lifer who doesn’t know shit. I stand by sanctioned suicide.
 
peacefullpainless

peacefullpainless

need a reliable method
Joined
Aug 12, 2019
Messages
363
Having already voiced concerns regarding some of the undercurrents I've detected on this site from a minority of members, I feel that it is only fair for me to spell out for anyone reading why a forum such as this is required.

This forum is fundamentally a peer-to-peer support forum.
Members support each other to proceed down an avenue of recovery, sometimes advising on what does or does not work based on their experience, and sometimes warning in advance of possible stumbling blocks along the way.
This is helpful because depression and long-term stress can give rise to 'blind spots' in your perception, and while some options may be obvious to others they may not have been considered by the person asking.
Members also support each other if a decision is made to end life. It is against the law/rules of the website/morality to encourage someone to end their lives.
This is not easy emotionally, but the reality is that people do end their lives every day. People who have made the decision to end life usually do not want intervention, and so in most cases they will not talk to family/friends/doctors openly when the time comes. So they speak with people on this forum. The alternative is being completely alone when going through such a terrible ordeal.

It is important to have a place where one is able to speak openly and uninhibited about how you're feeling.

- Many people experiencing suicidal thoughts are scared to talk to their doctor or therapist through fear of being locked up.
- Other depression forums are so heavily moderated that you cannot actually speak about depression due to rules about 'triggering' others. So they say they are a depression forum, but really people just go on there if they've had a bad day. You can't talk openly without risking being kicked off or possibly permanently banned.
- Sometimes talking to family or friends isn't useful: you might be labelled 'negative' or 'toxic', or a comment might be made that is ignorant or simply negates how you feel.

So a place to be able to talk openly and honestly, while remaining anonymous, is very important.

When criticising this website, I think some people make the mistake of thinking that the site is used by people to encourage each other to end their lives. They assume that absolutely everybody that uses the site is a bad apple.
This is not the case.
While I have expressed concerns regarding a handful of members, I believe that most members stumbled across this site in the same way I did; because we're extremely depressed, vulnerable, and wanting to express ourselves for whatever reason.
Yes this website is needed. it's invaluable to me . Here on this ss website i found invaluable information on painless ctb methods, support from other members, validation of my thoughts and philosophy i had not heard anywhere else (i thought i was the only one thinking these things ).

In addition to all the reasons you mentioned also here i found invaluable information i couldn't find anywhere after years years of searching on ctb methods. So now i actually have hope that i will be able to have a painless exit . before stumbling upon SS , i only had found out how to do painful methods such as drowning. i need to exit so it's not option for me. but i don't want to suffer pain.

This is only place i found truth. i've never had the opportunity to discuss any of these topics like suicide, to be or not to be, life , death. people are so superficial and boring in other places on the internet, irl, anywhere. Also i've actually found/validated several philosophies that i hadn't even heard of before for example that of Schopenhaur which i agree with.

 
Chupacabra 44

Chupacabra 44

If boredom were a CTB method, I would be long gone
Joined
Sep 13, 2020
Messages
565
Having already voiced concerns regarding some of the undercurrents I've detected on this site from a minority of members, I feel that it is only fair for me to spell out for anyone reading why a forum such as this is required.

This forum is fundamentally a peer-to-peer support forum.
Members support each other to proceed down an avenue of recovery, sometimes advising on what does or does not work based on their experience, and sometimes warning in advance of possible stumbling blocks along the way.
This is helpful because depression and long-term stress can give rise to 'blind spots' in your perception and while some options may be obvious to others, they may not have been considered by the person asking.
Members also support each other if a decision is made to end life. It is against the law/rules of the website/morality to encourage someone to end their lives.
This is not easy emotionally, but the reality is that people do end their lives every day. People who have made the decision to end life usually do not want intervention, and so in most cases they will not talk to family/friends/doctors openly when the time comes. So they speak with people on this forum. The alternative is being completely alone when going through such a terrible ordeal.

It is important to have a place where one is able to speak openly and uninhibited about how you're feeling.

- Many people experiencing suicidal thoughts are scared to talk to their doctor or therapist through fear of being locked up.
You may think it would be a good thing for them to be sectioned, but having been sectioned myself after years of being offered no help from the same service that had me locked up...I was left wandering the ward aimlessly. I was not started on a therapy programme. I was not even started on medication.
- Other depression forums are so heavily moderated that you cannot actually speak about depression due to rules about 'triggering' others. So they say they are a depression forum, but really people just go on there if they've had a bad day. You can't talk openly without risking being kicked off or possibly permanently banned.
- Sometimes talking to family or friends isn't useful: you might be labelled 'negative' or 'toxic', or a comment might be made that is ignorant or simply negates how you feel.

So a place to be able to talk openly and honestly, while remaining anonymous, is very important.

When criticising this website, I think some people make the mistake of thinking that the site is used by people to encourage each other to end their lives. They assume that absolutely everybody that uses the site is a bad apple.
This is not the case.
While I have expressed concerns regarding a handful of members, I believe that most members stumbled across this site in the same way I did; because we're extremely depressed, vulnerable, and wanting to express ourselves for whatever reason.

Fantastic post!
 
D

depression999

Member
Joined
Aug 18, 2020
Messages
35
I agree, however there is more encouraging of suicide on this forum than anyone would like to admit. It doesn’t surprise me that many on here have never tried to get help as the way medication, therapy and any other help is spoken about on here from what I have personally read is negative, I don’t believe suicide should even be considered without first trying to get help, what may not of worked on here for someone may be the perfect solution for someone else. I also think some people on here view suicide as being cool. I am not pro life by any means and agree everyone has a right to what they want to do but I can guarantee that the majority on here have people that truly love and care for them they would be devastated should the worst happen especially when help hadn’t even been considered.
 
nitroautnz

nitroautnz

Specialist
Joined
Sep 11, 2020
Messages
363
I agree, however there is more encouraging of suicide on this forum than anyone would like to admit. It doesn’t surprise me that many on here have never tried to get help as the way medication, therapy and any other help is spoken about on here from what I have personally read is negative, I don’t believe suicide should even be considered without first trying to get help, what may not of worked on here for someone may be the perfect solution for someone else. I also think some people on here view suicide as being cool. I am not pro life by any means and agree everyone has a right to what they want to do but I can guarantee that the majority on here have people that truly love and care for them they would be devastated should the worst happen especially when help hadn’t even been considered.
Depend on you country and the risk of being hospitalized that you want it or no. The risk are serious when you openly talk about suicide. And it is easier to talk to the persons here that understand your issues and don't judge you. Most of the time psychologist has never been depressed even if you study it living it is not the same., same for taking an antidepressant.
I understand your point about the people that love you, because i struggle with that. But you cant live for other people sake either, it is not healthy.
I don't try to contradict you on purpose either, I share that if you can get help or find a way to live its great, but it's not always the best solution, and can prolong suffer and distress.
 
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D

depression999

Member
Joined
Aug 18, 2020
Messages
35
Depend on you country and the risk of being hospitalized that you want it or no. The risk are serious when you openly talk about suicide. And it is easier to talk to the persons here that understand your issues and don't judge you. Most of the time psychologist has never been depressed even if you study it living it is not the same., same for taking an antidepressant.
I understand your point about the people that love you, because i struggle with that. But you cant live for other people sake either, it is not healthy.
I don't try to contradict you on purpose either, I share that if you cant get help or find a way to live its great, but it's not always the best solution, and can prolong suffer and distress.
But people that truly love & care for you would never judge you they would want to help you & to try and understand, I understand about psychologists and anyone else that helps in these circumstances but I don’t just mean asking them for help I mean being open & honest with your loved ones about how you’re really feeling, whether it hurts them or not they would much rather hear you & help you to the best of there ability than lose you and be devastated that they didn’t even have the opportunity to help. I don’t know about other countries, I am from the UK and know you won’t be sectioned for just feeling suicidal. I agree you can’t live for other people but to even contemplate killing yourself and not even asking for help is what I struggle to understand, there’s help out there why not try that first before making a decisions to end your life. It of course can prolong your suffering but it could also make you better, it could give you life you dreamed of. This site has many pro’s but it’s also like putting a group of alcoholics in a bar. I dread to think how many devastated families have been left after people have found this site and been encouraged to end there lives.
 
grungeCat

grungeCat

Awkward, afraid of ctb
Joined
Jul 5, 2020
Messages
398
Thank you for this post, entirely agree with you. It was really nice to find out that such a lovely place exists on the web.I would also like to add that you're a very intelligent and valuable person :heart: I was once registered on pro-life depression forum and believe me or not but every reply was almost the same - 'go to psychiatrist'. Every thread the majority of the replies were deleted by the mods except these platitudes. If you type something suicidal or try to vent there then others, especially mods, becomes actually aggressive towards you. I didn't like that depressive people are treated there like a bad batch. So I moved out to an incel forum. It was actually quite similar - suicidal people were wished to have a painless and quick death. The problem were these misogynistic incels who tried to glorify murderers... I observed as more and more users becomes like that. I didn't want that either. But I'm happy I finally encountered this forum. I love you all!
 
nitroautnz

nitroautnz

Specialist
Joined
Sep 11, 2020
Messages
363
But people that truly love & care for you would never judge you they would want to help you & to try and understand, I understand about psychologists and anyone else that helps in these circumstances but I don’t just mean asking them for help I mean being open & honest with your loved ones about how you’re really feeling, whether it hurts them or not they would much rather hear you & help you to the best of there ability than lose you and be devastated that they didn’t even have the opportunity to help. I don’t know about other countries, I am from the UK and know you won’t be sectioned for just feeling suicidal. I agree you can’t live for other people but to even contemplate killing yourself and not even asking for help is what I struggle to understand, there’s help out there why not try that first before making a decisions to end your life. It of course can prolong your suffering but it could also make you better, it could give you life you dreamed of. This site has many pro’s but it’s also like putting a group of alcoholics in a bar. I dread to think how many devastated families have been left after people have found this site and been encouraged to end there lives.
i have to disagree with you, its not because they love you that they will never judge you or want to support you toward your choice, they will try to make you accept their choice and point of view. Will live in a society that condemn suicide, and see it as selfish and coward act.

Most people would never understand how it feels to be depressed and even less to have an extreme mental health issue. You don't need to understand it, like i can't understand how it is to be bipolar for example, i cant say to this person ''no don't ctb'' because i will never be in his shoes, therefor who I am to try to influence him by seeking help and living with it, if for him the suffering is too great. You have to accept the choice of those people, you can ask questions of course, but ultimately its the other person choices. Its not like you have to understand. I don't understand everything but that not preventing me to accept it.

That's why at the moment i am writing a daily journal, i just write whats comes in my mind, like that i hope they will understand how chaotic my brain is, and how difficult it is to continue to live in those conditions.

And i don't talk about feeling suicidal, i talk about being proactive toward the suicide act, like buying everything you need, you dont need to use it, but having it will dramatically increase the chance to have problems, you can't be honest with anyone without having the risk to be denounced, like it happens to someone on this forum(i wasn't here so i can't tell if it was true or not).

This place is maybe not the perfect place, but it is the best for people in our condition, society forces us to come here, because the majority dont listen us. We are mocked, or hospitalized without our consent. They think we not thinking properly or crazy, because for them suicide is a sin or some other bullshit.

And i dread to think to even more people that suffer for years because their family can't accepts that their loved one prefer to be dead than to live. Maybe those loving person should think if they ever really try to help or understand those people that ended up taking their life.

Im not pro-suicide, i find it heartbreaking when i think that a lot of people here are just 18 or less and will ultimately kill themself. But we accept that they can drive, vote and drink. Why can't we accept they want to take their own life?

Thinking of suicide and doing it is a different story, you don't take your life so easily unless you are desperate.

Im getting carried away I think, and I need to go to bed anyway, we can carry on tomorrow if you wish:hihi:
 
D

depression999

Member
Joined
Aug 18, 2020
Messages
35
i have to disagree with you, its not because they love you that they will never judge you or want to support you toward your choice, they will try to make you accept their choice and point of view. Will live in a society that condemn suicide, and see it as selfish and coward act.

Most people would never understand how it feels to be depressed and even less to have an extreme mental health issue. You don't need to understand it, like i can't understand how it is to be bipolar for example, i cant say to this person ''no don't ctb'' because i will never be in his shoes, therefor who I am to try to influence him by seeking help and living with it, if for him the suffering is too great. You have to accept the choice of those people, you can ask questions of course, but ultimately its the other person choices. Its not like you have to understand. I don't understand everything but that not preventing me to accept it.

That's why at the moment i am writing a daily journal, i just write whats comes in my mind, like that i hope they will understand how chaotic my brain is, and how difficult it is to continue to live in those conditions.

And i don't talk about feeling suicidal, i talk about being proactive toward the suicide act, like buying everything you need, you dont need to use it, but having it will dramatically increase the chance to have problems, you can't be honest with anyone without having the risk to be denounced, like it happens to someone on this forum(i wasn't here so i can't tell if it was true or not).

This place is maybe not the perfect place, but it is the best for people in our condition, society forces us to come here, because the majority dont listen us. We are mocked, or hospitalized without our consent. They think we not thinking properly or crazy, because for them suicide is a sin or some other bullshit.

And i dread to think to even more people that suffer for years because their family can't accepts that their loved one prefer to be dead than to live. Maybe those loving person should think if they ever really try to help or understand those people that ended up taking their life.

Im not pro-suicide, i find it heartbreaking when i think that a lot of people here are just 18 or less and will ultimately kill themself. But we accept that they can drive, vote and drink. Why can't we accept they want to take their own life?

Thinking of suicide and doing it is a different story, you don't take your life so easily unless you are desperate.

Im getting carried away I think, and I need to go to bed anyway, we can carry on tomorrow if you wish:hihi:
IT is because they love you you see it as selfish they see it as petrified to lose you. Both sides are selfish ultimately you’re putting your pain on to your loved ones and by staying alive you keep your pain, either way is selfish, there is no winners when it comes to suicide. & I think you’re misunderstanding what I am saying, ‘maybe those living person should think whether they tried to help them’ that is my point how can they help if they don’t know! And how would you feel if the person you loved most in this world died. There was someone on here the other day talking about crashing into an oncoming vehicle, but that is not selfish? Oh poor man he just wants to
Die, what about the person in the other vehicle? What if they have they want to be alive. There was someone on here the other day saying they told there mum & dad that they were going to kill themselves and the dad said some things and then said goodbye and the person felt like there dad didn’t care but yet the argument here is that pro lifers should let you kill your self well his dad said goodbye didn’t try to stop him and it wasn’t good enough? It’s very contradicting, do you understand my point, you can never please everyone. And I think people do take there lives easily when under pressure Which I feel this site does to certain people. I don’t need you to share the same opinion as me and I don’t need to share the same opinion as you but I can happily accept your opinion.
 
BipolarGuy

BipolarGuy

Illuminated
Joined
Aug 7, 2020
Messages
1,493
I agree, however there is more encouraging of suicide on this forum than anyone would like to admit. It doesn’t surprise me that many on here have never tried to get help as the way medication, therapy and any other help is spoken about on here from what I have personally read is negative, I don’t believe suicide should even be considered without first trying to get help, what may not of worked on here for someone may be the perfect solution for someone else. I also think some people on here view suicide as being cool. I am not pro life by any means and agree everyone has a right to what they want to do but I can guarantee that the majority on here have people that truly love and care for them they would be devastated should the worst happen especially when help hadn’t even been considered.
I do agree with you.

"Encouragement" is an interesting term.
The party line is that "we're not encouraging, we're just providing information".
This may be true for the vast majority of members, but I think the majority would agree that a minority of members do seem to go beyond just providing information.
It may not be as explicit as telling people to "kill themselves", but for instance I've seen new members come on here and make a post about how they intend to end their lives. Some members don't even discuss what the issues are or whether they have explored solutions, instead they go straight into the effectiveness of a method.

You've also got to consider that there is a "Recovery" section of the site.
I don't know why you think that the majority on here have never tried to access help. Perhaps you have access to data that I do not?
All I can say is that I've been trying to access help for eleven years and have been on a number of anti-depressants and mood stabilisers.

That said, I do think a balanced view of the site is needed.
On one extreme you've got a minority of members who seem to think that young children should be able to end their lives, while on the other extreme you've got people who fail to consider how useless the health service is, how judgemental people can be (even loved ones) and negate how members feel because it doesn't fit into their world view.
The availability of an open forum should not be judged on the extreme views of a minority, but as usual the majority is put in the same box.

I'm now going to be a little bit direct (unlike me, I know!)...
There is a person who tragically lost her son to suicide. Following his computer and phone being examined it was discovered that he had been on this site.
I do not know the circumstances surrounding it and I was not a member of this forum at the time, but this person has decided to rally together with a group of people and start a campaign against this website.
She seems to think that everyone on this website is a bad apple - absolutely everybody!
Yes there are a minority of bad apples, but the majority are people just like her son: depressed, vulnerable and very low.
I genuinely feel that this person's efforts would be better placed in trying to improve mental health services, for instance.

I'm not going to get into this whole debate again because I've already had it, see the link to my thread below:


 
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D

depression999

Member
Joined
Aug 18, 2020
Messages
35
I do agree with you.

"Encouragement" is an interesting term.
The party line is that "we're not encouraging, we're just providing information".
This may be true for the vast majority of members, but I think the majority would agree that a minority of members do seem to go beyond just providing information.
It may not be as explicit as telling people to "kill themselves", but for instance I've seen new members come on here and make a post about how they intend to end their lives. Some members don't even discuss what the issues are or whether they have explored solutions, instead they go straight into the effectiveness of a method.

You've also got to consider that there is a "Recovery" section of the site.
I don't know why you think that the majority on here have never tried to access help. Perhaps you have access to data that I do not?
All I can say is that I've been trying to access help for eleven years and have been on a number of anti-depressants and mood stabilisers.

That said, I do think a balanced view of the site is needed.
On one extreme you've got a minority of members who seem to think that young children should be able to end their lives, while on the other extreme you've got people who fail to consider how useless the health service is, how judgemental people can be (even loved ones) and negate how members feel because it doesn't fit into their world view.
The availability of an open forum should not be judged on the extreme views of a minority, but as usual the majority is put in the same box.

I'm now going to be a little bit direct (unlike me, I know!)...
There is a person who tragically lost her son to suicide. Following his computer and phone being examined it was discovered that he had been on this site.
I do not know the circumstances surrounding it, but this person has decided to rally together with a group of people and start a campaign against this website.
She seems to think that everyone on this website is a bad apple - absolutely everybody!
Yes there are a minority of bad apples, but the majority are people just like her son: depressed, vulnerable and very low.
I genuinely feel that this person's efforts would be better placed in trying to improve mental health services, for instance.

I'm not going to get into this whole debate again because I've already had it, see the link to my thread below:


Yes that is exactly my view there are some people on this site that I have seen tell people it’s okay not to do it and I’ve seen some people tell them not to tell them to not do it and in my view they’re not telling them not to do it they are telling them it’s okay to back out. It’s a huge decision and in certain situations once you have done whatever method there is no turning back. I have read a few bits on the recovery page and have seen a lot of negativity towards medication. There are always going to be people that dislike a medication but there will be people who that medication could help it could save there life but they now won’t give it a chance because they have read negative things online. If you wanted to buy a tv for example and a few reviews said don’t buy it, it doesn’t work you’re probably not going to buy it. I don’t have access to any data and I didn’t say majority don’t get help I said the majority here have people that love and care about them, I said many on here never get help Because again help is talked so negatively about, I think as well as having the option to ctb people should be aware that there is help out there. Yeah some countries may be better than others and some areas within a country may be better than others but you don’t know until you try. Another thing that has disappointed me in this forum is once somebody kills me themselves, they very rarely get talked about again. but yet there families and friends will endure a lifetime of heartache and pain but yet the community here likes to think they’re the caring ones. Until someone dies and then it’s see ya later mate. Never to be remembered here again.
 
BipolarGuy

BipolarGuy

Illuminated
Joined
Aug 7, 2020
Messages
1,493
Yes that is exactly my view there are some people on this site that I have seen tell people it’s okay not to do it and I’ve seen some people tell them not to tell them to not do it and in my view they’re not telling them not to do it they are telling them it’s okay to back out. It’s a huge decision and in certain situations once you have done whatever method there is no turning back. I have read a few bits on the recovery page and have seen a lot of negativity towards medication. There are always going to be people that dislike a medication but there will be people who that medication could help it could save there life but they now won’t give it a chance because they have read negative things online. If you wanted to buy a tv for example and a few reviews said don’t buy it, it doesn’t work you’re probably not going to buy it. I don’t have access to any data and I didn’t say majority don’t get help I said the majority here have people that love and care about them, I said many on here never get help Because again help is talked so negatively about, I think as well as having the option to ctb people should be aware that there is help out there. Yeah some countries may be better than others and some areas within a country may be better than others but you don’t know until you try. Another thing that has disappointed me in this forum is once somebody kills me themselves, they very rarely get talked about again. but yet there families and friends will endure a lifetime of heartache and pain but yet the community here likes to think they’re the caring ones. Until someone dies and then it’s see ya later mate. Never to be remembered here again.
I largely agree, other than on some points.

I think much of the negativity surrounding antidepressants is due either to the side effects (which not everybody experiences) or because of the widely accepted view that pills are very often handed out without being referred for therapy.

A consultant psychiatrist once told me that he finds it very frustrating that general practitioners (GPs) often don't refer patients to him early enough, either for therapy or medication.
He described how GPs are not specialists in mental health, and that most know of a maximum of 3-5 SSRI antidepressants that are available for prescription.
He said that GPs do not generally know about other antidepressants, and when it comes to other medication such as mood stabilisers, GPs are out of their depth.

I must say that I have never seen the idea of getting help being talked about negatively, not even by the 'bad apples' I referred to earlier.
Yes, people share experiences of poor clinical practice, or ignorant comments from family and friends, but I have never seen anybody actively discourage anybody from getting help.

Regarding remembering old members:
I think it is very difficult to put together a 'memorial' for an anonymous person on a website.
However there was in fact talk only in the last few days of some kind of thread being made that would I believe somehow refer to old members.
Perhaps other members will be able to provide more details on this.
 
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T

tidalwxves

Veteran
Joined
Sep 8, 2020
Messages
188
Yes that is exactly my view there are some people on this site that I have seen tell people it’s okay not to do it and I’ve seen some people tell them not to tell them to not do it and in my view they’re not telling them not to do it they are telling them it’s okay to back out. It’s a huge decision and in certain situations once you have done whatever method there is no turning back. I have read a few bits on the recovery page and have seen a lot of negativity towards medication. There are always going to be people that dislike a medication but there will be people who that medication could help it could save there life but they now won’t give it a chance because they have read negative things online. If you wanted to buy a tv for example and a few reviews said don’t buy it, it doesn’t work you’re probably not going to buy it. I don’t have access to any data and I didn’t say majority don’t get help I said the majority here have people that love and care about them, I said many on here never get help Because again help is talked so negatively about, I think as well as having the option to ctb people should be aware that there is help out there. Yeah some countries may be better than others and some areas within a country may be better than others but you don’t know until you try. Another thing that has disappointed me in this forum is once somebody kills me themselves, they very rarely get talked about again. but yet there families and friends will endure a lifetime of heartache and pain but yet the community here likes to think they’re the caring ones. Until someone dies and then it’s see ya later mate. Never to be remembered here again.
I agree with this wholeheartedly, thanks for sharing this perspective! While I am grateful to have found this website I do think it has been a dangerous influence on some vulnerable people. The same can be said about instagram honestly but that doesn't absolve us as members of this community from holding ourselves to the best standard possible and calling out that minority and also keeping minors off. I've reported a couple accounts where the user clearly was talking about high school and that alarmed me just because of the nature of this site. I hope these conversations continue in order to help this community improve and serve those desperate enough to find themselves here.
 
D

depression999

Member
Joined
Aug 18, 2020
Messages
35
I largely agree, other than on some points.

I think much of the negativity surrounding antidepressants is due either to the side effects (which not everybody experiences) or because of the widely accepted view that pills are very often handed out without being referred for therapy.

A consultant psychiatrist once told me that he finds it very frustrating that general practitioners (GPs) often don't refer patients to him early enough, either for therapy or medication.
He described how GPs are not specialists in mental health, and that most know of a maximum of 3-5 SSRI antidepressants that are available for prescription.
He said that GPs do not generally know about other antidepressants, and when it comes to other medication such as mood stabilisers, GPs are out of their depth.

I must say that I have never seen the idea of getting help being talked about negatively, not even by the 'bad apples' I referred to earlier.
Yes, people share experiences of poor clinical practice, or ignorant comments from family and friends, but I have never seen anybody actively discourage anybody from getting help.

Regarding remembering old members:
I think it is very difficult to put together a 'memorial' for an anonymous person on a website.
However there was in fact talk only in the last few days of some kind of thread being made that would I believe somehow refer to old members.
Perhaps other members will be able to provide more details on this.
I agree GP’s do need more training on mental health and knowing when & who to refer people to at the right time. I haven’t seen anyone say don’t get help but I have seen people complain about the help they have received or not received but everyone is so different, and it could put people off reaching out andpeople react to things differently it might work for you and not me and vice versa I just don’t understand how people can put there friends and family in so much pain without even trying and as much as we all like to say oh they said things will get better it’s likely in some circumstances that things will get better, things will get easier, especially to people school age/college age, people going through a divorce or what not, things do get easier with time and I’m a true believer in a problem shared is a problem halved whether the recipient wants to hear it or not, at least you’ve tried to move forward and share, what your loved one of doctor does with that information says a lot. I do agree it is hard to have a memorial or whatever for the people sadly no longer here but my point is, I’ve seen countless times ‘don’t let your friends and family stop you’ but out of everyone it should be them to stop you because they care, and love you like I said they’re the ones in years to come will still miss you, still think about you & talk about you & this community would of forgotten all about you within a week, it youre dead set you want to kill your self don’t spend your last days with people on here that couldn’t really care any less, spend it with the people in your real life that will be devastated, whose worlds will come crumbling down when they find out what you did
I agree with this wholeheartedly, thanks for sharing this perspective! While I am grateful to have found this website I do think it has been a dangerous influence on some vulnerable people. The same can be said about instagram honestly but that doesn't absolve us as members of this community from holding ourselves to the best standard possible and calling out that minority and also keeping minors off. I've reported a couple accounts where the user clearly was talking about high school and that alarmed me just because of the nature of this site. I hope these conversations continue in order to help this community improve and serve those desperate enough to find themselves here.
thank you, I’m glad someone understands what I mean, and I agree all social media has a dangerous influence. This website is obv a lot different as majority of people here are depressed and some can be easily influenced and on a bad day can feel desperate & vulnerable! Thank you
 
demuic

demuic

You used to be alright, what happened?
Joined
Sep 12, 2020
Messages
56
I agree GP’s do need more training on mental health and knowing when & who to refer people to at the right time. I haven’t seen anyone say don’t get help but I have seen people complain about the help they have received or not received but everyone is so different, and it could put people off reaching out andpeople react to things differently it might work for you and not me and vice versa I just don’t understand how people can put there friends and family in so much pain without even trying and as much as we all like to say oh they said things will get better it’s likely in some circumstances that things will get better, things will get easier, especially to people school age/college age, people going through a divorce or what not, things do get easier with time and I’m a true believer in a problem shared is a problem halved whether the recipient wants to hear it or not, at least you’ve tried to move forward and share, what your loved one of doctor does with that information says a lot. I do agree it is hard to have a memorial or whatever for the people sadly no longer here but my point is, I’ve seen countless times ‘don’t let your friends and family stop you’ but out of everyone it should be them to stop you because they care, and love you like I said they’re the ones in years to come will still miss you, still think about you & talk about you & this community would of forgotten all about you within a week, it youre dead set you want to kill your self don’t spend your last days with people on here that couldn’t really care any less, spend it with the people in your real life that will be devastated, whose worlds will come crumbling down when they find out what you did


thank you, I’m glad someone understands what I mean, and I agree all social media has a dangerous influence. This website is obv a lot different as majority of people here are depressed and some can be easily influenced and on a bad day can feel desperate & vulnerable! Thank you
And the reason people complain so much about medication and therapy and mental health systems is because people wanna act like those things are a magical cure and never talk about the negatives like side effects that make your life worse than before you started or the downright abusive and unhelpful people that can call themselves "therapists, psychiatrists, counselors," who shame you and laugh at you for problems (many threads like this.)



For many people, their problems are not just situational, it's with their mind, or society, which can't ever be fixed, only coped with.

There are also people who really have NO ONE in their life, no friends nor family, and this platitude of "don't hurt your friends or family" doesn't help them.
 
D

depression999

Member
Joined
Aug 18, 2020
Messages
35
And the reason people complain so much about medication and therapy and mental health systems is because people wanna act like those things are a magical cure and never talk about the negatives like side effects that make your life worse than before you started or the downright abusive and unhelpful people that can call themselves "therapists, psychiatrists, counselors," who shame you and laugh at you for problems (many threads like this.)



For many people, their problems are not just situational, it's with their mind, or society, which can't ever be fixed, only coped with.

There are also people who really have NO ONE in their life, no friends nor family, and this platitude of "don't hurt your friends or family" doesn't help them.
That’s is why I said the majority of people and not all people, I know there are people that have no one that’s why I didn’t say everyone. And my whole point is it’s not a one size fits all. People should try it before listening to the opinions of people on here. The side effects to medication are widely available online. You know google. MY WHOLE POINT IS SUICIDE SHOULD BE A LAST RESORT! It’s like everyone on here just wants everyone to kill themselves. And I’ve said multiples times now I’m not saying everyone should speak to a GP or a professional but a family member, a trusted friend! Before making a decision that can’t always be reversed!
 
Chupacabra 44

Chupacabra 44

If boredom were a CTB method, I would be long gone
Joined
Sep 13, 2020
Messages
565
That’s is why I said the majority of people and not all people, I know there are people that have no one that’s why I didn’t say everyone. And my whole point is it’s not a one size fits all. People should try it before listening to the opinions of people on here. The side effects to medication are widely available online. You know google. MY WHOLE POINT IS SUICIDE SHOULD BE A LAST RESORT! It’s like everyone on here just wants everyone to kill themselves. And I’ve said multiples times now I’m not saying everyone should speak to a GP or a professional but a family member, a trusted friend! Before making a decision that can’t always be reversed!


Wrong.

I absolutely 100% do not want people to kill themselves unless they've exhausted every other feasible option. Feel free to peruse my post history if you would like.

My post history is full of trying to help people think how to help themselves. I am 100% pro choice; I am 500%, think twice; I am 1000% do this as the last option.

If someone doesn't like my approach ignore me. If a mod doesn't like my approach ban me. That's how I look at it. All of my actions are above board; no hidden agenda.

I'm about to be permanently quarantine into recovery if I keep up my schtick. And, if I can reach one person on my way out the door, I'm good with that.

Peace.
 
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demuic

demuic

You used to be alright, what happened?
Joined
Sep 12, 2020
Messages
56
The side effects to medication are widely available online. You know google.
This is a profoundly ignorant statement.

MY WHOLE POINT IS SUICIDE SHOULD BE A LAST RESORT! It’s like everyone on here just wants everyone to kill themselves. And I’ve said multiples times now I’m not saying everyone should speak to a GP or a professional but a family member, a trusted friend! Before making a decision that can’t always be reversed!
Again, some people may technically have "family and friends" but these are not people that they can speak to because they give empty platitudes and refuse to try to understand them, or are the ones who are causing them problems in the first place. "Talk to your friends/family" isn't a magical cure if you live in the hell of mental illness trapped in your own mind, or physical illness trapped in your body, or are disgusted with the world and humanity and want to leave it. I think the majority of people here know it can't be reversed, that's the whole point.
 
muffin222

muffin222

Elementalist
Joined
Mar 31, 2020
Messages
701
That’s is why I said the majority of people and not all people, I know there are people that have no one that’s why I didn’t say everyone. And my whole point is it’s not a one size fits all. People should try it before listening to the opinions of people on here. The side effects to medication are widely available online. You know google. MY WHOLE POINT IS SUICIDE SHOULD BE A LAST RESORT! It’s like everyone on here just wants everyone to kill themselves. And I’ve said multiples times now I’m not saying everyone should speak to a GP or a professional but a family member, a trusted friend! Before making a decision that can’t always be reversed!
Of course suicide should be a last resort. I've never seen anyone say "kill yourself" on here. In fact, I see a lot of people encouraging people to explore other options. As for the comment about side effects of medication being available online...that's true, but until you take the medication yourself you have no real way of knowing which side effects are going to impact you.
Where has anyone said that they want everyone to kill themselves? What a horrible, baseless statement to make about the members of this forum

Not to mention, some people don't have friends or family members who care. That's why this site is so great for those people- they don't have to suffer alone
 
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