[Venting] When you're not like everyone else

  • Welcome to Sanctioned Suicide, a pro-choice forum for the discussion of mental illness, suicide, and the moral implications of the act itself. This is not a pro-suicide site. We do not encourage or aid suicide, and the information offered is for educational purposes only. Read our rules and FAQ for more information. We also offer a recovery subforum if you wish to get support.

    You can close this box by clicking the top right "X".

MeriDeath

MeriDeath

Member
May 10, 2020
49
102
What does having a normal life mean?
Does it mean having an Instagram account with thousands of followers?
Does it mean thinking yourself to an Instagram model and pose all day and promote stuff? Showing your boobs and butts etc? Is this really the gist of life? But not having a social media account is just the first step in being a lonesome ghost I guess, in being a peculiar creature.
Is having normal life means parents that love you? I wish sometimes they would pay more attention to me, and then when I remember my childhood I can only think about my parents mistreating and maltreating me at times. No real connection with them. They are just "there".
Is having a normal life means you need to have friends and play the fake around them all day just because you don't have real people that can understand your problems and your real issues in life? Because I certainly don't have any, and I'm tired of my lonesome, I'm tired of playing the lonely ghost and not having any friends just because I "chose" that due to to my mental illness.
Is having normal life means I should go to university , meet someone and get married etc? Because I never wanted those. But I wish I would. Really bad. But that doesn't matter because no one ever liked me. I'm invisible.
What is normal life if anything? Does it mean being in your room all day, not being able to smile and feel the pain misery and agony eating you from the inside? I'm not flourishing, I'm rotting. Everything in life is just destroyed.
And I don't even want to begin writing about my mental illness, that wont let me have my mental peace I deserve. I don't wanna get stuck in a room for the rest of my life, not being able to pay the rent due to me being sick and not being able to love anything or anyone. Everyone's a scumbag. Really, I don't like anything. I hate all jobs. I hate all professions. Never liked anything. There's no point when you're not happy with "normal" life. There are phases to life and I feel like I've skipped all of them. As if life's goal from the very beginning was to put obstacles in my way and let me fix them, only that I'm failing. And that means you're sentenced to being doomed. Thanks for reading.
 
Last edited:
ssaaahmo

ssaaahmo

Veteran
May 18, 2020
189
291
I think normal is different for different people.
I also think there's a "normal" for society, like you have to be the perfect example of everything society wants, or else you're not "normal", therefore not enough. Just my take on it
 
GoBack

GoBack

Elementalist
Apr 25, 2020
785
660
I never got too hung up on bein normal. I realized I wasn’t at a young age so I just went with it. It was really liberating, and once you accept it you find all the other people who aren’t normal, often they’re people who appear normal but really aren’t

There is no normal, it’s an illusion
 
H

Hopeindeath!

Arcanist
Dec 7, 2019
522
609
I'm sorry you feel like you are just rotting, and that everything in your life is just destroyed. You are in a terrible place in your life, and I feel for you.:hug:
 
A

Arvinneedstodie

Member
Sep 18, 2018
84
257
To me normal life just means health, no mental illness, friends, partner, average education and career path, and just being an independent individual and not burden by any major problem. Everything else is superficial.

If I had any of those things I wouldn't be on this forum.
 
irreversibledamage

irreversibledamage

Member
May 23, 2020
17
54
But not having a social media account is just the first step in being a lonesome ghost I guess, in being a peculiar creature.
You just accurately described me, I never had any social media and I often got bullied or left behind because of that.

I too never felt as someone normal, I remember all those family reunions, I looked around at what everyone was doing and everything was strange to me, I didn't belong there...
 
  • Like
Reactions: Isittimetogonola
The Dark Chaos

The Dark Chaos

Hell is empty and all the devils are here..
Apr 17, 2020
139
223
I'm soo sorryy you have to go throughh all this.
Growing up, we were all brought up thinking that we should follow this life cycle – graduate from University, build a stable life with good career that also pays well, settle down and start a familyy. And if that's what a "normal" life is then I don't think I can have one. Living with that tightness in your throat, those butterflies in your stomach, those racing thought of “what if’s” spinning through your mind, and the constant feeling that something just isn’t right, that you aren't right, this world isn't right. I don't think so I can have one thenn..
 
M

Meowkin

Veteran
May 6, 2020
127
267
What does having a normal life mean?
Does it mean having an Instagram account with thousands of followers?
Does it mean thinking yourself to an Instagram model and pose all day and promote stuff? Showing your boobs and butts etc? Is this really the gist of life? But not having a social media account is just the first step in being a lonesome ghost I guess, in being a peculiar creature.
Is having normal life means parents that love you? I wish sometimes they would pay more attention to me, and then when I remember my childhood I can only think about my parents mistreating and maltreating me at times. No real connection with them. They are just "there".
Is having a normal life means you need to have friends and play the fake around them all day just because you don't have real people that can understand your problems and your real issues in life? Because I certainly don't have any, and I'm tired of my lonesome, I'm tired of playing the lonely ghost and not having any friends just because I "chose" that due to to my mental illness.
Is having normal life means I should go to university , meet someone and get married etc? Because I never wanted those. But I wish I would. Really bad. But that doesn't matter because no one ever liked me. I'm invisible.
What is normal life if anything? Does it mean being in your room all day, not being able to smile and feel the pain misery and agony eating you from the inside? I'm not flourishing, I'm rotting. Everything in life is just destroyed.
And I don't even want to begin writing about my mental illness, that wont let me have my mental peace I deserve. I don't wanna get stuck in a room for the rest of my life, not being able to pay the rent due to me being sick and not being able to love anything or anyone. Everyone's a scumbag. Really, I don't like anything. I hate all jobs. I hate all professions. Never liked anything. There's no point when you're not happy with "normal" life. There are phases to life and I feel like I've skipped all of them. As if life's goal from the very beginning was to put obstacles in my way and let me fix them, only that I'm failing. And that means you're sentenced to being doomed. Thanks for reading.
I'm sorry for your pain and anguish. Feeling like you're different from everyone else can be isolating. If it makes you better to write out your thoughts here, I'm glad you have an outlet for temporary relief.