What's keeping you here

  • Welcome to Sanctioned Suicide, a pro-choice forum for the discussion of mental illness, suicide, and the moral implications of the act itself. This is not a pro-suicide site. We do not encourage or aid suicide, and the information offered is for educational purposes only. Read our rules and FAQ for more information.
    For immediate help, consider calling the Samaritan's hotline: (877) 870-4673. Be aware they may call emergency services if they believe you are at imminent risk of death. We also offer a recovery subforum if you wish to get support.
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trigzter

Member
Aug 9, 2019
6
8
I always find something to delay the inevitable. Oh look football and hockey start soon...and i dont own a gun
 
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Lady black

Lady black

33 male, central europe
Oct 22, 2018
546
1,538
Seems my partner for the last way left me, so I´m still here
 
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Baskol1

Baskol1

No life, no problems
Aug 11, 2019
1,042
1,608
Simple, hope for a better future, even if it may be false hope, and of course my dog. But suicide may be an option in the future, if my life would be getting worse and unbearable, which is not the case in the moment. My life is bad, but not unbearable.
 
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Shamana

Wizard
May 31, 2019
673
1,131
My family and fear of the afterlife. Also logically thinking about my corpse rotting in a grave or being cremated scares me. It's a shit situation when you don't want to live and don't want to die.
 
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Intelligent_Lobster

Intelligent_Lobster

I knew taking this picture would come in handy
Mar 30, 2019
87
141
once I figure it out, I'll be ready to go.
 
Baskol1

Baskol1

No life, no problems
Aug 11, 2019
1,042
1,608
The Methods arent that hard, whats hard is overcoming your natural survival instinct.
 
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calendulo

Wizard
Jun 13, 2019
602
588
The meto, that is what I am keeping here.
 
reveriewong

reveriewong

Member
Feb 22, 2019
64
149
Faith, constant striving to be a better person, and to make a difference in someone's life.
 
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Deltrus

Member
Mar 20, 2019
51
106
I promised my mom I wouldn't suicide until she died. She was still sad for a day because I wanted to suicide eventually, probably for religious reasons.

She probably wants to meet me in some sort of heaven. I don't even want to go to some sort of stereotypical christian heaven, I got my own version of spirituality, my heaven is to evolve and self improve on an infinite journey to perfection. To make the ultimate language and write the ultimate story with it, to understand understanding itself/everything else, to engineer the ultimate experience. And perhaps stumble upon even greater things than that? My human life is only here to use as inspiration.

So I don't ever want to see my mom again, after a fairwell. She doesn't have the same aspirations to become something greater. And she is so determined to keep me alive even though I am suffering so much. That is another reason I don't resonate with her.

I still don't want to see my family suffer, my mom would become incredibly depressed if I died, making it miserable for my dad and brother. My brother especially doesn't deserve that, he is working so hard to get through university and work internships, I have a feel that if I died it would be the straw that broke the camel's back.

If suicide was legal I think I would do it. That way I could say my farewells and try to make it a happy thing. I am super excited for death, I really think there is an afterlife with less suffering than I'm living with. In fact, I think my heaven is real.

But really perhaps the universe will surprise me, maybe it knows of a better future for me, itself and everyone. I don't know.
 
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StupidLizard

StupidLizard

Member
Feb 21, 2019
12
38
I am responsible for 35+ exotic animals, potentially dangerous ones.

Family, somewhat. Oh, and fear... of course. ;)
 
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Futility

Futility

Veteran
Aug 14, 2019
184
490
I am here because of fear of failure, I'm horrified of not doing things right and getting forced to live under a watchful eye with possible damage that would prevent me from trying again.

.. I also feel incredibly loyal to my dog, she's my best friend and I have a hard time with abandoning her. I know my boyfriend and neighbor treat her really nice, but she's bonded with me more than they are.
When my parent died, I saw the look on the dog's face when they put her in the hearse, I did not like that reaction, dogs understand death it seems like.
 
Robbyna

Robbyna

Veteran
Mar 6, 2019
188
545
I’m afraid of failing. I have some failed attempts and it seems like no matter what I try I’m not going to die until it’s my time...or maybe I’m just not strong enough to have done it right. I wish I could just be lucky enough to get in an accident or come down with some sudden deadly illness. I want to die without fear. My next attempt will be a jump, but I’m so afraid because the consequences of failing at this would definitely be very high. So I’m still here because I’m scared of surviving...
 
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SinisterKid

SinisterKid

Moderator
Jun 1, 2019
2,108
6,566
meme depression apparently :wink:

It is amazing what you can learn in a place like this.

Oh, and I crave the attention of all you good people as it must validate my penchant for suicide is some way.
 
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Baskol1

Baskol1

No life, no problems
Aug 11, 2019
1,042
1,608
meme depression apparently :wink:

It is amazing what you can learn in a place like this.

Oh, and I crave the attention of all you good people as it must validate my penchant for suicide is some way.
How old are you? Im 19.
 
dreamsofdestruction

dreamsofdestruction

Everywhere I look is chaos
May 9, 2019
344
622
There shouldn't be a lot. I still have moments where I think oh maybe a miracle will happen and I'll get saved and it will turn out alright. But everything is already crumbling under me and I am not worth saving, there really shouldn't be anything.
 
SinisterKid

SinisterKid

Moderator
Jun 1, 2019
2,108
6,566
Multiply by 3, add a few and you will be in the ball park.
 
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Dawn0071111

Dawn0071111

Hungry Ghost
Dec 9, 2018
572
1,369
Needing to put all my affairs in order for husband. Then to carry out plan since it wont be at my home. I want to make sure I leave everything, bills, passwords, papers, insurance, phone numbers.... It's a lot to do and I'm fatigued a lot. Plan slowly moving forward.
 
lospollos

lospollos

Pro-choice
Mar 31, 2019
27
36
To be honest I thought a child would give you a meaning in life? I’m sorry I just believed this but I suppose it is hard. I’m sorry you want to CTB :( however, I hope you can live happily with your son.
My son, and what comes next.
 
Rocksandsand

Rocksandsand

-
May 26, 2019
397
1,365
Perceived obligation - I don’t want to cause grief to my brother or dad

My dog. I don’t want him to go somewhere where he might not be loved enough
 
Oblivion Lover

Oblivion Lover

No life, no suffering
May 30, 2019
364
1,183
I don't have any obligations or responsibilities to take care of before I ctb like many people here have. The only thing keeping me here is not having the means to buy SN online. The week when my SN arrive will likely be my last.