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Discussion What makes depressed people isolate themselves?

why do you isolate?

  • otherwise its too exhausting

    Votes: 60 58.3%
  • fear of being judged

    Votes: 58 56.3%
  • feeling not accepted

    Votes: 57 55.3%
  • feeling not understood

    Votes: 56 54.4%
  • i can't plan while being among others

    Votes: 16 15.5%
  • no energy

    Votes: 59 57.3%
  • anxiety

    Votes: 64 62.1%
  • feeling like not fitting in due to depression

    Votes: 50 48.5%
  • feeling like not fitting in generally, with or without depression

    Votes: 64 62.1%
  • feeling like a burden

    Votes: 45 43.7%

  • Total voters
    103
_Minsk

_Minsk

death: the cure for life
Joined
Dec 9, 2019
Messages
560
im very curious about why depressed people tend to isolate themselves. for me its that i simply don't feel accepted for being depressed, not to mention suicidal. for me it feels like all people i encounter irl, are extremely pro life. depression also makes it very hard for me to socialize in general.
i wonder what are the most common reasons and if we share similarities.
 
BitterlyAlive

BitterlyAlive

Tired of the pain.
Joined
Apr 8, 2020
Messages
1,322
In my mind, I feel like a burden and an annoyance. A pest. It's better for others if i just hide myself because I'm just a bitch.

On a good day, it's because interacting with people irl requires a lot of energy and attention. I can either spend it on here browsing for a couple hours, or spend it talking to someone for 15-30 minutes irl.
 
W

Wisdom3_1-9

he/him/his
Joined
Jul 19, 2020
Messages
940
When you feel that no one really understands you, their company becomes less significant and less desired. I actually think we don't really want to be isolated; we want to be with someone who understands us 100%, but that person doesn't exist, so we retract from everyone. Our friends fulfill this prophecy when they offer their support but don't follow through, or when they offer meaningless platitudes or clichéd messages of hope. The more this happens, the more we isolate. Our brain is the only entity that understands us. It's also the entity that haunts us most. Cruel irony.
 
BitterlyAlive

BitterlyAlive

Tired of the pain.
Joined
Apr 8, 2020
Messages
1,322
When you feel that no one really understands you, their company becomes less significant and less desired. I actually think we don't really want to be isolated; we want to be with someone who understands us 100%, but that person doesn't exist, so we retract from everyone. Our friends fulfill this prophecy when they offer their support but don't follow through, or when they offer meaningless platitudes or clichéd messages of hope. The more this happens, the more we isolate. Our brain is the only entity that understands us. It's also the entity that haunts us most. Cruel irony.
Tbh even with understanding and supportive friends I still feel the need to isolate. :/
 
Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

"So if you love me let me go" -snuff
Joined
Jul 1, 2020
Messages
1,234
Because..... I never much thought about it but yeah... I guess burden would be the right answer. My depression starts to act up and my thoughts get to me and I just guess everyone is better off without me
 
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blackcatnash

blackcatnash

Member
Joined
Aug 17, 2020
Messages
41
I think depressed people develop a different way of sensitivity, or at least it happened to me. So it gets easy to get hurt by others, and that's one of the reason why I tend to isolate myself. Then, as you said, the realization that depressed and\or suicidal people are usually avoided, so we have to put a mask if we want to have a "succesful" relationship, but after some time it gets heavy and we can't stand this burden for so much so we just go "fuck it!" and crawl back in our shell.
And finally depression is a mental illness and people can't or don't want to understand what's going on in other people's mind, so we feel just misunderstood and tired to try to explain what we go through.
 
death137

death137

Wise
Joined
Jun 25, 2020
Messages
286
I first started to isolate myself at age 8 years and 8 months. It had to do with general shyness and what happened to my family. I felt angry and embarrassed. This reason lasted until age 17/18. From there to now (23) the reason has to do with my general shyness and appearance mainly my height. I’m short (1.63 meter) and this fact greatly damaged my confidence and motivation to socialize.
 
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G

GoneGoneGone

Arcanist
Joined
Apr 1, 2020
Messages
559
OP, what do you mean by “I can’t plan while being among others?”
 
G

GoneGoneGone

Arcanist
Joined
Apr 1, 2020
Messages
559
Okay that’s what I thought, thanks. Tho there are some depressed people who do not want to ctb.

Did anyone get depressed by *not isolating enough *, so to say? I was not particularly depressed when I started struggling with some medical problems and burnout. Was just tired. I was quite open but kept on being asked by random people “So what problems do you exactly have?”, “What are you going to do about your job?” etc. until I became tired of explaining myself, and got depressed.
 
BitterlyAlive

BitterlyAlive

Tired of the pain.
Joined
Apr 8, 2020
Messages
1,322
I think depressed people develop a different way of sensitivity, or at least it happened to me. So it gets easy to get hurt by others, and that's one of the reason why I tend to isolate myself. Then, as you said, the realization that depressed and\or suicidal people are usually avoided, so we have to put a mask if we want to have a "succesful" relationship, but after some time it gets heavy and we can't stand this burden for so much so we just go "fuck it!" and crawl back in our shell.
And finally depression is a mental illness and people can't or don't want to understand what's going on in other people's mind, so we feel just misunderstood and tired to try to explain what we go through.
Yes, you definitely become more sensitive with depression. Rejection sensitivity is a symptom of atypical depression if I remember right. And you're absolutely right...the mask is so exhausting, and people don't want to help either. It sucks.
 
O

offthewalltw

Member
Joined
Aug 21, 2020
Messages
7
I feel this missed an aspect, envy. Suicide happens a lot in the spring months not the winter. Depression I think hurts the most when it is contrasted with people living happy and fulfilling lives. I don't go out because I feel envious of other people achieving happiness. At home I can ignore it more or less.
 
parasytes_

parasytes_

Member
Joined
Jul 14, 2020
Messages
27
Honestly for me it's all of these, but the biggest one for me is that I feel like such a negative, depressed burden no one wants to be around. I don't blame them either, it's just easier to isolate myself so no else outside my family has to even bother with me. It also means less people that will be affected when I do ctb so there's that. :I
 
CalmStrikeofMercy

CalmStrikeofMercy

Detatched Observer.
Joined
Dec 8, 2019
Messages
53
Socio-geo-political strife.

Working class...tend to find sanctioned jobs that have elements of behavior that will result in criminal prosecution.

Retaliation for being cooperative. Prosecution for not being cooperative.
 

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puppy9

puppy9

Bohemian Hog
Joined
Jun 13, 2019
Messages
767
I'm exhausted. Very tired. Out of steam. Resting will not suffice. :aw:
 
BPD Barbie

BPD Barbie

I'm a BPD Barbie Girl living in a suicidal world
Joined
Dec 1, 2019
Messages
2,130
I find people overwhelming at times.
 
AlreadyGone

AlreadyGone

Taking it day by day
Joined
Jan 11, 2020
Messages
906
I don't know. I am depressed because I do not like where my life has gone even though I have worked extraordinarily hard to change it. I am not happy and all my friends have families and they are happy. It makes it hard to see people when you are not happy at all.
 
P

Pharmaruined

Member
Joined
Sep 10, 2020
Messages
35
Probably cuz I'm already dead.. I'd rather have the people I know remember me when. I was healthy and vibrant.. although I still have a few people in my life..and I'm part of a pool league.. sometimes it's torture to go.. and the fact I can't flirt with the waitresses anymore kills me.. when I do flirt they think I'm playing hard to get when I don't follow up, they don't know I'm basically impotent.. fucking sux..
 
muffin222

muffin222

Arcanist
Joined
Mar 31, 2020
Messages
577
I already know that the people around me don't know what to say or how to respond to my depression. It makes me feel shitty to get the old, "I don't know what to tell ya", so I just isolate and keep the pain to myself
 
nitroautnz

nitroautnz

Specialist
Joined
Sep 11, 2020
Messages
302
I always isolated myself, as long as i remember, because i struggle in social situation, I hate it and it brings me pain. Anf i suffer from my isolation too, but at least its a pain that I know, its weirdly comforting.
 
B

Burzolog

Enlightened
Joined
Apr 5, 2018
Messages
898
it feels like all people i encounter irl, are extremely pro life
Yeah, same. It's like if you were in a foreign country where no one you meet IRL speaks the same language as you.
 
lavenderangel

lavenderangel

sad gal
Joined
Jul 31, 2020
Messages
4
I guess I’m a mixture of all of those. Since I was a child I never felt like I fit in anywhere...I’ve isolated myself so much that I don’t think anyone will notice when i’m gone.
 
B

Bitterman1996

Member
Joined
May 20, 2020
Messages
5
When functional/ normal enough to socialize: isolates self to prevent being hurt, social anxiety, never fits in in the first place

When being depressed/lower mood/suicidal: isolates self because I believe I'll just be a burden, no one like to constantly reassure a sad whiny man, can't seek help to others because you would look incompetent
 

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