What made you join SS?

  • Welcome to Sanctioned Suicide, a pro-choice forum for the discussion of mental illness, suicide, and the moral implications of the act itself. We do not encourage or aid suicide, the information offered is for educational purposes only. For more information read our FAQ.
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Stan

Stan

Factoid Hunter
Aug 29, 2019
525
965
United Kingdom
I was googling for the method with inert and found the site, joined so I could see the resources and details. After reading through I changed my mind to SN so it has been an invaluable resource in that respect. Its nice to converse with people as I am in my apartment 24/7 with no company so that was an unexpected bonus
 
Sargasm

Sargasm

Compassion makes the world go 'round.
Jun 19, 2019
50
174
I originally came here strictly for detailed and thoughtful information on CTB methods that I could be at peace with. I have found that, but I have also found an amazing community of people that I can be truly honest with.

I have expressed all of the horrible and painful truths that I have kept hidden over the past four years, and really, my entire life, and I have been met with acceptance, compassion, and understanding. Well, not all of the horrible and painful truths. I have to leave a few things to mystery, at least for now.

As strange as it is, this place is infinitely more therapeutic and cathartic than any depression support group I have tried. They truly meant well, and had good intentions, but there are just some things I can't talk about with them. Namely, proper SN doses, Meto regimens, and where to buy them. :)

May the possibly non-existent god(s) bless you, ya fuckin' weirdos.
 
ralphnol

ralphnol

-
Aug 26, 2019
61
146
As strange as it is, this place is infinitely more therapeutic and cathartic than any depression support group I have tried. They truly meant well, and had good intentions, but there are just some things I can't talk about with them. Namely, proper SN doses, Meto regimens, and where to buy them. :)
May the possibly non-existent god(s) bless you, ya fuckin' weirdos.
As strange as it is. Just being here makes me kinda tolerate life.
 
Sargasm

Sargasm

Compassion makes the world go 'round.
Jun 19, 2019
50
174
As strange as it is. Just being here makes me kinda tolerate life.
It does take some of the edge off of the loneliness, doesn't it?

I know the people here can't step into my life and fix my problems and make everything all better, but being able to share here does make me feel like I can breathe a little.
 
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H

hunthunt

Member
Aug 26, 2019
51
115
Seeking info, it really helped me with my method of choice and how to do it correctly(partial hanging)

Also it has been a very interesting experience tolearn about people with some of the same problems than me.
 
Wayfaerer

Wayfaerer

FML
Aug 21, 2019
394
603
US
What made you come to SS?

I came because I wanted support from people that actually know what I’m going through and eventually end it,
Same exact reason. My circumstances are unusual and thus isolating but I've read some comments over these past few months that had resonated with me despite the fact. Uncanny.

I don't think I'd be able to get this level of support anywhere else.
 
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GemCami

GemCami

Incomplete
Sep 10, 2019
36
73
27
Canada
I came here to have a safe place to discuss life and its consequences, death and its consequences, and try to find some strength to finally use the only cure for my pain that i can find.
 
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O

OverItAll

Member
Aug 31, 2019
43
120
I'd heard of exit bags, and with suicidal thoughts becoming more common, wanted to research it some more. Still my preferred method with Nitrogen, but also interested in SN (will see how it went for another member who tried it last few days and it appears to have not worked, if she comes back of course).

Since then, I've been blown away by what a predominantly loving and caring community this is. I've also been feeling like a complete and utter fraud; no degenerative diseases or disabilities, functioning effectively when it comes to work and home responsibilities - like I have everything to live for - just beset with a shit attitude, a deep despair, a victim mentality, a chip on my shoulder, a sense of self-loathing, and a hate for the modern world. I'm pathetic.
 
W

wendydong1

Wise
Jul 31, 2019
286
386
Came here because wanting to CTB and research about methods. But people here are the nicest people... And have supported me throughout my emotional turmoil...
 
ImSorryEmma

ImSorryEmma

Skylar
Mar 28, 2019
68
110
Arizona, US
bit.ly
I realized that the walls were closing in on me and no way out, My only escape was suicide so I started researching methods and came to SS. The support and the community made me change from anti-suicide pro-choice as a result
 
BobbyPellitt

BobbyPellitt

Member
Sep 4, 2019
22
100
To communicate with like minded people, not those who pretend to understand what you're going through and give the same cliche answer "it's going to get better" or "just workout and pray to God". That, and also to find different methods of ctb and fatality rate
 
A

Aunt Paula

Member
Sep 7, 2019
7
37
51
My beautiful nephew CTB just a couple of weeks ago on Thursday, August 22nd by hanging, on his favourite walking trail. I am in a dark place right now, as I am filled with such regret. He cut me and his other family members off around May. In my case it was after he felt that I invalidated him in an email.

He had quit his job in another town and had moved in with his girlfriend. The only contact we had with him was through his girlfriend’s Facebook messenger. I was afraid of saying the wrong thing and even pushing her away. She assured me that he was safe, he was staying with her and together they were addressing his mental health issues. He loved her so much and she was so dedicated to him, I never thought that him ending his life would even be a possibility.

In those four months, he missed mother’s day, Father’s Day and his dad’s birthday (my brother who is otherwise alone). He also would not make contact with us after I begged through messages to girlfriend, when my dad (his grandfather) was very ill in the hospital and could have died.

A week before my nephew took his life, he did wrote to my mom after she threatened to his girlfriend to file a missing person’s report. He told her that my brother was a “psychopath” and that he couldn’t talk to me because all I did was invalidate him. He also said that every day for him was a “struggle to stay alive”. I didn’t even take that statement seriously because I thought he was being dramatic! I could have written to his girlfriend, begged for forgiveness! I could have told him that I was always here for support no matter what!

We were so afraid that he’d push my mom away the way he pushed me away, she wrote this response: “I’m so sorry you’ve been out through so much. Please know that I love you unconditionally and I will always be here for you.” He never responded to that message.

I don’t know how I’ll continue to live with the knowledge that he felt that way about me at the time that he left. My brother would have done absolutely anything for him. My mom never showed my brother that message. I guess the original question to this post was “why did you come to Sanctioned Suicide?” I guess I’m here because I want to understand. I want to understand why he did it, and maybe that he would have done it even if he hadn’t been angry with me.

As the days go on, I feel worse, and I feel
So responsible. According to the coroners report, the method was “quick with minimal pain.” I think that is the only thing I taking comfort in. He had obviously researched this well, to have executed it with such efficiency. Even after that note to my mom, his girlfriend had written my mom back telling her “he is taking charge of his mental help, under the care of a psychiatriat and I am Helping him do that. He is getting better by the day.” She promised me and my mom she would keep us updated. We had to find out about his suicide through a Facebook post! His mother didn’t want my brother to be at the funeral home and she didn’t want him to have ashes. She wanted to erase us.
 
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GemCami

GemCami

Incomplete
Sep 10, 2019
36
73
27
Canada
My beautiful nephew CTB just a couple of weeks ago on Thursday, August 22nd by hanging, on his favourite walking trail. I am in a dark place right now, as I am filled with such regret. He cut me and his other family members off around May. In my case it was after he felt that I invalidated him in an email. He had quit his job in another town and had moved in with his girlfriend. The only contact we had with him was through his girlfriend’s Facebook messenger. I was afraid of saying the wrong thing and even pushing her away. She assured me that he was safe, he was staying with her and together they were addressing his mental health issues. He loved her so much and she was so dedicated to him, I never thought that him ending his life would even be a possibility. In those four months, he missed mother’s day, Father’s Day and his dad’s birthday (my brother who is otherwise alone). He also would not make contact with us after I begged through messages to girlfriend, when my dad (his grandfather) was very ill in the hospital and could have died. A week before my nephew took his life, he did wrote to my mom after she threatened to his girlfriend to file a missing person’s report. He told her that my brother was a “psychopath” and that he couldn’t talk to me because all I did was invalidate him. He also said that every day for him was a “struggle to stay alive”. I didn’t even take that statement seriously because I thought he was being dramatic! I could have written to his girlfriend, begged for forgiveness! I could have told him that I was always here for support no matter what! We were so afraid that he’d push my mom away the way he pushed me away, she wrote this response: “I’m so sorry you’ve been out through so much. Please know that I love you unconditionally and I will always be here for you.” He never responded to that message. I don’t know how I’ll continue to live with the knowledge that he felt that way about me at the time that he left. My brother would have done absolutely anything for him. My mom never showed my brother that message. I guess the original question to this post was “why did you come to Sanctioned Suicide?” I guess I’m here because I want to understand. I want to understand why he did it, and maybe that he would have done it even if he hadn’t been angry with me. As the days go on, I feel worse, and I feel
So responsible. According to the coroners report, the method was “quick with minimal pain.” I think that is the only thing I taking comfort in. He had obviously researched this well, to have executed it with such efficiency.
Unfortunately, its once its too late that the world realizes thier mistake. It was not your fault tho. When you are in such tremendous pain that the only answer is to shut off life, it would take something beyond drastic or literally impossible to change the situation. Dont be selfish and think of your loss, know that you will meet in the same place one day, and that he is no longer sufferring and is free. This world just isnt made for some of us.
 
heartless_95

heartless_95

In the bleak midwinter ..
Sep 3, 2019
19
36
I came here because, like many others wanted to find people who are non-judgemental and understanding of my feelings as well as methods to keep on the back burner in case things go truly out of control. It isn't my wish for this to come true but such as life may be, we can find ourselves truly helpless. Life can be unforgiving.
 
Rachel74

Rachel74

Wise
Sep 7, 2019
274
450
44
United Kingdom
As strange as it is. Just being here makes me kinda tolerate life.
I really get that. I honestly was scared to join here but I’m glad I did. If my words help someone then that makes me happy. There are some lovely people on here and reading some of the threads it shows through.
I’ve also outgrown other support groups for bipolar who won’t allow you to mention suicide.
 
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