What do you think others say about you?

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cryptic__egg

cryptic__egg

Specialist
May 9, 2020
370
3,049
I know using others to judge your self worth is not healthy, but we're social animals and I can't help it. What are other people saying about you? If someone has to describe what you're like to someone what do they say? I always wonder what kind of impact I've had on people and what they would say when talking about me. Some people are just great to be with and whenever they're brought up in conversation nice things are said about them. It would be nice to be one of those people.
 
illbeinthegarage

illbeinthegarage

Veteran
Jun 14, 2020
103
372
UK
i have no idea. i will always think the worst and that what people think or say about me is the same as i say and think about myself. i see posts from people about @Moonicide for example and how much they saw her as a light and i wish i was thought about like that. i know however that im not, im most likely despised by people in real life and probably on this forum too.
 
cryptic__egg

cryptic__egg

Specialist
May 9, 2020
370
3,049
i have no idea. i will always think the worst and that what people think or say about me is the same as i say and think about myself. i see posts from people about @Moonicide for example and how much they saw her as a light and i wish i was thought about like that. i know however that im not, im most likely despised by people in real life and probably on this forum too.
I'm hated by at least 85% of the people I've interacted with in my life online and offline so can relate tbh. I hope I've made at least one person a little happier at some point though.
 
illbeinthegarage

illbeinthegarage

Veteran
Jun 14, 2020
103
372
UK
I'm hated by at least 85% of the people I've interacted with in my life online and offline so can relate tbh. I hope I've made at least one person a little happier at some point though.
you've made me happy before. i remember when i got access to the chat for the first time and i talked to you for the first time. you made me smile and we joked about me being an alpha male and that everyone in the chat was male. i know it all went downhill in there but it hasn't made me forget any sort of a giggle you gave me x
 
GoodPersonEffed

GoodPersonEffed

Ain't it all just ridiculous?
Jan 11, 2020
4,084
8,377
It doesn't matter so much to me what people say but who's saying it. If I respect them and value their opinion, then I can grow from it, either from having pointed out to me what doesn't serve me, or having what's beneficial receive encouragement, reinforcement and bolstering.

If they're not someone I respect or admire, then their opinions mean very little. I'll search for the truth even if I don't like how it's presented, and discard the rest. If someone who treats me with disdain or disrespect says they like me, then it's a love bomb to try to draw me out to be vulnerable to them, so I know to create more distance.

I'd rather be worthy of respect and disliked than loved and not respected. I don't want admiration to puff up my ego. My self-worth is only bolstered when it comes from those who appreciate what is worthy, or give me an opportunity to connect with my values, even if doing so is because I reject what they're trying to put on (and in) me. Social animals need these things. To me, it's not about getting my worth from others' judgment, but having it supported and enhanced by valuable and accurate reflections, because it's hard to see ourselves clearly, and others can help with that, or they can do harm. What's important to me is to have discernment first about who's doing the reflecting before taking it in. They don't get to define me, only help me define myself more clearly so that I can know what is my true self-worth.
 
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SuicidalSymphonies

SuicidalSymphonies

I think I'll take a dirt nap.
Oct 13, 2019
883
2,127
23
Elseweyr
Things I know have been said about me and still are: slut, whore, backstabber, bitch, cunt, useless, been called a cheater.. All kinds of things.
As for what I don't know, but assume: They talk about how they don't actually like me, they talk about my insecurities and judge me based on that.

I'm fairly paranoid and I think a lot of that contributed to it.

Love to you. x
 
TheSoulless

TheSoulless

Perpetual idiot
Jan 7, 2020
549
774
unknown
I know for a fact that they hate me and talk shit about me behind my back. For a reason too. Currently learning to not care because fuck them. I hope a soon-to-arrive environment change helps with that.
 
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Pryras

Pryras

...last resort
Feb 11, 2020
383
1,000
23
Canada
It depends on who is saying it. I’m sure it’s a mixed bag of some compliments and some hate.

“She has nice style”
“She’s so nice and innocent”

“She’s so dramatic”
“I don’t like her, she’s too emotional”
“Oh her? Yeah she’s a bitch” - some dude
 
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cryptic__egg

cryptic__egg

Specialist
May 9, 2020
370
3,049
I don't think I cross anyone's mind.
Same tbh, I practically have to pester people to stop them from forgetting that I exist.
I know for a fact that they hate me and talk shit about me behind my back. For a reason too. Currently learning to not care because fuck them. I hope a soon-to-arrive environment change helps with that.
Been through this at some points, if you find a way to not let it hurt you please let me know lol I need it
 
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Cashewmilk

Cashewmilk

Wise
Mar 10, 2020
252
508
I already know. They would say I'm crazy, depressed, lazy, useless, weird, not responsible or reliable, a whore, a druggy, good for nothing etc. The great thing is that I don't care :)):)):)) I learned a long time ago that the only thing that matters is what I think, nobody knows me like I do, so no one can judge (that's why they say "only god can judge you" even though I am not religious or believe in gods, but I agree with the message). And I don't have to listen to what others say or think, at the end of the day, it's only me and my conscience that I have to live with. No one elses, I'm a bit solipsistic like that... I tend to view everything from my perspective because that's all I've got. I can only hear my thoughts, I can't hear other people's thoughts and what they're thinking, or what they're experiencing. They can say whatever they want all day long, I only know me, and luckily I don't have to hear it. I can just ignore it. It helps that I'm anti social and don't talk to people except my immediate family, and I don't need to socialize with other people.

The way I see it, other people's opinions don't matter. Unless they're controlling my life and my thoughts, it's just jibberish. I see the entire planet as one insignificant speck, and we're all insignificant dust particles. I'm so thankful for my enlightenment, I'm so relieved that I'm ME and I know the things I know. I would hate to be a robotic wage slave breeder like literally 99% of humanity. I've been there, done that, got it out of my system and I have no need for many of the things that most people want.

And if anyone who knows me from childhood or highschool etc, and they're still thinking about me, even negatively, I should be flattered that anyone even still cares to give me a thought haha! I clearly made an impression on them if they're thinking or dreaming about me almost 20 years later.

Its hard to explain, but I have been through so much excruciating, traumatic, agonizing hellish pain in my life - physical and mental, that the last thing I would care about during those moments and hours of excruciating pain is what other people think of me. The pain I have been through is so severe that I even didn't care about money, or ANYTHING except wanting the pain to go away. That's all I want, is to not be in pain anymore and to be content and at peace, to hell with petty gossip stuff and people I don't even know or care about. We humans have been around for thousands of years and billions of people, seriously who cares, there is so much more to life than worrying about that. Life is so much bigger and full of wonder, I just can't care what some little mortal useless disgusting humans are thinking. I call them disgusting because everyone who knows me is a dumb racist barbaric obnoxious selfish sociopathic vulture (see I can find lots of things to say about thousands of people lol), that's literally what I grew up around and live with - it took a lot of strength to cleanse myself of their toxic culture. I come from a culture that uses the caste system, and that teaches hate (Islam) it's very toxic and abusive, I was lucky to be born and grow up in Canada though.

One more thing, I also look at life really differently. Most people view life as extremely important and their reputation is the top priority. I'm like fuck it, why does it matter? We're going to die anyway one day so really nothing matters. I also don't believe in an afterlife or eternal consciousness, so that also helps. Sorry for my long post I just hope I can help someone with my thoughts :happy:
 
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Nyxx33

Nyxx33

Member
May 8, 2020
74
232
I had a friend tell me recently after I shared something with her (don’t remember what) that I was feeling shame for, “my opinion of you is none of your business” which sounds harsh but she said it in a playful tone.. and there’s truth to it. people gonna judge. all you can do I guess is try to not repeat mistakes that you know hurt others. but you can’t really control how people see you. I’ve been confused by people that love me flaws and all, but also have had people not like me and cut me out of their life (which hurts but makes more sense than loving me). students that thought I was awesome and students that disliked me and found me ineffective. so yea. there’s a million versions and interpretations of who we are out there.
 
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Close_to_freedom

Close_to_freedom

Why the long face? Cause I don’t wanna live here.
May 19, 2020
424
762
Some would say I’m good, thoughtful, and considerate. They don’t realize I only do it to avoid problems.

Others would say I’m self absorbed and selfish. Fuck em
 
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socrates

socrates

I know nothing except the fact of my ignorance.
Dec 3, 2019
49
136
Olympus
I guess that I'm a looser or a waist of space or a bad person. I don't think about specially what others are thinking, but just that it is bad.
 
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F

Fullof pain

Member
Jul 1, 2020
35
52
Honestly, I don't care what anyone else thinks about me. To care about other people's perceptions of you is to travel down a path of self doubt and insecurity. All that matters is that at the end of the day I am answerable to my own conscience. And if I know that I have tried my best, to be the best I can be and have inflicted no pain or suffering on to someone else. Then my conscience is at peace.
 
Mr2005

Mr2005

Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
Sep 25, 2018
2,426
9,207
33
UK
They go to discord to talk about me. I'd rather they just told me. Like it makes any difference to me. They might think their opinion is fact but it isn't. I have more reason to hate myself based on facts which they haven't a clue about because they're not interested. What hurts is people pretending to like you when they don't. That's betrayal
 
cryptic__egg

cryptic__egg

Specialist
May 9, 2020
370
3,049
They go to discord to talk about me. I'd rather they just told me. Like it makes any difference to me. They might think their opinion is fact but it isn't. I have more reason to hate myself based on facts which they haven't a clue about because they're not interested. What hurts is people pretending to like you when they don't. That's betrayal
Agreed, I can take people hating me. Most people hate me and that's fine. What I hate is realising that the people that do say they like me can so quickly turn to hate me just because they're speaking to someone else. Guess my friendship is a lot less valuable to them than other people's.
Annoying, inappropriate, neurotic, angry, over-sensitive, tiring, difficult, embarrassing
Painfully relatable
 
cryptic__egg

cryptic__egg

Specialist
May 9, 2020
370
3,049
Very quiet loser that is useless ,worthless and weird.:meh:

Oh well. I can't stand most people anyway.:blarg:
After falling out with a load of friends irl and being kicked out of their little group they said stuff like that about me. One of them said they were only friends with me out of pity because I was a loser. I'm constantly described as quiet and weird.
 
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deadgirlahsatan

deadgirlahsatan

Member
Jun 5, 2020
35
72
Canada
After falling out with a load of friends irl and being kicked out of their little group they said stuff like that about me. One of them said they were only friends with me out of pity because I was a loser. I'm constantly described as quiet and weird.
So sorry u went through that.

Yes i understand. i had some friends that didn't want to be friends anymore with me when i was really young because i am quiet and weird.

Even online that has happened.
 
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cryptic__egg

cryptic__egg

Specialist
May 9, 2020
370
3,049
So sorry u went through that.

Yes i understand. i had some friends that didn't want to be friends anymore with me when i was really young because i am quiet and weird.

Even online that has happened.
It's a vicious cycle too, because the less I talk to people the less I feel comfortable talking to them, and the more quiet and awkward I become. Someone just be my friend pls I'm not that bad lol
 
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