[Discussion] Ways to decrease and circumvent Suvival Instinct

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Dawn0071111

Dawn0071111

Hungry Ghost
Dec 9, 2018
575
1,301
Somewhere Over The Rainbow
Survival Instinct. Thanks to evolution, this pesky mechanism interferes with resolve to CTB and may sabotage the event even when mind is made up. Its a mind game IMO.

I have found that I have to keep the planning going.... otherwise I get stuck in a no mans land of niether here nor there...

What is working for me is to deliberately xpose myself to my PTSD triggers, thus re traumatizing myself into a state where my SI get supressed. It works pretty well...

What might work for you to curb the SI?
 
L

lotus11

Member
May 18, 2019
33
67
following... I just want to die but I CANNOT get over the survival instinct. ive tried hanging but I just cant.....maybe if I had N could be easier who knows. But i feel so trapped in this world, all i want is to leave and I cant manage it
 
I

I screwed up

Member
Sep 11, 2019
47
38
True .... Si really sucks ... Specially when ur method is jumping or hanging. Can't get over the feeling .. Probably alcohol and some Valium might help... SI also keeps me from making my mind up in terms of the method to ctb, every time I make up my mind on a method it just sets in and confuses me even further and I procrastinate
I dream of getting a gun and shooting myself or hire someone to do it with me blindfolded or sleeping
 
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Soulless_Angel

Soulless_Angel

self destruct activated
Jul 10, 2019
269
542
F**k Knows
I got over SI easily, a) rum did help, but b) in the hour running up to the moment, my mind just kept replaying how shit everything was, reminded me of everything that went wrong, the abuse the pain, SI tried kicking with good times, but I can count on my fingers those, over all the pain won, sadly cops ninja styling pulling me off a bridge was the only thing that stopped me going off fully
 
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A

Amz_Falls

Veteran
Aug 23, 2019
142
442
Sounds stupid but I through my phone off the bridge before I jumped...
 
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A

Amz_Falls

Veteran
Aug 23, 2019
142
442
Not stupid at all!! For most modern people our LIFE IS OUR SMARTPHONE. To yoss the cellphone to me would be a sure indication of the end.... The only tragedy here is failure or not being able to follow through after loss of the phone....
Ironically my phone didn’t even get a scratch unlike my smashed up body!
 
Elias

Elias

Oh, hello there.
Mar 19, 2019
135
829
25
A pale blue dot
Triggering the PTSD is a tricky one. I tried that to "psych myself up" and decide if I was ready but it has a little problem... See, I was in a fight or flight situation when it happened and the SI kicked into overdrive at that moment. Everytime I'm reminded of the event, I cling to life, I call friends, I want to be comforted and surviving.

Now, I think in order to circumvent the SI, the state of mind before the act should be at the opposite of what we're expecting. If you're drinking a poison, tricking the mind into seeing this act as innocuous as drinking a juice. In a way, after you've thought thoroughly on your method and reflected on your life beforehand, I think you need to be in the state of mind where you don't take the act itself seriously. "I'm gonna drink this and sleep, forever" "I'm gonna turn on my CO generator and sleep".

Maybe we should focus on the acts we already know, like drinking, sleeping, and act naturally. We're going to sleep after all, just this one doesn't have a waking up phase. Now of course if you're an anxiety machine like me, well... Easier said than done. Also if the method is rather violent (hanging, gun, jumping), I imagine it takes either an enormous amount of courage or you trap yourself so you don't have another choice.

Yeah, the SI as well as hope are 2 of my mortal (hehe maybe "un-mortal") enemies.
 
D

Death_is_Escape

Member
Jul 26, 2019
98
106
Different strokes for different folks: I traveled more than most AND am a History buff: each of these should transform any person into an Efilist, antinatalist and Atheist! Pfft!!!:angry::mmm:
 
seekingoblivion

seekingoblivion

Master
Dec 11, 2018
426
1,044
Ironically my phone didn’t even get a scratch unlike my smashed up body!
May I ask what it felt like falling? Also Did you fall unconscious when you landed? From how high did you fall? What type of surface did you land on? And most importantly: what phone were you using??
 
A

Amz_Falls

Veteran
Aug 23, 2019
142
442
if that was an expensive phone I can imagine thinking...s hiiiiiittttt I need that back... short cut here we go!
May I ask what it felt like falling? Also Did you fall unconscious when you landed? From how high did you fall? What type of surface did you land on? And most importantly: what phone were you using??
I jumped from 25m onto the roads below. I was conscious the whole time until I was intubated. Surreal is probably the most accurate word to describe it. It’s really hard to describe. Those first few moments on the ground also felt incredibly surreal. No noise, no pain just remember my cheek on the tarmac looking across the road. Then reality kicked in like a mother fucker...
I jumped from 25m onto the roads below. I was conscious the whole time until I was intubated. Surreal is probably the most accurate word to describe it. It’s really hard to describe. Those first few moments on the ground also felt incredibly surreal. No noise, no pain just remember my cheek on the tarmac looking across the road. Then reality kicked in like a mother fucker...
Oh an it was an iPhone! Not a scratch. I have however dropped it off my bed since being in hospital and shattered the screen. Karma!
 
Morphosis

Morphosis

Member
Sep 22, 2019
47
43
I jumped from 25m onto the roads below. I was conscious the whole time until I was intubated. Surreal is probably the most accurate word to describe it. It’s really hard to describe. Those first few moments on the ground also felt incredibly surreal. No noise, no pain just remember my cheek on the tarmac looking across the road. Then reality kicked in like a mother fucker...


Oh an it was an iPhone! Not a scratch. I have however dropped it off my bed since being in hospital and shattered the screen. Karma!
OMG you're so brave to have actually jumped. Did you have spinal injuries or anything? Lots of fractures I'm sure?
Lol re phone, I've just had my iPhone repaired and dropped the fucking thing again 2 days later, screen smashed to smithereens both times
 
Morphosis

Morphosis

Member
Sep 22, 2019
47
43
I jumped from 25m onto the roads below. I was conscious the whole time until I was intubated. Surreal is probably the most accurate word to describe it. It’s really hard to describe. Those first few moments on the ground also felt incredibly surreal. No noise, no pain just remember my cheek on the tarmac looking across the road. Then reality kicked in like a mother fucker...


Oh an it was an iPhone! Not a scratch. I have however dropped it off my bed since being in hospital and shattered
Yeah two spinal fractures, pelvis, femur, legs, ankles, sacral, spleen, pancreas, stomach, pneumothorax..you get the idea!
OUCH God you poor soul. After being brave enough to take that leap, I'm just in awe you did that but what a fucking nightmare to live through all those injuries
 
A

AsexualBarbieBoy

Member
Jun 7, 2019
84
211
Struggling with SI right now. It truly is the worst torture. My life is breaking down around me, I feel torturous inside, the means to end it are in my possession and yet I can't do it. It actually feels like a third party is preventing me from sending the impulses to my hands. Why am I being forced to endure this agony?
 
Y

Yorkshire91

Member
Aug 30, 2019
84
151
28
Struggling with SI right now. It truly is the worst torture. My life is breaking down around me, I feel torturous inside, the means to end it are in my possession and yet I can't do it. It actually feels like a third party is preventing me from sending the impulses to my hands. Why am I being forced to endure this agony?
I found alcohol helped me massively suppose it all depends on which method you are going for.
 
seekingoblivion

seekingoblivion

Master
Dec 11, 2018
426
1,044
I jumped from 25m onto the roads below. I was conscious the whole time until I was intubated. Surreal is probably the most accurate word to describe it. It’s really hard to describe. Those first few moments on the ground also felt incredibly surreal. No noise, no pain just remember my cheek on the tarmac looking across the road. Then reality kicked in like a mother fucker...


Oh an it was an iPhone! Not a scratch. I have however dropped it off my bed since being in hospital and shattered the screen. Karma!
Damn I can't imagine the emotional discomfort you were in while you were going for it. And the physical discomfort(pain) you endured after. How are you doing now?


It's incredible how a seemingly massive fall can leave a phone unscathed yet a 12 inch drop can render it useless. I have experienced that many times. And funny enough my phone survives falls better without a screen protector than it did with.
 
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Dawn0071111

Dawn0071111

Hungry Ghost
Dec 9, 2018
575
1,301
Somewhere Over The Rainbow
Struggling with SI right now. It truly is the worst torture. My life is breaking down around me, I feel torturous inside, the means to end it are in my possession and yet I can't do it. It actually feels like a third party is preventing me from sending the impulses to my hands. Why am I being forced to endure this agony?
I hear you, the species wants us here. .. it can be a really strong force... even in the face of extreme suffering. Perhaps even more so then which makes it worse for us.
 
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White_Room293

White_Room293

rapid cycling gay guy
Sep 13, 2019
144
125
United States
Survival Instinct. Thanks to evolution, this pesky mechanism interferes with resolve to CTB and may sabotage the event even when mind is made up. Its a mind game IMO.

I have found that I have to keep the planning going.... otherwise I get stuck in a no mans land of niether here nor there...

What is working for me is to deliberately xpose myself to my PTSD triggers, thus re traumatizing myself into a state where my SI get supressed. It works pretty well...

What might work for you to curb the SI?
You can use the nitrogen, SN with benzos, or the heroin method
 
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C

Cook

Member
Oct 2, 2019
58
17
I’ve picked a spot to jump, it’s 252 feet. Wondering if a little tree in the map would buffer the fall....
 
ThatIsTheQuestion

ThatIsTheQuestion

Member
Aug 4, 2019
53
110
Depends on the method. I'd have to be extremely drunk to jump or pull the trigger. Something like N or F would take care of itself - I already have an addictive personality so I'd look forward to the getting high part too much to care about the dying part. But I can only afford SN, and you can't drink with that, so I'll have to use medical weed and hopefully some darknet benzos. Otherwise I think there's just a line you have to cross and you can't cross it until you get to it. SI isn't something you can reliably plan your way around. It's why no more than 1 in 8 suicide attempts ends in death. Shit's harder than it looks.
 
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J

justanotherday

Wise
Jul 22, 2019
268
368
USA
Survival Instinct. Thanks to evolution, this pesky mechanism interferes with resolve to CTB and may sabotage the event even when mind is made up. Its a mind game IMO.

I have found that I have to keep the planning going.... otherwise I get stuck in a no mans land of niether here nor there...

What is working for me is to deliberately xpose myself to my PTSD triggers, thus re traumatizing myself into a state where my SI get supressed. It works pretty well...

What might work for you to curb the SI?
Getting rid of phone, of putting it up where you cannot get to it. The phone was what caused me to be " saved", and I did not want to be saved.
 
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