Water is wet, but pro-lifers are really tiring

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M

millefeui

-
Mar 31, 2018
1,038
5,285
It is a bit suffocating that I can't talk about my desire for death and how much peace it actually brings to my otherwise shitshow of a life, because I will be bombarded by pro-lifers messaging me and bugging me about how they want to help, how life is beautiful, how things will certainly change for the better, and all the usual shit they love to throw at suicidal people.

Sometimes I want to post my suicidal thoughts under my main internet alias so badly, but that would be super foolish. I am by no means a super popular person on the internet, but my name is known in so many places. I know I would cause problems that I would be unable to solve later if I did that. Also, even if someone isn't known, a bunch of random dipshits will try to "help" you, anyways.

I am not the kind of woman to bitch about freedom of speech, because such concept is a two-edged sword, but geez, I wish I didn't have to hide to talk about my wish for death.
 
Sonnenblume

Sonnenblume

Sunflower Panda
Apr 6, 2018
588
1,749
It is a bit suffocating that I can't talk about my desire for death and how much peace it actually brings to my otherwise shitshow of a life, because I will be bombarded by pro-lifers messaging me and bugging me about how they want to help, how life is beautiful, how things will certainly change for the better, and all the usual shit they love to throw at suicidal people.

Sometimes I want to post my suicidal thoughts under my main internet alias so badly, but that would be super foolish. I am by no means a super popular person on the internet, but my name is known in so many places. I know I would cause problems that I would be unable to solve later if I did that. Also, even if someone isn't known, a bunch of random dipshits will try to "help" you, anyways.

I am not the kind of woman to bitch about freedom of speech, because such concept is a two-edged sword, but geez, I wish I didn't have to hide to talk about my wish for death.
Yeah that's why I drove everyone out of my life, just can't stand any more of this pollyana bullshit. Don't want to risk some twat calling the police on me again either. It'd be nice to have someone IRL to talk to about it, or well they don't even have to talk, just be a bit understanding. But people are fanatic quasi-religious nuts that'll smash you into the ground if you dare go against their belief systems, especially if they are part of the majority, or question life at all.
 
L

Life sucks

Illuminated
Apr 18, 2018
1,194
4,082
I'm almost completely isolated. Other people who know me just want me to be crushed by the life brutal systems. They don't care about me or my problems just want me to be a normie like them and be crushed by the useless jobs and useless lifestyle while I suffer from pain. I don't talk to anyone and I'm trapped in this damn life. I do feel suffocated because nobody will listen and I can't or don't know how to end my life. I'm really tired and had enough.
 
M

Machonne

Member
Apr 25, 2018
78
110
It is a bit suffocating that I can't talk about my desire for death and how much peace it actually brings to my otherwise shitshow of a life, because I will be bombarded by pro-lifers messaging me and bugging me about how they want to help, how life is beautiful, how things will certainly change for the better, and all the usual shit they love to throw at suicidal people.
Some people have a beautiful life, some don't, no matter how much they try. People are just closed minded if they think all life is beautiful. Maybe to them it is, but they are not the ones who have to live it. Try to tell them that...may as well beat your head against a brick wall. Better just to hide.

And what about the people who say "I could never kill myself"? Well guess what, there is no law that says you have to, but let the rest of us ALSO make our own decisions about our own life.
 
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FullFat

FullFat

^best order at Micky-D's ever
Apr 27, 2018
378
1,024
I also hate that I have to hide it. This website and Reddit really provide a necessary outlet. I can't talk about it to my family for obvious reasons. I also hide it from my best friend because I don't wish to trigger ideation in her, as she has had her own brushes with suicide attempts. She also specifically asked me not to talk about it. I was disappointed, but I understand why.

There was only one person with whom I was able talk openly and frankly. She is a very unique person though with a very messed up life. I couldn't tell whether talking to me was healthy for her or not. I tend to think that encouraging her to dwell, albeit passively, on the shittiness of life couldn't have been helpful, but she is also the kind of person who likes taking care of people. I really wish I had gotten to know her better before I had to move out of state.
 
M

MAIO

Ascended
Apr 8, 2018
805
2,401
It is a bit suffocating that I can't talk about my desire for death and how much peace it actually brings to my otherwise shitshow of a life, because I will be bombarded by pro-lifers messaging me and bugging me about how they want to help, how life is beautiful, how things will certainly change for the better, and all the usual shit they love to throw at suicidal people.

Sometimes I want to post my suicidal thoughts under my main internet alias so badly, but that would be super foolish. I am by no means a super popular person on the internet, but my name is known in so many places. I know I would cause problems that I would be unable to solve later if I did that. Also, even if someone isn't known, a bunch of random dipshits will try to "help" you, anyways.

I am not the kind of woman to bitch about freedom of speech, because such concept is a two-edged sword, but geez, I wish I didn't have to hide to talk about my wish for death.
Don't forget their attempts to make you feel guilty for feeling the way you do, making them feel better than you want to die ect.
 
M

MAIO

Ascended
Apr 8, 2018
805
2,401
Yeah that's why I drove everyone out of my life, just can't stand any more of this pollyana bullshit. Don't want to risk some twat calling the police on me again either. It'd be nice to have someone IRL to talk to about it, or well they don't even have to talk, just be a bit understanding. But people are fanatic quasi-religious nuts that'll smash you into the ground if you dare go against their belief systems, especially if they are part of the majority, or question life at all.
I talked to my liberal gay brother with a dr. Degree about how I am pro-choice and he called the cops on me saying I sent him a text send a suicide note. I sent him a message on facebook, not a text just saying the logic behind pro choice ect, nothing whatsoever about me wanting to commit suicide or even havign suicidal thoughts. So after that I confronted him, he tries to make me apologize for being pro choice so I permently blocked him on all accounts ect.
 
M

Machonne

Member
Apr 25, 2018
78
110
Sometimes our true feelings can show through when we don't mean for them to. I am not saying that for sure happened, just to be careful how you word things.I think saying nothing is the best bet, unless the person has no idea where you live and no way to find you.
 
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Sonnenblume

Sonnenblume

Sunflower Panda
Apr 6, 2018
588
1,749
I got the cops called on me by a former asshole friend. Best to just say nothing, unfortunately.
 
Squidward

Squidward

*
Apr 18, 2018
63
139
I talked to my liberal gay brother with a dr. Degree about how I am pro-choice and he called the cops on me saying I sent him a text send a suicide note. I sent him a message on facebook, not a text just saying the logic behind pro choice ect, nothing whatsoever about me wanting to commit suicide or even havign suicidal thoughts. So after that I confronted him, he tries to make me apologize for being pro choice so I permently blocked him on all accounts ect.
Wow that's so shitty. It's one thing when they think they're being helpful, but to use the systems and stigma currently surrounding suicide to shut down an opinion is some blatant fuckery.

And the self righteous cunts want to accuse us of taking an "easy way out."
 
Sonnenblume

Sonnenblume

Sunflower Panda
Apr 6, 2018
588
1,749
Wow that's so shitty. It's one thing when they think they're being helpful, but to use the systems and stigma currently surrounding suicide to shut down an opinion is some blatant fuckery.

And the self righteous cunts want to accuse us of taking an "easy way out."
I had something similar to this happen. I didn't even say I was planning on suicide. I just said something like it'd be good to be dead and that ended up with cops at my door. Then my asshole friends made me apologize to them. People are truly sacks of crap. You can't have an opinion in this country.
 
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Asylla

Asylla

Member
Apr 16, 2018
34
166
I talked to my liberal gay brother with a dr. Degree about how I am pro-choice and he called the cops on me
I got the cops called on me by a former asshole friend.
Having your friends or family turn on you must suck. It's a shame that most people seem to have been brainwashed into thinking that this is the right thing to do.

The worst part is that people will try to help you even if they don't care about you on a personal level. This is probably due to psychological complexes such as the messiah/savior complex. Sometime people will try to help you because they unconsciously want to feel better about themselves.
 
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Sonnenblume

Sonnenblume

Sunflower Panda
Apr 6, 2018
588
1,749
Having your friends or family turn on you must suck. It's a shame that most people seem to have been brainwashed into thinking that this is the right thing to do.

The worst part is that people will try to help you even if they don't care about you on a personal level. This is probably due to psychological complexes such as the messiah/savior complex. Sometime people will try to help you because they unconsciously want to feel better about themselves.
Most people want to "help" because it's a way for them to feel superior and pretend they are decent at the same time.
 
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M

MAIO

Ascended
Apr 8, 2018
805
2,401
Sometimes our true feelings can show through when we don't mean for them to. I am not saying that for sure happened, just to be careful how you word things.I think saying nothing is the best bet, unless the person has no idea where you live and no way to find you.
I was pretty careful with the way I worded things. I read what I send him multiple times after and even showed my friend afterwards, who agreed with me. What really pissed me off is from this one message, he also told everyone in our family for no real reason (I don't like them or talk to any of them really.) Who all insisted I had to make them feel better, apologize etc. Instead I texted them back, I was doing well and cut off all communication. The situation was to ridiculous for me to take serious. For the next 60 days I had a text everyday from my mom about how much she and God loves me. Which just felt very annoying I wish I could stop getting her to spam my number 1) I have been an agnostic since I have been 8 but she has always insisted because I was a christian at 6 I still am. 2) I don't feel close to her at all and really don't see why I should care that she loves me. It all came from her messiah complex thing. I will probably kill myself, because I think death is the better option not for any other reason. Maybe I would want contact, if she did not support her boyfriend beating me everyday growing up or if she did not lie about being raped etc. Honestly still probably not thought
 
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M

MAIO

Ascended
Apr 8, 2018
805
2,401
Wow that's so shitty. It's one thing when they think they're being helpful, but to use the systems and stigma currently surrounding suicide to shut down an opinion is some blatant fuckery.

And the self righteous cunts want to accuse us of taking an "easy way out."
I like taking the easy way out of things and that is usually the best option. It called working smart instead of hard.
 
El Topo

El Topo

(---)
Apr 21, 2018
480
1,242
I actually have one friend who doesn't judge me for wanting self-deliverance. I've been disabled for over 10 years (since age 23), and I pretty much have no external life. My friend is autistic, and although I don't know what it's like being autistic, supposedly they process emotions differently than neurotypical people. The last time we saw each other, a few years ago, he actually brought up the topic.

He just point-blank asked, "Have you thought about euthanasia?" And when I said, "Yes, of course," he nodded his head, like he sort of understood. That meant so much to me; he's the only person who didn't judge me for saying that.

We were college roommates, and we're not super-close anymore, but he's the only person I would consider telling before I self-deliver. I might even ask him to be there when I do it, so I don't have to die alone.
 
M

millefeui

-
Mar 31, 2018
1,038
5,285
I actually have one friend who doesn't judge me for wanting self-deliverance. I've been disabled for over 10 years (since age 23), and I pretty much have no external life. My friend is autistic, and although I don't know what it's like being autistic, supposedly they process emotions differently than neurotypical people. The last time we saw each other, a few years ago, he actually brought up the topic.

He just point-blank asked, "Have you thought about euthanasia?" And when I said, "Yes, of course," he nodded his head, like he sort of understood. That meant so much to me; he's the only person who didn't judge me for saying that.

We were college roommates, and we're not super-close anymore, but he's the only person I would consider telling before I self-deliver. I might even ask him to be there when I do it, so I don't have to die alone.
I also have a friend that respects my desire, although he doesn't hide the fact he would prefer a scenario where I stayed alive.