Unable to try a 3rd time

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drivas0618

Member
Apr 16, 2020
5
10
I've tried partial hanging twice before, failed both times due to SI. I had no issue attempting to CBT and its been about a month since my last attempt. Every day I get the belt ready and thats it... I keep putting it off... I really do want to CBT, everyday is just filled with anger, pain, sadness and tears. I bought alcohol to lower my inhibitions and its just sitting in the fridge, not one sip taken...

Why am I unable to try a third time? Nothings changed so why can't I just get it over with?
 
KiraComplex

KiraComplex

Cream Soda
Aug 31, 2019
100
168
I've tried partial hanging twice before, failed both times due to SI. I had no issue attempting to CBT and its been about a month since my last attempt. Every day I get the belt ready and thats it... I keep putting it off... I really do want to CBT, everyday is just filled with anger, pain, sadness and tears. I bought alcohol to lower my inhibitions and its just sitting in the fridge, not one sip taken...

Why am I unable to try a third time? Nothings changed so why can't I just get it over with?
maybe its something you have yet to fulfill? or something that makes this parting unsatisfactory.
 
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drivas0618

Member
Apr 16, 2020
5
10
maybe its something you have yet to fulfill? or something that makes this parting unsatisfactory.

Not really, I lost both my daughter and SO and uh.... yea... that just plagues me all day and night. Apartment is too quiet, need constant noise even to fall asleep. Movies are hard to watch, id watch em with my daughter and now watching movies just isn't doable. Miss my SO, little simple things remind me of her.

If theres a heaven, I pray to God he forgives me, and I can be with my girls in my own little paradise.
 
KiraComplex

KiraComplex

Cream Soda
Aug 31, 2019
100
168
Not really, I lost both my daughter and SO and uh.... yea... that just plagues me all day and night. Apartment is too quiet, need constant noise even to fall asleep. Movies are hard to watch, id watch em with my daughter and now watching movies just isn't doable. Miss my SO, little simple things remind me of her.

If theres a heaven, I pray to God he forgives me, and I can be with my girls in my own little paradise.
thats heartbreaking. im sorry.