[Venting] Today was horrible.

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shallowdagger

Member
Mar 19, 2018
5
24
I went to university, and the professor picked me out of everyone else to talk to the class about the day's topic.

Totally unprepared, I started sweating and mumbling, people started laughing a bit, then I of course get even more nervous and the laughing intensifies! It was like a feedback loop, and by the end my legs were shaking and I had to go take a seat again with the professor looking at me like I was so pitiable.

This is just one example of why I hate my life. It may not be too long before I end it, I can't keep living like this.
 
Athelvete

Athelvete

Member
Mar 19, 2018
8
23
I see a lot of university students feeling like absolute shit. Back on SS, SW and pretty much everywhere. It's like the environment breeds death.

Do you think your problems are caused by school or is school fueling underlying problems?

I can't bring myself to university because of that very thing. Public speaking is my nightmare.
 
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shallowdagger

Member
Mar 19, 2018
5
24
I see a lot of university students feeling like absolute shit. Back on SS, SW and pretty much everywhere. It's like the environment breeds death.

Do you think your problems are caused by school or is school fueling underlying problems?

I can't bring myself to university because of that very thing. Public speaking is my nightmare.
Yeah, i get you. It could be both things, it's something that piles on to the already big list of problems in my life, and it also fuels as you said the problems that are already there.

Public speaking isn't exactly the problem for me, but i was rather just taken by surprise, and being shy alongside not knowing anyone in my class yet (i probably won't ever know them too well) made me end up in that situation.

Univerity can be hell, truly, if the right conditions are met.
 
Athelvete

Athelvete

Member
Mar 19, 2018
8
23
Univerity can be hell, truly, if the right conditions are met.
Yeah school is killing. So many suicides and even shootings because of that unhealthy environment and often sociopathic social structure.

Try to think ahead about the whole university thing, you're there to prepare for the future not for some Battle Royale style social-survival. (I've never been to uni so I guess I'm talking out of my ass. I draw parallels from my Gymnasium/college-experience though.)

On a smaller note I'm sure the folks in the crowd didn't really think much of it, people being unprepared is common. Can still make oneself feel like an exposed ass though.
 
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shallowdagger

Member
Mar 19, 2018
5
24
Try to think ahead about the whole university thing, you're there to prepare for the future not for some Battle Royale style social-survival
I see what you mean.. but it's hard to justify the present with the future. Are years of pain enough justification for years of happiness thereafter?
I don't know.

Having a bad time has more weight for me than having a good time.
In other words, If i could have 2 hours of pain followed by 2 hours of happiness, or nothing at all, I'd stick with nothing.

But I'll try to be positive, more so because I have to, haha :))
 
Athelvete

Athelvete

Member
Mar 19, 2018
8
23
I see what you mean.. but it's hard to justify the present with the future. Are years of pain enough justification for years of happiness thereafter?
I don't know.

Having a bad time has more weight for me than having a good time.
In other words, If i could have 2 hours of pain followed by 2 hours of happiness, or nothing at all, I'd stick with nothing.

But I'll try to be positive, more so because I have to, haha :))
Great way of putting it, I'd pick the same thing.. Funny thing is people usually give the advice of "looking ahead" when the present is shit. But at the same time the conventional strategy everyone grabs out of their arsenal is "live in the now, be present". It's really more word soup than anything. I sincerely hope you can find a way to make it work though.
 
Purgatory

Purgatory

Oracle
Mar 21, 2018
142
460
I hate speaking in public! I was once in a psych ward with a girl who got hysterical at having to debate another student in front of the class on a random topic.

On a side note, as much as I dislike it, I have found that it gets easier (for me) the better you know the group you are speaking to and the better you understand the topic.

Other than the fear, how do you think it went?
 
123asdr123

123asdr123

Member
Mar 17, 2018
50
70
try practicing. And find power in confronting your fears. Its fun when you treat it like a challenge
 
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