[Discussion] The word "survivor"

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Hikingcat

Member
Mar 19, 2018
17
54
One thing that has bothered me for a while is when people use the term "survivor" to refer to someone who had a loved one kill themselves. I've seen some people call them "suicide survivors" and more psychology-oriented, trying-to-be-politically-correct people call them "suicide loss survivors" but it just seems so wrong to me. It's always sad when someone you care about dies (and I am not trying to minimize others' grief), but saying that they're a "survivor" to me implies that they lived through something that had the potential to be deadly.

I've thought that people might argue that if you know someone that killed themselves, sometimes that could lead to having your own suicidal thoughts, but to that I would say that they survived the suicidal thoughts, not the loved one killing themselves. And when someone loses a loved one to cancer, you don't call them a cancer loss survivor... and you certainly don't call them a cancer survivor, since that title is for a person that has actually experienced and lived through cancer.

After trying to kill myself about 10 years ago, I saw a book that was titled for suicide survivors and I thought maybe I could learn something from it. I read the description and found out it was for people who had loved ones kill themselves, which is when my annoyance with the term began. It makes sense to me that I wouldn't be called a suicide survivor, because by nature you can't survive a suicide, so the term "suicide attempt survivor" seems fitting (and it seems like what the psychology-oriented, trying-to-be-policitally-correct people are using).

To me, it seems that using the terms "suicide survivor" and "suicide loss survivor" to refer to people who have had loved ones die of suicide is just one more way society makes someone's mental health about other people instead of about themself.

I've heard a few other people that shared this opinion, but I'd like to hear what more people think about these terms. What do you think?
 
ChizuruN

ChizuruN

Failure at Living, Failure at Dying
Mar 20, 2018
88
279
Hey, I'm not the only one that has annoyance towards this term then.

I agree with what you said. Comparing it with "cancer survivor" also puts it into perspective more.

Sometimes I feel that society has more sympathy towards people who had a loved one kill themselves, rather than the actual person that killed themselves.
 
H

Hikingcat

Member
Mar 19, 2018
17
54
@ChizuruN, I totally agree! I feel like some people are still leaning toward the "committed" suicide like a crime and selfish terminology and what it stands for. I would have hoped that the people who are trying to remove that language would have also acted on the word "survivor".
 
ChizuruN

ChizuruN

Failure at Living, Failure at Dying
Mar 20, 2018
88
279
@ChizuruN, I totally agree! I feel like some people are still leaning toward the "committed" suicide like a crime and selfish terminology and what it stands for. I would have hoped that the people who are trying to remove that language would have also acted on the word "survivor".
I think it'll take a long time for people to accept suicide as less of a taboo, if ever.
 
A

amatin

Member
Apr 3, 2018
8
20
People just really seem to think that they're the victim when a loved one kills themself. Yet a considerable amount of these same people don't seem to give a rat's ass about that person when they're alive. The people around me know about how much I'd rather die and that it's largely due to feeling so alone, yet they're not there for me. Then they have the audacity to insist I keep suffering to not disturb their happiness. I just don't understand how people are so selfish. I hear so many stories about people who just don't care about the person till they're gone, but when the individual reaches out while they were alive they just disregarded their feelings.
 
6

6138

New Member
Apr 6, 2018
4
37
I always thought I was the only one who thought this.

I was actually confused when I first heard the term "suicide survivor", it took a while to figure out that they were talking about, as OP said, "Surviving the suicide of a loved one", and not "surviving a suicide attempt".

I think this is just another subtle (or not so subtle) attempt by society to demonise and vilify suicide. They are saying that intentionally ending your own life is so horrible, so terrible, that anyone around you will become a "suicide survivor" just by KNOWING you, how could you do that to them? How could you hurt them so much? If you care about your family at all, you'll stay alive, otherwise you are a terrible, and a selfish person.

It's just another example of anti-choice rhetoric.
 
H

Hikingcat

Member
Mar 19, 2018
17
54
I always thought I was the only one who thought this.

I was actually confused when I first heard the term "suicide survivor", it took a while to figure out that they were talking about, as OP said, "Surviving the suicide of a loved one", and not "surviving a suicide attempt".

I think this is just another subtle (or not so subtle) attempt by society to demonise and vilify suicide. They are saying that intentionally ending your own life is so horrible, so terrible, that anyone around you will become a "suicide survivor" just by KNOWING you, how could you do that to them? How could you hurt them so much? If you care about your family at all, you'll stay alive, otherwise you are a terrible, and a selfish person.

It's just another example of anti-choice rhetoric.
I really like what you said here: "anyone around you will become a "suicide survivor" just by KNOWING you". It sounds like knowing someone who kills themselves is a disease.
 
123asdr123

123asdr123

Member
Mar 17, 2018
50
72
One thing that has bothered me for a while is when people use the term "survivor" to refer to someone who had a loved one kill themselves. I've seen some people call them "suicide survivors" and more psychology-oriented, trying-to-be-politically-correct people call them "suicide loss survivors" but it just seems so wrong to me. It's always sad when someone you care about dies (and I am not trying to minimize others' grief), but saying that they're a "survivor" to me implies that they lived through something that had the potential to be deadly.

I've thought that people might argue that if you know someone that killed themselves, sometimes that could lead to having your own suicidal thoughts, but to that I would say that they survived the suicidal thoughts, not the loved one killing themselves. And when someone loses a loved one to cancer, you don't call them a cancer loss survivor... and you certainly don't call them a cancer survivor, since that title is for a person that has actually experienced and lived through cancer.

After trying to kill myself about 10 years ago, I saw a book that was titled for suicide survivors and I thought maybe I could learn something from it. I read the description and found out it was for people who had loved ones kill themselves, which is when my annoyance with the term began. It makes sense to me that I wouldn't be called a suicide survivor, because by nature you can't survive a suicide, so the term "suicide attempt survivor" seems fitting (and it seems like what the psychology-oriented, trying-to-be-policitally-correct people are using).

To me, it seems that using the terms "suicide survivor" and "suicide loss survivor" to refer to people who have had loved ones die of suicide is just one more way society makes someone's mental health about other people instead of about themself.

I've heard a few other people that shared this opinion, but I'd like to hear what more people think about these terms. What do you think?
aye this dramatization of suicide is nothing compared to the thinking that we dont have the right to end it and forced psychiatry and non-cirm detainment.
 
B

Ben

-
Sep 12, 2018
788
2,603
One thing that has bothered me for a while is when people use the term "survivor" to refer to someone who had a loved one kill themselves. I've seen some people call them "suicide survivors" and more psychology-oriented, trying-to-be-politically-correct people call them "suicide loss survivors" but it just seems so wrong to me. It's always sad when someone you care about dies (and I am not trying to minimize others' grief), but saying that they're a "survivor" to me implies that they lived through something that had the potential to be deadly.

I've thought that people might argue that if you know someone that killed themselves, sometimes that could lead to having your own suicidal thoughts, but to that I would say that they survived the suicidal thoughts, not the loved one killing themselves. And when someone loses a loved one to cancer, you don't call them a cancer loss survivor... and you certainly don't call them a cancer survivor, since that title is for a person that has actually experienced and lived through cancer.

After trying to kill myself about 10 years ago, I saw a book that was titled for suicide survivors and I thought maybe I could learn something from it. I read the description and found out it was for people who had loved ones kill themselves, which is when my annoyance with the term began. It makes sense to me that I wouldn't be called a suicide survivor, because by nature you can't survive a suicide, so the term "suicide attempt survivor" seems fitting (and it seems like what the psychology-oriented, trying-to-be-policitally-correct people are using).

To me, it seems that using the terms "suicide survivor" and "suicide loss survivor" to refer to people who have had loved ones die of suicide is just one more way society makes someone's mental health about other people instead of about themself.

I've heard a few other people that shared this opinion, but I'd like to hear what more people think about these terms. What do you think?
Agreed. When’s pro-lifer calls somebody a suicide survivor, it’s a tongue in cheek attempt to continue their agenda by giving you credit for “surviving yourself”

It makes sense in literal terms, like you literally survived suicide...but it’s not a name tag you go slapping on everyone’s chest whose been through it.

“Surviver”, “saved”...it’s implying a justice was done. So while we are here, upset that we failed, we are expected to be grateful we went through that traumatic experience
 
F

Firefly1

Member
Aug 30, 2018
42
79
One thing that has bothered me for a while is when people use the term "survivor" to refer to someone who had a loved one kill themselves. I've seen some people call them "suicide survivors" and more psychology-oriented, trying-to-be-politically-correct people call them "suicide loss survivors" but it just seems so wrong to me. It's always sad when someone you care about dies (and I am not trying to minimize others' grief), but saying that they're a "survivor" to me implies that they lived through something that had the potential to be deadly.

I've thought that people might argue that if you know someone that killed themselves, sometimes that could lead to having your own suicidal thoughts, but to that I would say that they survived the suicidal thoughts, not the loved one killing themselves. And when someone loses a loved one to cancer, you don't call them a cancer loss survivor... and you certainly don't call them a cancer survivor, since that title is for a person that has actually experienced and lived through cancer.

After trying to kill myself about 10 years ago, I saw a book that was titled for suicide survivors and I thought maybe I could learn something from it. I read the description and found out it was for people who had loved ones kill themselves, which is when my annoyance with the term began. It makes sense to me that I wouldn't be called a suicide survivor, because by nature you can't survive a suicide, so the term "suicide attempt survivor" seems fitting (and it seems like what the psychology-oriented, trying-to-be-policitally-correct people are using).

To me, it seems that using the terms "suicide survivor" and "suicide loss survivor" to refer to people who have had loved ones die of suicide is just one more way society makes someone's mental health about other people instead of about themself.

I've heard a few other people that shared this opinion, but I'd like to hear what more people think about these terms. What do you think?
I actually dont have any problem with the term. Sometimes when a person close to you commits suicide it can feel like a part of your existence has died along with him. ItsIteven worse when you couldn't do anything to help that person and now are naturally filled with guilt and regret and a million questions that can never be answered so in such cases if you survive you should be called a suicide survivor because suicide does not only effect the person that dies but a lot of other closed ones as well
 
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