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Brick In The Wall

Brick In The Wall

2M Or Not 2B.
Joined
Oct 30, 2019
Messages
13,488
I'm so mad I can't watch anime on kissanime anymore. I'm trying to finish this one anime, but no sites really have it :aw:
What's it called? I might be able to find a stream site for you.
 
Gummy

Gummy

Member
Joined
Mar 28, 2018
Messages
65
My city is going into full lockdown again soon and my parents are begging me to come back home. The thought of going back home makes me feel extremely pissed off already. I'm 21 years old and my parents still try to control every aspect of my life like I'm a child.

I can manage what I eat here, but at home my dad has the say on what I eat and will force me to become overweight just so he have someone to mirror his body image. Feeling pissed off all the time at home doesn't help too, since I usually resort to eating junk to make me feel better.
I control what hours I'm awake, but at home my dad forces me to sleep at 10pm like I'm a 10 year old kid on a school night. Even though I have friends who are only available late at night. He say that I should socialize more but he's the one barring me from doing so.
I have all the privacy I can ever want here, but at home, I have no keys to my room, people are always awake at all hours making noises, parents barge into my room randomly at any hour, hang around in my room for no reason and making me extremely uncomfortable, privacy is basically illegal in my house.
Even though the bathrooms here are shared, it's clean, comfortable and serviceable. At home, the bathrooms are disgusting, the toilet and shower constantly fails, the water is either cold or lava hot, I don't even have a bathroom in the room I'm sleeping in right now. As a result I become filthy when I live at home. I only shower every few days or so, and not so clean. I shower every day when I'm here and I keep everything clean.
Those things might seem trivial, but I like having control of those things in my life and coming home would take away all of that and make me lose balance and control over my life, making me depressed even more. To make it worse, my parents aren't getting along well right now so they keep their distance at home, and unfortunately for me, it's resulting with my dad becoming even more overbearing since he's staying in my corner of the house. Midlife crisis is a bitch.

When I lived at home a few months ago, I felt depressed and pissed off all the time. As a result, I didn't do much. 4 months that I could've spent doing productive things I spent doing nothing because I became so demotivated, depressed and pissed off because of the environment at home.
When I came back to my dorm a month ago, I still felt the same way, though less so, which is better. But still, the feeling of being demotivated still lingered when I'm here. Imagine if I have to spend more time at home, it would make me depressed and pissed off even more and the feeling would linger for much longer. It would take a long time for me to recover.
I still feel depressed here, as I have always before the quarantine, but at least I have the privacy to feel depressed. At home, I can't even cry alone. My parents would probably interrupt me to tell me how great their life was and how much they're a role model, or how much I have to pray to god and all that bullshit. Having my depressive mood interrupted to hear all that shit is what makes me lose my sanity. At least I can be depressed without anything else bothering me here. Pretty much the only thing that makes me want to come home is to see my dogs and my mom's cookings (which she doesn't do a lot anymore because my parents not getting along right now)
 
Brick In The Wall

Brick In The Wall

2M Or Not 2B.
Joined
Oct 30, 2019
Messages
13,488
My city is going into full lockdown again soon and my parents are begging me to come back home. The thought of going back home makes me feel extremely pissed off already. I'm 21 years old and my parents still try to control every aspect of my life like I'm a child.

I can manage what I eat here, but at home my dad has the say on what I eat and will force me to become overweight just so he have someone to mirror his body image. Feeling pissed off all the time at home doesn't help too, since I usually resort to eating junk to make me feel better.
I control what hours I'm awake, but at home my dad forces me to sleep at 10pm like I'm a 10 year old kid on a school night. Even though I have friends who are only available late at night. He say that I should socialize more but he's the one barring me from doing so.
I have all the privacy I can ever want here, but at home, I have no keys to my room, people are always awake at all hours making noises, parents barge into my room randomly at any hour, hang around in my room for no reason and making me extremely uncomfortable, privacy is basically illegal in my house.
Even though the bathrooms here are shared, it's clean, comfortable and serviceable. At home, the bathrooms are disgusting, the toilet and shower constantly fails, the water is either cold or lava hot, I don't even have a bathroom in the room I'm sleeping in right now. As a result I become filthy when I live at home. I only shower every few days or so, and not so clean. I shower every day when I'm here and I keep everything clean.
Those things might seem trivial, but I like having control of those things in my life and coming home would take away all of that and make me lose balance and control over my life, making me depressed even more. To make it worse, my parents aren't getting along well right now so they keep their distance at home, and unfortunately for me, it's resulting with my dad becoming even more overbearing since he's staying in my corner of the house. Midlife crisis is a bitch.

When I lived at home a few months ago, I felt depressed and pissed off all the time. As a result, I didn't do much. 4 months that I could've spent doing productive things I spent doing nothing because I became so demotivated, depressed and pissed off because of the environment at home.
When I came back to my dorm a month ago, I still felt the same way, though less so, which is better. But still, the feeling of being demotivated still lingered when I'm here. Imagine if I have to spend more time at home, it would make me depressed and pissed off even more and the feeling would linger for much longer. It would take a long time for me to recover.
I still feel depressed here, as I have always before the quarantine, but at least I have the privacy to feel depressed. At home, I can't even cry alone. My parents would probably interrupt me to tell me how great their life was and how much they're a role model, or how much I have to pray to god and all that bullshit. Having my depressive mood interrupted to hear all that shit is what makes me lose my sanity. At least I can be depressed without anything else bothering me here. Pretty much the only thing that makes me want to come home is to see my dogs and my mom's cookings (which she doesn't do a lot anymore because my parents not getting along right now)
None of what you've said is "trivial" as you put it. You're an adult and you rightfully deserve your own space and rules.

That being said, we're all living in difficult times right now. You have to do what you have to but never forget that it's only temporary.

Moving back home is always a loss of freedoms, but sometimes it's the only thing keeping you off the steets. I sincerely hope it works out for you sooner rather than later.
 
Gummy

Gummy

Member
Joined
Mar 28, 2018
Messages
65
I only go out to get food and supplies. I've only gone out for reasons other than that once this month, which is to meet up with some friends.

My semester is also starting very soon, which I predict will be stressful. I don't need any more stress coming from home.
 
LetzteAusfahrt

LetzteAusfahrt

Swiss gay, exist until October 4th, PM me
Joined
Jun 27, 2020
Messages
562
My city is going into full lockdown again soon and my parents are begging me to come back home. The thought of going back home makes me feel extremely pissed off already. I'm 21 years old and my parents still try to control every aspect of my life like I'm a child.

I can manage what I eat here, but at home my dad has the say on what I eat and will force me to become overweight just so he have someone to mirror his body image. Feeling pissed off all the time at home doesn't help too, since I usually resort to eating junk to make me feel better.
I control what hours I'm awake, but at home my dad forces me to sleep at 10pm like I'm a 10 year old kid on a school night. Even though I have friends who are only available late at night. He say that I should socialize more but he's the one barring me from doing so.
I have all the privacy I can ever want here, but at home, I have no keys to my room, people are always awake at all hours making noises, parents barge into my room randomly at any hour, hang around in my room for no reason and making me extremely uncomfortable, privacy is basically illegal in my house.
Even though the bathrooms here are shared, it's clean, comfortable and serviceable. At home, the bathrooms are disgusting, the toilet and shower constantly fails, the water is either cold or lava hot, I don't even have a bathroom in the room I'm sleeping in right now. As a result I become filthy when I live at home. I only shower every few days or so, and not so clean. I shower every day when I'm here and I keep everything clean.
Those things might seem trivial, but I like having control of those things in my life and coming home would take away all of that and make me lose balance and control over my life, making me depressed even more. To make it worse, my parents aren't getting along well right now so they keep their distance at home, and unfortunately for me, it's resulting with my dad becoming even more overbearing since he's staying in my corner of the house. Midlife crisis is a bitch.

When I lived at home a few months ago, I felt depressed and pissed off all the time. As a result, I didn't do much. 4 months that I could've spent doing productive things I spent doing nothing because I became so demotivated, depressed and pissed off because of the environment at home.
When I came back to my dorm a month ago, I still felt the same way, though less so, which is better. But still, the feeling of being demotivated still lingered when I'm here. Imagine if I have to spend more time at home, it would make me depressed and pissed off even more and the feeling would linger for much longer. It would take a long time for me to recover.
I still feel depressed here, as I have always before the quarantine, but at least I have the privacy to feel depressed. At home, I can't even cry alone. My parents would probably interrupt me to tell me how great their life was and how much they're a role model, or how much I have to pray to god and all that bullshit. Having my depressive mood interrupted to hear all that shit is what makes me lose my sanity. At least I can be depressed without anything else bothering me here. Pretty much the only thing that makes me want to come home is to see my dogs and my mom's cookings (which she doesn't do a lot anymore because my parents not getting along right now)
You are old enough and grown up, you can decide about your life yourself.

These things that you call trivial are life. They are the things that you can decide for yourself, that make you stand out.

Your parents cannot control you all your life, they cannot control you all your life because otherwise you are not alive.

At some point you have to break away and stand for yourself. When that is, you have to decide for yourself.

But the way you describe it, going home now will likely harm you.

There are moments when you have to be a bit selfish to protect yourself. Your health is most important to you, you should think about it first.
 
LetzteAusfahrt

LetzteAusfahrt

Swiss gay, exist until October 4th, PM me
Joined
Jun 27, 2020
Messages
562
There's really nothing I can do to oppose them. No matter how I decide to live my life. It's their house, their rules, and they have control over me as long as I live under that roof.
You don't live with your parents now. If you stay there, what would happen?
 
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