The meaning of pro-choice

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BipolarGuy

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Since I'm planning to bring an end to my life this coming weekend I thought I would state the obvious one final time.

I believe that this forum is needed.
Many depressed and suicidal people do not feel able to talk openly and honestly with people in their life (family, friends, medical professionals) through fear of being sectioned or their feelings being invalidated and not taken seriously.
Furthermore, most other depression forums are so heavily moderated that you cannot even talk about depression due to rules about 'triggering' others.
So a place to speak openly and honestly is required.

However, I along with others have legitimate concerns regarding how a minority of members of this site behave.

This forum is a pro-choice forum on which members can access peer support.
Advice can be sought regarding recovery pathways and yes, information is available.

But this is absolutely not supposed to be a pro-suicide forum, though a minority of members apparently think it is!

These members will not come straight out and tell people to kill themselves. Instead, it is done very subtly.

For instance, if you make a comment on a goodbye thread along the lines of
"I'm sorry life has made you feel like this, have you considered ALL options?"
or
"Remember if you decide not to go ahead today, you can postpone the decision and you'll be welcomes back on the site with open arms"
then these people will jump on you and say that you "shouldn't be saying stuff like that!".

A new member started a thread within the last few days and I made the first comment, offering to talk about their issues.
Immediately, one of these pro-suicide members jumped on my comment and said that I shouldn't be offering help!
They tried to make out that I was out of order for offering to talk.

You see, they won't come out and say "kill yourselves", but they attempt to silence the helpful voices that talk about solutions other than suicide.
This is despite the fact that whenever this website is criticised these same people will say "But we have a recovery section, so we're not pro-suicide"....and then attempt to silence voices that talk about anything other than suicide!

These people have totally redefined what 'pro-choice' means, so that there is essentially a specific meaning that they use within the small bubble of this website.
They have essentially redefined pro-choice to mean pro-suicide!
Don't believe me?
Then reply to threads in exactly the way described above, and one of these people will accuse you of being 'pro-life' (which they take as meaning 'anti-choice').
They're fanatics, pure and simple!

But I will say this for them:
They do taste nice.
It has become a bit of a hobby for me, chewing them up and spitting them out in front of the entire forum (just so others can see them for what they are, you know!).

I want to reassure the helpful and empathetic majority on this site that these people can do you no harm, and despite their pathetic attempts to harass (PMing you, arguing with you on threads, or saying they've looked through your post history), in reality they're just bitter souls who cannot contain their own hate.
Maybe they're not getting laid and they blame the world.
Perhaps they're so disappointed with how their life turned out that they want to drag everyone else down too.
Who knows.

But don't let the minority of fanatics on this website silence the innocent, helpful majority.

Being empathetic to members experiencing suicidal thoughts is not 'anti-choice'.
Offering to talk through problems so that suicide is the 'last option' is also not 'anti-choice'. In fact it's normal to do this!
 
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Good4Nothing

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When I first joined this site I tried encouraging a young person to give life a chance before offing themself. I was called a pro-lifer, in a rather insulting way. So I don't do that anymore. Young people want to die. What can you do? [shrug guy]
 
BipolarGuy

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When I first joined this site I tried encouraging a young person to give life a chance before offing themself. I was called a pro-lifer, in a rather insulting way. So I don't do that anymore. Young people want to die. What can you do? [shrug guy]

This is what I mean.

I must admit, 'empty' encouragement with no substance is annoying and doesn't help. But offering to talk through problems or suggesting solutions that the other person might not have considered is fine.

Don't let the pro-suicide fanatics put you off of helping other human beings.
 
ghostspace

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Thank you for saying this. I’m almost always suicidal and this site helps me cope with that.

It would be such an accomplishment if I am able to make it through my whole life just feeling suicidal and never catching the bus.

Pro-choice means we accept others’ right to CTB, recover, and everything in between.

This site is the In Between as once you’re dead, you’re not online anymore, and recovery doesn’t necessarily mean not feeling suicidal.

Suggesting someone pause and think about their options isn’t telling them what to do, it’s just reminding them that they’re allowed to just feel really suicidal in the moment and give their next actions some thought.

You’re allowed to feel whatever you feel, that doesn’t mean you have to act on it right away or ever.


*:・゚✧ ✧゚・:

I always tell myself, ‘Well, I have my whole life ahead of me to kill myself. Might as well die another day if today’s not it.’

it’s not like death is going anywhere.
 
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esse_est_percipi

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Being empathetic to members experiencing suicidal thoughts is not 'anti-choice'.
Offering to talk through problems so that suicide is the 'last option' is also not 'anti-choice'. In fact it's normal to do this!
I agree with this.
A normal human reaction to others experiencing suffering to the point of wanting to die is to want to help them.
Imagine you come across someone irl crying with a gun to their head. Your first reaction would not be to say 'I wish you the best', 'safe transition' etc.
You would want to help that person, offer to talk things through and see if there's something they're missing which might give them some hope.

I'm not saying that situation is exactly equivalent to someone doing a goodbye thread on this site, but I think it should be equally acceptable (and not automatically assumed to be some kind of pro-life infiltration) to offer to talk through problems as to wish someone a peaceful transition or something.
 
Panna

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Completely agree, if the person wants to die, then I try not to stop them, it's their choice, but if they are unsure, trying to help them cope with going forward or going backwards is a point of mine that I try to make. Attempting to corner a person into feeling that the only option is to go forward through manipulation and gagging anyone who dares to raise a voice is disgusting. This site is a haven for all of us involved, we should be helping each other in that sense, not the other way around.
 
RoseyBird

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It’s interesting. I’ve told several people to either hang out and see how things develop for them, or take some time to think things over since they are distressed and impulsive, but I’ve never been called a pro-lifer. I’ve seen it happen a lot though.
 
RoseyBird

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Where I'm from, to have someone say this to me feels like a big compliment, if I'm on the receiving end.
Oh hey, wasn’t your name crossed out what happened?
 
Chupacabra 44

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I agree with OP completely!!!

I see a few posters here who like to play SS police and hide behind the rules in an effort to sway the board into a slightly more pro death stance. Personally I find these few posters to seemingly be lacking any sort of moral compass. Just my opinion and I accept that perhaps my bar is set too high, and thus, it's entirely possible that these posters just don't register morally whatsoever for me.

One poster actually had the gall to go through my post history to disclose to the rest of the members that I had posted something else along the lines of "hey, you're young think twice...". This poster actually counted how many days it had been since I had stated a similar public position on this forum.

For those of you keeping score at home, I apparently went 9 days without making a similar post, apparently based on what this other member stated. I take on face value that this person counted accurately.

Frankly, this to me felt a little of stalking type behavior and it felt very violating to me, and hence, in part, I self banned until today. To my view, this is nothing more than a clever manipulation tactic trying to squash any type of voice that isn't pro- death, using BG's phraseology, and frankly, I'm more than comfortable to borrow BG's phraseology.

There are some extremely sharp posters on this board and I see ever so slight manipulation tactics to try and sway the consensus here. Don't like this.

I think the pendulum needs to swing ever so slightly into a more "think twice" consensus. Unlike a few others on this board, I am very direct in my personal views; people know where I stand; there is no sleight of hand in my approach. There is absolutely no hidden agenda with me. But, how about with some of these others......

It's nice to be back amongst the folks I care about, and so that I don't get perma banned on my first night back on SS, I'm going to march my butt straight over to my musical flashbacks thread. For all of you choosing to follow me over there, let's all proceed in an orderly fashion, we do not want it to have a stampede.

If I remember correctly rule number 53.4 in the SS rule book states do not cause a stampede on SS or else you will face a perma ban.

Peace.
 
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GoneGoneGone

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Only somebody completely self-absorbed could take a thread made by a poster who has decided to ctb and make it all about THEMSELVES
 
Amumu

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Good post

Maybe they're not getting laid and they blame the world.
Perhaps they're so disappointed with how their life turned out that they want to drag everyone else down too.
Who knows.
No, they're just dogmatic, nothing to do with that
 
nitroautnz

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it would be funny that they come here to agree with you
 
BipolarGuy

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Only somebody completely self-absorbed could take a thread made by a poster who has decided to ctb and make it all about THEMSELVES
???
I agree with OP completely!!!

I see a few posters here who like to play SS police and hide behind the rules in an effort to sway the board into a slightly more pro death stance. Personally I find these few posters to seemingly be lacking any sort of moral compass. Just my opinion and I accept that perhaps my bar is set too high, and thus, it's entirely possible that these posters just don't register morally whatsoever for me.

One poster actually had the gall to go through my post history to disclose to the rest of the members that I had posted something else along the lines of "hey, you're young think twice...". This poster actually counted how many days it had been since I had stated a similar public position on this forum.

For those of you keeping score at home, I apparently went 9 days without making a similar post, apparently based on what this other member stated. I take on face value that this person counted accurately.

Frankly, this to me felt a little of stalking type behavior and it felt very violating to me, and hence, in part, I self banned until today. To my view, this is nothing more than a clever manipulation tactic trying to squash any type of voice that isn't pro- death, using BG's phraseology, and frankly, I'm more than comfortable to borrow BG's phraseology.

There are some extremely sharp posters on this board and I see ever so slight manipulation tactics to try and sway the consensus here. Don't like this.

I think the pendulum needs to swing ever so slightly into a more "think twice" consensus. Unlike a few others on this board, I am very direct in my personal views; people know where I stand; there is no sleight of hand in my approach. There is absolutely no hidden agenda with me. But, how about with some of these others......

It's nice to be back amongst the folks I care about, and so that I don't get perma banned on my first night back on SS, I'm going to march my butt straight over to my musical flashbacks thread. For all of you choosing to follow me over there, let's all proceed in an orderly fashion, we do not want it to have a stampede.

If I remember correctly rule number 53.4 in the SS rule book states do not cause a stampede on SS or else you will face a perma ban.

Peace.
Heeeey
Glad to have you back :)
 
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GoneGoneGone

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I am the poster that @Chupacabra 44 is accusing of being pro-death simply because I pointed out that he posted 2 similar threads in the span of 9 days.

@Chupacabra 44 : receipts or it didn’t happen. Show me where I’m pro-death. You make a very nasty accusation because of your ego.

If you are so upset that I made you look ... uninspired by posting the same threads, then I apologize. But please do not derail @BipolarGuy’s thread.
 
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depression999

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Oh I almost forgot:

Don't forget that the government employs NHS spies to 'attack' this site, which contravenes our human rights.


YEAH!

Who is with me?

I don’t think the ‘NHS spies’ will be encouraging people to kill themselves in fact I think they would be doing the exact opposite, I don’t understand what this has to do with your original post
 
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