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The blame for not being able to end my life lies with me alone

C

Curious89

Fleeting glimpse of existence
Joined
Oct 11, 2019
Messages
275
I wish I had the physical visceral ability to end it. I have tried in the past but my nerves have always failed me.

I have seen many celebs go by hanging so I wanted to do that because I couldn't bring myself to jump or cut or ingest any chemicals.

But my nerves don't support me. Also I have been unable to have an effective setup for either full or partial.

I know my shortcomings as a human being and I try to keep them under control but as life goes on and my physical age keeps increasing, it only gets harder and harder.

I am truly saddened or angry or depressed - depending on my daily changing situation - about my complete inability to end it.
 
foxdie

foxdie

Eternal sleep is what I seek
Joined
Aug 18, 2020
Messages
235
This me right now mon ami, I feel you. I was able to get light headed practising night night, then I got scared and stopped and now I can't reproduce it. I wish I had just done it and I hate myself for not being able to follow through. I hate my SI...
 
T

tidalwxves

Veteran
Joined
Sep 8, 2020
Messages
144
I wish I had the physical visceral ability to end it. I have tried in the past but my nerves have always failed me.

I have seen many celebs go by hanging so I wanted to do that because I couldn't bring myself to jump or cut or ingest any chemicals.

But my nerves don't support me. Also I have been unable to have an effective setup for either full or partial.

I know my shortcomings as a human being and I try to keep them under control but as life goes on and my physical age keeps increasing, it only gets harder and harder.

I am truly saddened or angry or depressed - depending on my daily changing situation - about my complete inability to end it.
I would encourage you to do the best that you can to be kind to yourself. This is a big step, a big decision, a truly irreversible one and it's something you are not required to do. Not doing it doesn't make you coward, it doesn't make you weak.
 
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