[Story] Suicide over a breakup

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Querry1

Querry1

jd
Aug 16, 2018
130
602
So, I think this is it.

I'm going to attempt second time on the weekend, also with SN, but this time I have anti acids and antiemetics.

It may be silly to do it over a breakup, but for me it's really hurting. I can't change my destructive behaviors, I have tried many things, but in the end I'm the one who's hurting. She has tried so much, she gave every piece of her for me and I still used that. I'm too broken to be fixed, that's what time showed me.

From last attempt I have moved out from my house, I have found a job I like, I have found a girl I love, etc., and I don't want to go on without her, I don't care anymore.

I have just ordered SN and tonight I'm going to book a hotel and I'm starting a 48hr regime on Friday.

I hope this time I won't panic and it won't hurt for too long, sorry for a long rant, but I have no one to tell all of that.
 
H

Himmusingh

Member
Sep 18, 2019
6
7
Breakups are hard but you can try to divert your mind from this.I was also suffering from my breakup but then i started learning new courses on internet and i am feeling much better now.Ultimately its your decision i am just sharing my experience.
 
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L

Lilith81

Member
Sep 19, 2019
15
5
That's what I wanted to do because of a breakup but she found my SN and confiscated it! Ughhhhh. I'm so distraught now
 
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Qverty7455

Qverty7455

Veteran
Sep 28, 2019
127
125
I understand you bro :( I am going through the same problems but it's not only the breakup but it was the last thing that destroyed me and told me you are worthless and you can't ever be happy.
 
Querry1

Querry1

jd
Aug 16, 2018
130
602
Thanks for the comments, I think I will think that over, it destroyed me but I should not act upon emotions or impulse. It still hurts a lot and I'm in a bad place, thanks for the support, all of you.
 
Rachel74

Rachel74

Illuminated
Sep 7, 2019
1,229
1,734
44
United Kingdom
Thanks for the comments, I think I will think that over, it destroyed me but I should not act upon emotions or impulse. It still hurts a lot and I'm in a bad place, thanks for the support, all of you.
Message anytime you need a chat. Remember no one is worth your life.
 
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Darkhaven

Darkhaven

Teeth Grinding 24/7
May 19, 2019
513
1,191
Salem
Ain't no one's place to tell if the other's motives to do something are worthy or not.
Each individual takes things diferently.
To you losing the woman of your life is soulcrushing.
For me living with a chronic, non life threatening disease is a deal breaker.
So it's really up to each person to decide when it's worth to continue or not.
Whatever you do i wish it doesn't cause you any more pain.
 
O

ots

Member
Sep 9, 2019
22
32
I'm here because of a breakup. Your situation sounds pretty similar to mine. I had a great girl, who supported me and understood I wasn't well. Still, I fucked things up. Didn't fix things soon enough; let them slip too far to begin with. She's gone now. If I was too broken for her, I'm probably too broken for anybody. I won't find another willing to put up with that amount of shit.

Still. The pain is fading. Don't get me wrong, I still feel like shit, hate myself and think I deserve nothing less than the unending misery that is both my conscious living and own personal hell; but the pain is fading. That stabbing, ripping pain seems to be receding. For me it has given way to a low sense of self worth and general apathy towards life, that was always there for me, but it might give way to something else for you. Others have successfully moved on from heart break and you may well yet.

One thing I learned from this place is that there is no rush to CTB. Take another few days to think about things or try something you haven't before. A new perspective might be all you need. If not, SN has a relatively indefinite shelf life. It'll still be there. Some people don't like the 48 hour regime, but it also gives you some time to think. Start taking the meto and if you don't feel 100% committed 24 hours later, stop taking it and postpone. You only get to die once, so may as well take the extra little bit of time to be sure this is how you want to go.

Safe travels, whatever you decide.
 
Qverty7455

Qverty7455

Veteran
Sep 28, 2019
127
125
I'm here because of a breakup. Your situation sounds pretty similar to mine. I had a great girl, who supported me and understood I wasn't well. Still, I fucked things up. Didn't fix things soon enough; let them slip too far to begin with. She's gone now. If I was too broken for her, I'm probably too broken for anybody. I won't find another willing to put up with that amount of shit.

Still. The pain is fading. Don't get me wrong, I still feel like shit, hate myself and think I deserve nothing less than the unending misery that is both my conscious living and own personal hell; but the pain is fading. That stabbing, ripping pain seems to be receding. For me it has given way to a low sense of self worth and general apathy towards life, that was always there for me, but it might give way to something else for you. Others have successfully moved on from heart break and you may well yet.

One thing I learned from this place is that there is no rush to CTB. Take another few days to think about things or try something you haven't before. A new perspective might be all you need. If not, SN has a relatively indefinite shelf life. It'll still be there. Some people don't like the 48 hour regime, but it also gives you some time to think. Start taking the meto and if you don't feel 100% committed 24 hours later, stop taking it and postpone. You only get to die once, so may as well take the extra little bit of time to be sure this is how you want to go.

Safe travels, whatever you decide.
you have the same story as me :(
but I can't get over it.
 
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drake4871

drake4871

Member
Sep 10, 2019
63
57
Breakups are hard OP but from personal experience it has just taken plenty of time to recover from. If you're willing to wait it'll likely get better; however, I wish you the best of luck with whatever you choose to do
 
L

Libracusp_1022

Member
Jul 29, 2019
13
8
In my experience time ( and more relationships) really changed my perspective on people who had broken my heart.
 
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Final Escape

Final Escape

Old and tired
Jul 8, 2018
2,822
9,641
42
The breakup pain is like that extra push to justify ctb, but maybe u could hold off just a little bit, should sleep on it. If you are a young person especially. . Little video by a guy that I watch on YouTube sometimes.
 
A

Alec

Wise
Apr 22, 2019
200
377
So, I think this is it.

I'm going to attempt second time on the weekend, also with SN, but this time I have anti acids and antiemetics.

It may be silly to do it over a breakup, but for me it's really hurting. I can't change my destructive behaviors, I have tried many things, but in the end I'm the one who's hurting. She has tried so much, she gave every piece of her for me and I still used that. I'm too broken to be fixed, that's what time showed me.

From last attempt I have moved out from my house, I have found a job I like, I have found a girl I love, etc., and I don't want to go on without her, I don't care anymore.

I have just ordered SN and tonight I'm going to book a hotel and I'm starting a 48hr regime on Friday.

I hope this time I won't panic and it won't hurt for too long, sorry for a long rant, but I have no one to tell all of that.
Never apologize for saying and telling all that you feel, especially to us! We are hear not just to look up information we are hear to also listen and share our own stories, at least I am and I believe so are many others. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and emotions! I can’t offer you any solutions or miracles but I truly hope you’ll find what you are looking for, I love you forever! SN is also the method I chose.
 
Wayfaerer

Wayfaerer

FML
Aug 21, 2019
567
874
US
The breakup pain is like that extra push to justify ctb, but maybe u could hold off just a little bit, should sleep on it. If you are a young person especially. . Little video by a guy that I watch on YouTube sometimes.
I'm a young male but none of his advice applies to me. I had a set plan in life that was very good but I'm going to ctb for completely unrelated reasons. I don't even want to really but I don't have much choice. I envy the people who still have real options.
 
Final Escape

Final Escape

Old and tired
Jul 8, 2018
2,822
9,641
42
Sorry if the video was offensive to anyone, it can be a bit harsh but only take from it what is useful I guess. That’s what I did. But yea it can seem kind of insensitive and offensive. Unless u suffer with chronic suicidal feelings and thoughts, it’s impossible to understand what it’s like. Everyone is different so don’t let this video make u feel bad or take it too personal.
 
thrw_a_way1221221

thrw_a_way1221221

Angel of Choice
Aug 30, 2018
2,567
9,843
I don't think your reasoning is invalid at all. Anyone can commit suicide for any given reason and there is no obligation for you to justify it to anyone (only yourself). The only thing is to make sure that you are 100% certain before making the decision as any hesitation or doubt could result in failure or a botched attempt.

@Final Escape that's actually a pretty good video and there are very few people who actually think like him. I believe he's one of the most logical, practical people, especially when it comes to many topics, even suicide.
 
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Dawn0071111

Dawn0071111

Hungry Ghost
Dec 9, 2018
575
1,301
Somewhere Over The Rainbow
I'm here because of a breakup. Your situation sounds pretty similar to mine. I had a great girl, who supported me and understood I wasn't well. Still, I fucked things up. Didn't fix things soon enough; let them slip too far to begin with. She's gone now. If I was too broken for her, I'm probably too broken for anybody. I won't find another willing to put up with that amount of shit.

Still. The pain is fading. Don't get me wrong, I still feel like shit, hate myself and think I deserve nothing less than the unending misery that is both my conscious living and own personal hell; but the pain is fading. That stabbing, ripping pain seems to be receding. For me it has given way to a low sense of self worth and general apathy towards life, that was always there for me, but it might give way to something else for you. Others have successfully moved on from heart break and you may well yet.

One thing I learned from this place is that there is no rush to CTB. Take another few days to think about things or try something you haven't before. A new perspective might be all you need. If not, SN has a relatively indefinite shelf life. It'll still be there. Some people don't like the 48 hour regime, but it also gives you some time to think. Start taking the meto and if you don't feel 100% committed 24 hours later, stop taking it and postpone. You only get to die once, so may as well take the extra little bit of time to be sure this is how you want to go.

Safe travels, whatever you decide.
Same story as me.. Im bitter as fuck....
 
White_Room293

White_Room293

rapid cycling gay guy
Sep 13, 2019
144
125
United States
We're all equally worthless. Don't believe the lies people tell you
The breakup pain is like that extra push to justify ctb, but maybe u could hold off just a little bit, should sleep on it. If you are a young person especially. . Little video by a guy that I watch on YouTube sometimes.
Y I K E S

no thank you. he sounds like a republican
 
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Sweet emotion

Sweet emotion

Arcanist
Sep 14, 2019
555
689
I'm certainly not a pro life person but I'm begging you to just give it some more time and work on yourself so that you can be happy with who you are as a person. Go to therapy. Get down the the root of the problems and learn to combat them. You will meet other women. Plus your life should matter enough. I admit I don't understand why people kill themselves over breakups. But if you do I just want you to be sure in the knowledge that you exhausted all treatments. Maybe you need to be on meds and see a really good therapist. If you wish to do none of this I wish you a fast peaceful death. Best of luck.
 
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toxicfox

toxicfox

Can’t run with foxes AND hunt with the wolves
Sep 30, 2019
50
76
Over a breakup? How long was the relationship?
 
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Nem

Nem

Damn!
Sep 3, 2018
578
1,726
Just be glad you are free from being with someone that isn’t worth your time
 
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LastFlowers

LastFlowers

the haru that can read
Apr 27, 2019
457
1,393
Breakups are hard but you can recover. Please don’t do anything on impulse xx
Yes, I don’t want to be unsupportive but break-ups are one of those things I do not think should be given so much weight that it allows you to take your life in the moment of pain.
It is one of those pains that usually is truly temporary. You have not lost someone irreplaceable, or someone who deserves to be described as such. Otherwise, they’d still be around.
Personally, I guess I would never want to kill myself over someone who didn’t want to be with me.

I would be highly upset if someone I was close to killed themselves over a breakup. I would wonder why I was even in their lives-as family or a close friend- if they clearly put all their eggs into that one human’s basket. Enough to end their life over it.
Usually there is more to it than just that. Do you not have anyone else in your life? Family, friends? Other relationships that are different but just as important?
Were you already missing something in your life and your gf was distracting from that? Or filling the gap?
Were you okay before you got into a relationship with her?
If you were, then you can be again.
And if you weren’t, then it may be advisable to look at the real reason as to why that is, and to focus on that instead of the breakup. See if that’s fixable. If not, by all means..
Still, at the very least, give it time.
You can always catch the bus, usually there is no rush. But doing so without timely thought and preparation can end very badly.
 
D

DeadPetal

Member
Oct 6, 2019
11
240
My decision isn’t because we broke up it’s because he’s died
 
D

DeadPetal

Member
Oct 6, 2019
11
240
I’m so sorry, mine was a heart attack. Think of him now what would he say to you if he was still alive?
I’m really not sure, I don’t think he intended on it happening, my whole life is ruined I’m so lost without him
 

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