Suicidal again but it’s passive

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Final Escape

Final Escape

Getting closer to my end
Jul 8, 2018
3,652
11,545
I’m thinking about doing the SN method but then I’m also thinking a gun would be more sure because I can’t back out. I seem to improve but then slide back into despair and back out again. I think I just don’t want to live in society the way it is and the way iam.
 
Soulless_Angel

Soulless_Angel

self destruct activated
Jul 10, 2019
1,066
1,897
the yoyo of getting OK then slipping again is a bitch, but you are still with us this is a good thing, are there any triggers that send you down again or is it just happening with no warning? If there are triggers are you able to work around and avoid them?
 
ohhgeeitsme

ohhgeeitsme

Member
Feb 5, 2020
30
52
Same here. All of it. I cycle like crazy. Whenever I'm really down, I don't even have the energy to watch TV, let alone kill myself. Then whenever I start getting some energy, I think, I'll stick it out. But those good, or well, now just tolerable waves are becoming much shorter and less frequent. I've tried killing myself by hanging a few times but I failed. As far as those two methods, I'd personally choose a gun just because it's instant (hopefully). I don't have access to a gun, though and can't afford one. I can't do the SN method because I can't take any kind of dopamine blocker without making my akathisia severe which is the worst feeling I've ever experienced. I have a sensitive stomach so I would no doubt vomit. You are not alone, though. I know that's not always enough but it is true. I hope you find peace, whatever that may be. Much love.
 
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ClonesAnnoyMe

-
Feb 7, 2020
134
108
Please let me know if you need someone to talk to
 
Final Escape

Final Escape

Getting closer to my end
Jul 8, 2018
3,652
11,545
I had a bout of really terrible suicidal ideation again but I’m ok now. I’m so helpless in this state. It was exacerbated by ADD medication. I’ve decided to quit permanently this time. If I had not had my hormones checked and those hadn’t kicked in I would have a harder time giving them up but I get a lot less craving since hormone replacement with testosterone and any other ones that I need adjusted.