[Method] SN Information and monologue

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V

Vegrau

Wizard
Nov 27, 2018
669
1,655
I will post what I had learned about SN here. Whether you believe it or not. It doesnt matter to me. I am not asking you to. We are strangers. I do this out of my obligation and duty to this place. Nothing more nothing less.

Meto is a prokinetic and anti emetic drug. It will stay in your body for at least 4 days. We excrete around 28% each day. It can cause eps and due to its cumulative nature, the longer you use it higher the likelihood of triggering eps. Whereas dystonia and akathisia can occur after a single dose. So be wary of that and test your drugs beforehand.

Cimetidine is an acid reducer. Raising the ph of your gastric. Ph < 5 is not ideal for SN absorption. So cime is a must. Cime will only raise your ph to > 7 two hours after consumption in regular 200mg dose. It might be faster in higher dose. But I don't know for sure. Also dont take antacid with cime. It disrupt cime absorption. Just take cime is enough.

Cime absorption will be affected if taken alongside prokinetic drug because it empty the stomach. While meto absorption will be affected if taken along side acid reducer because of reduce acidity. How much and how fast they affect each other I cannot find the precise info.

As for SN its absorption are affected by myriad of variables. From ph level. Enzymes. Vit C. To bacterias in our GI tract. Do your own research if you want to know more. Its long and I dont feel like elaborating it here.

SN will usually cake if made in China. Due to them not using anti caking agent. Wont usually cake if made in western countries. Due to anti caking agent. The only difference is their look. If you have anti caking agent in your SN the water will appear cloudy.

Normal stomach will be 90% empty after 4 hours. Dont take any food or beverages other than plain water before using SN since it will lower your ph level in your gastric.

Again you dont have to believe me. You can look it up yourself.

_______________________________________

Monologue :

Today is sickeningly bright and time passes by slower than usual. I am grateful for that. Only when youre about to lose something. Only then you will realize there were never enough time. I want to call them and tell them how I really feel. But that's impossible. The truth will hurt them far worse than my death. How it all started. What happened. I cant even tell anyone that its not their fault. This is how it should be. I did all I could to reduce their pain. But it will never be enough. Yet I am also glad that I no longer have to deal or tolerate anyone anymore. I am so sick of them all. Finally their incessant lies will end. At least for me.

Its causality. It cannot be change. People just.. living out the only way they knew how. Past and all it's facets shaped their future. They all merely fulfilling their roles in this world. I cannot blame anyone. All these anger and sorrow is meaningless. But I just cannot accept it as is. Are all those suffering necessary? Must they suffer in vain? Their voices unheard? Their misery forgotten by all? Bearing the sins that weren't theirs and doomed to continue it. In order for someone to win. Another must lose. In order for our desire to come true. Someone else must bear the consequences. To live is to condemn others. In then end we all pay. The worth of life. The worthlessness of life. What is all this? Only death can answer me.

I know my own sins. I remember it. The pain I caused. The consequences of it all. I wont forgive myself. I dont need it either. For desire are the root of our pain. Who is to blame but myself? After all its by my own choice I continue this life. So I must bear and accept the consequences that comes with it. Despite that. I finally have everything I ever wanted. But the cost of it make me wish I had died back then.

This world is beautiful despite it's flaws. To love. To experience. To find one's worth and reason to exist. Is nothing short of a miracle. To have any sort of certainty in this world and are able to hold onto it. Albeit a self deluding one. Is still a miracle nonetheless. I really dont want to die. I am scared. Scared out of my mind the closer its to the time. Feels like my body is trying to convince me not to. But we knew that I have to die. I cannot go back and live as I had before either. I no longer have anything I truly want or care about anymore. I am not that person anymore. Continuing living serve no purpose other than prolonging this pointless existence and repetitive madness. I wont delude myself or step on anyone else just to see another day.

I have been dragging this on for too long already. I wonder if he is laughing at me seeing me like this. Hahaha. So much I wish to say. So much I wish to tell. Yet bound by duty I must keep my silent. Bound by knowledge I must keep my distance. My truth. My desire. Here they cease to be. Either way its time. I am not letting all these wishes granted to me be in vain. This is my answer to life. This is how it must be.

Why I am saying all this? Well its for myself. For my resolve and as the proof that I existed.

And so it end, my midsummer night's dreams.
 
V

Vegrau

Wizard
Nov 27, 2018
669
1,655
Last thing. As for my method I will be using :

Cime 800mg.
Loraze pam 6mg.
SN 20+ g

Taking Lora first then Cime with few minutes in. Then wait at least 1 hour before SN. If I am not back that either mean I lost my memories (mind) or I am dead.

I wont be using meto or dom. Lora have anti nausea properties already. Dont follow me if youre not sure.
 
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V

Vegrau

Wizard
Nov 27, 2018
669
1,655
Sitting in my hotel room. Is nerve wracking to say the least.I dont really know what to do to pass the time. Even now I dont know when should I start taking the pills. What a joke. Hah. For me to fear death this much. I wish I can die in my own room. But then it will take them at least few days to find me. By then the decomposition wont be a pretty sight. Hahaha I feel like an idiot for being scared by this. All I feel is that there is not enough time. There's still so much I want to do. So much more I want to read and know. Wow greedy much? Perhaps I couldnt let go. Or perhaps my SI are working overtime just to spite me.

I want to live post my sn experience. But taking that much lorazepam might make it hard for me to stay awake at all. I do want to help that much.
 
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V

Vegrau

Wizard
Nov 27, 2018
669
1,655
Hope everything works out for you; thanks for taking the time to explain more about your SN findings
No problem. I just want to help and thank you for saying that. Talking with people ease my fear.
 
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D

Dystopia

Member
Jul 22, 2019
36
35
UK
Do you have a time planned or are just doing it when you feel ready today?
 
V

Vegrau

Wizard
Nov 27, 2018
669
1,655
Do you have a time planned or are just doing it when you feel ready today?
I planned to do it around midnight. But I keep postpone it until now. I dont know what I am scared of.

Edit : I think I know why now. Because in order to kill time I am reading some mangas. And I keep wanting to continue reading them to see their endings. It became an excuse for my SI to act up. Also thanks again for asking. People rarely ask me about things. Thanks for helping me putting things back in perspective.

I get affected by the most silly things. Its kind of stupid really. And romantic mangas didnt help at all.
 
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LifeOver

LifeOver

Professional Suicide Attempter
Jul 23, 2019
117
246
bus station: waiting for a bus
Thanks for your personal info regarding SN and good luck on your attempt! I plan on leaving using the same method in a couple of days, if possible.
 
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V

Vegrau

Wizard
Nov 27, 2018
669
1,655
Thanks for your personal info regarding SN and good luck on your attempt! I plan on leaving using the same method in a couple of days, if possible.
No problem and I hope everything goes smoothly for you as well. I hope you can find your resolve easier than me. I will type it here after I down the SN. So people know it has ended.
 
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M

malummo

Member
Jul 15, 2019
61
90
just reading this caused fear in me..you are an attitude person, your comments will be missed .. good luck
 
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V

Vegrau

Wizard
Nov 27, 2018
669
1,655
just reading this caused fear in me..you are an attitude person, your comments will be missed .. good luck
If I may ask what caused the fear? I am just too passionate sometime hahaha and thank you for saying that. I dont think many will miss me. I am not the most loveable person.
 
M

malummo

Member
Jul 15, 2019
61
90
yes, you write passionately. there will be no balance without you
 
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V

Vegrau

Wizard
Nov 27, 2018
669
1,655
yes, you write passionately. there will be no balance without you
I am glad we talk to day. Never thought anyone will think of me like that.. thank you and I am glad I got to hear it. But dont worry. Someone will replace me eventually. This is just how the world works...



I just down 6 mg of lora and 800mg of cime. Began to feel a little light in my head and heavy on my eye lids. Sight getting unfocused. Did lora worked this fast? Impressive. All thats left is me holding out for one hour before I took SN. Might do it faster if lora about to knock me out. Also going to pee first before I tool SN so I dont pee all over the bed after I die. Glad I fasted for more than 24 hours. I really dont want to dirty anything.
 
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Dreamcolleger

Dreamcolleger

I surrender... I SURRENDER!
Apr 26, 2019
182
295
You don't need to be scared, you're a man, raise your fists up!
 
LifeOver

LifeOver

Professional Suicide Attempter
Jul 23, 2019
117
246
bus station: waiting for a bus
How is it so far? Is the antiemetic/acid reducer making you feel uncomfortable? I heard some people say that one of the side effects is constantly needing to go to the restroom. Don't know if this is true for you.
 
D

Dystopia

Member
Jul 22, 2019
36
35
UK
I wonder if he already took SN, 6mg of Lorazepam normally works pretty fast (5-30 mins onset)
 
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Burzolog

Burzolog

Arcanist
Apr 5, 2018
524
554
Haunted shores of Dawnstar
Are you from Poland if you don't mind me asking? I think it's noon there already... Anyway, It's been a pleasure to hear your voice. I wonder how many of them would forever be silent... Having the "eyes" far above "hands". They are always higher of course, and what differs is the gap between them. I didn't expect to see that side of yours, hahah. Hopefully it's a good sign. I don't know why I even started to write this... not that it matters. I feel like it had to be done, so why the hell not.
 
bluesky1972-2019

bluesky1972-2019

Wise
May 21, 2019
232
455
I hope you found the peace you were seeking. Farewell. Hoping to follow you soon using SN.
 
A

Alec

Veteran
Apr 22, 2019
164
309
You sound like a beautiful soul, I hope you find what you are looking for and maybe we’ll meet on the other side, if there is one. I think I’d like to meet you and get to know you.❤
And thank you so much for sharing your knowledge about SN with us, I’m sure it will help a lot of us!❤
 
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W

wendydong1

PM me if you are looking for a partner
Jul 31, 2019
83
75
Last thing. As for my method I will be using :

Cime 800mg.
Loraze pam 6mg.
SN 20+ g

Taking Lora first then Cime with few minutes in. Then wait at least 1 hour before SN. If I am not back that either mean I lost my memories (mind) or I am dead.

I wont be using meto or dom. Lora have anti nausea properties already. Dont follow me if youre not sure.
hopefully you have CTBed peacefully. Without Meto....
 
V

vonvonwantpeace

Member
Jul 26, 2019
32
32
Hey vegrau, Thank you, rest in paradise!
 
B

Baskol1

No life, no problems
Aug 11, 2019
720
794
20
I don’t know, but he didn’t use meto so there’s a possibility he’s still alive but I’m not sure.
I mean he would not be the first here to end up again in a psychiatric hospital. That is too why i did not commit suicide yet. I must be sure i will not survive it.
 

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