SN fear

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APharmaDestroyedLife

APharmaDestroyedLife

Your RX drugs are likely your real problem
Nov 4, 2019
293
741
I no longer believe that co2 is an issue as the effect of SN is gradual and most people will have passed out before anything uncomfortable occurs. The most distressing symptoms are a headache which most described as nothing unbearable, nausea which probably should be expected, fast heart rate, throat burning. I imagine this is a good trade off for some such as me but not others who want a more peaceful method or faster method.
I really want to believe the CO 2 is not an issue, and that the gasping for air and other observations made during Moons exit were occuring when her brain was already shut down enough to barely be aware of it.

The burning throat or stomach pain is not really a big issue for me. I just really hope that there is no feeling of suffocation because somehow SN prevents the body from moving C0 2. I think around 10 minutes Moon said 3 barely audible words that were reported as "fuck,fuck,fuck" that could be percieved 2 ways i suppose. 1) she was already unaware and unconscious or 2) she was feeling a great deal of distress but could not make her body move or function properly.

I know our bodies can do a lot off odd things we are not aware of when we die.
 
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J

JSauter

Veteran
Oct 14, 2019
145
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I really want to believe the CO 2 is not an issue, and that the gasping for air and other observations made during Moons exit were occuring when her brain was already shut down enough to barely be aware of it.

The burning throat or stomach pain is not really a big issue for me. I just really hope that there is no feeling of suffocation because somehow SN prevents the body from moving C0 2. I think around 10 minutes Moon said 3 barely audible words that were reported as "fuck,fuck,fuck" that could be percieved 2 ways i suppose. 1) she was already unaware and unconscious or 2) she was feeling a great deal of distress but could not make her body move or function properly.

I know our bodies can do a lot off odd things we are not aware of when we die.
There was a case of an Indian family of 4 who all took sodium nitrite to successfully poison themselves. The father had his arm over his head as if he had gone to sleep. I would imagine if he had been dealing with suffocation that he would have been in a panicked state and not have ended up in this position. I believe the children were given the SN, but were not aware that it would end their lives - in such a case, you could imagine that they'd get out of bed in panic, as well - but they are still in the bed. There are images - they are not gruesome or gory, nevertheless they are police photos of the deceased. Yes, I'm aware of how insensitive and intrusive it is to post pictures of another family like this, but these photos were released in dozens of Indian publications, and if they're already out there, maybe they can serve some utility. I'll post them under the spoiler tag.

Let me know what you think.




https://suicide.wiki/w/Sodium_Nitrite#Success_stories_on_the_news -<--- Story #12 with corresponding news sources.
 
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WhyamIstillhere

WhyamIstillhere

Member
Jan 27, 2020
36
63
There was a case of an Indian family of 4 who all took sodium nitrite to successfully poison themselves. The father had his arm over his head as if he had gone to sleep. I would imagine if he had been dealing with suffocation that he would have been in a panicked state and not have ended up in this position. I believe the children were given the SN, but were not aware that it would end their lives - in such a case, you could imagine that they'd get out of bed in panic, as well - but they are still in the bed. There are images - they are not gruesome or gory, but they of police photos of the deceased. Yes, I'm aware of how insensitive and intrusive it is to post pictures of another family like this - but these photos were released in dozens of Indian publications, and if they're already out there, maybe they can serve some utility. I'll post them under the spoiler tag.

Let me know what you think.


That’s really fucked up and I don’t condone parents murdering their children, but imagine being tricked into taking SN, not knowing you’d die, and actually being suicidal. That’d be the dream, lol.
 
J

JSauter

Veteran
Oct 14, 2019
145
371
That’s really fucked up and I don’t condone parents murdering their children, but imagine being tricked into taking SN, not knowing you’d die, and actually being suicidal. That’d be the dream, lol.

I actually take back what I said about them taking the SN and being unaware it would end their lives. I thought I recalled some info regarding them not knowing, but I do not know for sure and don't want to state anything as fact in the absence of certainty.
 
O

Otter

Member
Feb 10, 2020
59
56
I wrote this shortly after a member used SN. I then decided not to post it and took a break from this site.

This seems like a good place to post it.


This will be my last post regarding SN as I feel I have exhausted my opinion ( which has changed over time). I figured this was an appropriate place to post my latest thoughts and research on SN.

I want to point out that while I started off highly critical of this method, I have never been affraid to be wrong or change my mind regarding any aspect of my life. In just a few weeks I did infact change my mind from "no way" to "viable". However, I did not stop researching SN. I read about pigs and their anatomy, how other mammals react to SN. I tried to go deeper into SN than just for the purpose we talk about. Looking into how it works on meat and also what other elements react with SN. Carbon Dioxide came up a lot. When I found out about the action of SN on CO 2 (Carbon Dioxide) I started to shift back to being unsure of this method. This research raised some red flags for me.

Why Carbon Dioxide is important is I think there is a huge misconseption that if you are able to move your lungs and take in fresh O2 there is no feeling of suffocation. However, the feeling of Suffocation actually has nothing to do with Oxygen.

Our bodies have a unique built in Carbon Dioxode Alarm. We are hardwired to go into panic mode and feel as if we are suffocating when our bodies are exposed to to much Carbon Dioxide. Or we are unable to move and expel Carbon Dioxide from our blood and through the lungs at a fast enough rate to be in balance with our Oxygen intake.

If you use a site like Researchgate.net , or just dig deep enough on other research , chemistry, and medical websites. You can find a lot of information about SN , many of them state that SN causes impairment of not just O 2 transport but CO 2 transport as well.

This has been my biggest fear and concern with SN. If your body is unable to get rid of Carbon Dioxide , even if you are breathing in and out, your Body will trigger its Suffocation Alarm. There is no way to guarantee you will be unconscious before to much CO 2 build up takes place.

Because of this and other variables I will cover below. I do not think the peacefulness of this method to me can be assigned a numeric value. I would say it is (x) where (x) is the value of the Individual. Therefore it is impossible to tell how any 1 individual will respond, or establish any realistic baseline.

In my opinion Exit International has been extremely reckless with its claims on this method, and has not even looked at the CO 2 side of this.

The CO 2 issue for me is the most important unknown, because it will no doubt be a key factor in the Peacefullness catagory. If oxygen deprivation is taking place at a slower pace than CO 2 Elimination is occuring a person would indeed have some sensations of being suffocated.

As I said , I started off thinking SN was a poor choice, I then changed my mind based on conversations , member posts, and documents from not just SS and Exit but other sources. Now I am back to thinking this method is just not reliable for the Peacefulness requirement to be met in every case, mainly due to the (x) factor.

It is true there are unknowns in every method. Some people just succumb quicker than others. However with SN the unknowns and the vastly different experiences make it almost impossible to even set a margin or base line to work with. The way a person responds to SN truly seems to be all over the place in almost every catagory that most people care about. Those being: Peacefulness, Time, and Suffering.

With SN the varibales that factor into a persons response to SN seem to play a much larger role than in other methods. Just some of those variables that make up (x) are: Metabolism, Blood Pressure, existing pulmonary conditions, existing digestive issues , genetics , existing blood disorders, medications, red blood cell turn over rate, the liver enyme bilirueben, blood iron levels, tissue iron levels, and the bodies current PH level could all very well cause complications with this method. Most of these variables would not have nearly as much significance in other methods.

I think we need to be realistic about the possibility that this is not as peaceful as Exit wants us to believe. This is not a fine tuned and dialed in method, and honestly because of the variables it may never be. It may provide a peaceful and quick exit for some, others may have a very different experience.

As I see it, SS has done far more research on this than Exit, and I appreciate all of the people who I have spoken with on this method, I respect all your opinions and insights.

Based on accounts of members of this forum, as well as Exit, and my efforts to sort through the prolife propaganda on the internet and uncover real scientific information. I have come to my own conclusion and want to emphasize 2 main points.

1) SN can go in many different directions regardless of preparation or lack of preparation because of all the variables (and more) that I listed above.

2) More information about how SN interacts with the transport and elimination of CO 2 in relation to O2 needs to be uncovered and considered.

It is impossible to know what a person is actually feeling during some of what appears to be some of the more distressing symptoms. This of course is true in any act of dying.

I am not trying to convince anyone of anything with this post, I am a person who believes in choice, but I also believe in protecting people, it is the claims and initial research of Exit that has put this method on the radar. I believe The last thing a person who is suffering deserves is a false promise of a peaceful exit only to possibly suffer in the end.

In my Opinion there is danger in taking on a "label" and never question it. Be it ProChoice or ProLife, Republican or Democrat. The danger exists because some people will take an extreme stance and become the face of that movement.

When a person goes from being 'Pro-anything" to an extremist of that cause, they begin to see things through a very narrow lens. I believe this is true of Exit International.

As we lost another wonderful member, I can't help but think that she deserved a better end than : a Burning throat, burning stomach, vomiting, and gasping for air. These are not things I would associate with Peaceful. For me personally, gasping for Air would induce anxiety, fear, and panic and for me those symptoms are far worse than any physical pain.

Moon, I hope you are in a better place now, dancing on the moon showered in starlight and smiling down on us. I am deeply sorry for what you experienced. At least now you are out of pain. I Wish you had stayed with us.

Finaly, in the short time I have been here I have come to care greatly for this forum and it's members , I do not wish any of you suffering in life or in death.

......

In my research I have discovered that SN is coming under heavy investigation as a major contributing factor to the formation of Cancer Cells. SN is being used in so many products, and in some countries if the amount is under a certain microgram, the manufacturer does not have to list it as an ingredient. So in a way SN is going to kill a lot of humans through low dose chronic exposure, especially in countries that have diets made up of processed foods.
thank you for taking up so much time writing such a long valuable detailed post. I am bookmarking it!
 
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APharmaDestroyedLife

APharmaDestroyedLife

Your RX drugs are likely your real problem
Nov 4, 2019
293
741
There was a case of an Indian family of 4 who all took sodium nitrite to successfully poison themselves. The father had his arm over his head as if he had gone to sleep. I would imagine if he had been dealing with suffocation that he would have been in a panicked state and not have ended up in this position. I believe the children were given the SN, but were not aware that it would end their lives - in such a case, you could imagine that they'd get out of bed in panic, as well - but they are still in the bed. There are images - they are not gruesome or gory, nevertheless they are police photos of the deceased. Yes, I'm aware of how insensitive and intrusive it is to post pictures of another family like this, but these photos were released in dozens of Indian publications, and if they're already out there, maybe they can serve some utility. I'll post them under the spoiler tag.

Let me know what you think.




https://suicide.wiki/w/Sodium_Nitrite#Success_stories_on_the_news -<--- Story #12 with corresponding news sources.
That is actually a really good point.
 
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EmptyArms

EmptyArms

Veteran
Dec 1, 2019
148
402
I wrote this shortly after a member used SN. I then decided not to post it and took a break from this site.

This seems like a good place to post it.


This will be my last post regarding SN as I feel I have exhausted my opinion ( which has changed over time). I figured this was an appropriate place to post my latest thoughts and research on SN.

I want to point out that while I started off highly critical of this method, I have never been affraid to be wrong or change my mind regarding any aspect of my life. In just a few weeks I did infact change my mind from "no way" to "viable". However, I did not stop researching SN. I read about pigs and their anatomy, how other mammals react to SN. I tried to go deeper into SN than just for the purpose we talk about. Looking into how it works on meat and also what other elements react with SN. Carbon Dioxide came up a lot. When I found out about the action of SN on CO 2 (Carbon Dioxide) I started to shift back to being unsure of this method. This research raised some red flags for me.

Why Carbon Dioxide is important is I think there is a huge misconseption that if you are able to move your lungs and take in fresh O2 there is no feeling of suffocation. However, the feeling of Suffocation actually has nothing to do with Oxygen.

Our bodies have a unique built in Carbon Dioxode Alarm. We are hardwired to go into panic mode and feel as if we are suffocating when our bodies are exposed to to much Carbon Dioxide. Or we are unable to move and expel Carbon Dioxide from our blood and through the lungs at a fast enough rate to be in balance with our Oxygen intake.

If you use a site like Researchgate.net , or just dig deep enough on other research , chemistry, and medical websites. You can find a lot of information about SN , many of them state that SN causes impairment of not just O 2 transport but CO 2 transport as well.

This has been my biggest fear and concern with SN. If your body is unable to get rid of Carbon Dioxide , even if you are breathing in and out, your Body will trigger its Suffocation Alarm. There is no way to guarantee you will be unconscious before to much CO 2 build up takes place.

Because of this and other variables I will cover below. I do not think the peacefulness of this method to me can be assigned a numeric value. I would say it is (x) where (x) is the value of the Individual. Therefore it is impossible to tell how any 1 individual will respond, or establish any realistic baseline.

In my opinion Exit International has been extremely reckless with its claims on this method, and has not even looked at the CO 2 side of this.

The CO 2 issue for me is the most important unknown, because it will no doubt be a key factor in the Peacefullness catagory. If oxygen deprivation is taking place at a slower pace than CO 2 Elimination is occuring a person would indeed have some sensations of being suffocated.

As I said , I started off thinking SN was a poor choice, I then changed my mind based on conversations , member posts, and documents from not just SS and Exit but other sources. Now I am back to thinking this method is just not reliable for the Peacefulness requirement to be met in every case, mainly due to the (x) factor.

It is true there are unknowns in every method. Some people just succumb quicker than others. However with SN the unknowns and the vastly different experiences make it almost impossible to even set a margin or base line to work with. The way a person responds to SN truly seems to be all over the place in almost every catagory that most people care about. Those being: Peacefulness, Time, and Suffering.

With SN the varibales that factor into a persons response to SN seem to play a much larger role than in other methods. Just some of those variables that make up (x) are: Metabolism, Blood Pressure, existing pulmonary conditions, existing digestive issues , genetics , existing blood disorders, medications, red blood cell turn over rate, the liver enyme bilirueben, blood iron levels, tissue iron levels, and the bodies current PH level could all very well cause complications with this method. Most of these variables would not have nearly as much significance in other methods.

I think we need to be realistic about the possibility that this is not as peaceful as Exit wants us to believe. This is not a fine tuned and dialed in method, and honestly because of the variables it may never be. It may provide a peaceful and quick exit for some, others may have a very different experience.

As I see it, SS has done far more research on this than Exit, and I appreciate all of the people who I have spoken with on this method, I respect all your opinions and insights.

Based on accounts of members of this forum, as well as Exit, and my efforts to sort through the prolife propaganda on the internet and uncover real scientific information. I have come to my own conclusion and want to emphasize 2 main points.

1) SN can go in many different directions regardless of preparation or lack of preparation because of all the variables (and more) that I listed above.

2) More information about how SN interacts with the transport and elimination of CO 2 in relation to O2 needs to be uncovered and considered.

It is impossible to know what a person is actually feeling during some of what appears to be some of the more distressing symptoms. This of course is true in any act of dying.

I am not trying to convince anyone of anything with this post, I am a person who believes in choice, but I also believe in protecting people, it is the claims and initial research of Exit that has put this method on the radar. I believe The last thing a person who is suffering deserves is a false promise of a peaceful exit only to possibly suffer in the end.

In my Opinion there is danger in taking on a "label" and never question it. Be it ProChoice or ProLife, Republican or Democrat. The danger exists because some people will take an extreme stance and become the face of that movement.

When a person goes from being 'Pro-anything" to an extremist of that cause, they begin to see things through a very narrow lens. I believe this is true of Exit International.

As we lost another wonderful member, I can't help but think that she deserved a better end than : a Burning throat, burning stomach, vomiting, and gasping for air. These are not things I would associate with Peaceful. For me personally, gasping for Air would induce anxiety, fear, and panic and for me those symptoms are far worse than any physical pain.

Moon, I hope you are in a better place now, dancing on the moon showered in starlight and smiling down on us. I am deeply sorry for what you experienced. At least now you are out of pain. I Wish you had stayed with us.

Finaly, in the short time I have been here I have come to care greatly for this forum and it's members , I do not wish any of you suffering in life or in death.

......

In my research I have discovered that SN is coming under heavy investigation as a major contributing factor to the formation of Cancer Cells. SN is being used in so many products, and in some countries if the amount is under a certain microgram, the manufacturer does not have to list it as an ingredient. So in a way SN is going to kill a lot of humans through low dose chronic exposure, especially in countries that have diets made up of processed foods.
This is a well thought out and balanced piece. Well done, there is real place for this I think. I wish everyone reading everything else available here on SN would include this in their research.
 
Chronicillness

Chronicillness

Member
Jun 19, 2018
93
205
I really want to believe the CO 2 is not an issue, and that the gasping for air and other observations made during Moons exit were occuring when her brain was already shut down enough to barely be aware of it.

The burning throat or stomach pain is not really a big issue for me. I just really hope that there is no feeling of suffocation because somehow SN prevents the body from moving C0 2. I think around 10 minutes Moon said 3 barely audible words that were reported as "fuck,fuck,fuck" that could be percieved 2 ways i suppose. 1) she was already unaware and unconscious or 2) she was feeling a great deal of distress but could not make her body move or function properly.

I know our bodies can do a lot off odd things we are not aware of when we die.
Was Moonie's exit video recorded?
 
stevieu

stevieu

~ Sleepwalking through every day ~
Feb 10, 2020
32
45
I'm pretty terrified of gasping for air/suffocating whilst conscious. Also the vomiting part and being either found incapaciated or having to ring for an ambulance myself due to severe discomfort.

I wish I didn't think things over so much ;-;
 
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APharmaDestroyedLife

APharmaDestroyedLife

Your RX drugs are likely your real problem
Nov 4, 2019
293
741
I'm pretty terrified of gasping for air/suffocating whilst conscious. Also the vomiting part and being either found incapaciated or having to ring for an ambulance myself due to severe discomfort.

I wish I didn't think things over so much ;-;
Me 2. I overthink everything
I'm pretty terrified of gasping for air/suffocating whilst conscious. Also the vomiting part and being either found incapaciated or having to ring for an ambulance myself due to severe discomfort.

I wish I didn't think things over so much ;-;
I am not sure, there is a transcript of the event. I doubt it was recorded as I do not know what type of liability the person on the other side could be charged with. I have no knowledge of a video existing, I just read the minute by minute transcript.
Was Moonie's exit video recorded?
Was Moonie's exit video recorded?
 
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Shinbu

Shinbu

Shiki
Nov 24, 2019
184
312
I really want to believe the CO 2 is not an issue, and that the gasping for air and other observations made during Moons exit were occuring when her brain was already shut down enough to barely be aware of it.

The burning throat or stomach pain is not really a big issue for me. I just really hope that there is no feeling of suffocation because somehow SN prevents the body from moving C0 2. I think around 10 minutes Moon said 3 barely audible words that were reported as "fuck,fuck,fuck" that could be percieved 2 ways i suppose. 1) she was already unaware and unconscious or 2) she was feeling a great deal of distress but could not make her body move or function properly.

I know our bodies can do a lot off odd things we are not aware of when we die.
Well fasting is a step for SN. Maybe she said fuck x3 because she was very hungry. I'll probably be like that too I'd imagine, and maybe she felt dizzy too.
 
lunarpoppies420

lunarpoppies420

Wise
Oct 14, 2019
285
762
I'm just waiting until I actually know the schedules of everyone in the house 3 days in advance so I can minimize chance of discovery. That and I'm helping a friend financially and I can't do this until I know he's taken care of.
 
M

martin8383784

Member
Dec 27, 2019
71
111
Yes fear is essential part of any method. All methods have their flaws and failure chance unless you can go to Dignitas or somewhere where human euthanasia is legalized. As our society is very immature to properly acknowledge mental illness, we need to rely on alternative, error-prone methods. But this is the best we have.

As I tried with full and partial hanging (haven’t given up on full though), SN is my next choice for which I now have all the ingredients. Given that to take your life one needs to risk, I think I’ll give it a try. And yes, death and dying itself are scary concepts, but the Sun rising up and the next day coming with its challenges, anxiety and misery is scarier to me.
 
littlelady856

littlelady856

My heart hurts
Dec 20, 2018
418
2,052
I really hope there’s not a sense of air hunger or suffocation with this method... You think PN would’ve mentioned something like that in the ppeh as it would be very distressing
 
LMLN

LMLN

Master
Aug 10, 2019
433
2,203
I really hope there’s not a sense of air hunger or suffocation with this method... You think PN would’ve mentioned something like that in the ppeh as it would be very distressing
I dont think there is. Does CO poisoning include air hunger? I heard that the way SN works is similar to CO poisoning.
 
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J

JSauter

Veteran
Oct 14, 2019
145
371
I assume it's like fainting from low blood pressure or anemia - You don't feel like you're suffocating, but you know you're not getting something in your system.
 
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littlelady856

littlelady856

My heart hurts
Dec 20, 2018
418
2,052
I dont think there is. Dies CO poisoning include air hunger? I heard that the way SN works is similar to CO poisoning.
When lactic acidosis sets in with CO poisoning, there is shortness of breath. But I don’t know how bad it is. And usually people are unconscious by that point anyway
 
voyager

voyager

Don't you dare go hollow...
Nov 25, 2019
380
696
The way a person responds to SN truly seems to be all over the place in almost every catagory that most people care about. Those being: Peacefulness, Time, and Suffering.

Good post, and nice to see you around, APDL. The above pretty much sums it up for me, as did this thread. I was reading your arguments and being swayed to your side, only to read further arguments by others and end up as clueless as ever. Ever since I've been on this board it's been this way, but I appreciate the discussion every time. I'm too ignorant for the technical side of things, but I have heard one can suffocate without being aware of it, and that was/is my impression with SN and methemoglobinemia, depriving the body of oxygen while not actually feeling "strangled" as such.

I've only been able to draw three conclusions; One, it's different for everyone, two, it'll most likely kill you, but it might be unpleasant, and three, no matter what anyone says, it's probably different when we're under ourselves, even while unconscious. Dying is such a unique experience that no one knows what it's really like.

JSauter raised a good point, imo. Group suicides. I had the highest faith in SN when BB and JT used it, simply because they were together. If it is indeed different for everyone, surely one of them would have panicked and had time to call emergency services. Just one case ofc, but when one takes in others (like the one above) it becomes a pattern. Are they maybe paralysed? Dunno, maybe that's a risk one has to take, but I do feel the threat of feeling suffocated is minimal considering no one has reported it. Seems unreasonable to consider everyone fakers, even if we're betting our life on it.

One good reason to have faith in SN being a somewhat peaceful and effective method is actually the fact that pro life groups are trying to ban it. Seems a very reliable seal of validation. :happy:


What worries me:

Personally SN is not my ideal method. I have it, I'm considering it, but really I'd like to go within an instant. I don't want to prepare or use medications. I don't want to wait for it to kick in, no pain or si possibly manipulating me. I've had all my life to contemplate suicide, don't want to do it in possibly immense pain. To me that isn't a change of mind, just desperation. I want my last thoughts to be free.

Tachycardia, no doubt, this is something which can be uncomfortable. Have a healthy heart apparently, but due to hypothyroidism I've had moments when my heart was giving out symptoms close to a heart attack. it's not painful as such, but it does bring one unease. Issues at one's heart simply makes one feel extremely uncomfortable and vulnerable.

Someone mentioned scam, same, this is a feeling I cannot shake completely. I got mine the same place others did, but what if it as mishandled, diluted, or exchanged because the seller figured what I was planning? Probably just paranoia and know there are means of testing it, but still.

Blindness, this probably scares me the most. Losing my eyesight or becoming a quadriplegic are the worst things I can imagine (losing my hearing too, but that wouldn't stop me from ctb). Thing is I've been thinking of doing it deep in the woods, now just imagine me going blind and it sounds like something out of a nightmare. Thought about keeping a noose or knife at hand.
 
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APharmaDestroyedLife

APharmaDestroyedLife

Your RX drugs are likely your real problem
Nov 4, 2019
293
741
Good post, and nice to see you around, APDL. The above pretty much sums it up for me, as did this thread.
Ultimately it will probably be the way I go. Its just that almost everyone has a different account of the symptoms and pain. So there is no guarantee what any one person will feel. I was pretty much over the fear of the feeling of suffocation, then I read Moonies last moments, and I cant help but wonder if she was aware while gasping for air... then other who have survived report no air hunger at all. Some just report severe stomach pain. If I could be sure all I would feel is Physical pain for 10 minutes , it would be of great comfort. Physical pain I can deal with... what I dont want is to feel short of breath. Those types of symptoms are no different than a panic attack to me, and would surely trigger one. I hate to think my last moments on this earth would be in full blown Panic...

Like you I can see both sides of this discussion. Even though some people think I am fear mongering , I am just being realistic. Ultimately I think this method has no baseline, and can be peaceful, but it can also be miserable, and no amount of preparation or lack of preparation seems to determine the individual experience.
 
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voyager

voyager

Don't you dare go hollow...
Nov 25, 2019
380
696
Didn't see it as fear mongering, and considering the seriousness of the matter it's probably best to keep an open mind. At most it's perhaps your personal fears getting the better of you. But I think that's perfectly natural, because all of us have phobias or personal reservations based on specifics when it comes to ctb.

Just read Moonie's SN documentation again, and it does mention gasping, thus it's a rational fear. Says she gasped for air, but then took off her headset, so she must have still been in control at that point and it was bearable. Didn't talk though. Of course it eventually leads to her gasping for air and all kind of respiratory problems, but it also says that this was within two minutes of her sleeping. I suppose the moment she opened her eyes is what may seem like consciousness. Can't say. Overall I'd say it's leaning more towards physical pain or a body in turmoil, and by the time she is indeed gasping she would have no longer been in a state of mind for panic attacks. Don't mean to mitigate your fears though, wouldn't forgive myself it were indeed the case. Only you can judge if it's a risk you're willing to take. Would be simpler if we could administer the antidote ourselves. What I would assume though, is that she's showing no signs of suffocation (meaning the dreaded feeling now) while she was still visibly conscious and able to communicate.
 
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RitaM

RitaM

Mountaineer
Aug 26, 2018
136
470
I’m afraid of vomiting, being unable to breathe and tachycardia. I had a (now cured) heart condition which caused tachycardia at rates of 300bpm. My resting heart rate is quite high at present, between 80-100. I have one 40mg beta blocker I could use but I’m not sure it’s enough.

I’m also afraid of being awake long enough to panic and call an ambulance, leading to psychiatric hospital etc.

I don’t know what to do. My SI is too high for jumping or a train. I might try partial again but I’m not convinced it’s possible, much like you can’t deliberately suffocate yourself. SI will kick in and I’ll pull back. Already tried full suspension but I woke up flat on my back on the floor some time later (clearly fell down somehow, must have clawed the noose off me) and was left with a neck injury, horrible red marks to my neck which I had to cover up and I lost my voice from the pressure of the rope. It was also excruciatingly painful, the parts I remember.

I woke up having what I think was an asthma attack today and my first thought (I’m very depressed at the moment) was, did I take SN in a haze? And then, is this what it will feel like if I do?

There seem to be so many variables and so many ways it wouldn’t be peaceful. I just want to take it and drift off but that doesn’t seem likely.
 
Melkus2020

Melkus2020

Veteran
Feb 19, 2020
139
152
I don’t have any. It’s relatively quick and painless with no permanent injury if you fail. I only am scared of vomiting it out or someone catching me.
 
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Csmith8827

Csmith8827

"It's all just a dream"
Oct 26, 2019
62
93
Sn is trash IMO. Fuck a rapid heartbeat (this isn't a meth overdose), fuck breathing issues (just fuck that), and fuck vomiting (wayyyyy trashy).
I'm more worried about what death will entail. The cessation of (my) existence. The incongruity between me understanding of all existence as ended (because my senses are the only things I know about) and the fact that life will most likely go on even when I'm gone (I'm no solipsist).

Compared to that the possible symptoms sound very mild, but will probably be very scary at the time. I have no access to Benzos or anything similar to calm me down.
Solipsism is crazy but what if it were partially true? In a god-theory/matrix/many-worlds/multiverse view? Like you live in a "dream-world" but the dream is God and your isolated from other real human beings. (Thus "matrix" ideology) Complex to explain but truth for me...but since I'm Jedi....

You have to unmute it because I time coded it at the start cause you'll miss it! So unmute and reply from where I started it. Or it works cause this site is Jedi? Anyway that's my blueprint of existence. Love you all. I is Einstein. It's absurd because you're apart of my dream. ;)

And so I give you God!:
 
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Melkus2020

Melkus2020

Veteran
Feb 19, 2020
139
152
Sn is trash IMO. Fuck a rapid heartbeat (this isn't a meth overdose), fuck breathing issues (just fuck that), and fuck vomiting (wayyyyy trashy).
SN causes extreme vasodilation so you would be drowsy then pass out way before death. There shouldn’t be any vomiting if you take dopamine blockers and you would be calm with pain medication or benzodiazepines depending on how much you plan to take before. If you don’t have many options then SN is a decent, humane way to CTB.
 
Quarky00

Quarky00

Illuminated
Dec 17, 2019
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If your body is unable to get rid of Carbon Dioxide , even if you are breathing in and out, your Body will trigger its Suffocation Alarm. There is no way to guarantee you will be unconscious before to much CO 2 build up takes place.

If oxygen deprivation is taking place at a slower pace than CO 2 Elimination is occuring a person would indeed have some sensations of being suffocated.
If you ARE breathing out, why won't you get rid of CO2 . metHb carry neither O2 nor CO2 . But most CO2 is not removed by Hb but by bicarbonate buffer system . During that process cells without oxygen turn to anaerobic metabolism . There shouldn't be CO2 accumulation .


most of CO2 is rapidly removed from the tissues by hydration to bicarbonate ion. The bicarbonate ion present in the blood plasma is transported to the lungs, where it is dehydrated back into CO2 and released during exhalation. These hydration and dehydration conversions of CO2 are normally very slow
I.e. removal of CO2 is by bicarbonate ion in the blood -- which continues -- until circulatory failure .

That post's CO2 ideas , about "suffocation" , are really unfounded .