Slowly thankful I failed

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Alyatl

Alyatl

borderline and buyin time
Apr 15, 2020
27
75
Excuse my sappy post but, after attempting to ctb 9 times in a month, I’m starting to become thankful that I failed. My relationships are mending, my therapists and psychiatrist are saying I’m doing an insanely good job and me and my ex are slowly on talking terms again. I’ve stopped blaming myself for things that happened to me, accepting I’m a victim and it’s not my fault.

This week I almost drank myself to death, my blood alcohol level was 0.40% I was so close, but waking up and slowly recovering I realize I’m thankful I’m still here. Spending time with friends, being in nature and listening to music, it’s the really really simple things that I’m embracing. My province is slowly lifting quarantine restrictions and it just seems like life is a little less hopeless. I feel like it’ll take something small to knock me back into it but I’m realizing I’m strong, I’ve overcome so much shit and I’m so thankful.

I’m in tears writing this, I dunno this is the biggest gust of positivity I’ve had in so long, I never thought I could feel even remotely hopeful again. I’ve gotten so much support on here and it really does mean the world to me, I’m so thankful for you all<3
 
AngelGospel

AngelGospel

Member
Apr 9, 2020
14
23
Thank you so much for sharing this, I hope you’re still doing well❤