Self anger at unable to CTB

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Curious89

Veteran
Oct 11, 2019
185
353
I was unhappy, sad, and now I'm getting angry at the fact that I am unable to CTB.

It's just too much for me to accept that I don't have the courage to CTB by any method yet.

It's making me really deeply angry inside.
 
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Inner_dialogue

-
May 19, 2020
35
126
I feel this so much. I’m angry that I let other people get in my head and stop me. I tried last weekend but had something someone said in my head constantly so I think that made me stop.... I think it’s normal to be angry though! I know it’s frustrating, and I understand it’s hard when all you want to do is ctb but there is something stopping you, deep down maybe there’s something?? Just me thinking out loud... but I think we also need to remember that suicide isn’t easy, it takes a long time of planning and preparation to be able to go through with it. Take some time to feel your emotions and figure out what it is that’s stopping you. Good luck
 
mathieu

mathieu

Enlightened
Jun 5, 2019
838
1,426
I feel this too. There's one method I think I can do, N, but most I just don't have the guts for and I hate myself for it. All my friends and family that have CTB'd makes me so envious and feel so weak.
 
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Realityisawful

Member
Apr 25, 2019
81
117
I think as time goes on, the more your horrible life beats you down, you will be able to override your instincts and successfully kill yourself.
 
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victoria91

Member
Jan 15, 2019
12
22
Hugs. I can really relate to you . I will force myself to have good days so no one suspects how I really feel but them I feel guilt ridden for being happy as it is a total lie.

Try not to beat yourself up about your feelings , survival instinct is powerful.
 
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