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Help Schooling and Mental Disorders. Advice?

Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

"So if you love me let me go" -snuff
Joined
Jul 1, 2020
Messages
1,259
ok so i got kicked out at the beginning of gr11. i was just a month or so away from taking my GED test and passing (i dont want to be egotistic or anything but if i failed my test id be surprised because ive always gotten As and Bs and the fact that this is basically the only thing stopping me makes it hurt that much more for me so i feel it should be added). i was so close. and then my mental disorders started to make themselves known and i just couldnt concentrate, i couldnt remember what i was learning so i had to put it down. that was about 3-4 years ago (my timing on a lot of the things i say may be off because the disorders i have are horrible on my memory and bioclock but im typically roughly in the ballpark). lately, the past few days ive been starting to feel a little better and id really love to give my GEDs another shot but im scared. im worried that "what if i do and then all my disorders come rushing back? do i really want to do this on what could possibly be a false hope just making me feel worse then i did before because again ive failed at something i shouldnt have" and its not so much that my disorders arent there as ive kind of inferred but more that they arent messing with my memory or anything making me feel that if i were to try again as of right now i have a chance at succeeding at it. but what if my memory starts to fail me again and i have to put it all down. im not sure if i should try again or if i should wait a little bit longer to see how this plays out. and if i do wait how long should i wait? i have an appointment on the 22nd with my therapist i mean....at least wait until then....maybe??? im not sure.
 
VIBRITANNIA

VIBRITANNIA

lelouch | any pronouns
Joined
Aug 10, 2020
Messages
967
i think talking it over with your therapist is a good idea. they might be able to talk you through the process, or help solve some of your worries. if you do decide to go back to get your ged, i wish you luck.
 
Sinkinshyp

Sinkinshyp

Master
Joined
Sep 7, 2020
Messages
454
Like you my memory is shit (life support twice) but I am in the general ballpark when trying to remember back. I quit school at 16. I went after my ged about 24/25 for my older son. I had intended to go to college for veterinarian. I graduated with my GED about 25 even was given a scholarship for a yr of trade school. It was a very proud moment- that I actually got my GED, that my son saw it and I was chosen for that yr of trade school. I did not take the offer for trade school so the 2nd person benefitted from it. I did go to college for a short bit- had a miscarriage and depression stopped me from returning. I regret not going back. If I had an education and a decent job instead of my cleaning service life would have been much easier. If I had a chance to go back I would have gotten an education maybe not a vet but something that would have been financially better.

You're young. No reason to rush it if you don't feel ready. Don't set yourself up for a failure you don't need.. but if you do fail you can always try again when things improve. One benefit of youth=) I bet if you look up ged prep videos youll find some youtube vids of lessons for ged. Maybe see if you can focus with those for now? if you can't you know you need more time.
 
Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

"So if you love me let me go" -snuff
Joined
Jul 1, 2020
Messages
1,259
Like you my memory is shit (life support twice) but I am in the general ballpark when trying to remember back. I quit school at 16. I went after my ged about 24/25 for my older son. I had intended to go to college for veterinarian. I graduated with my GED about 25 even was given a scholarship for a yr of trade school. It was a very proud moment- that I actually got my GED, that my son saw it and I was chosen for that yr of trade school. I did not take the offer for trade school so the 2nd person benefitted from it. I did go to college for a short bit- had a miscarriage and depression stopped me from returning. I regret not going back. If I had an education and a decent job instead of my cleaning service life would have been much easier. If I had a chance to go back I would have gotten an education maybe not a vet but something that would have been financially better.

You're young. No reason to rush it if you don't feel ready. Don't set yourself up for a failure you don't need.. but if you do fail you can always try again when things improve. One benefit of youth=) I bet if you look up ged prep videos youll find some youtube vids of lessons for ged. Maybe see if you can focus with those for now? if you can't you know you need more time.
actually im more of a watching/doing it myself type learner so i have my own big giant book of everything that i bought back then. its just a matter of reopening it but i fear that it will cause me stress. something like "i know this but i cant do this"
 
Sinkinshyp

Sinkinshyp

Master
Joined
Sep 7, 2020
Messages
454
actually im more of a watching/doing it myself type learner so i have my own big giant book of everything that i bought back then. its just a matter of reopening it but i fear that it will cause me stress. something like "i know this but i cant do this"
don't put pressure on yourself to rush it. You again have the gift of youth- and have all the time you need to work on your ged. Set a goal hey before I'm 25 or 35 whatever a age a few years away- I'll have my ged that gives a ton of time to do it and should you get your ged long before than you can really feel much more accomplished! occasionally open the book see if you can focus on it. If you can't put it away. Don't say I can't do it and feel like you failed. Just open it with hmm lets see will I be able to focus or will I need to wait. One day you might find you can focus on it and before you know it you'll have that ged in your hands..
 
Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

"So if you love me let me go" -snuff
Joined
Jul 1, 2020
Messages
1,259
don't put pressure on yourself to rush it. You again have the gift of youth- and have all the time you need to work on your ged. Set a goal hey before I'm 25 or 35 whatever a age a few years away- I'll have my ged that gives a ton of time to do it and should you get your ged long before than you can really feel much more accomplished! occasionally open the book see if you can focus on it. If you can't put it away. Don't say I can't do it and feel like you failed. Just open it with hmm lets see will I be able to focus or will I need to wait. One day you might find you can focus on it and before you know it you'll have that ged in your hands..
you really are awesome. the only good thing ive found about being suicidal is meeting people like you :heart: :hug:
 
Sinkinshyp

Sinkinshyp

Master
Joined
Sep 7, 2020
Messages
454
you really are awesome. the only good thing ive found about being suicidal is meeting people like you :heart: :hug:
making me blush now... I don't want to be selfish and take all my life lessons with me. I want to share and hopefully help someone out there. Maybe what I've been through has a reason and someone out there can benefit from it. And I will say this forum has many amazing people like you. I have never felt so much compassion and I fit in somewhere as I do here
 
almost_dead

almost_dead

Specialist
Joined
Aug 7, 2020
Messages
399
ok so i got kicked out at the beginning of gr11. i was just a month or so away from taking my GED test and passing (i dont want to be egotistic or anything but if i failed my test id be surprised because ive always gotten As and Bs and the fact that this is basically the only thing stopping me makes it hurt that much more for me so i feel it should be added). i was so close. and then my mental disorders started to make themselves known and i just couldnt concentrate, i couldnt remember what i was learning so i had to put it down. that was about 3-4 years ago (my timing on a lot of the things i say may be off because the disorders i have are horrible on my memory and bioclock but im typically roughly in the ballpark). lately, the past few days ive been starting to feel a little better and id really love to give my GEDs another shot but im scared. im worried that "what if i do and then all my disorders come rushing back? do i really want to do this on what could possibly be a false hope just making me feel worse then i did before because again ive failed at something i shouldnt have" and its not so much that my disorders arent there as ive kind of inferred but more that they arent messing with my memory or anything making me feel that if i were to try again as of right now i have a chance at succeeding at it. but what if my memory starts to fail me again and i have to put it all down. im not sure if i should try again or if i should wait a little bit longer to see how this plays out. and if i do wait how long should i wait? i have an appointment on the 22nd with my therapist i mean....at least wait until then....maybe??? im not sure.
We always wait for the "Perfect" moment when we can feel yea now i can start . But always remember that moment may never come . Also preparing for exams takes time and in that time period you will feel highs and lows . Sometimes , you have to do things without thinking too much .
Edit : I am in college .
 
H

HelloHell

Member
Joined
Dec 26, 2019
Messages
49
I was on medical leave from college last term. My mom pressured me to go back to college asap, so I'm back in college right now. It is not a good idea. I'm back to being suicidal again now.
My advice would be to wait until you feel that you're ready. If you feel you're ready now, do it. But, if you only doing it because the people around you are pressuring you to, don't do it. If you do decide to go back, please know that it wouldn't be an easy journey, and that's ok. You don't need to rush. You can take your time. Rest if you need. Stop for a while if you need. I have the same problem as you: memory and concentration, and it sucks. There is always a possibility for them to come back and haunt you. So, I think it would be good for you to prepare some coping mechanisms (you can discuss this with your therapist). Whatever you choose, whether you choose to go back now or later, I wish you the best of luck!
 
Chupacabra 44

Chupacabra 44

If boredom were a CTB method, I would be long gone
Joined
Sep 13, 2020
Messages
414
I think when it comes to challanges like these, it's best to implement proactive strategies of self care. Examples would include learning and practicing meditation and mindfulness. Additionally, try to learn about and "set" your circadian rhythms. This would include eating, sleeping/waking, exercising, studying, etc., at the same time each day.

I learned those areas above from my psychiatrist in order to help balance my bipolar disorder. The mindfulness has been great to identify my triggers and I watch for these closely, This along with a sleep schedule are the top two aspects for my stability. To learn your triggers take to heart the belief that nothing is random, and watch for cause and effect. It's very empowering when you start figuring these things out.

Found it difficult in grad school, because it was academically difficult and I was pulling lots of caffeine fueld all nighters. Not a good combo when mania is involved.

For me, sleeping way more than before my diagnosis has worked wonders. Kind of pathetic for me that I'm like a two year old with a set bed time. But I got to do what I've got to do.

Good luck.
 
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