Poll: deadline dates?

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Does anyone have a deadline to die?


  • Total voters
    125
Definitelyworried

Definitelyworried

Member
Jun 19, 2018
557
1,182
USA
I set a deadline for July 31th in February. Looks like I won't be able to go through with it. Not because my life got got better, it only got worse. I ordered SN a couple of weeks ago but chickened out (canceled).
New plan is waiting for my next paycheck, order SN again, travel to the beach one last time (haven't seen a beach for 12 years) and do it then. I took 3 weeks off at my shitty job. Planned date is second half of August. It sucks to be a coward.
I've already backed out of a few deadlines and I'm still suffering, I'm constantly wishing I was dead, I'm in so much pain.
It does suck to be a coward.
 
R

ReleaseMe

I know it's over And it never really began
May 26, 2018
142
367
I like about this board that it true to the meaning of pro choice. I really wish for every single person on here to get better and not feeling the need to ctb anymore, but also know from my own experience that it's just not how it works.
Also I envy the courage and determination of those who go through with it. I hope this will be my last year of suffering.
 
Ashpac

Ashpac

Lost and always will be.
Jul 22, 2018
819
3,080
Left my old forum for this one. This one seems much better. When people say N, they mean nitrogen, yes? as in the exit bag method? ive looked into that, and to be honest, its probably the most peaceful method out there. Or have i got mixed up here? My deadline will probably be next month. fun times eh.
 
S

Ssname

Wise
Jun 30, 2018
269
657
Left my old forum for this one. This one seems much better. When people say N, they mean nitrogen, yes? as in the exit bag method? ive looked into that, and to be honest, its probably the most peaceful method out there. Or have i got mixed up here? My deadline will probably be next month. fun times eh.
I believe people are usually referring to nembutal when they say n. Having spent a couple of years teaching science it always confused me a bit though. And I agree this forum is the best I have found.
 
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Ashpac

Ashpac

Lost and always will be.
Jul 22, 2018
819
3,080
I believe people are usually referring to nembutal when they say n. Having spent a couple of years teaching science it always confused me a bit though. And I agree this forum is the best I have found.
Ahh right, thanks dude for clearing that up. I understand its near impossible to get and very few could only get it. Wish i could, less painful than my method.
 
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iamthezero

iamthezero

Member
Jun 22, 2018
29
95
I’ll go when it’s time. I have things I have to take care of first that’s putting me on a hold, like finalizing my will and making sure my burial is covered etc. But seeing as though my life has everyday become more intolerable, I can’t see myself making 2019. *shrugs*
 
Final Escape

Final Escape

Old and tired
Jul 8, 2018
2,613
9,221
42
As soon as I have everything I need, ideally I want to go in next two or at most 3 weeks. I’ve got additional stressors that are hastening my need to go soon. I’m not too scared but sad that I’m in a position to feel rushed into dying. It’s sad having to feel like u have to die to solve your problems.
 
Vincent Moraes

Vincent Moraes

Member
Jul 20, 2018
66
143
I'm in awkward situation right now. I've been dealing with suicidal thoughts for about two years now, and sometimes they go away. They came back last week, but in a much more logical manner. I figured out that Amitriptyline would something easy to get, so I managed to travel to a place where prescriptions are not required and bought 8g of it. Now I have it, the anti emetics and the diazepam needed. My only problem is regarding my family, I know I would hurt them so much. They all know about my trip to get the drugs, but they just don't know where I keep it. They keep saying they love me but it's like I don't feel anything, I just keep wanting to die. It feels a little better to have the Amitriptyline, knowing that I can do it whenever I want. It spoils in two years, so I guess that is a deadline. If life does not change, if things don't get better, I think I will be just booking a hotel for three days and do the trick.
 
not-2-b-the-answer

not-2-b-the-answer

Visionary
Mar 23, 2018
915
2,515
yesterday i should've killed myself, today i should kill myself.

it's a infinite loop of that until i do, and hopefully soon as my last straw is broken.
I've been thinking that way for a long time.
 
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not-2-b-the-answer

not-2-b-the-answer

Visionary
Mar 23, 2018
915
2,515
I haven't decided an exact date … I've mentioned sometime in the fall to a few people on here.
At least if I don't chicken out... I hate winter and don't want to see another one.
 
Sha70

Sha70

Member
Jul 22, 2018
51
75
I have about a 2-3 year deadline date because I have a teenage son I need to raise....
 
skitliv

skitliv

Le mort joyeux
Jul 11, 2018
485
1,985
I set two deadlines in the past that for whatever reason I could not meet, they were supposed to be on special ocasions, now I'm setting a third date on september, it feels pretty anti climatic compared to the past ones but maybe thats what I need in order to do it finally.
 
J

JustDie

Member
Jun 18, 2018
37
137
I've already backed out of a few deadlines and I'm still suffering, I'm constantly wishing I was dead, I'm in so much pain.
It does suck to be a coward.
Same. I should've killed my self but I haven't yet. Just means more time for proper preparation and death.
 
D

DoneWithThis

Veteran
Jul 20, 2019
125
205
Well, already tried and failed. But I figure somewhere along the lines of mid August. I wouldn't of failed if I read more carefully the forum. But on the plus side, it's given me more time to plan things out better. If it's worth doing, it's worth doing well. But more importantly it's also given me a chance to look for a backup method that suits me. And it's also given me more time to get to know all of you folks on here. To reach out and connect with other people that feel the same way I feel.

Especially suicide being such a taboo subject. The only times it's really mentioned in the media is to mock and shame it.

And even though I've felt suicidal for a great number of years. Somehow all that bullshit social conditioning digs it's way into your brain. Suicide is wrong. And with that stigma, I could never bring myself to talk about it. I didn't want to end up in some psych ward..

But a couple of weeks ago I just didn't care about the stigmas, the labeling, the what's wrong what's right. The pain I'd bring on others. It just didn't matter anymore. For once, I mattered more than all of the bullshit I've been fed.

And I looked online and found some interesting things. But then I bumped into this forum. And originally it was just to get the information I needed. I wanted to CTB and that's it. And I was on here a week without signing up. Just reading through a lot of information. And then Iemember if I signed up right before my attempt and fail, or right after my attempt and fail. Either way. Then I started reading more closely.

Not just about the methods and the specifics. But the stories people had, the venting, the philosophy, the poetry, the suggested songs, etc.

By complete accident and pure luck. I found people that felt the same way I did. Anecdotes, the jokes, inspiration, compassion. The kind of thing that makes your heart swell with gratitude. That sense of, I'm not alone.

And I realize that I'm ranting so I'll stop right here. But just one last night. It feels really nice just to be understood. Big hugs everyone.
 
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Sha70

Sha70

Member
Jul 22, 2018
51
75
I did not cast votes because I have already decided to wait til after my youngest graduates from high school... that will be in about 2 years.
 

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