Please help, need encouragement to go through with it

  • Welcome to Sanctioned Suicide, a pro-choice forum for the discussion of mental illness, suicide, and the moral implications of the act itself. This is not a pro-suicide site. We do not encourage or aid suicide, and the information offered is for educational purposes only. Read our rules and FAQ for more information. We also offer a recovery subforum if you wish to get support.

    You can close this box by clicking the top right "X".

F

failurefather

Member
Feb 24, 2020
10
35
I am so tired of letting everyone down in my life. It's worse than death to watch the disappointment in my friends and family's faces as I constantly relapse and make bad choices. I need to once and for all get the determination and drive to finally go through with ending my life. Any choices, advice, whatever - please help me. I need to end this now.
 
A

AnxietyAttack44

I just wanna go to my husband already.
Jun 5, 2020
1,033
1,771
27
Philippines / Croatia
Im sorry. We cant tell you how to do it, or when to do it. We cant even tell you to do it. Its a bit against the rules.

But we can talk with you, and we can help you figure methods up, help you understand them or fix them maybe.

You csn find many options in resorce section, many big guides there. Im not sure wich ways would be avaliable to you either. So let us know if you figure it out.

Were here to talk to you and help you through it. Good luck
 
A

Anonymoussn

Wise
May 12, 2020
225
474
We cant advise you to CTB. It's against the rules. Only you can decide. You need to weigh up the implications of going on, compared to ending it all to decide whether it's the best thing for you.

Have you already considered what method you might use, if you were to decide to go? Perhaps if not, and you are seriously considering this, it would be a good idea to do some research to find a method that is right for you, so that when the time comes you are fully prepared?
 
MaisieWilliamsLover

MaisieWilliamsLover

Member
Jun 27, 2020
94
138
Forgive me for stating the obvious. But I just started a new profile here. Did it not State clearly in the rules that encouraging suicide among members is forbidden and not the purpose of this forum?
Forgive me for stating the obvious. But I just started a new profile here. Did it not State clearly in the rules that encouraging suicide among members is forbidden and not the purpose of this forum?
I'm sorry but I just created this profile and im dumbfounded because people literally seem to not be able to comprehend simple rules and instructions and also there's this huge library on here of information yet people clearly don't read it and then when others highlight the fact that they haven't read it and provide the links people still don't read them
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: Sensei
Iwantoknow

Iwantoknow

Member
Jun 28, 2020
15
29
Why you feel you are letting everyone down in your life? We are here if you need people to talk with about anything.
 
L

Living sucks

no one can understand
Mar 27, 2020
2,918
2,831
I can encourage you to make better choices by having someone you trust be a sounding board for any and all difficult decisions.
you can change things. If the relapse is drug use, then get professional help and surrender to the process and those who want to help you.
if this is not possible, I wish you can find peace with yourself in whatever you do.
 
MaisieWilliamsLover

MaisieWilliamsLover

Member
Jun 27, 2020
94
138
Forgive me for stating the obvious. But I just started a new profile here. Did it not State clearly in the rules that encouraging suicide among members is forbidden and not the purpose of this forum?

I'm sorry but I just created this profile and im dumbfounded because people literally seem to not be able to comprehend simple rules and instructions and also there's this huge library on here of information yet people clearly don't read it and then when others highlight the fact that they haven't read it and provide the links people still don't read them
Sorry not to be preachy I apologize I just don't get why people don't simply read
 
  • Hmph!
Reactions: thebrinkimdriven
Sensei

Sensei

Illuminated
Nov 4, 2019
1,813
3,845
If you need encouragement you're not ready. You're ready when you feel no ambivalence, hesitation, or fear. You're subconscious is probably telling you that there might be another solution, and I think you should listen. The option to end it all won't disappear.
 
F

failurefather

Member
Feb 24, 2020
10
35
Forgive me for stating the obvious. But I just started a new profile here. Did it not State clearly in the rules that encouraging suicide among members is forbidden and not the purpose of this forum?

I'm sorry but I just created this profile and im dumbfounded because people literally seem to not be able to comprehend simple rules and instructions and also there's this huge library on here of information yet people clearly don't read it and then when others highlight the fact that they haven't read it and provide the links people still don't read them
Just throw it on the pile of stupid shit I've done over the past 42 years.
 
GoodPersonEffed

GoodPersonEffed

I almost always edit my posts.
Jan 11, 2020
4,279
8,843
Forgive me for stating the obvious. But I just started a new profile here. Did it not State clearly in the rules that encouraging suicide among members is forbidden and not the purpose of this forum?

I'm sorry but I just created this profile and im dumbfounded because people literally seem to not be able to comprehend simple rules and instructions and also there's this huge library on here of information yet people clearly don't read it and then when others highlight the fact that they haven't read it and provide the links people still don't read them
Sorry not to be preachy I apologize I just don't get why people don't simply read
It is difficult to move forward and heal from a place of being condemned and shamed for not being or doing enough, which is already a huge issue and burden for the OP.
 
F

failurefather

Member
Feb 24, 2020
10
35
Do you have a method already?
Hanging, it's the only method in which I already have all of the equipment. I've been thinking about the place. I've been thinking close to a spot where there are first responders so I avoid traumatizing innocent bystanders, like by a hospital or police station.
Im sorry. We cant tell you how to do it, or when to do it. We cant even tell you to do it. Its a bit against the rules.

But we can talk with you, and we can help you figure methods up, help you understand them or fix them maybe.

You csn find many options in resorce section, many big guides there. Im not sure wich ways would be avaliable to you either. So let us know if you figure it out.

Were here to talk to you and help you through it. Good luck
Sorry about that, I didn't realize what I was asking was against the rules. I want to hang myself near a place where I can avoid being seen by innocent bystanders. I'm thinking early morning hours near a police station or hospital. I have all my equipment, I'm just struggling with getting the nerve to do it. I think I'm just afraid of pain, which is a bit embarrassing.
 
Last edited:
4eyebiped

4eyebiped

Veteran
Dec 28, 2019
181
565
45
USA
People often do not read all the rules or the sticky threads because they are often in a state of hysteria and pain. They want quick answers and quick solutions to help eliminate their suffering. Sadly, death takes a bit of work if you want to be successful at it. At times it almost seems like more work to die than to live.
 
rhiino

rhiino

Specialist
May 13, 2020
346
580
Germany
Hanging, it's the only method in which I already have all of the equipment. I've been thinking about the place. I've been thinking close to a spot where there are first responders so I avoid traumatizing innocent bystanders, like by a hospital or police station.
That might involve being found early and survive, though.
 
  • Like
Reactions: all_pointless
A

Anonymoussn

Wise
May 12, 2020
225
474
Hanging, it's the only method in which I already have all of the equipment. I've been thinking about the place. I've been thinking close to a spot where there are first responders so I avoid traumatizing innocent bystanders, like by a hospital or police station.


Sorry about that, I didn't realize what I was asking was against the rules. I want to hang myself near a place where I can avoid being seen by innocent bystanders. I'm thinking early morning hours near a police station or hospital. I have all my equipment, I'm just struggling with getting the nerve to do it. I think I'm just afraid of pain, which is a bit embarrassing.
Dont be embarrassed. We are all afraid of pain. If you have the equipment for hanging, you probably have the equipment for partial suspension too. Perhaps that might be a less daunting prospect? If you search this forum there is plenty of info on it.

It's not for everyone, I tried it and couldn't get it to work. But it's quite a popular method on here.
 
F

failurefather

Member
Feb 24, 2020
10
35
Why you feel you are letting everyone down in your life? We are here if you need people to talk with about anything.
I'm on my fourth relapse now. I used to have a solid career / income, but it's all fallen apart. I have nothing left to give, and I'm tired of letting my family down.
Dont be embarrassed. We are all afraid of pain. If you have the equipment for hanging, you probably have the equipment for partial suspension too. Perhaps that might be a less daunting prospect? If you search this forum there is plenty of info on it.

It's not for everyone, I tried it and couldn't get it to work. But it's quite a popular method on here.
I thought about partial hanging, it seems like that method works in places where I'd be found by someone who would be traumatized (my family, hotel employees, etc.). I'm trying to think through ways I can kill myself and be found by someone who may not be used to the site of a dead person - but recovering dead bodies is part of their job (EMT, police, etc.).
 
  • Like
Reactions: dysfunctional
Iwantoknow

Iwantoknow

Member
Jun 28, 2020
15
29
I'm on my fourth relapse now. I used to have a solid career / income, but it's all fallen apart. I have nothing left to give, and I'm tired of letting my family down.
Is it drug use you are relapsing to? Was relapse what did lead to loss of career/income or was it something else? Do you have kids? Do you feel your family would understand you if you expressed how you feel?
 
F

failurefather

Member
Feb 24, 2020
10
35
Is it drug use you are relapsing to? Was relapse what did lead to loss of career/income or was it something else? Do you have kids? Do you feel your family would understand you if you expressed how you feel?
Alcohol is my main problem. I quit everything when I got laid off in January, but alcohol keeps creeping back. I've been drinking heavily on and off for the past 8 years. My career has been very stressful, and I used to use it as a coping mechanism, but it got out of control.

I have kids and a wife. My main source of shame is how much I've let them down. I see their faces and I just want to be swallowed up by the earth. They are as tired of my shit as anyone, but they will likely be sad when I'm gone. Most people are sad / shocked when someone they know dies, and I don't think they are an exception.

It's selfish, but I want to do a selfish thing. I want to be gone, I want to stop feeling shame and pain.
 
A

Anonymoussn

Wise
May 12, 2020
225
474
Alcohol is my main problem. I quit everything when I got laid off in January, but alcohol keeps creeping back. I've been drinking heavily on and off for the past 8 years. My career has been very stressful, and I used to use it as a coping mechanism, but it got out of control.

I have kids and a wife. My main source of shame is how much I've let them down. I see their faces and I just want to be swallowed up by the earth. They are as tired of my shit as anyone, but they will likely be sad when I'm gone. Most people are sad / shocked when someone they know dies, and I don't think they are an exception.

It's selfish, but I want to do a selfish thing. I want to be gone, I want to stop feeling shame and pain.
Most people who have addictions go through relapses. It's an incredibly difficult thing to go through. It's absolutely normal. And the fact that you've had relapses doesnt make you worthless, and doesnt make you a bad person.

The fact that they would be sad if you went shows that they dont just consider you a burden.

You are present in your kids lives, and that's more than many Dad's can say.

It's never too late to turn your life around. Please at least consider what help is available before doing anything drastic. Talk to your wife. You dont have to tell her about your suicidal thoughts, but at least tell her youre feeling really low. Use any service you can. There will always be another chance to CTB if it doesnt work out, but there will never be a chance to get your life back if you do it.
 
I

Irrelevant biologist

Member
Jun 3, 2020
29
63
If you have kids then you may want to exhaust all options for help before you ctb. My daughter is the only reason I'm still here. I am grasping at everything, anything at this point. We have to try. We owe it to the lives we created who love us and wont understand.

Just.... be really damn sure in your decision is all I'm saying. Hugs!
 
EraseRewind

EraseRewind

Member
May 13, 2020
40
59
I really feel your pain @failurefather, I’m an alcoholic and have been in recovery for a while now, I had a good career but blew it through drink and shameful behaviour.

It isn’t easy but have you tried all the help available to stay sober, I’m not here to encourage or discourage but you are not a failure because you’ve relapsed you can put the drink down again and start again from the beginning you have a family that must love you and sound as though they just want dad to be there. I wish you well
 
Iwantoknow

Iwantoknow

Member
Jun 28, 2020
15
29
Thanks for sharing with community. It sound like you are person who care lot about your family and don't want to disappoint them.

Do you feel your family care about you? How do you feel your wife and people close to you would respond if you told them how you really feel right now and about pain you are dealing with?
 
F

failurefather

Member
Feb 24, 2020
10
35
Thanks for sharing with community. It sound like you are person who care lot about your family and don't want to disappoint them.

Do you feel your family care about you? How do you feel your wife and people close to you would respond if you told them how you really feel right now and about pain you are dealing with?
I do care a lot about my family, and it's really hard to watch them suffer because of who I am as a person. If I had a time machine I'd go back and make sure I was dead before I had a chance to meet my wife, have kids, etc. I've put them through so much, it's my biggest regret.

I know killing myself is going to cause them pain - both immediate and long term. Because I'm in their life I'm going to cause them pain regardless of whether I'm alive or dead, that's the nature of being a living, breathing piece of shit.

I'm feeling confident that my death will be the "lesser" of two pains. Painful - but different and better than me actively and randomly interrupting their lives.

I just can't work up the courage and focus to actually do it. That's how selfish and self-centered I am. I know I'm causing harm, I don't have the will power to stop doing things that cause harm, and I'm too cowardly to remove my self from life. It's a special kind of hell.
 
  • Hug
Reactions: EraseRewind
rhiino

rhiino

Specialist
May 13, 2020
346
580
Germany
Because I'm in their life I'm going to cause them pain regardless of whether I'm alive or dead, that's the nature of being a living, breathing piece of shit.

I'm feeling confident that my death will be the "lesser" of two pains. Painful - but different and better than me actively and randomly interrupting their lives.
I share this special hell with you. Everything I do causes harm to the ones I love. It is devastating.
 
GoodPersonEffed

GoodPersonEffed

I almost always edit my posts.
Jan 11, 2020
4,279
8,843
I know killing myself is going to cause them pain - both immediate and long term. Because I'm in their life I'm going to cause them pain regardless of whether I'm alive or dead, that's the nature of being a living, breathing piece of shit.

I'm feeling confident that my death will be the "lesser" of two pains. Painful - but different and better than me actively and randomly interrupting their lives.
I'm gonna talk to you straight here, it's in the spoiler. There is compassion, there is directness, there is no bullshit, and there is no condemnation, though your filters may try to convince you there is. Compassionately, fuck those filters. They don't like to be pierced or weakened, because they think they have a job to protect you, but they're protecting some old stories and agendas that no longer serve. Imo, that's what filters do. So I gently but firmly push them aside and give them no value. They are not my concern. For this brief moment that I know you, you are the only thing to what or to whom I am showing concern, as well as those with whom your life is inextricably connected, for better or worse. That cannot be undone.

I do not expect or demand that you read this. It is your choice, and you are autonomous, which I respect.


Realistically, there are times when people die and others are relived that their toxic influence is gone.

But it's different with your children. They are still young. They are attached to you and love you, in spite of your self-destructive and potentially other-destructive actions, because at that age, you are an integral part of their foundations, for better or worse, and it will rip away the foundation before they are prepared, and before they have the capacity to effectively recover. They do not yet have the cognitive or emotional capacity to manage your abandonment via suicide.

They are not yet old enough nor have enough emotional foundations to be so sick of your actions that they feel empowered and freed, assuming that you are not violent and verbally abusive, spewing your problems and utter vitriol onto others to discharge it; even then, there may be enough love and enough good that they will be terribly conflicted, as are most children of any kind of abuser who also shows some love and does some supportive things. If you are an abuser, you can stop. You can contact a domestic violence center and ask for referrals to services for helping offenders, not that you necessarily are one, but so that you don't become one. I think you see that your addiction-based actions do offend, and you need support for that. I'm not sure where you will find it, this is but one suggestion, and it is up to you to seek resources that you sense will benefit. This is part of building your own strength, backbone, and foundation.

If you choose to suicide and enact it, your children will wonder, as children do, what was it about them that caused you do to what you did, or what did they lack so that you wouldn't stay. They will feel responsible for and therefore punished by your act, even though that is not your intention, and they may or may not eventually be able to place the responsibility on you it where it belongs, because it is your choice and not theirs, by your will and not their influence. They will likely believe that they had influence, because it is likely impossible for them to grasp at this age that they have no control over you, your actions, or their own situations.

They will have to deal with other children and adults knowing what you did, talking about it, judging you, and, as cruel children will, judging, blaming, and tormenting them for having been abandoned, for having a father who hated them so much that he killed himself. This is what children and the Greek chorus of an ignorant society do.

This will be a far worse and more painful interruption of their lives than anything you're doing now. They may not have the strongest foundations that are of necessity built on your own which also is not strong, as well as your wife's, but you are still a foundation, and they already rely on you to be present. They will feel punished and blown off course by your self-chosen death, even though your intentions are the exact opposite.

This is no pro-life guilt trip. This is a wider perspective of the far-reaching impact of your choice, and I recognize that's a skill that has been challenging for you to develop. I am speaking straight, but there is also a lot of compassion. I get that you are often tested beyond your capacity to manage. Yet you have made steps in recovery, you do have skills that you didn't have before, and you can continue to take new steps forward. As others have said here, relapse is often a part of recovery; you can feel defeated by it, or you can use it as a guide to point out where you still lack tools and resources, and seek them out, seek to continue the difficult progress, and gain more strength, confidence, power, and rewards -- maybe not the rewards you seek such as work and money, but foundational rewards that help you manage the ever-changing fortunes of life. You can, as @Living sucks mentioned, find others to talk to who will give you good advice and help you start to see the path, the pitfalls, and how you may stray toward hazards rather than running from them. They will not do it for you, but they will give you tools, like corrective lenses for visual impairment, hearing aids for auditory impairment, or walking sticks to help you (re)learn balance.

There is a fine line between being co-dependent and giving others control, and then resenting them when they don't let you stray, vs. having someone in your life who is solid in themselves, who doesn't try to control you or take on owning your shit nor your successes, but such people do exist, the people who give tools but don't force you to use them, or try to step in and use them for you. It is up to you as part of your self-ownership and self-determination to seek out these people and support, and to keep going if you don't quickly or easily find them, which is far more difficult and yet far more powerful, I think, then the self-determined choice to end your life when it will cause so much more destruction than anything I think, based on your posts, that you're doing now. Such people will help you find your inner power, your will power, because you do have it. I don't know how many bullshit messages and past experiences it's buried under, but it's there.

I have one suggestion for you. Offer empowerment and de-enmeshment to your wife, and then drop it, let her do with it as she wishes or not. Offer her the suggestion of going to Al-Anon and/or CODA, and then stay completely out of it. It's up to her whether or not to do so, but I guarantee that she is enmeshed in this and needs to do her own healing and find her own power. She, too, needs foundations so that she doesn't rely on you when you are not capable of being reliable, nor try to cure you, control you, or own any cause for your problems. You each take on too much ownership of the other's stuff, and give ownership of your own stuff to each other. I'm not a mind-reader, but this is how such relationships work.

You can keep beating yourself up, calling yourself selfish, self-centered, a failure in your role, and a living breathing piece of shit, which all feed the flames of your tormenting hell in order to falsely validate that it is hell and should function as such. It is the ultimate place of condemnation, and as long as you are functioning from such a place and giving it credence, you will not believe that you can heal, that you are worthy, and that you are anything more than a pathetic, hopeless, not-even-demon piece of shit who only stinks things up and has no hope except for flushing. You're not an angel, either, and so you won't become one. You are human, and there is imperfect but powerful grace in the world available you to help you out of that fake pit, because the world needs humans who strive to become ever more aware and to do better; that's not utopia, but it's imo the best kind of world in one full of imperfect humans who will always be imperfect, but can strive to grow and do better if they so choose. It needs people who are reciprocal, who use gifts well, who give good gifts back when they are capable, and who become an example for others who also think they're in hell. Such examples exist for you, I hope that you will seek them out. They are imperfect humans, too, and helping you when they have the power and detachment from your issues will help them as well. It will give them meaning and purpose, it will help them to stay on their paths, too.

I also offer you the tools of Brené Brown's talks and interviews.

That's all I've got to offer without stepping into fixing. I can't own your stuff, I can't convince you, I can't push you if you don't want to be pushed, so I won't push. I've offered you the best gifts that I could, and I have no control over whether you recognize them as such, choose to receive them, or choose to employ anything in them which can serve you. That's not because I'm cold, quite the opposite, but because I'm not co-dependent; I'm both autonomous and caring, and I've shown caring without taking on unwarranted burdens of responsibility for things over which I have no power anyway. I have enough burdens of my own, I would not dump them on you, and I do not seek reciprocity or assistance, you have enough to deal with, which I have recognized and shown that I care about. And so I have done my imperfect but heartfelt best to give you support, such as you tools if you choose to use them, akin to a rough map and help stations along the terrain. It is up to you whether you want to be on a path or in the rough on that terrain, or if you want to be on the journey at all, and if so, it's up to you how you want to try to travel it.

I sincerely wish you and all whom you love the best for your well-being and freedom from suffering and from old delusions that keep you unjustifiably trapped and tortured. I wish you only the best support, and the best inner and external resources to face the challenges of your life which you did not initially cause and which I declare have no more right to control you, but ultimately it is up to you to declare, as it is your life.

I wish for your personal power, and that of your wife, and for your children to be able to build the abilities to develop their own personal power. You may regret that you had them, but you have them; it is up to you to determine your influence, as you cannot escape from influencing them, in life nor in death. You can move forward if you choose to, and at this point of crisis you will as crisis demands a change of direction, either toward new solutions and support, or toward self-elimination, whether passively through addictions or through total and permanent destruction. I do not own that choice, but I sincerely wish you the best in determining your choices, and I do not judge what you do, because I am not you, and I have no control over you -- nor would I want it. I neither condemn nor forgive any choice you make, because I do not have that power. But I also won't sit back and watch with popcorn nor digging my nails into my seat. I have used my power to the best of my ability to serve you, and I recognize your autonomy and right to do whatever you choose, however you choose to. And so it is best I withdraw with only the best wishes for you, and with trust that you don't yet have that you've got this. If you don't, I know that you have been trying. You wouldn't be posting if you weren't, so I think there is something that you've got. I respect you and I honor you. Every word I've written is a product of and reflection of that.

I leave you with these words from one of the only flawed humans to have ever inspired me and given me the kind of valuable guidance I've suggested you seek from others. These words inspired how I have spoken here to you:

If any person is able to convince me and show me that I do not think or act rightly, I will gladly change; for I seek the truth, by which no person was ever injured*. But they are injured who abide in their error and ignorance.

- Marcus Aurelius

I do not wish to see you injured, hence I spoke.




*only their other-serving filters are injured, which do not belong
 
Last edited:
F

Fullof pain

Veteran
Jul 1, 2020
125
201
I am so tired of letting everyone down in my life. It's worse than death to watch the disappointment in my friends and family's faces as I constantly relapse and make bad choices. I need to once and for all get the determination and drive to finally go through with ending my life. Any choices, advice, whatever - please help me. I need to end this now.
I can clearly hear your pain and acknowledge that. Everyone has the right to free will and autonomy, only you truly know how you feel. But may I respectfully suggest that you just give yourself some breathing space before you make any decisions. If you have doubts then it is the time to just acknowledge them and not force yourself beyond that point for now. Do not be governed by anyone else, just take time.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Lostandfound7
MaisieWilliamsLover

MaisieWilliamsLover

Member
Jun 27, 2020
94
138
It is difficult to move forward and heal from a place of being condemned and shamed for not being or doing enough, which is already a huge issue and burden for the OP.
Yes correct but what does that have to do with the fact that people don't read anything that is made easily available
Alcohol is my main problem. I quit everything when I got laid off in January, but alcohol keeps creeping back. I've been drinking heavily on and off for the past 8 years. My career has been very stressful, and I used to use it as a coping mechanism, but it got out of control.

I have kids and a wife. My main source of shame is how much I've let them down. I see their faces and I just want to be swallowed up by the earth. They are as tired of my shit as anyone, but they will likely be sad when I'm gone. Most people are sad / shocked when someone they know dies, and I don't think they are an exception.

It's selfish, but I want to do a selfish thing. I want to be gone, I want to stop feeling shame and pain.
f*** I'd do anything to be with my wife and kids. The only reason why I want to die so badly because my wife threw me under the bus.
 
Last edited:
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
H [Help] Ctb in a nursing home - please help!! Suicide Discussion 22
O Can someone please help? Questions about exit bags? Suicide Discussion 2
U what is happening to me (please help) Suicide Discussion 8
U [Help] Please help REALLY BAD would nitrous oxide work? Suicide Discussion 1
C CONTROVERSIAL - please delete or relocate if inappropriate. Suicide Discussion 1
HopelessMortal [Help] Which household items can i use to ctb reliably and fast? please Im so desperate. This is the only opportiunity i have... Suicide Discussion 3
S Please Educate me/Dignitas/N Suicide Discussion 3
R PROPRANOLOL - PLEASE READ Suicide Discussion 22
M SN/opinions needed please Suicide Discussion 6
zajebistakaczka [Venting] please be mindful. Suicide Discussion 9
Mustkeyknow SN - How do I NOT ask for help? Suicide Discussion 11
kittie Help Suicide Discussion 9
Buffy5120 [Help] Sorry for posting but im in desperate need of help Suicide Discussion 2
N [Help] Taking N sodium alter klonopin.. Help Suicide Discussion 7
J [Help] Terminally ill need help Suicide Discussion 3
D [Help] I need help with ketamine dosing Suicide Discussion 4
P Need help with buying supplies for ending it Suicide Discussion 18
B In hospital pn section 2 i need help to ctb Suicide Discussion 1
DeathIsTheWayOut99 "Nobody can save me, only help me save myself" Suicide Discussion 14
liesgreedmisery need help Suicide Discussion 6
ItsAllTooLate Songs that help get you into the "suicide headspace"? Suicide Discussion 10
K Anyone Find Distractions No Longer Help? Suicide Discussion 15
SuicideBoys93 Anxiety help Suicide Discussion 6
E [Help] Help Suicide Discussion 2
painoflife Why am I engaging with help? Suicide Discussion 3
M SN/Medical History/help needed Suicide Discussion 0
H Angry at people who say get help? Suicide Discussion 12
End_Game Do I need to know how to swim to do shallow water blackout? Suicide Discussion 1
Red87 [Discussion] Finally getting stuff I need to ctb Suicide Discussion 2
aliceinwonderland How Much N do you need depending on your weight? Suicide Discussion 5
S Need to leave my current job Suicide Discussion 4
S [Help] Need someone in London or close to Suicide Discussion 23
JustovertheBS SN...what else do i need? Suicide Discussion 2
B I need a method that’s accidental! Suicide Discussion 8
E I need to find a way out Suicide Discussion 0
D [Help] anyone from ph? need alternatives... Suicide Discussion 2
TimeToBiteTheDust Do those who don't live alone feel a huge need to ctb when homealone Suicide Discussion 12
C Need General Advice for CTB Suicide Discussion 3
Jump123 Need the courage to ctb or will life get better by itself :/ Suicide Discussion 0
Ijustneeditalltostop [Help] I need them to hate me Suicide Discussion 14
Mustkeyknow Do I need to fast for partial suspension? Suicide Discussion 16
C [Help] I need a method has anyone got any ideas? Suicide Discussion 8
TakeYourHappyPills [Venting] Really stupid but I need to vent Suicide Discussion 12
T [Help] Stuck in a island without access to drugs I need ideas Suicide Discussion 5
DeathIsTheWayOut99 I need someone to talk to. I am literal on the fucking edge Suicide Discussion 19
DeathIsTheWayOut99 I feel like I need ot escape and run from my feelings Suicide Discussion 5
Angel79 So I finally have everything I need to CTB, and my feeling towards it is..... surprising! Suicide Discussion 14
robbiebobbie [Help] I need a method effective enough to hurt me a lot but not actually kill me, any suggestions? Suicide Discussion 9
W i need meto for n Suicide Discussion 8
HappyMstake [Help] Is this the right type of rope ill need? Suicide Discussion 0
Similar threads