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On a scale of 0-10, rate your suicidal thoughts today

W

WanttodieWisconsin

New Member
Joined
Apr 20, 2019
Messages
3
0 being you're not having any at all to 10 being you're going to ctb very soon because you can't take it anymore. Mine are a 6.5 today
I'd say a 9.5. My daughter just came home from college for the weekend- she didn't know it was goodbye, but it was. Now she's gone back and I'm ready to CTB while she and my wife are bringing her back.
 
plough22

plough22

Living but not really, just surviving
Joined
May 1, 2020
Messages
89
I am here in bed, awake and thoughts running and being invasive, but I’m still a five. Trying to hold myself together during the day. I am middle of the road in figure terms of ctb. I’m waiting for my impulsive self to do it, or one other big thing that will drive that number up and me over the edge quite literally. I only hope that when I get that bravery, they I do it correctly. I hate feeling sad and depressed
 
Jump123

Jump123

Veteran
Joined
Mar 29, 2020
Messages
187
10 everyday so far its a 10, i think about it everyday, i try plan and think of a date. when i sleep most nights i try visualise myself doing it, same goes for when i wake up and try go back to sleep.
I am here in bed, awake and thoughts running and being invasive, but I’m still a five. Trying to hold myself together during the day. I am middle of the road in figure terms of ctb. I’m waiting for my impulsive self to do it, or one other big thing that will drive that number up and me over the edge quite literally. I only hope that when I get that bravery, they I do it correctly. I hate feeling sad and depressed
:heart:
 
rue89

rue89

Stressed Sobble
Joined
Feb 10, 2020
Messages
2,516
10. I think it will always be 10.
I'm feeling so anxious, so overwhelmed.
I might be able to ctb with a little more comfort, but it seems it might take a while; I don't know how long.
I don't know if I can wait. Will have to see how this goes.
 
plough22

plough22

Living but not really, just surviving
Joined
May 1, 2020
Messages
89
10 everyday so far its a 10, i think about it everyday, i try plan and think of a date. when i sleep most nights i try visualise myself doing it, same goes for when i wake up and try go back to sleep.

:heart:
I hate those thoughts, I hate that we feel this way. I wish that I could go back but you can’t.
Anyway I know if the impulse comes, if something goes south then my foundations which are already shaken will break. The thoughts are bad as they are, I too visualise death usjnf different methods - even have my SN.

I wish and hope too that you find peace whatever wherever ❤
 
Milo S

Milo S

One foot in the grave
Joined
Oct 7, 2020
Messages
144
I am a 10 right now. I have been planning all weekend. Tomorrow is the day. I just have to have the guts to do it.
I'm sorry it's so soon, I haven't even seen you post before :(
 
Jump123

Jump123

Veteran
Joined
Mar 29, 2020
Messages
187
I hate those thoughts, I hate that we feel this way. I wish that I could go back but you can’t.
Anyway I know if the impulse comes, if something goes south then my foundations which are already shaken will break. The thoughts are bad as they are, I too visualise death usjnf different methods - even have my SN.

I wish and hope too that you find peace whatever wherever ❤
i hate it too, i hate the intrusive dark thoughts we get, i wish i could stop feeling this way but half of me gets comfort from it all just knowing i could end this sadness & depression.
i can relate to how you feel, the part where you said waiting for your impulsive self & if one more big thing happens, well me too quite literally.
i hope you can try get a good sleep anyway.

ty and to you i hope you find peace whatever wherever :heart:
 
Lost in a Dream

Lost in a Dream

Wizard
Joined
Feb 22, 2020
Messages
613
I'm at a 6 today, after having been in the 8-9 range for an entire week. I've decided to try something else, to see if it improves anything for me and that is changing jobs.

Hopefully I can find one that is good enough to distract myself from the dark thoughts that are always swirling around in my head. That's all I need to avoid an impulsive suicide anyway. No idea if it will work or not, but it's worth a try.
 
LastWhisper

LastWhisper

Who cares if I'm drunk?
Joined
Oct 29, 2019
Messages
103
9, if would not some people, I'd going to ctb.
 

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