not a guy
- Feb 13, 2020
- Reaction score
Yeah i do think about that and honestly im not sure. I think if id said no before anything started he'd have been mad for wasting his time and would have just left.Did you think about what he'd do if you'd have said no from the start?
I just don't feel its right to say i was raped. Because yes, i said no, but after he ignored that i didn't resist i just let him do what he wanted, and while it happened i didn't think 'im being raped' i was thinking 'oh my god I've just lost my virginity'. Its 2.5 months ago that this happened and because i was so focused on the losing my virginity rather than the fact i never gave consent i don't feel raped because the feelings towards it have died down. I don't know if that makes sense, but in my head i think if i was raped i would have known straight away.
But on the other hand these past few days i have avoided everyone, cried thinking about it, and started falling back into the early stages of my depression. I also recognise that if this was another persons situation i would agree it is rape.
i feel like in this thread I've been very repetitive so im sorry for that but im really struggling because in order to move past this i need to feel and in order to feel i need to accept, but it still feels wrong to say i was raped despite everyone agreeing what happened was rape.
in short, i don't feel raped because for a month or so i was okay with what happened and didn't deep it. it is only now im realising that what happened wasn't okay but it seems too late.