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Negative experience on depression forum :(

FireFox

FireFox

Specialist
Joined
Apr 8, 2020
Messages
393
I joined a depression forum in which people with depression can talk to each thier experiences of depression and managing.

I joined it because a lot of forum users are from the UK. The forum has a lot of information about anti depressants, treatments and explanations of various mental illness

I told the women on the forum about my suicidial thoughts etc.
The women were lovely and well meaning but they didnt get it really.

They said things like
" go your gp and seek help" I explained already the waiting list in my area for therapy is 10 months and you can not move up the list. I applied to be on the list and i heard nothing for months.
Seeing a gp is now harder due to covid 19 with most gp pratices closed in the UK. To see a gp in the UK you have phone at 8am and wait in the phone queue. You get a limited number of appoiments availble on the day you call.
The gps have been offering online appointments and skype appointments during the lockdown.lack of privacy in my room this is not an option

Other women told me to stop self pitying and i can change my life.

Others saids be postive and it is possible to overcome. They said i need to be grateful for the things i have.
Most comments were life is beautiful etc
The comments annoyed me because everything is beyond my control. I have literally cost all

How can i be postive when my generation is entering the worst job market ever in history.
The job market is brutal and firecely compettive.
It is not just the job situation It is everything in my life

Being grateful. I hate being alive so much.

A depression forum i was not expecting comments like this which were out of touch etc
 
GoodPersonEffed

GoodPersonEffed

Brevity is my middle name, but my name was TL
Joined
Jan 11, 2020
Messages
5,711
I'm curious about what kinds of comments you were expecting. Did you read other comments on the forum first to set your expectations, and were there indications people there would be understanding, or be pro-choice about suicide?
 
Crazy Squirrel

Crazy Squirrel

"Me hates life and me wants to die, zansu!"
Joined
Jul 26, 2020
Messages
19
Wow, mindless platitudes in a depression forum, even? That really sucks, sorry you had to endure that! I really hate those kind of responses, as well, especially being to told to "stop self-pitying and change your life" when you've already busted your ass trying! Ha ha, speaking of nasty platitudes, I once opened up to my boyfriend at the time about how I was feeling depressed and whatnot, and without missing a beat, he told me, "So? Other people have it worse". I stared at him for a moment, and then I got up and left him right then and there.
 
FireFox

FireFox

Specialist
Joined
Apr 8, 2020
Messages
393
I'm curious about what kinds of comments you were expecting. Did you read other comments on the forum first to set your expectations, and were there indications people there would be understanding, or be pro-choice about suicide?
@GoodPersonEffed I just wanted people to talk to.
I have no one to talk to in the real world .
Family is Not an option. Theh
My family are extremely judgemental towards sucide and are just poor at listening. Talking to them is so frustrating . They believe going to church is answer for everything.

They lecture me on how i should be grateful because other people have not got arms and legs or other people have not families.

They believe depression is not a real MH illness.

I believe in a god but i like my problems fixed

I pretend to be happy in front of them. They believe i am happy.

Friends are always working and live far away. Friends are not therpaists
If i was helped to live i wouldnt want to kill myself.
Seeing how alone i really i am in this world i want to die
Wow, mindless platitudes in a depression forum, even? That really sucks, sorry you had to endure that! I really hate those kind of responses, as well, especially being to told to "stop self-pitying and change your life" when you've already busted your ass trying! Ha ha, speaking of nasty platitudes, I once opened up to my boyfriend at the time about how I was feeling depressed and whatnot, and without missing a beat, he told me, "So? Other people have it worse". I stared at him for a moment, and then I got up and left him right then and there.
@Crazy Squirrel
I hate that pharse others have it worse.
I know they have it worse. I follow politics than most people my age i know what the world is like.
 
X

XYZ

I just can’t get these damn wrists to bleed
Joined
Jul 22, 2020
Messages
531
Sounds like that forum is a bunch of idiots who give advice like their shit don’t smell and they know it all. Why the fuck don’t they get advised by their own advice and fix their lives if it’s that easy? (See figure 1)

897A1B48-BCB5-4577-9E1A-10C4AAD5BB62.jpeg
 
thrw_a_way1221221

thrw_a_way1221221

Angel of Choice - on borrowed time.
Joined
Aug 30, 2018
Messages
5,164
I'm sorry to hear about your negative experiences on a mental health support forum. It reminds me of the subreddits SW, depression, FA, Aspergers, and a few others. People who (think they) have good intentions oftenly spew things that aren't helpful, don't apply in you situation, invalidating phrases and remarks, and/or out of touch with reality, yet any opposition towards their remarks is seen as an attack, an affront to their intelligence. I've had similar vibes in those spaces as well as similar subreddits.

I suppose the main tenets of all those places are that suicide is NEVER the answer, giving up is unacceptable, always encourage people to live and get better (even if that's not the person wants), in some cases - toxic positivity, and more. Given their strict censorship, toxic positivity environment, and general dismissal of one's issues, etc. I have avoided those places as much as possible and this is really the only forum where I can be honest with myself, my feelings, and not worry about censorship, dismissal, and/or other inane advice.
 
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