[Help] Need to find methods to research and soon.

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MattWantsToDie

MattWantsToDie

-
Mar 23, 2018
3
1
Edit: After a few drinks I’ve calmed down and saw there was a resources link. I’m still up for suggestions, but my go to is Hydrogen and an exit bag.

I just want to say thank you to the mods and people here who provide support. This site helps me get through the day without a mental break down

I’m crippled and my arms are the only thing that give me independence. I’ve wanted to CBT before my diagnosis, but now that I will lose functionality in my arms in the near future (within the year, maybe two? I dunno) I will also lose the choice to kill myself.

Please I don’t want to be forced in a flesh prison. Where people say I’m so strong and blessed to keep on going despite my complete dependence.

I need methods, anything, I thankfully have time to research throughly and prepare.

Originally I was going to get a job and save up for an apartment to be alone and reduce risk of survival.

Currently I live with my grandmother who prefers me to be housebound, so trips outside are rare unless they’re errands.

I do have a personal care assistant (PCA) who comes twice a month to drive me to a location of my choice. This was my doing, and my grandmother doesn’t like the idea.

Still, a PCA isn’t going to help me die. I need something discreet that I can hide.

Let’s assume money is not an issue, I’ll steal my grandmother’s credit card if my debit isn’t enough.

One condition though. It can’t be anything that requires a bit of physical labor, like hanging a noose. I’m in a wheelchair and can’t use my arms that much.

Ideally something I injest, but I know the body will try to reject it. I think I might be able to inject something with a needle though. Depends on where in my body though. For example, my neck would be nearly impossible and not be a precise entry.

Please just anything.

I’m going to drink to calm myself. Next time I respond I’ll be drunk, so please forgive any grammatical errors.
 
Last edited:
Malice1

Malice1

-
Apr 6, 2018
287
699
Your limited. I know how that feels because i have a disability that limits me as well (not to your extent but i can imagine what your going through). Anyway your only options it seems are drugs. I'd advise Nembutal (since price is a non factor) and will even give you A's email. If you want his email just send me a PM. You"ll have to learn how to use bitcoin to purchase it though. He accepts western union and money gram too if you want to pay that way as well but i advise bitcoin as its fast and fluid transfer. Oh and by the way i dont advise you take your grandmothers credit card. Just save up until you have enough to purchase.
 
El Topo

El Topo

(---)
Apr 21, 2018
480
1,248
Edit: After a few drinks I’ve calmed down and saw there was a resources link. I’m still up for suggestions, but my go to is Hydrogen and an exit bag.

I just want to say thank you to the mods and people here who provide support. This site helps me get through the day without a mental break down

I’m crippled and my arms are the only thing that give me independence. I’ve wanted to CBT before my diagnosis, but now that I will lose functionality in my arms in the near future (within the year, maybe two? I dunno) I will also lose the choice to kill myself.

Please I don’t want to be forced in a flesh prison. Where people say I’m so strong and blessed to keep on going despite my complete dependence.

I need methods, anything, I thankfully have time to research throughly and prepare.

Originally I was going to get a job and save up for an apartment to be alone and reduce risk of survival.

Currently I live with my grandmother who prefers me to be housebound, so trips outside are rare unless they’re errands.

I do have a personal care assistant (PCA) who comes twice a month to drive me to a location of my choice. This was my doing, and my grandmother doesn’t like the idea.

Still, a PCA isn’t going to help me die. I need something discreet that I can hide.

Let’s assume money is not an issue, I’ll steal my grandmother’s credit card if my debit isn’t enough.

One condition though. It can’t be anything that requires a bit of physical labor, like hanging a noose. I’m in a wheelchair and can’t use my arms that much.

Ideally something I injest, but I know the body will try to reject it. I think I might be able to inject something with a needle though. Depends on where in my body though. For example, my neck would be nearly impossible and not be a precise entry.

Please just anything.

I’m going to drink to calm myself. Next time I respond I’ll be drunk, so please forgive any grammatical errors.
You probably mean "helium" and an exit bag, not hydrogen.

I'm disabled as well (spend most of my time lying in bed), so I can commiserate. Everyone has their own preference when it comes to self-deliverance, so for now I recommend reading the main euthanasia books. I think the best ones are The Peaceful Pill Handbook, Guide to a Humane Self-Chosen Death, and Dignified Dying.

Using the inert gas method may be a bit difficult for you since your grandma will be wondering why the heck you have giant tanks of gas in your room.

Drug overdose is a popular method, and if you have the funds, pentobarbital (a barbiturate) is the go-to choice. The book Dignified Dying narrows down the best drug options to barbiturates, opiates, and chloroquine.
 
El Topo

El Topo

(---)
Apr 21, 2018
480
1,248
By the way, have you read 2arms1head? It's about a guy who became paralyzed from the chest down after a motorcycle accident. Before he euthanized himself, he wrote a suicide note (more like a suicide book). It's quite interesting and moving.

http://www.2arms1head.com/
 
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MattWantsToDie

MattWantsToDie

-
Mar 23, 2018
3
1
By the way, have you read 2arms1head? It's about a guy who became paralyzed from the chest down after a motorcycle accident. Before he euthanized himself, he wrote a suicide note (more like a suicide book). It's quite interesting and moving.

http://www.2arms1head.com/
I will check it out. Thank you
 
MattWantsToDie

MattWantsToDie

-
Mar 23, 2018
3
1
You probably mean "helium" and an exit bag, not hydrogen.

I'm disabled as well (spend most of my time lying in bed), so I can commiserate. Everyone has their own preference when it comes to self-deliverance, so for now I recommend reading the main euthanasia books. I think the best ones are The Peaceful Pill Handbook, Guide to a Humane Self-Chosen Death, and Dignified Dying.

Using the inert gas method may be a bit difficult for you since your grandma will be wondering why the heck you have giant tanks of gas in your room.

Drug overdose is a popular method, and if you have the funds, pentobarbital (a barbiturate) is the go-to choice. The book Dignified Dying narrows down the best drug options to barbiturates, opiates, and chloroquine.
Thank you so much!
 
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Reactions: El Topo
Sonnenblume

Sonnenblume

Sunflower Panda
Apr 6, 2018
588
1,759
By the way, have you read 2arms1head? It's about a guy who became paralyzed from the chest down after a motorcycle accident. Before he euthanized himself, he wrote a suicide note (more like a suicide book). It's quite interesting and moving.

http://www.2arms1head.com/
I've read that before. I'm severely disabled as well. It's nice to see disabled people who aren't afraid to admit, you know what, this shit sucks.
 
El Topo

El Topo

(---)
Apr 21, 2018
480
1,248
I've read that before. I'm severely disabled as well. It's nice to see disabled people who aren't afraid to admit, you know what, this shit sucks.
Yeah, you know what really annoys me? Disabled people who make money as "motivational speakers." Ugh.

Have you seen a Spanish movie called The Sea Inside? It's based on a guy who became fully paralyzed and fought his entire life for the right to euthanize himself. He ended up using cyanide. There's one part where someone asks him, "Why do you want to die? You have a family who loves you, friends who support you, etc. etc." And he says something like, "Because bread crumbs are not enough." That's exactly how I feel.

My life was great before I became ill; but physical health is such a basic necessity for navigating the world, and without it, I feel like I'm rotting away. Like I already died a long time ago...
 
Sonnenblume

Sonnenblume

Sunflower Panda
Apr 6, 2018
588
1,759
Yeah, you know what really annoys me? Disabled people who make money as "motivational speakers." Ugh.

Have you seen a Spanish movie called The Sea Inside? It's based on a guy who became fully paralyzed and fought his entire life for the right to euthanize himself. He ended up using cyanide. There's one part where someone asks him, "Why do you want to die? You have a family who loves you, friends who support you, etc. etc." And he says something like, "Because bread crumbs are not enough." That's exactly how I feel.

My life was great before I became ill; but physical health is such a basic necessity for navigating the world, and without it, I feel like I'm rotting away. Like I already died a long time ago...
Oh god those motivational speakers are the worst, like the "no arms, no legs, no problem" asshole. I mean, fine, if he finds life acceptable, good for him, but that doesn't mean every other cripple has to as well.

I have seen The Sea Inside, I'd want to die in his position as well. There's barely any freedom in life even when you do have your health, but when you don't, just forget it. Game Over.
 
wanttodie

wanttodie

Illuminated
Apr 19, 2018
1,010
2,879
By the way, have you read 2arms1head? It's about a guy who became paralyzed from the chest down after a motorcycle accident. Before he euthanized himself, he wrote a suicide note (more like a suicide book). It's quite interesting and moving.

http://www.2arms1head.com/
I will check it out