My husband thinks I should be hospitalized

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SHThrowAway213

SHThrowAway213

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Apr 19, 2018
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I haven't told him about my latest attempt but I sent some worrying messages.
He's very worried and I feel very guilty.
He has sent back a message saying that he only has my best interests at heart and he thinks I should go to the hospital.
He says something needs to change.
I agree, but I don't think I'm considered severe enough for hospitalization.
I have tried getting help and was told I wasn't in the right mindset but I still see a psychologist.
I saw her a couple weeks ago and told her about my attempt. She knows I've tried twice in the last few months.
The real number I've tried is 7, at least.
He reaction was to get me to see a mental health nurse.
I don't know what is best for me.
I'm desperate.
I keep breaking down, I keep spamming here, I keep getting mood swings, I keep doing everything wrong and getting so stressed.
I'm so fucked.
 
randomz

randomz

Wise
Nov 4, 2019
202
352
Maybe you shoudl really try the hospital option. It might help you feel better and at peace. All you ahve to do is do your best to distract yourself as much as possible untill next week when the nurse will be able to see you. I know you can do it and it's worth a shot. :)
 
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RoseyBird

Wizard
Jan 20, 2020
698
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Only reason I’m not in a hospital is ex knows I would react poorly to that level of control. I’m in a similar place as you. I just want to die so badly a lot of the time, but can’t yet. I’ve considered drinking the SN then calling like 5 min later to get medical and psych, but am worried it will make me worse due to how they treat people.

It’s up to you if you want to try the hospital route it does help some people. Others come out and kill themself anyway.
 
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SHThrowAway213

SHThrowAway213

Help
Apr 19, 2018
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Only reason I’m not in a hospital is ex knows I would react poorly to that level of control. I’m in a similar place as you. I just want to die so badly a lot of the time, but can’t yet. I’ve considered drinking the SN then calling like 5 min later to get medical and psych, but am worried it will make me worse due to how they treat people.

It’s up to you if you want to try the hospital route it does help some people. Others come out and kill themself anyway.
I have actually been in Hospital before when I was 16.
Im 24 now and my mental health is just as bad.
 
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Suicide_vampire

Suicide_vampire

Veni Vidi Velcro
Feb 11, 2020
222
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If you actually want to be hospitalised, if you present at A&E, and tell them exactly what is going on with you especially if it's past office hours they might admit you for your own safety.
I knew someone in the past who did this and she was admitted to the mental health ward on a voluntary basis.
It might not work but it might and if hospital is what you want, I wish you luck. You appear to want help so keep talking and don't rush to any decisions.
And you're not spamming we are here for you.
 
SHThrowAway213

SHThrowAway213

Help
Apr 19, 2018
314
590
Maybe you shoudl really try the hospital option. It might help you feel better and at peace. All you ahve to do is do your best to distract yourself as much as possible untill next week when the nurse will be able to see you. I know you can do it and it's worth a shot. :)
The last time I was in hospital I found it useful.
This time it's a bit more complicated.
Last time, I was 16 living with my parents.
This time, I'm 24 with a husband, my flat, a dog, bills, a job etc.
I can't really take any time off.
I have bills to pay, I have responsibility now.
I can't just step away for a bit this time.
 
Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
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I am sorry you are feeling this way. If you feel you would like to be hospitalized (the choice is your) tell them you are suicidal with a plan and you fear you will hurt yourself. They will hospitalize you.

We are also here if you would like to talk. :heart:
 
SHThrowAway213

SHThrowAway213

Help
Apr 19, 2018
314
590
I am sorry you are feeling this way. If you feel you would like to be hospitalized (the choice is your) tell them you are suicidal with a plan and you fear you will hurt yourself. They will hospitalize you.

We are also here if you would like to talk. :heart:
Thank you
 
Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
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Thank you
I understand you can’t take off and responsibilities. Honestly, I do. However, if you need hospitalization, it is going to be darn difficult to complete them. Something to think about. As I am in the middle of a depression with SI who can get nothing done. ;)
 
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RoseyBird

Wizard
Jan 20, 2020
698
1,182
I understand you can’t take off and responsibilities. Honestly, I do. However, if you need hospitalization, it is going to be darn difficult to complete them. Something to think about. As I am in the middle of a depression with SI who can get nothing done. ;)
Exactly, eventually we get to a point we get nothing done anyway.
 
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Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
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Exactly, eventually we get to a point we get nothing done anyway.
I call it a vacation.... a vacation for reality. Hopefully, when the vacation is over, we are stable enough to live in reality. ;)
 
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RoseyBird

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Jan 20, 2020
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I call it a vacation.... a vacation for reality. Hopefully, when the vacation is over, we are stable enough to live in reality. ;)
I would do it, but kids would be super freaked out. Also, seems like once you leave everything is right as you left it, so what is there to not make people want to die again?
 
Banquo501

Banquo501

Wise
Feb 6, 2020
241
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I can deffo understand the stress of having bills to pay etc. But at the end of the day, you’re not going to be able to work and pay those bills if you aren’t well enough to work due to this, or if you ctb.

If you want help, and think you need it, thats more important than work and bills.
 
Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
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I would do it, but kids would be super freaked out. Also, seems like once you leave everything is right as you left it, so what is there to not make people want to die again?
How old are your children if you don’t mind me asking.

Sometimes, you need to escape from the problems. A change in scenery. A time to yourself to think. To help you develop coping mechanisms for all the issues that yes, will still be there.

However, you will come at those problems with a different set of eyes, and may see a different way of tackling it.

Like a project at work. You just can’t do it. Can’t figure it out. You step away from it and go to lunch. Come back refreshed and now see you you can get it done.
 
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RoseyBird

Wizard
Jan 20, 2020
698
1,182
How old are your children if you don’t mind me asking.

Sometimes, you need to escape from the problems. A change in scenery. A time to yourself to think. To help you develop coping mechanisms for all the issues that yes, will still be there.

However, you will come at those problems with a different set of eyes, and may see a different way of tackling it.

Like a project at work. You just can’t do it. Can’t figure it out. You step away from it and go to lunch. Come back refreshed and now see you you can get it done.
2, 5, and 8. I’m primary caregiver.
 
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a.n.kirillov

a.n.kirillov

velle non discitur
Nov 17, 2019
493
611
Hey. It is relatable that you worry about your responsibilities and the fact that even in such a life threatening situation, the first thing you think about is your career performance goes to show how stigmatizing and damaging our culture is right now towards people who are struggling.

If you really want to get help, it would be quite a statement to put yourself above your outside responsibilities and it would be a service to all of us; because if all of us just keep internalizing responsibility and guilt for our breakdowns and if we just keep on functioning until we see no other option than to take our own lives, nothing will ever change.

Maybe seeing it from this ethical perspective could help? I'm sorry I can't really solve your dilemma and if I could, I would.

Has your husband been understanding and supportive of you in the past?
 
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SHThrowAway213

SHThrowAway213

Help
Apr 19, 2018
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Hey. It is relatable that you worry about your responsibilities and the fact that even in such a life threatening situation, the first thing you think about is your career performance goes to show how stigmatizing and damaging our culture is right now towards people who are struggling.

If you really want to get help, it would be quite a statement to put yourself above your outside responsibilities and it would be a service to all of us; because if all of us just keep internalizing responsibility and guilt for our breakdowns and if we just keep on functioning until we see no other option than to take our own lives, nothing will ever change.

Maybe seeing it from this ethical perspective could help? I'm sorry I can't really solve your dilemma and if I could, I would.

Has your husband been understanding and supportive of you in the past?
It is a dilemma.
Yes, he is very understanding and supportive.
 
a.n.kirillov

a.n.kirillov

velle non discitur
Nov 17, 2019
493
611
That's good to hear. Do you blame yourself for your problems; I mean for them stressing your relationship?

And what did they mean by saying you weren't "in the right mindset"? I didn't get that at all...
 
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Quarky00

Quarky00

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Dec 17, 2019
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he only has my best interests at heart and he thinks I should go to the hospital.
Cool beans . And what does he say about jobs/bills ? :wink:

(Sorry for barging in like that , I was really frustrated by your situation and did not know what to say .. until this popped in)
 
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LucyJordan

Member
Dec 2, 2019
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"I can't really take any time off.
I have bills to pay, I have responsibility now.
I can't just step away for a bit this time."

These are the wrong arguments. They show you've lost already a big part of your identity.
If you keep using these arguments, you'll lose everything that's left.
Pick up the pieces; let the people who care for you really show they care.
Would this be as hard if you were diagnosed with a physical illness, e.g. cancer? In that case, your body says 'NO!'
In this case, seems to me that your mind, your soul says 'NO!'
What's the difference?

Big hug.
 
SHThrowAway213

SHThrowAway213

Help
Apr 19, 2018
314
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That's good to hear. Do you blame yourself for your problems; I mean for them stressing your relationship?

And what did they mean by saying you weren't "in the right mindset"? I didn't get that at all...
Yes I do, it's a lot of stress to put onto someone.
I have no idea, it baffled me as well
Cool beans . And what does he say about jobs/bills ? :wink:

(Sorry for barging in like that , I was really frustrated by your situation and did not know what to say .. until this popped in)
He has said that we will have to make it work.
I think he's more worried about me at the moment then about bills/money
 
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C

ClonesAnnoyMe

-
Feb 7, 2020
134
108
You have an amazing husband
Please treasure that

You sound like a lovely person who just needs a break from everything and I think the hospital is the best place for you at this moment in time

Speaking from experience im in in the psych hospital rn lol

Take some time out for yourself
You may still have thoughts that are intrusive but you will be better to assess your situation

Don't worry about money, it sounds like you're a boss ass woman who works hard
I don't think you will have issues

Sending u good energy
 
Quarky00

Quarky00

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Dec 17, 2019
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If you keep using these arguments, you'll lose everything that's left.
Bit too much ? ;) With mutual responsibility , husband and flat , putting everything aside can cause you to lose everything . I completely understand your point though :hug: Like, I just wouldn't say to a suicidal person "you'll lose everything" , ahh scary
~

He has said that we will have to make it work.
Then you have full freedom .

I don't think I'm considered severe enough for hospitalization.
. . . .
She knows I've tried twice in the last few months. The real number I've tried is 7, at least.
You've tried to kill yourself 7 times in recent months and that's not enough to be considered by doctors as "imminent danger" ? ;) I'm not saying you should go , just , again , you have control over your path .

I understand things are complicated , but what do you want to do ? :heart:

For example , do you feel pressured by husband , or do you feel hospital is useful ?

Sorry if I came off a bit blunt :hug:
 
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SHThrowAway213

SHThrowAway213

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Apr 19, 2018
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Bit too much ? ;) With mutual responsibility , husband and flat , putting everything aside can cause you to lose everything . I completely understand your point though :hug: Like, I just wouldn't say to a suicidal person "you'll lose everything" , ahh scary
~


Then you have full freedom .


You've tried to kill yourself 7 times in recent months and that's not enough to be considered by doctors as "imminent danger" ? ;) I'm not saying you should go , just , again , you have control over your path .

I understand things are complicated , but what do you want to do ? :heart:

For example , do you feel pressured by husband , or do you feel hospital is useful ?

Sorry if I came off a bit blunt :hug:
They only know about 2 of my attempts.
I'm not sure what I want to do.
I found the hospital useful when I was last there but it was different circumstances.
I think the reason my husband suggested it is because he's extremely worried at the moment that he's going to come home and find me dead.
I'm not sure how helpful it would be this time
 
Quarky00

Quarky00

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Dec 17, 2019
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I'm not sure how helpful it would be this time
Why do you have your doubts about hospital treatment now ?
I think it's good to have these , just wondering , of course only if you feel comfortable . You are not "spamming" here :hug:
 
SHThrowAway213

SHThrowAway213

Help
Apr 19, 2018
314
590
Why do you have your doubts about hospital treatment now ?
I think it's good to have these , just wondering , of course only if you feel comfortable . You are not "spamming" here :hug:
I think I will be too worried about money this time and how my husband is doing.
And I'll be away from him which won't do me any good
 
Quarky00

Quarky00

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Dec 17, 2019
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I think I will be too worried about money this time and how my husband is doing.
And I'll be away from him which won't do me any good
Just shows how much you care for him :heart: And how much he cares for you: "we'll make it work" . Look at you two :wink:
I think he'll visit you. They give breaks to patients. Try talking to him about this.

Do you think hospitalization would be good for you -- if he'll manage, you sort out money problems, and you keep in touch?
 
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Lostandfound7

Lostandfound7

Just waiting....
Jan 21, 2020
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You have an amazing husband
Please treasure that

You sound like a lovely person who just needs a break from everything and I think the hospital is the best place for you at this moment in time

Speaking from experience im in in the psych hospital rn lol

Take some time out for yourself
You may still have thoughts that are intrusive but you will be better to assess your situation

Don't worry about money, it sounds like you're a boss ass woman who works hard
I don't think you will have issues

Sending u good energy
R u really in the psych hosp right now n giving AMAZING advice n such wise counsel??!!
I think I will be too worried about money this time and how my husband is doing.
And I'll be away from him which won't do me any good
U have an awesome husband who loves u n is interested in ur well-being! I say get the help n do what's best for YOU and ur fam! Sending u love n strength!
 
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ClonesAnnoyMe

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Feb 7, 2020
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Please keep us updated on how you're doing and what's going on. We're here to help and honestly the hospital really helped me hope it does the same for you
 
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SHThrowAway213

SHThrowAway213

Help
Apr 19, 2018
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590
Just shows how much you care for him :heart: And how much he cares for you: "we'll make it work" . Look at you two :wink:
I think he'll visit you. They give breaks to patients. Try talking to him about this.

Do you think hospitalization would be good for you -- if he'll manage, you sort out money problems, and you keep in touch?
I have a feeling he's going to bring up tonight so hopefully I'll talk to him then about it.
He's very special to me.
In an ideal world, I think it would.
 
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