Mental health groups fail

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Cashewmilk

Cashewmilk

Veteran
Mar 10, 2020
156
288
Everytime I try to join a support group for mental health, I can't relate to anyone at all. They're all just drones like the neurotypical, complaining about petty little shit and looking for perfection, ungrateful for their cushy lives. I feel like I can't talk to anyone about my thoughts on mental health. I'm way way too scared to try to see a therapist, especially here in my town it's impossible, especially because I'm a full time addict. They don't like talking to people who aren't sober, and anytime I try to talk to someone, they're always rushed, flustered, and tired and careless (I can't afford proper healthcare). Most I could get is a counselor, but I hate how my last counselor was harassing me to get better and get clean, like you can't make someone if they don't want to. Another thing that pisses me off about mental health teams, they like to blame all my symptoms on drugs, like it's a drug induced illness. Except I was having symptoms way before drug use, since childhood... but nobody wants to acknowledge it they just want the easy way out. I often wonder why psychiatrists become psychiatrists as well, and therapists etc. I'd trust one who has suffered from a disorder over one who had a preppy life and did it to impress others and gain social status among their communities.

In mental health groups online, there is a huge disproportionate among everyone. Most of them are living with very mild symptoms, their "illness" does nothing to destroy their lives, it's simply an inconvenience (I don't get how that's considered an illness?). They were just able to access good health-care and pay a psych to give them a diagnosis. It just seems like a bunch of people who are already doing really good and wanting better, wanting perfection. That's what I got from reading the posts in some groups on FB and reddit.
 
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A

a.n.kirillov

Why is there something rather than cheesecake?
Nov 17, 2019
1,698
2,742
Look, I am not an extrovert or sociable person myself. But with an attitude like this:

They're all just drones like the neurotypical, complaining about petty little shit and looking for perfection,

you are unlikely to succeed in your quest.

What are you expecting to get out of a group?

I often wonder why psychiatrists become psychiatrists as well,

You said it – status, power, money, self expression.
 
madbananas

madbananas

Veteran
Apr 29, 2020
165
392
I'd trust one who has suffered from a disorder over one who had a preppy life and did it to impress others and gain social status among their communities.
This. I’ve suffered, and suffered recently, tried to ctb on impulse and now I’m being coerced into not expressing my sadness because if I do, my career as a mental healthcare worker is going to be on the line.
Most importantly, I am so sorry how they are being stigmatisers and using your addiction as a way to complicate access to help. The system is overly complex. We aren’t allowed to just connect with humans as humans should. I doubt when you were a child you’d reply “addict” when your teacher asked what you wanted to be when you grow up. Don’t give up though. Have you any advocacy services in your area that could advocate for you? They might be helpful in getting your care sorted.
 
Cashewmilk

Cashewmilk

Veteran
Mar 10, 2020
156
288
Look, I am not an extrovert or sociable person myself. But with an attitude like this:

They're all just drones like the neurotypical, complaining about petty little shit and looking for perfection,

you are unlikely to succeed in your quest.

I kind of already knew that. The whole thing seems totally fake to me.

What are you expecting to get out of a group?

Just curious to see if there's anyone else like me out there, so far haven't found any there. But I can totally relate to some on here though, I feel like there's more on this site that could be similar to me. I want to know if I'm just extremely abnormal and how severe my illness is, turns out it's too severe for any online group lol! I've even joined other types of groups, for survivors and victims, I still end up being the worst case that scares all the members. The difference with me is how I turned out, I'm literally a step away from extreme rock bottom, like street homeless or trafficked, most other people who had a traumatic past are doing really well now, I can't even imagine myself being like normal people... like somebody said once on this site: "I'm broken and don't work in this world". I am also wanting to know what kind of illness I might have. Since I can't get a real diagnosis, I have to settle for a pseudo one, just for my own peace of mind. I thought before going into this, that I'd probably be able to find feelings I can relate to, what better place to try than the world wide web? There's 7 billion people out there, there's gotta be at least 1 person who has similar thoughts and feelings and hardships. Instead I found some similarities in other places - like here, antinatalist and misanthropic groups. I'm a pessimist because really, what is there to be positive about :haha: look at this horrible world, only a lucky few get true happiness and security, while billions starve and slave for the lucky few.

I often wonder why psychiatrists become psychiatrists as well,

You said it – status, power, money, self expression.
 
NoSuprises

NoSuprises

Member
Dec 17, 2019
25
65
Everytime I try to join a support group for mental health, I can't relate to anyone at all. They're all just drones like the neurotypical, complaining about petty little shit and looking for perfection, ungrateful for their cushy lives. I feel like I can't talk to anyone about my thoughts on mental health. I'm way way too scared to try to see a therapist, especially here in my town it's impossible, especially because I'm a full time addict. They don't like talking to people who aren't sober, and anytime I try to talk to someone, they're always rushed, flustered, and tired and careless (I can't afford proper healthcare). Most I could get is a counselor, but I hate how my last counselor was harassing me to get better and get clean, like you can't make someone if they don't want to. Another thing that pisses me off about mental health teams, they like to blame all my symptoms on drugs, like it's a drug induced illness. Except I was having symptoms way before drug use, since childhood... but nobody wants to acknowledge it they just want the easy way out. I often wonder why psychiatrists become psychiatrists as well, and therapists etc. I'd trust one who has suffered from a disorder over one who had a preppy life and did it to impress others and gain social status among their communities.

In mental health groups online, there is a huge disproportionate among everyone. Most of them are living with very mild symptoms, their "illness" does nothing to destroy their lives, it's simply an inconvenience (I don't get how that's considered an illness?). They were just able to access good health-care and pay a psych to give them a diagnosis. It just seems like a bunch of people who are already doing really good and wanting better, wanting perfection. That's what I got from reading the posts in some groups on FB and reddit.
I can definitely relate to a lot of that. I'm not currently taking anything at the moment but I was addicted to benzos for half of the last decade (up until last year) and it was used as a reason not to treat me by my local mental health services. Not that the pathetic CBT bromides that I eventually got from them did any good anyway.
 
Cashewmilk

Cashewmilk

Veteran
Mar 10, 2020
156
288
This. I’ve suffered, and suffered recently, tried to ctb on impulse and now I’m being coerced into not expressing my sadness because if I do, my career as a mental healthcare worker is going to be on the line.
Most importantly, I am so sorry how they are being stigmatisers and using your addiction as a way to complicate access to help. The system is overly complex. We aren’t allowed to just connect with humans as humans should. I doubt when you were a child you’d reply “addict” when your teacher asked what you wanted to be when you grow up. Don’t give up though. Have you any advocacy services in your area that could advocate for you? They might be helpful in getting your care sorted.
Your experience just totally confirms the fact that the whole system is fake and unreliable. I think society still has a long way to go, there is much progress to be made... future generations will look back on this and cringe.

I don't have any care at all whatsoever. It's like talking to a brick wall. I've tried for 15 years, I was constantly denied and excused by my family doctor, he just wasn't interested in helping in any way, and my mom didn't know what to do, I was just a kid so I didn't. I don't know if this is common elsewhere, but there's this insensitive attitude here from the healthcare workers, it seems like they're fed up and exhausted. We do have a severe shortage of doctors here. I've been told by many workers that I need to suck it up and just deal with it. I mean they're not wrong, right? I do have it better than half the planet, everyone here does so it's no surprise they have this attitude. I feel like a burden, and like I don't deserve to take up so much time and resources from others who have it worse or a more promising outcome, or more to lose. Especially now with my age, I'm sure I'll get laughed at and sarcasm and disbelief that I've actually been suffering for 15 years and living like this, without finding help. It's unbelievable the kind of "care" I've gotten from "professionals". I'm too terrified to even ask for help, I'm not ready for that. It's just not going to happen. I do not trust the health care system and mental health system with the way they've treated me.
 
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RileyTanaka

RileyTanaka

ill / failure
Mar 20, 2020
169
376
What is your primary goal right now in accessing treatment? Some questions to consider:
  • Do I want to get clean? Do I want harm reduction?
  • Do I want to focus on my mental health? Where can I find a mental health space with people who are seeking similar goals as me?
  • Do I need more resources to meet my goal? What kind?
Answering these questions first can help you find clues to your next step and finding the right resources. Being in a group full of people who are not trying to battle dual problems of addiction/mental health may be a clue that this isn't the right space. But there are probably others that fit better with your financial and emotional situation. There are plenty of sliding scale clinics that can offer counseling/therapy at low/no cost if you're low income.

Having said that, most people will probably think that using and trying to recover your mental health will be at cross-purposes with one another, and that is something you'll likely need to get used to hearing, as annoying as it is. It's important to adjust expectations for group therapy in particular, because most of the heavy lifting will happen outside these meetings (whether it's group or individual therapy). If something feels off about this resource, maybe you need to re-assess what's missing and see if there's a better one elsewhere - but also it may mean re-tooling your priorities.
 
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Fumito

Fumito

May 1, 2020
251
355
hey're all just drones like the neurotypical, complaining about petty little shit and looking for perfection, ungrateful for their cushy lives. I feel like I can't talk to anyone about my thoughts on mental health.
kinda relatable honestly. sometimes i wish i had other people's problems because a lot of them don't seem so bad, at least compared to problems i have.
 
Cashewmilk

Cashewmilk

Veteran
Mar 10, 2020
156
288
What is your primary goal right now in accessing treatment? Some questions to consider:
  • Do I want to get clean? Do I want harm reduction?
  • Do I want to focus on my mental health? Where can I find a mental health space with people who are seeking similar goals as me?
  • Do I need more resources to meet my goal? What kind?
Answering these questions first can help you find clues to your next step and finding the right resources. Being in a group full of people who are not trying to battle dual problems of addiction/mental health may be a clue that this isn't the right space. But there are probably others that fit better with your financial and emotional situation. There are plenty of sliding scale clinics that can offer counseling/therapy at low/no cost if you're low income.

Having said that, most people will probably think that using and trying to recover your mental health will be at cross-purposes with one another, and that is something you'll likely need to get used to hearing, as annoying as it is. It's important to adjust expectations for group therapy in particular, because most of the heavy lifting will happen outside these meetings (whether it's group or individual therapy). If something feels off about this resource, maybe you need to re-assess what's missing and see if there's a better one elsewhere - but also it may mean re-tooling your priorities.
I'm not trying to get better right now, and I don't want to stop using yet. I just want to know what is wrong with me, and I want to know how it happened and when it started. I have some very severe debilitating issues that I haven't really found anyone else who has the same, except on this website, like someone else said, "I'm broken and don't work". That sums it up in a nutshell, been that way since I was a small child, was saying something similar like that a year before my first suicide attempt and first time using drugs, so it's definitely not a side effect of drug use. I'm a bit tired of people blaming my mental illness on my drug use, because it happened before I ever touched a drug, I was too young. Since I can't get real access to actual mental health because of my drug use, the most I can do is talk to people online. That is all I have. The BPD spectrum seems to fit my illness, but only to a point...it goes further than that and worse, so I already know I'm bipolar I was diagnosed in the past. Who knows, maybe it's not just an illness, maybe it's my whole philosophy and outlook on life. I really don't feel motivated to "get better" so I can go and have to work, or look for money all the time, just to survive and find some sliver of happiness and contentment (right now I have my family for that, but what happens when they're gone?), and be just another slave for rich people. That sounds like shit to me, I'd rather be dead honestly, I don't like how this world is and how we're supposed to live our lives, it sucks, and I want no part of it. Hopefully my bad health habits will pay off one day.