Looking for a suicide partner in the U.S. who has the resources for a painless method.

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I

Iscrewupeverything

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May 26, 2018
49
188
U.S.
Posting on the main forum due to higher transparency.

My quality of life is horrendous and it will stay that way, I will have to settle for mediocrity at best in life and I can't emotionally handle it (I'm autistic along with having traits of a vivid imagination/maladaptive daydreamer, which has bred high standards), as a person who craves stimulation I can't deal with average careers and relationships. I'm definitely willing to work for what I want, I don't expect it to be handed to me, but the problem is I'll always fall short (pun intended, I'm a 5'1 male, yeah, you read that right.) because I'm a developmentally stunted autistic loser, which means I'm highly likely to underachieve, regardless of how ambitious I am.



WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR:



A suicidal person with a plan who has the resources for a painless method, who lives in the U.S. who would be open to taking a suicidal person under their wing, en route to suicide. I literally lack resources across the board, I can't work due to crippling social anxiety/avoidant symptoms and I was denied disability. I'm struggling finding online work right now. I'm ready to die, but I can't afford a painless method.



WHY:



A multitude of reasons.



Here's my life story, this is why I want to commit suicide: https://www.longecity.org/forum/topic/101525-how-do-i-eliminate-these-life-threatening-adhd-conditions-my-youth-is-being-wasted/



I've basically realized that every single worst fear of mine is highly likely going to be realized, and I'd rather be dead than deal with a less than mediocre life.



Asperger's, ADHD on the verge of imitation low IQ, PTSD from family abuse, severe depression/anxiety, maximum ratings on loneliness scales, uneducated across the board, living with my emotionally unstable/abusive family at the age of 24, extremely likely to waste my 20s and 30s catching up in life missing out on valuable experiences, extremely unattractive man (acne scars, recessed chin/mandible, extremely short, the list goes on and MOD EDIT: personal information



This depression and anxiety doesn't root from low self-esteem or cognitive/emotional distortions, I have literally all the statistical traits of a low-status/inferior man in society. I wasn't born with mental illness, I developed it through extremely horrendous circumstances. I've reached the pinnacle of alienation. This is ex-life Hitler shit.



My suicide method:



https://pastebin.com/cY1YHu6g



If this can't be done then I can settle for the standard opiate + benzo combo.



My life is completely fucked and at this point death is the far better option. Seriously, I feel like if I live to 26, I may end up going insane, if not later, and potentially do something stupid and/or dangerous. Suicide could also be utilized as damage control. I am certain that this is the correct option in this deal.



If you're willing to drop a line, send a message.
 
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Made4TV

Made4TV

A hopeless hope junkie
Sep 17, 2018
491
1,949
high
...especially with someone who admittedly screws up everything and also claims they don't want to be handed anything. At the risk of sounding like a total asshole...if you want to work for something in life... start here.
 
I

Iscrewupeverything

-
May 26, 2018
49
188
U.S.
...especially with someone who admittedly screws up everything and also claims they don't want to be handed anything. At the risk of sounding like a total asshole...if you want to work for something in life... start here.
No, I was referring to what I want out of life and goals of mine. It's not that I particularly want to die, it's just a backup plan due to extreme failure. At this point, life becomes torture, being exposed to things and experiences you will never have. Severe demotivation towards practically everything comes along with being suicidal.

I actually applied for a job at McDonalds a few weeks ago, and I didn't even get a call back. McDonalds.
 
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