Venting Lonely?

sadgirl2002

sadgirl2002

متيم
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Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
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Yes. Even surrounded by friends and family, their company feels cheap. Maybe I’m just an ingrate. No one that my mind can truly connect with at the moment is in my life anyway.
 
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Gnip

Gnip

Bill the Cat
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Yes, but knowing now that I was born with Asperger's, that was always going to be the case. I have experienced rapport for only a few fleeting moments at a time in my life, so I have experienced what it would be like to not be lonely. However, all of the best times in my life were spent by myself, never in the company of others.

As long as my mother is alive, I can be alone. (She prefers reading or playing solitaire herself, and was an only child who moved a few times and formed no lifelong connections.) The instant something happens to her though, I will CTB in order to enforce continuing to be alone. (Her philosophy is that we're born alone, live alone and die alone, an outlook I increasingly wish I'd always desired.)

Being with others ruined my life, starting with first grade at age six. I was bullied and hated being with others. I hated school, and worked by myself whenever possible. I want to be alone, or dead.

On the internet, I am always alone, in isolation. COVID has supplied a convenient excuse for my remaining antisocial. In a collectivist society, I'd have ended my life eons ago. (Enforced socialization is the only reason I am a member here. I would not be contemplating ending my life if I was entirely home schooled, then forced to work with others.)
 
Uncle Donk

Uncle Donk

I tried. I really did.
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I live with a partner yet I still feel really lonely sometimes. Don't know what's wrong with me.
 

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