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Just ate a bunch of food again. I'm tired of this

BitterlyAlive

BitterlyAlive

Tired of the pain.
Joined
Apr 8, 2020
Messages
1,346
I had two tacos, a box of crackers, and two packs of chocolate. I feel like a fifthy disgusting pig. I wish I could stop this, but my reaction is to heavily restrict which makes everything worse.
 
Squiddy

Squiddy

Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
Joined
Sep 4, 2019
Messages
3,976
Hmm, I'd have to look at them again
 
Maxtothemax

Maxtothemax

Tired of life
Joined
Jul 9, 2020
Messages
758
I was really good during the first few months of quarantine. I would work out every day etc. But then I kinda gave up because it was like, what’s the point if I’m gonna die anyway. I’m considering starting to get into a healthy routine again. Anyone wanna be my workout buddy?

I watched a lot of Blogilates videos on YouTube. She does a workout calendar every month that you can follow, where each day you watch and workout to a few of her videos.
 
BitterlyAlive

BitterlyAlive

Tired of the pain.
Joined
Apr 8, 2020
Messages
1,346
I was really good during the first few months of quarantine. I would work out every day etc. But then I kinda gave up because it was like, what’s the point if I’m gonna die anyway. I’m considering starting to get into a healthy routine again. Anyone wanna be my workout buddy?

I watched a lot of Blogilates videos on YouTube. She does a workout calendar every month that you can follow, where each day you watch and workout to a few of her videos.
I'm not nearly bold enough to be workout buddys with anyone, but I really hope someone here responds. Accountability can make all the difference, and it seems more fun with a friend too. Sorry for the late response - I read this and then completely forgot about it :(
 
S

SipSop

Specialist
Joined
May 7, 2020
Messages
325
I am on the other side of the spectrum.
Barely eat. Only when I am rrally hungry I eat something to not go crazy.
I have no reason to look good, to eat healthy, to exercise and put on muscles.
I have no reason.
Everything I did was not enough.
I was not enough at my best damn shape.
 
M

madbananas

she/her
Joined
Apr 29, 2020
Messages
482
I could eat and eat and eat. So I get how you feel. Hugs :hug:
on the weekend I will get a McDonald’s and basically order about 4 different sandwiches/burgers, portion of fries and two drinks. Im 5ft 4 and 200lbs. Thankfully my weekdays aren’t like that, but they have been in the past.
 
BitterlyAlive

BitterlyAlive

Tired of the pain.
Joined
Apr 8, 2020
Messages
1,346
I am on the other side of the spectrum.
Barely eat. Only when I am rrally hungry I eat something to not go crazy.
I have no reason to look good, to eat healthy, to exercise and put on muscles.
I have no reason.
Everything I did was not enough.
I was not enough at my best damn shape.
I was on the other side when this depressive episode began. I literally felt too sick to eat. Then my meds fucked me up and here we are. And I'm too lazy to actively change my situation.

Is there something that prevents you from eating, mate?
I could eat and eat and eat. So I get how you feel. Hugs :hug:
on the weekend I will get a McDonald’s and basically order about 4 different sandwiches/burgers, portion of fries and two drinks. Im 5ft 4 and 200lbs. Thankfully my weekdays aren’t like that, but they have been in the past.
Ah fuck the McDonald's thing is me. Fish filet, nuggets, mcdouble, and maybe a fry. I've really been this way since I was a kid. I would eat like this to try and fill the void, I think. I'm glad it's only weekends for you now; any amount of progress is huge! :hug:
 
M

madbananas

she/her
Joined
Apr 29, 2020
Messages
482
I was on the other side when this depressive episode began. I literally felt too sick to eat. Then my meds fucked me up and here we are. And I'm too lazy to actively change my situation.

Is there something that prevents you from eating, mate?

Ah fuck the McDonald's thing is me. Fish filet, nuggets, mcdouble, and maybe a fry. I've really been this way since I was a kid. I would eat like this to try and fill the void, I think. I'm glad it's only weekends for you now; any amount of progress is huge! :hug:
I also love the fish filet! Sometimes I get two of them with extra tartare sauce. And a double quarter pounder with cheese, Big Mac. Sometimes even some mozzarella sticks.
My medication also fucked me up, making me crave carbs big time! And thank you. I mean I still eat rubbish during the week but not like I do on weekends. Basically No takeaways during week for me but still processed food all the way ;-;:pfff::hug:
 
BitterlyAlive

BitterlyAlive

Tired of the pain.
Joined
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Messages
1,346
I also love the fish filet! Sometimes I get two of them with extra tartare sauce. And a double quarter pounder with cheese, Big Mac. Sometimes even some mozzarella sticks.
My medication also fucked me up, making me crave carbs big time! And thank you. I mean I still eat rubbish during the week but not like I do on weekends. Basically No takeaways during week for me but still processed food all the way ;-;:pfff::hug:
WHAT your McDonald's has mozzarella sticks? No fair. Ours was only temporary lmao. Ya know, I don't even like eating. It's just a gross compulsion and a delusion that I'll feel any better after chomping away. Lmao. Also yes on the processed foods. Cooking is too tiring.

I often worry that I'm not really depressed or that there's something else wrong because the antidepressants shifted my eating habits so bad. Stupid
 
M

madbananas

she/her
Joined
Apr 29, 2020
Messages
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WHAT your McDonald's has mozzarella sticks? No fair. Ours was only temporary lmao. Ya know, I don't even like eating. It's just a gross compulsion and a delusion that I'll feel any better after chomping away. Lmao. Also yes on the processed foods. Cooking is too tiring.

I often worry that I'm not really depressed or that there's something else wrong because the antidepressants shifted my eating habits so bad. Stupid
same here and I always feel worse afterward, both physically (obviously lol) and emotionally.
And well they are on our menu right now lol I better get some before they leave :pfff: :pfff: Cue me eating them every day from now on until they leave the menu (jokes haha).
And 100% try not to judge your own experience based on effects of antidepressants because the side effect list of them is basically everything under the sun. If you feel depressed, then that is completely valid. And also, because you feel it’s linked to medication use, I would say that’s a sign that the medication is doing something, whether that’s beneficial or not so much.:hug:
 
Valon

Valon

Member
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Sep 14, 2020
Messages
63
I basically have a fast food addiction but I don't really care to change my bad habits. I don't plan on living that much longer and I feel like food is the only thing that's reliable in this shitty world. Food isn't ever gonna let you down.
 
BitterlyAlive

BitterlyAlive

Tired of the pain.
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I wish I could make nice home-made comfort food for you all. It'd be just as satisfying just more healthy.

I'd be feeling just as guilty for starving for days now, but it is pointless. I don't see much time left anyway to care if I look like a skeleton.
Your comment is so thoughtful and kind!

I live with my parents who make plenty of comfort meals, fortunately - we're having homemade spaghetti and meatballs later. I also managed to make homemade meals for a while earlier this year because I was living with someone else. I can't be kind enough to myself, or muster the energy for myself, to cook anymore. Scrambled eggs on a very good day, and that's it. Sigh
same here and I always feel worse afterward, both physically (obviously lol) and emotionally.
And well they are on our menu right now lol I better get some before they leave :pfff: :pfff: Cue me eating them every day from now on until they leave the menu (jokes haha).
And 100% try not to judge your own experience based on effects of antidepressants because the side effect list of them is basically everything under the sun. If you feel depressed, then that is completely valid. And also, because you feel it’s linked to medication use, I would say that’s a sign that the medication is doing something, whether that’s beneficial or not so much.:hug:
Lmfao I wouldn't judge if you got them every day. They're tasty. I remember years ago we had a steak breakfast burrito...if I knew it was going away I would have gotten it daily :sunglasses:

You're right. At least the meds did something. :)
I basically have a fast food addiction but I don't really care to change my bad habits. I don't plan on living that much longer and I feel like food is the only thing that's reliable in this shitty world. Food isn't ever gonna let you down.
Ya know what, if you're planning on dying soon anyway why not? And damn right, food is always there for you. Lmao
 
Last edited:
Maxtothemax

Maxtothemax

Tired of life
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Jul 9, 2020
Messages
758
My problem isn’t that I’m not eating healthily, I’m just not getting enough exercise in so my weight is just stuck. Luckily it’s not going up but it’s not going down either.

Thanks to covid, I’ve not been ordering food or going out to buy fast food since March so my food habits are better. I would love to give being a vegan a go but it’s hard enough trying to be vegetarian in an Asian household.
 
M

madbananas

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Apr 29, 2020
Messages
482
Your comment is so thoughtful and kind!

I live with my parents who make plenty of comfort meals, fortunately - we're having homemade spaghetti and meatballs later. I also managed to make homemade meals for a while earlier this year because I was living with someone else. I can't be kind enough to myself, or muster the energy for myself, to cook anymore. Scrambled eggs on a very good day, and that's it. Sigh

Lmfao I wouldn't judge if you got them every day. They're tasty. I remember years ago we had a steak breakfast burrito...if I knew it was going away I would have gotten it daily :sunglasses:

You're right. At least the meds did something. :)

Ya know what, if you're planning on dying soon anyway why not? And damn right, food is always there for you. Lmao
I’m devastated that McDonald’s in my area used to have a breakfast wrap but stupid COVID got it removed! Was my favourite breakfast item!
 
BitterlyAlive

BitterlyAlive

Tired of the pain.
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I’m devastated that McDonald’s in my area used to have a breakfast wrap but stupid COVID got it removed! Was my favourite breakfast item!
Breakfast wrap? Like the breakfast burritos with sausage, eggs, peppers, and cheese? Man, COVID ruined so many things. The struggle
 
M

madbananas

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Messages
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Breakfast wrap? Like the breakfast burritos with sausage, eggs, peppers, and cheese? Man, COVID ruined so many things. The struggle
I wish! I would have loved a burrito. the breakfast wrap here had a sausage patty, egg, cheese, bacon and a hash brown (technically a potato rosti but basically same thing and I loved it just as much). Also came with either tomato ketchup or brown sauce :love::love::heart:
 
BitterlyAlive

BitterlyAlive

Tired of the pain.
Joined
Apr 8, 2020
Messages
1,346
I wish! I would have loved a burrito. the breakfast wrap here had a sausage patty, egg, cheese, bacon and a hash brown (technically a potato rosti but basically same thing and I loved it just as much). Also came with either tomato ketchup or brown sauce :love::love::heart:
Okay that sounds really good. Get on it, McDonald's! Come on!

On another note, it reminds me of when I worked at McDonald's and we always made shit like that. We loved making "tacos" with the reg meat. Mmm
 
S

SipSop

Specialist
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Messages
325
Is there something that prevents you from eating, mate?
No, I have food and money to buy whatever I please.
But my body does not ask for much food and to answer your question: it is more like a mental block. I do not see the reason in taking care of myself. To eat, in order to have energy to workout and look good and well fed. I do not see the point of it, it seems too much effort for nothing. Nothing to gain, no goals worth pursuing. I wanted something more than life and I failed. From then it was only down the hill for me.
 
woxihuanni

woxihuanni

Angelic
Joined
Aug 19, 2019
Messages
2,380
Your comment is so thoughtful and kind!

I live with my parents who make plenty of comfort meals, fortunately - we're having homemade spaghetti and meatballs later. I also managed to make homemade meals for a while earlier this year because I was living with someone else. I can't be kind enough to myself, or muster the energy for myself, to cook anymore. Scrambled eggs on a very good day, and that's it. Sigh
You are not alone in this :hug: It is almost universal that if we eat alone we don't have motivation to cook anything complicated, or anything at all.
 
BitterlyAlive

BitterlyAlive

Tired of the pain.
Joined
Apr 8, 2020
Messages
1,346
You are not alone in this :hug: It is almost universal that if we eat alone we don't have motivation to cook anything complicated, or anything at all.
Mmm, thank you. I guess you're right. Depression makes it so easy to feel alone
No, I have food and money to buy whatever I please.
But my body does not ask for much food and to answer your question: it is more like a mental block. I do not see the reason in taking care of myself. To eat, in order to have energy to workout and look good and well fed. I do not see the point of it, it seems too much effort for nothing. Nothing to gain, no goals worth pursuing. I wanted something more than life and I failed. From then it was only down the hill for me.
That's perfectly understandable. It's a rough spot to be in - I feel the same way towards myself.
I struggle with overeating too. I eat to comfort myself but it makes me feel worse after.
Yes, the shame following whatever this is hurts so bad.
 
N

noaccount

Specialist
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Oct 26, 2019
Messages
304
There's really not

such a thing as "eating too much"

it's what our bodies do to survive

The message that there is, pushes people to restrict more.

Shame is a product of an abusive fatphobic culture, not a property of any of the things you nourished yourself with.

After any kind of starvation, the body needs extra energy (calories) to repair tissue damage, often for much longer than the starvation lasted - Minnesota starvation experiments showed this.

 
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