It's over for me i have to kill myself in the next few weeks please help with tips

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M

Mljonzy

Veteran
Aug 21, 2018
144
527
The method is partial suspension this will be my second ever attempt. I know how to set everything up and wondering if there are any drugs i can buy to help me get over survival instinct. The first time i tried i just couldn't let go when i started to feel myself passing out i was unsure i really wanted to die at the time but things are different now. I am certain about doing this and i need to do it within the next few weeks because i can't take it anymore. My life has been terrible social anxiety completely destroyed it and if someone laughs at me again because of my anxiety i might kill them. Then there is the fact i am 30 and a virgin never had any love i just can't take it too much pain. I have to end it guys before the end of the year at the latest i am determined to go back to what it was like before i was born it needs to happen guys. I am scared but the pain has to stop i know this will destroy my parents but their son needs to be out of pain no good suffering so much everyday. I'm at peace with leaving everything behind job needs to be done i don't have much more to say i feel awful about how my life has been and i have no regrets by the end of the year i have to be dead no backing out this time or fucking around on suicide forums i have to be brave and get myself out of pain.
 
Sweet emotion

Sweet emotion

Arcanist
Sep 14, 2019
555
689
Can't you drink a lot and take a bunch of Benadryl? Do you have any Xanax or muscle relaxers?
 
H

HellLife2

Member
Oct 1, 2019
53
19
You can overcome your social anxiety through exposure to social environments. It won’t be easy. But a year or two of lots of work and you can have a great dating life and maybe the ability to meet great new friends.

You’re in pain and may face a lot of rejections. But your social skills will get better and better with exposure and practice. And then you’ll have a great social life.

Emotional pain is horrible. But therapy can help and motivate you to try and try again. That’s when your anxiety will go down.
 
thrw_a_way1221221

thrw_a_way1221221

Angel of Choice
Aug 30, 2018
2,567
9,843
I'm sorry to hear your situation and your situation does hit close to home as well. While I may be a bit younger than you are, I too am an virgin and also suffer from social anxiety as well as Aspergers. I do recommend studying the methods and asking questions specific to your method of choice (partial hanging in this case) and get as much information as you can. You don't want to fail hanging as you could end up as a vegetable so it's better to be more prepared than less prepared. Best wishes in finding peace in the coming weeks.

@Sweet emotion I don't think OTC drugs are necessarily effective to CTB and even if someone does consume a lot of a certain drug, not only is it unreliable, it could also cause a lot of suffering and pain, possibly permanent damage to the body (along with a long stay at a psych ward - which is the last thing he needs).

@Kornyboyo While I do agree with your sentiment as a whole, I don't agree with the suggestion of therapy since it can be risky going to a professional. We don't know his situation inside and out and I would not suggest therapy as a first option since it's something that has been overly suggested/recommended even outside of this forum.
 
I

I’vehadenough

Arcanist
Sep 16, 2018
587
972
You need to REALLY think about this. Your 30 years old and you want to cbt because of social anxiety. There are people on here SUFFERING. You need to go to therapy and exhaust all options before making any other decisions.
I agree! I wish I was 30 with social anxiety! I would want to live!
 
Dawn0071111

Dawn0071111

Hungry Ghost
Dec 9, 2018
575
1,301
Somewhere Over The Rainbow
I am going to guess you probably have tried something for the social anxiety before you got to this point? im also hearing the lonliness, despair. .... No one wants to ctb over one thing... it may seem that way on the surface .. but emotional turmoil is awful... only you can know whats right for you... most people here seem to be planning, researching, getting support. Others just jump in, and boom. They are gone. Your post seems so full of pain and despair... sometimes it can pass, but other times we have a problem that is beyond solving in our own capabilities for whatever reason. Just know your in good company here... you will find your way in this.. reach out any time

Huggzzz
 
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M

Mljonzy

Veteran
Aug 21, 2018
144
527
You need to REALLY think about this. Your 30 years old and you want to cbt because of social anxiety. There are people on here SUFFERING. You need to go to therapy and exhaust all options before making any other decisions.
Fuck you social anxiety is awful seriously fuck you you have no idea of what it does to someone. I am suffering beyond words you have no right to dismiss social anxiety like it is not a big deal you can fuck off.
I agree! I wish I was 30 with social anxiety! I would want to live!
You wouldn't it is so much worse than you think it is so much worse.
 
shango

shango

Member
Sep 9, 2019
70
158
United States
Fuck you social anxiety is awful seriously fuck you you have no idea of what it does to someone. I am suffering beyond words you have no right to dismiss social anxiety like it is not a big deal you can fuck off.

You wouldn't it is so much worse than you think it is so much worse.
The last one was probably being sarcastic
 
Blackjack

Blackjack

I’ll be watching...
You need to REALLY think about this. Your 30 years old and you want to cbt because of social anxiety. There are people on here SUFFERING. You need to go to therapy and exhaust all options before making any other decisions.
Do you actually think this is helpful to say to someone who is obviously struggling? That’s not what this forum is about. If you can’t be supportive, at least be quiet.
 
Nem

Nem

Damn!
Sep 3, 2018
578
1,728
Sorry to hear about the shit you are going through. If I could help you I would but this world sucks asshole through a straw, just a piece of goddamn steaming shit on a hot day.
Peace/hugs
 
LMFAO FOCKERS

LMFAO FOCKERS

Wise
May 26, 2019
273
720
Everywhere, Nowhere
I am not going to apologize for my comment. I've had social anxiety my whole life but the more I exposed myself it eventually went away.

Try having your brain chemically lobotomized by psychiatric medications to the point where you have severe akathisia where it feels like you have acid flowing through your veins and you have to pace non-stop for 16 hours a day because it feels like you drank 10000 red bulls.

I have had racing intrusive/suicidal thoughts non-stop for 10 months straight. Every second of every single day. I don't sleep. My mind tortures me every single second to kill myself. I cant distract from these thoughts. Each thought that pops into my head feels like a knife or a gunshot sending terror throughout my brain and body. I can't watch tv, read, DO ANYTHING but pace and pace.

I am fighting for my life every single day. Some people on here need to wake the fuck up. I understand this is a pro-suicide forum but some of the reasoning for wanting to kill yourself is ridiculous.

I guess youre the poster child for social anxiety just like the one depressed person who recovered becomes the poster child for all depression sufferers??

Why are you here then oh great swamy??
 
Return2Dust

Return2Dust

Member
Sep 28, 2019
92
111
@Kornyboyo, after reading your last response, the recovery forum might be better suited to your needs. Fighting for your life everyday on a suicide forum sounds like a recovering alcoholic in a bar.
I’ve tried to kill myself so many ways I lost count. Either I fuck it up or my SI kicks in. Maybe getting a flat tire or being laughed at in public will be the straw that breaks the camel’s back. Not my debilitating physical illness, an intractable depression that hasn’t been relieved by medicine, C-PTSD as a result of childhood abuse that only got worse with therapy.
We’re in this group b/c we fucking hurt in different ways, but we hurt.
Please feel free to be supportive or jump to a forum where you can find like-minded people.
 
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sammii

sammii

I have no idea what I’m doing.
Oct 9, 2019
63
107
Scotland
Come on guys, it’s not a pain competition :wink: everyone’s suffering in their own way.

Sorry I can’t help with the drugs thing, but just so you know I have severe social anxiety too and I know how terrible and lonely it is. I’m 28 years old, I still live with my parents and I’ve barely left the house in 3 years. I don’t have anything useful to say but I feel you, and I’m always about if you need someone to talk to or rant at :hug:
 
M

Mljonzy

Veteran
Aug 21, 2018
144
527
Thanks anyone who was helpful we are all in pain in different ways and nobody has any right to dismiss your pain or say others have it worse.
 

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