[Help] Is this a cruel goodbye ?

Discussion in 'Sanctioned Suicide' started by Redt2go, Feb 11, 2019.

  1. Redt2go

    Redt2go Visionary

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2019
    Messages:
    909
    Likes Received:
    4,612
    I've decided my goodbyes will be in the form of Valentine's cards to my closest friends telling them how much they mean to me

    I'm worried they'll be angry bc they'll realize after I pass that this was my goodbye

    I'm naturally a selfish person so idk what's more selfish. I just really want them to know how much they mean to me and that I love them. They'll wish they had done more for me but I want them to know how loved I feel by them

    Should I do it?
     
    KatieW, lemmeeleev, 21Neberg and 2 others like this.
  2. Scottishchef

    Scottishchef Veteran

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2019
    Messages:
    105
    Likes Received:
    450
    Its funny one because everybody is different in how they will react to your passing think if your telling them how much they ment its a peacefull act but slso it will bring about little thought if they could have done more but to recieve a card is little heartfelt that is more than not knowing
     
    lemmeeleev, 21Neberg and 15dec like this.
  3. Redt2go

    Redt2go Visionary

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2019
    Messages:
    909
    Likes Received:
    4,612
    Hmmm you're right maybe I'll refrain then
     
    lemmeeleev likes this.
  4. JustAboutDone

    JustAboutDone Potential pet thief

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2019
    Messages:
    2,951
    Likes Received:
    24,811
    It's an interesting one as I was always one of those people who thought well why bother with notes but having read the info that @Johnnythefox kindly put up in the feedback bit I think it's a good idea and I think it would be nice to do cards for your friends x
     
  5. Faulisdead

    Faulisdead Member

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2019
    Messages:
    68
    Likes Received:
    284
    I think it would be lovely. I can definitley understand the reluctance in doing so. I’d be hesitant because I wouldn’t want to cause more pain. But to answer your question, I don’t think it’s cruel at all. IMO sending messages of love is almost never cruel.
     
  6. VoloFataliDoce

    VoloFataliDoce The World Is Quiet Here

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2019
    Messages:
    114
    Likes Received:
    739
    I think it is an excellent idea. Wish I thought if it myself!
     
    lemmeeleev, 15dec and Redt2go like this.
  7. 21Neberg

    21Neberg Illuminated

    Joined:
    Dec 17, 2018
    Messages:
    1,055
    Likes Received:
    5,839
    This isn’t a bad idea at all - it’s great to let your friends know how much they mean to you before you leave! Just be careful that you don’t arise suspicion that you’re about to CTB.

    I don’t think you’re selfish at all if you’re putting in the effort to thank them one last time :)
     
  8. Redt2go

    Redt2go Visionary

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2019
    Messages:
    909
    Likes Received:
    4,612
    Thanks guys :)
     
    lemmeeleev and 15dec like this.
  9. lululoo

    lululoo Veteran

    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2018
    Messages:
    112
    Likes Received:
    606
    I think it's nice. And this way they won't think you were mad at them or disappointed in them at the end.
     
  10. stellabelle

    stellabelle Ethereal Spam Train Conductor

    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2018
    Messages:
    3,138
    Likes Received:
    15,617
    I don’t think it’s cruel, I think it is sentimental but also might be a sore reminder every Valentine’s Day that passes in the future.
     
    Dead Meat, Dragon, Midnight and 3 others like this.
  11. Redt2go

    Redt2go Visionary

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2019
    Messages:
    909
    Likes Received:
    4,612
    Hmmm didn't think of this
     
  12. Ruffian

    Ruffian Member

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2019
    Messages:
    20
    Likes Received:
    106
    I think it Would be nice if the last thing they have from you is something where they know you care and that you let them know you know they care. It’s really important, and it’s odd you posted this because I was thinking about this like an hour ago. I lost someone I loved very much when I was young, and the grief was horrible - it was a random act of violence while we were both away in separate states. This was WAY before cell phones. Anyway, the final time we spoke it was about how much we loved each other and our future plans. If that had been I fight I’m sure I would have CTB years ago. But yeah, it could be a Valentine’s Day downer, I hadn’t thought of that. Still, it’s better than 13 angry cassette tapes.
     
    Redt2go likes this.
  13. Need-a-Place

    Need-a-Place happygolucky

    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2019
    Messages:
    11
    Likes Received:
    25
    I think it's perfect. You can say goodbye and express gratitude without arousing suspicion. These can be cards most will simply treasure. It's different, I think, realizing you got a final valentine from a loved one vs. being left a final note at their suicide scene. Some may be suspicious, but honestly I wouldn't be surprised if most were oblivious.

    I went all out at Christmas knowing it would be my last. I was worried it would look suspicious as fuck. I bought everyone multiple, expensive gifts, personalized items, half the shit said love you always. All of my friends and family know I'm broke as fuck, been unemployed for a while now. No income whatsoever, plenty of student loans, little money in the bank.

    Attempted suicide in January. Nobody made the connection

    :pfff::pfff::I
     
    KatieW and Redt2go like this.
  14. Need-a-Place

    Need-a-Place happygolucky

    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2019
    Messages:
    11
    Likes Received:
    25
    To clarify obliviousness, I mean more people will probs think, "Aww, at least they passed after Valentines day and we got these sweet cards to remember them by"

    rather than, "oh fuck, these were goodbye notes!!!"
     
  15. Ruffian

    Ruffian Member

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2019
    Messages:
    20
    Likes Received:
    106
    That is incredibly sad to me. I hope you aren’t bothered by me saying that, but man, if you just Google suicide warning signs it’s in like the top 5 or 10.
     
    Need-a-Place, KatieW and Redt2go like this.
  16. KatieW

    KatieW Looking for ctb partner. Pm or kik: iamwkatie

    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2019
    Messages:
    147
    Likes Received:
    468
    Suicide humor oh boy.. there should be a thread for that
     
    Redt2go, Ruffian and Need-a-Place like this.
  17. Need-a-Place

    Need-a-Place happygolucky

    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2019
    Messages:
    11
    Likes Received:
    25
    I mean, to be fair to them at the time, I pretended to buy everything on discount, black Friday, cyber Monday, etc. I made up shit about like "wow, I got 60% off + free shipping!"

    And I told my best friend "hey, it might look like I got you a lot, but i mean, i got you a lot of little things, so don't worry that I spent a bunch or anything. Plus I've been getting great deals, like I got you something that was 80% off."

    Also, I would flash around the same gift to everybody and say, "see how nice this is? $3.99 on ebay!!! Imma go wrap it for the tree!!"

    So, I personally think I did cover well enough for the holiday season.

    You'd think after the whole suicide thing, though, they might think ohhhhhhh.

    But nope. Nothing.
     
    Redt2go likes this.
  18. Ruffian

    Ruffian Member

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2019
    Messages:
    20
    Likes Received:
    106
    Yeah, it’s amazing what people close to you don’t even notice. I was on these heavy duty psych meds for years where the lights in my eyes just went out. The only person who noticed was my sister. When I read about you being unemployed & all that student loan debt I really feel for you. I don’t know what you studied,but it’s hard for some people to understand how you put in all that effort & borrow all that money and feel like it was for nothing. I have been deferring my loans for like 20 years. My motto: Defer, defer, die. I think like everywhere else, if you’re not happy with the results/product, you should be able to get a refund.