[Venting] is there a way to cope with borderline personality disorder or is the only option death

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bpdandme

Member
Feb 3, 2020
93
284
I suffer really badly with BPD and honestly think the only way out is suicide, it's so unmanageable and uncontrollable. I hate it so much. I am not a bad person but this disorder makes me horrible. I can't live in my head any longer being constantly at battle with myself whilst being misunderstood by those around me. I wish I had the courage to go through with suicide rather than idealising and fantasising about it.

What method would you say is the quickest (I can't access guns), I've tried SN and the process was too drawn out which made my SI so strong that I called the ambulance. My issue with hanging is I have no where in my house I can do it from and I don't live near woodland. If I threw a rope over the door everyone in my house would see and know so I'd be saved.

Why does attempting suicide have to be so hard:notsure:
 
porfin1234

porfin1234

Master
Dec 26, 2019
433
1,014
Hi bpdandme
To answer your question from the title, I don’t think death is the only option.
have you heard of or tried DBT (dialectical behavior therapy)? It’s a therapy that combines the use of mindfulness and strategies for how to deal with cognitive distortions and relate to others. It only really works if you dedicate yourself to applying it in your every day life, which I wish I had done much sooner, but it’s hard when you believe there’s no way out of the cycle. If you want to chat more you can PM- I’ve been struggling with BPD myself and sometimes it’s nice to talk to someone who can relate. BPD can be different for people too so knowing more about how it is for you could help with ideas.

Here is some basic info for DBT: https://www.psycom.net/what-is-dialectical-behavior-therapy/
 
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bpdandme

Member
Feb 3, 2020
93
284
Hi bpdandme
To answer your question from the title, I don’t think death is the only option.
have you heard of or tried DBT (dialectical behavior therapy)? It’s a therapy that combines the use of mindfulness and strategies for how to deal with cognitive distortions and relate to others. It only really works if you dedicate yourself to applying it in your every day life, which I wish I had done much sooner, but it’s hard when you believe there’s no way out of the cycle. If you want to chat more you can PM- I’ve been struggling with BPD myself and sometimes it’s nice to talk to someone who can relate. BPD can be different for people too so knowing more about how it is for you could help with ideas.

Here is some basic info for DBT: https://www.psycom.net/what-is-dialectical-behavior-therapy/
Thank you so much! I have heard of DBT but I was on a waiting list for years then after my most recent suicide attempt I went back to the doctors and he only gave me medication and didn't think I needed counselling due to "not looking depressed" and told me BPD isn't real its just a "pattern of behaviour" - it was very frustrating! I was basically told I was a cry for help who wasn't actually suffering.

I'm glad DBT has worked for you, it's definitely given me some hope :heart:
 
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noko

Tortured
Feb 14, 2020
73
198
You should ignore people that say BPD is not real or the ones that don't give a shit. I do know a few people with BPD that do live lives that are just fine, the only thing though, they have strong support networks, so you should look for that. If not a network then at least a partner.
 
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BridgeJumper1994

BridgeJumper1994

Arcanist
Apr 7, 2019
540
676
No therapy can help me because I cant accept blame,and everytime someone points out my flaws, or says Im attention seeking or selfish for wanting to kill myself (asdgjjkdj) I flip my shit and stop going to sessions
Not to mention most rehabs and treatment centers wont take me in because I also have bipolar
Without therapy Ill never get better, Im still the same selfharming addict piece of shit than 3, 4 and 6 years ago, and the only thing I learned is to try and attempt suicide in secluded places so I dont get locked up
-sigh-
 
autumnal

autumnal

Specialist
Feb 5, 2020
385
564
Hi bpdandme
To answer your question from the title, I don’t think death is the only option.
have you heard of or tried DBT (dialectical behavior therapy)? It’s a therapy that combines the use of mindfulness and strategies for how to deal with cognitive distortions and relate to others. It only really works if you dedicate yourself to applying it in your every day life, which I wish I had done much sooner, but it’s hard when you believe there’s no way out of the cycle. If you want to chat more you can PM- I’ve been struggling with BPD myself and sometimes it’s nice to talk to someone who can relate. BPD can be different for people too so knowing more about how it is for you could help with ideas.

Here is some basic info for DBT: https://www.psycom.net/what-is-dialectical-behavior-therapy/
Yes, very much seconding the benefits of DBT.

If you can't get access to a DBT treatment program, you could at the very least try following a self-help guide that harnesses those same principles.

Have a look at these:


With this one seeming particularly good from my brief look and the reviews:


EDIT: Oh also BPD is probably the single most important mental disorder when it comes to your friends and family needing to gain strategies and coping skills as much as you do. Get something like this for those people:

 
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Muirthemne

New Member
Mar 1, 2020
2
2
I knew someone once with BPD, and she seemed to be able to recover. We've lost touch, so I don't know how she's doing now, but last I saw her she was doing really well and seemed to have genuinely turned her life around. It took a tremendous amount of strength, hard work, and self-awareness on her part, so I won't pretend it's easy, but it's definitely possible.

I don't have an exact guidebook for how she did it, but I know DBT did help her a lot. No connection to her, but I've also heard something called schema therapy is supposed to be really good for BPD, so that might also be something to look into.
 
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Final Escape

Final Escape

Existing somewhere between life and death
Jul 8, 2018
3,784
11,782
I feel like my only option is to ctb, in my particular case. I’ve got borderline combined with other things I’m sure. Im about to turn 43 and I’m sure this will be my last year. My life took turn for the worst with this lockdown shit.
 
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Yomyom

Yomyom

Wise
Feb 5, 2020
220
232
Yes, very much seconding the benefits of DBT.

If you can't get access to a DBT treatment program, you could at the very least try following a self-help guide that harnesses those same principles.

Have a look at these:


With this one seeming particularly good from my brief look and the reviews:


EDIT: Oh also BPD is probably the single most important mental disorder when it comes to your friends and family needing to gain strategies and coping skills as much as you do. Get something like this for those people:

That's sounds nice books, maybe I'll try them sometimes.
you can download them free from Genesis

 
thebrinkimdriven

thebrinkimdriven

Veteran
Feb 11, 2020
104
263
I'm sorry to hear you're struggling with the unwanted symptoms of BPD - it's exhausting to say the least and I've found myself asking similar questions in the past. I don't think that death is the only option at all - recent studies now show that after 10 years many people who met the DSM criteria for the personality disorder no longer do. I hope you try treatment (self or medical) and your circumstances allow you to give living a go.
 
VolatilePotato

VolatilePotato

Trash. BPD. 28 with no future
Feb 22, 2020
28
65
Hey, I feel you. Truly I do. Every bit of this hits me because I suffer from BPD as well and it is just as you described. Reach out if you want, my pm is open
 
B

bpdandme

Member
Feb 3, 2020
93
284
No therapy can help me because I cant accept blame,and everytime someone points out my flaws, or says Im attention seeking or selfish for wanting to kill myself (asdgjjkdj) I flip my shit and stop going to sessions
Not to mention most rehabs and treatment centers wont take me in because I also have bipolar
Without therapy Ill never get better, Im still the same selfharming addict piece of shit than 3, 4 and 6 years ago, and the only thing I learned is to try and attempt suicide in secluded places so I dont get locked up
-sigh-
Hey! You are not your disorder - there are positive traits to BPD. Here if you wanna chat with someone who understands, hope you're okay. Sending light!
Yes, very much seconding the benefits of DBT.

If you can't get access to a DBT treatment program, you could at the very least try following a self-help guide that harnesses those same principles.

Have a look at these:


With this one seeming particularly good from my brief look and the reviews:


EDIT: Oh also BPD is probably the single most important mental disorder when it comes to your friends and family needing to gain strategies and coping skills as much as you do. Get something like this for those people:

Thank you so much I have put this in my Amazon basket for when I have some money :happy:, thanks for finding these!
I knew someone once with BPD, and she seemed to be able to recover. We've lost touch, so I don't know how she's doing now, but last I saw her she was doing really well and seemed to have genuinely turned her life around. It took a tremendous amount of strength, hard work, and self-awareness on her part, so I won't pretend it's easy, but it's definitely possible.

I don't have an exact guidebook for how she did it, but I know DBT did help her a lot. No connection to her, but I've also heard something called schema therapy is supposed to be really good for BPD, so that might also be something to look into.
This is good to know, thank you! I can't imagine how much strength she had to overcome this consuming disorder, I hope I can follow. Hope she's still doing good. I've never heard of schema therapy I'll look it up - thanks again!
I feel like my only option is to ctb, in my particular case. I’ve got borderline combined with other things I’m sure. Im about to turn 43 and I’m sure this will be my last year. My life took turn for the worst with this lockdown shit.
I'm sorry to hear this :notsure: , please feel free to message if you want to chat. Sending light!
 
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