[Discussion] Is anyone truly ready? Or is the act scary.

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HorribleFeelings1

HorribleFeelings1

Its a hard knock life
Jan 18, 2020
313
859
From my time being on here, a vast majority of people here has some feeling deep down inside of them. From someone who has been dreaming about suicide, I’m afraid what’s going to happen when I finally do it.

now don’t get me started with the “you aren’t ready” talks. Boy did I get tired of hearing those words that I made sure I was ready so I don’t have to hear those words anymore. And this isn’t just about me, people here have been dreaming about suicide and feel more than ready but at the last moment they fail. SI kicks in. I feel more than ready but just doing the act of suicide scares me. I just wish I died without me knowing. I just want to CTB without SI kicking in so it makes me wonder.

Are you truly ready to CTB? How do you know last minute you won’t back out or SI won’t kick in. Will you be able to withstand SI?

That’s all (‘: :heart:
 
Hollow Point

Hollow Point

A̵l̷w̷a̷y̸s̷ ̷t̸i̸r̵e̸d̶
Mar 24, 2020
117
428
I think when you know, you know. It's a big mental hurdle that you have to forcibly jump over to succeed. If your survival instincts kick in, well, listen to them. You really gotta be ready. In a mindset where the "what ifs" are drowned out by the desire to end it.
 
HorribleFeelings1

HorribleFeelings1

Its a hard knock life
Jan 18, 2020
313
859
I think when you know, you know. It's a big mental hurdle that you have to forcibly jump over to succeed. If your survival instincts kick in, well, listen to them. You really gotta be ready. In a mindset where the "what ifs" are drowned out by the desire to end it.
But I don’t understand, i have a friend who’s friend has been depressed here for a long time, they wanted to CTB for a long time and has even tried SN. They planned out their whole way to CTB and even rented a hotel room, but last minute he drank it and called the police but he died. People can be severely depressed and dream about suicide till last minute
 
Hollow Point

Hollow Point

A̵l̷w̷a̷y̸s̷ ̷t̸i̸r̵e̸d̶
Mar 24, 2020
117
428
But I don’t understand, i have a friend who’s friend has been depressed here for a long time, they wanted to CTB for a long time and has even tried SN. They planned out their whole way to CTB and even rented a hotel room, but last minute he drank it and called the police but he died. People can be severely depressed and dream about suicide till last minute
Well, you can be severely depressed but still not truly be ready to die. It's not always a predictable pattern to suicide. Like, sad, depressed, severely depressed, suicidal. You could be driven to suicide before you would ever even be diagnosed with clinical depression.

I've thought I was ready before. I'm still here though. And if I'm being honest with myself, I have to say they were half hearted attempts. I dont think suicide is something I can fail at, and then turn around and say I truly gave it my best shot.
 
TStorm

TStorm

Fading Light
Mar 18, 2020
33
100
I don't think it's time for me to go yet, but in the past when I've attempted it, I never really felt all that scared. I felt ready to go. I still failed anyway but not from lack of trying. I suppose when it's really time for me to go, things will actually go to plan. At least I hope.
 
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yetme

yetme

Wise
Oct 20, 2019
205
280
I'm ready mentally, as I understand that I'm out of options for a cure and there is nothing on this planet that could help me. That I understand.
I'm not ready emotionally though and I still have memories of my life when it sill was normal and those little things still left like a good cup of coffe or a good 8hour sleep. So right now I'm waiting for my SN to be delivered. I still have some fight in me. When the pain becomes completely unbearable I'll off myself. fuck this Universe. We all get fucked in the end. At least I have a choice on when and how.
 
a.n.kirillov

a.n.kirillov

Why is there something rather than cheesecake?
Nov 17, 2019
1,666
2,686
Well, you can be severely depressed but still not truly be ready to die. It's not always a predictable pattern to suicide. Like, sad, depressed, severely depressed, suicidal. You could be driven to suicide before you would ever even be diagnosed with clinical depression.

I've thought I was ready before. I'm still here though. And if I'm being honest with myself, I have to say they were half hearted attempts. I dont think suicide is something I can fail at, and then turn around and say I truly gave it my best shot.
You can also be ready one moment, and not be ready the next. Instincts aren't rational, so you have to override a very strong, basic instinct with the reasoning part of your brain.

If you are worried about this and absolutely don't want to fail either way, you might tie your hands with full suspension like David Foster W. did, or drink SN in the middle of nowhere without a cellphone.

There are ways to outsmart your SI, the question is, are you comfortable setting yourself up like that and/ or would this maneuver not simply lower the threshold for your SI kicking in? thus making the drinking part more difficult, since you know there's no going back?

Either way OP, if you're not 9/11 jumping from the window level desperate, you will have to trick your reptile brain somehow.
 
Hollow Point

Hollow Point

A̵l̷w̷a̷y̸s̷ ̷t̸i̸r̵e̸d̶
Mar 24, 2020
117
428
You can also be ready one moment, and not be ready the next. Instincts aren't rational, so you have to override a very strong, basic instinct with the reasoning part of your brain.

If you are worried about this and absolutely don't want to fail either way, you might tie your hands with full suspension like David Foster W. did, or drink SN in the middle of nowhere without a cellphone.

There are ways to outsmart your SI, the question is, are you comfortable setting yourself up like that and/ or would this maneuver not simply lower the threshold for your SI kicking in? thus making the drinking part more difficult, since you know there's no going back?

Either way OP, if you're not 9/11 jumping from the window level desperate, you will have to trick your reptile brain somehow.
Yea it's not like you can circumvent your survival instinct by rigging something up that has a point of no return. It will kick in when you're setting it up, or before you take the final step. People underestimate how strong it is. You'll see ways to handle situations during it that you couldnt accept before. Only in those moments can somebody really know if they are ready.
 
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HorribleFeelings1

HorribleFeelings1

Its a hard knock life
Jan 18, 2020
313
859
You can also be ready one moment, and not be ready the next. Instincts aren't rational, so you have to override a very strong, basic instinct with the reasoning part of your brain.

If you are worried about this and absolutely don't want to fail either way, you might tie your hands with full suspension like David Foster W. did, or drink SN in the middle of nowhere without a cellphone.

There are ways to outsmart your SI, the question is, are you comfortable setting yourself up like that and/ or would this maneuver not simply lower the threshold for your SI kicking in? thus making the drinking part more difficult, since you know there's no going back?

Either way OP, if you're not 9/11 jumping from the window level desperate, you will have to trick your reptile brain somehow.
This is good! Thank you :happy:
Yea it's not like you can circumvent your survival instinct by rigging something up that has a point of no return. It will kick in when you're setting it up, or before you take the final step. People underestimate how strong it is. You'll see ways to handle situations during it that you couldnt accept before. Only in those moments can somebody really know if they are ready.
I agree, that’s how I always saw it but wanted to see everyone’s else opinion
 
Buffy5120

Buffy5120

Death is vital Female NY
Mar 19, 2020
119
174
From my time being on here, a vast majority of people here has some feeling deep down inside of them. From someone who has been dreaming about suicide, I’m afraid what’s going to happen when I finally do it.

now don’t get me started with the “you aren’t ready” talks. Boy did I get tired of hearing those words that I made sure I was ready so I don’t have to hear those words anymore. And this isn’t just about me, people here have been dreaming about suicide and feel more than ready but at the last moment they fail. SI kicks in. I feel more than ready but just doing the act of suicide scares me. I just wish I died without me knowing. I just want to CTB without SI kicking in so it makes me wonder.

Are you truly ready to CTB? How do you know last minute you won’t back out or SI won’t kick in. Will you be able to withstand SI?

That’s all (‘: :heart:
I dream about ctb alot. Twice I had dreams where I finally had the opportunity and pulled it twice but didn’t ctb. I was sooo disappointed. I would literally pay so much money to go. I suffer everyday from both physical and mental issues. And im alive to say the mental tops it all. When you don’t have your mind right, you don’t have anything right. Its the most important organ of the body the brain.
 
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