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R

reareq

Member
Joined
Jul 27, 2020
Messages
12
Hello! I'd prefer not disclosing too much information about myself, nevertheless I still wanted so say hi to you all. I'm in my 20s living in Europe. I'm interested in a lot of things. I have chronic depression, social anxiety and I'm on the spectrum, all of that sucks the life out of me, sometimes too much. I hope everyone of you can find some happy moments in life :)
 
glitchgirl

glitchgirl

Member
Joined
May 29, 2020
Messages
18
Hello I'm Aimee. I'm a 21 year old who hasn't had much success in life. I was molested as a young child and I then developed conduct disorder behaviours. Ended up in a childrens home since my mum couldn't control my anger outbursts. been kicked out of numerous schools and placements. and I have many other mental issues such as BPD PTSD. I am mainly upset recently because I got kicked out of my house for threatening to kill my family, I was on the streets for a few nights and then OD. out of the hospital I was put in a hostel, which lead to my college placement being cancelled. I want to CTB because there is no cure for antisocial personality disorder, which has caused my life to be a living hell, i'd rather die knowing that my cat loves me than hurting him or a person. Because I lack this certain emotion humans need, my life is meaningless. I cannot be a mother because of my intrusive thoughts of smothering them might kick in. I can't live a normal life, thanks to that freaking pedophile.
 
Linda

Linda

Veteran
Joined
Jul 30, 2020
Messages
149
Courtesy to other users of this site requires that I introduce myself, though after reading posts here for the last few hours, and replying to a few of them, I am conscious that I do not fit in well. I am neither depressed nor suicidal. I have been fairly successful in life and have no serious problems. But I am 67, I know that I am in declining health, and I do not wish to finish up in a situation where I have no control over my life. I have done most of what I want to do, and if my husband dies I will have little reason to remain. I have always considered life to be not all that special, and I have always been completely indifferent to the idea of dying. When I was 15 I decided that if I ever needed to end my life I would do so by taking a walk in a cold place in winter (hypothermia) and I have not changed my mind. I have spent much of my spare time in the outdoors, have greatly enjoyed it, and would be perfectly willing to die there. "I am just going outside and may be some time" are not bad as last words, and none the worse for having been used before. My intentions are not a secret. My husband knows.

A few hours ago a google search on something brought this site to my attention. I read some of the posts about hypothermia as a suicide method, wished to respond to provide some factual information, and signed up so I could do so. I have since read as much as I can here over the last 6 hours or so.

I was quite shocked at the amount of pain in so many of the posts here. I have lived in a different world. I knew that I had been fortunate in life. I didn't realize just how fortunate.

I am much older than most of the people who post here, and that does give me a different perspective on life. Of course I can also see things from the perspective of a young person, since I have been there. If anyone would like my perspective on anything, just ask. I am not an expert on any subject related to this site, and I know that I am not always right. But I am not stupid either, and I may be able to help. And I promise I won't lie to anyone. I don't do "bullshit", and I will give you a straight answer.
 
rundschlinge78

rundschlinge78

Member
Joined
Jul 30, 2020
Messages
45
Hi, so by way of introduction:

I have always wanted to die by my own hand.
Sometimes sooner than later.
We all die sometime - I don‘t need to wait around.
I have no problem about being dead. It will be nothing: nothing to regret, nothing to miss, no pain.

At the moment, I have a good life, a good job, no real money issues. Yes, I take meds for depression, but am not suicidal out of frustration or unhappiness. I just wish the decision to die would be as acceptable as choosing to eat out at a restaurant.
I have no intention of suffering long from any illness, injury or old age.

I take great comfort from the concept of being in control of my own dying.
I am also fascinated by what it will feel like to die.
I don‘t know yet when I will do it.
Until I do, I am grateful for sharing here...
 
Mila

Mila

Member
Joined
Jul 18, 2020
Messages
31
Hi and thanks for the welcoming. Hard for me to talk about myself... All I can say is I have nothing, I have no one (except for my pets), no job due to covid, no one to talk to, soon homeless; I am tired of struggling every minute of my life for the last 15 years, and all I want is to CTB. I have been reading posts, options, comments since I joined, and I just want to find the fastest way to do it. That's all I want...
 
Belit667

Belit667

-
Joined
Aug 2, 2020
Messages
252
Hello everyone, looks kind of scary that the guy who registered just half an hour ago , with 5 posts is already banned.
I expected a nicer atmosphere. Never mind. I'm here to talk about aspects of suicie, I'm planning mine next year.
 
Linda

Linda

Veteran
Joined
Jul 30, 2020
Messages
149
Hello everyone, looks kind of scary that the guy who registered just half an hour ago , with 5 posts is already banned.
I expected a nicer atmosphere. Never mind. I'm here to talk about aspects of suicie, I'm planning mine next year.
Hi Belit667, and welcome. The atmosphere here IS nice. The guy you refer to is not typical. As soon as I saw his post it set off alarm bells in my head: it just didn't "feel" right.
 
LetzteAusfahrt

LetzteAusfahrt

Swiss gay, exist until September 2020, PM me
Joined
Jun 27, 2020
Messages
540
Hello everyone, looks kind of scary that the guy who registered just half an hour ago , with 5 posts is already banned.
I expected a nicer atmosphere. Never mind. I'm here to talk about aspects of suicie, I'm planning mine next year.
Hello Belit667
don't worry, the guy was the absolute exception that validates the rule.

You can expect a very pleasant atmosphere with friendly and understanding users.
Welcome to the Forum
 
RunsOnLentils

RunsOnLentils

New Member
Joined
Aug 5, 2020
Messages
3
Hi there! My name's RunsOnLentils, I'm 22 and don't really want to disclose where I live. I haven't been diagnosed, but I think I suffer from depression and some sort of anxiety disorder. I've been suicidal for about a year now. The things I like doing, when not feeling anxious, are fantasizing about shit that will probably never happen. I enjoy learning about philosophy, specifically ethics. I'd love to discuss different ideas with every single one of you and also support everyone to hopefully make you feel a bit better.

P.S.
I know I didn't write much, but this this little message took me about 3 hours, haha, thanks, anxiety.
 
LetzteAusfahrt

LetzteAusfahrt

Swiss gay, exist until September 2020, PM me
Joined
Jun 27, 2020
Messages
540
Hi there! My name's RunsOnLentils, I'm 22 and don't really want to disclose where I live. I haven't been diagnosed, but I think I suffer from depression and some sort of anxiety disorder. I've been suicidal for about a year now. The things I like doing, when not feeling anxious, are fantasizing about shit that will probably never happen. I enjoy learning about philosophy, specifically ethics. I'd love to discuss different ideas with every single one of you and also support everyone to hopefully make you feel a bit better.

P.S.
I know I didn't write much, but this this little message took me about 3 hours, haha, thanks, anxiety.
Hi
Then I thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking this time for us. You will surely be able to have interesting conversations here and quickly realize that the fear here will soon no longer have any influence on you.

You can always write to me via PM if you want to know something
 
Mila

Mila

Member
Joined
Jul 18, 2020
Messages
31
Hi there! My name's RunsOnLentils, I'm 22 and don't really want to disclose where I live. I haven't been diagnosed, but I think I suffer from depression and some sort of anxiety disorder. I've been suicidal for about a year now. The things I like doing, when not feeling anxious, are fantasizing about shit that will probably never happen. I enjoy learning about philosophy, specifically ethics. I'd love to discuss different ideas with every single one of you and also support everyone to hopefully make you feel a bit better.

P.S.
I know I didn't write much, but this this little message took me about 3 hours, haha, thanks, anxiety.
Welcome to the forum!
 
VelvetHippo

VelvetHippo

New Member
Joined
Aug 3, 2020
Messages
2
Hello!

I am VelvetHippo, a 22 y/o New Zealander. I've spent as long as I can remember rather quite unhappy, and the last 8 months being diagnosed with things once people started figuring it out. I am considering making my exit sometime soon, and am glad to finally find a community of people understanding rather than accusatory around the topic <3
 
W

Wisdom3_1-9

he/him/his
Joined
Jul 19, 2020
Messages
889
Hi there! My name's RunsOnLentils, I'm 22 and don't really want to disclose where I live. I haven't been diagnosed, but I think I suffer from depression and some sort of anxiety disorder. I've been suicidal for about a year now. The things I like doing, when not feeling anxious, are fantasizing about shit that will probably never happen. I enjoy learning about philosophy, specifically ethics. I'd love to discuss different ideas with every single one of you and also support everyone to hopefully make you feel a bit better.

P.S.
I know I didn't write much, but this this little message took me about 3 hours, haha, thanks, anxiety.
This was a wonderful message! I feel for you and your comments on anxiety resonate strongly with me. (I definitely chuckled at the “fantasizing about shit that will never happen” line.) with regards to diagnosis, it might be good to seek an actual diagnosis just for the purpose of potentially obtaining meds that might help with your anxiety. I know going down the prescription path could open a whole new can of worms since finding the right meds are often trial-and-rrror, and once you’re on it’s almost impossible to come off, BUT a lot of people do find dealing with their anxiety to be easier once they’re on a good routine. Just be sure not to mention your suicidality during the diagnosis!
 
nothing but agony

nothing but agony

Excess Waste
Joined
Aug 8, 2020
Messages
9
Hello everyone
I have suffered from depression for 7 years. One of the symptoms is cognitive impairment. I can't think clearly and fast enough. I find it tough to talk due to this, too slow I am. So expect slow replies from me. I am slow at everything
I have been seeking treatment however which has improved my situation to some extent
But it still isn't enough, I am in constant misery. Treatment is costly
I barely enjoy anything, I have no interest in anything.
Only thing I look forward to everyday is the exit.
 
P

pennylanefinaltake

Member
Joined
Aug 7, 2020
Messages
18
Just wanted to drop a note to say hello, I'm new here. I have anxiety so it's hard for me to talk too much about myself but in time I will try to slowly come out of my shell. Just wanted to meet like-minded people and talk freely without judgement - this is so hard to find without people constantly offering hotlines.
 
TheSoundofTime

TheSoundofTime

In time you will find peace...
Joined
Aug 9, 2020
Messages
66
Hi all,
I just joined so I thought it would be nice to say “hi” to you all!
I’m 27y.o male. My journey with suicide started over 10 years ago from thinking about it, wishing to die to actively researching and planning the whole thing. I take my time because it works for me as coping mechanism from stress, anxiety and painful memories of all the shit I have done.
So far I have two methods (carefully picked) but have not decided yet on which to go for:
1.Full suspension in rented motel
2.Gunshot to the temple in my car in an empty parking lot.
The next and the last question is just “when”, that’s all.
If you have any ideas/advice - it would be more than welcomed to receive.
I wish you all to find your peace
 
hello570

hello570

Fish guy
Joined
Aug 7, 2020
Messages
10
hello everyone. I am from the us in my early 20s. and have always had suicidal thoughts. Started taking them seriously a few years ago and tried nitrogen but didn't work and was discouraged. Going to try again soon with SN. Can't see any other way of going out. Sick of people on reddit saying it's selfish or some shit like that. They think they have the moral high ground because they're "trying to save a life.
If years of therapy and trying tons of antidepressants/antipsychotics/ and mood stabilizers didn't help me I doubt a stranger on the internet saying they care about me will help. I hope I meet some likeminded people on here
 
Illias

Illias

Meh
Joined
Jul 15, 2020
Messages
792
hello everyone. I am from the us in my early 20s. and have always had suicidal thoughts. Started taking them seriously a few years ago and tried nitrogen but didn't work and was discouraged. Going to try again soon with SN. Can't see any other way of going out. Sick of people on reddit saying it's selfish or some shit like that. They think they have the moral high ground because they're "trying to save a life.
If years of therapy and trying tons of antidepressants/antipsychotics/ and mood stabilizers didn't help me I doubt a stranger on the internet saying they care about me will help. I hope I meet some likeminded people on here
Hey, I also came from reddit, cause even on dedicated subreddits I wasn’t able to talk openly about suicide :nomouth: *high five*
 
Saint-mal

Saint-mal

Member
Joined
Aug 7, 2020
Messages
22
Hey I'm Mal, 23, Nonbinary and suicidal since birth it seems. I've always know I was going to die by my own hand. Covid pushed the date, my friend remains hopeful that my apartment will work with me and I'm doubtful. Two months behind in rent due to shitty spending habits and two hospitalization one for July and another in June. I'm going through the motions as not to completely tip everyone off about my actual plans. So applying for cares, looking at rehab blah blah. Current method is hanging (not full) and already set up and ready to go.

I was going to rush it but as long as I do it before I'm evicted I should be fine to fuck around on here and talk to like minded individuals
 
E

Escapist

Member
Joined
Aug 10, 2020
Messages
16
Hello, I'm Escapist.

Age 37
Europe
Male

My outwardly life is okay, but I do have suicidal thoughts and I am looking for a place to talk about that in a non-judgmental environment. I read the forums for a while before joining and this looked like a promising place for sharing some thoughts with like-minded, pro-choice people.

My suicidal feelings are related to spirituality, lack of sense of meaning, one too many disillusionments with human existence and stuff like that. I'm in a place where postponing and thinking it over for a few more times is still possible, I have no urgent reason to rush the decision one way or the other. I don't know how this is going to end, I believe that the choice will take care of itself somewhere down the line. I want to keep both options open for as long as possible.

I'm pro-recovery if a meaningful recovery is possible. I'm pro-choice because a meaningful recovery is not always possible, unfortunately. I don't like pro-lifers, I think they are more harm than help, because of their self-righteous narrow-mindedness. The person who has to live with the pain, should get to decide how to deal with it. It's just so cheap to tell someone else to keep on living, while not having to suffer their pain.

(English is not my first language, please excuse me my occasional grammatic errors!)
 
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