Welcome to Sanctioned Suicide, a pro-choice forum for the discussion of mental illness, suicide, and the moral implications of the act itself. This is not a pro-suicide site. We do not encourage or aid suicide, and the information offered is for educational purposes only. Read our rules and FAQ for more information. We also offer a recovery subforum if you wish to get support.
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Hi, I'm so sorry to hear all those heartbreaking things happened to you! Big hugs! I know it doesn't take away your pains, and that's one hell of a horrible situation to be in right now. Sorry to hear also about your mum. That's tragic, and your brother. I can't find the right words to say. Dumbfounded with shock for all that you've been through. **hugs**30/M/USA
I had everything I ever dreamed of, after a semi turbulent life up until 4 years ago when I met my wife, and now I’ve lost everything...
I fell in love with the most beautiful, amazing, funny woman I’ve ever met. We clicked so instantly and were best friends. We were into a lot of the same things and the things were weren’t both into initially , the other would find they liked it too most times.
We had two beautiful children together and she helped raise my two other children from my previous train wreck of a marriage.
I started a business(her dream business), we had a nice house, the dog she wanted since she was little, I told her she was the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen(and I mean it) everyday.
I asked her in the very beginning to JUST be faithful to me and she could be or whatever else she wanted. Every person I’ve ever been with for any length of time has cheated. EVERY. ONE.
It damaged me. I would literally cry and beg her to just be faithful to me. She would always hold me and kiss me and swear she would never hurt me like that.
Of course, 4 months ago she cheated on me while I was at home with our babies...
A month ago our house burned down because of something stupid and the police are saying it was intentional because the fire started in two places(in the same room), which is NOT true.
So, I lost everything I’ve built in an instant, twice, and they want to charge me with arson.
As God as my witness, it was not intentional, nor was the fire in two places.
So, me, with no criminal record, a pillar in my community because of my business(caring for the elderly), a loving husband and father, has now lost everything I care about aside from my children and I’m being threatened with 3-20 years in prison for something I didn’t do....
This is on top of a life of being poor with no dad, abusive boyfriends of my mother, my brother who was my best friend drowning at 19 yrs old, and my mother dying unexpectedly 2 years later of a heart attack at 57. I’m sure there is more but I can’t think properly anymore.
To make matters very slightly worse(lol) I came here to learn ways out, and suddenly I feel less able to do it when I was moments away prior to coming and reading stories here a few nights ago.
God feels like a big kid with a magnifying glass frying us ants.
Through all of this I have started drinking everyday. I can’t sleep more than 2-4 hours a night... I’m standing at the bus stop but I cant get on.
hi you're not alone, the lockdown has pissed all over my life too. I'm in the Uk as well. If you need to chat, my conversation /DM's open. Feeling shit and having nobody to talk to is impossible to cope with. Even if I'm not on here every day I'll reply when I'm back on. **hugs**Hi, I am Alex, 28M Southwest UK.
I was actually improving over the last year but lockdown has destroyed all that work and now I am lower than ever. I don't have anyone to talk to about this as anyone I know has their own shit going on and I don't want to trouble them. Current news around the world is convincing me things are only going to get worse and I can't take it. I have made one attempt in the past which was very spur of the moment and not thought out. I was getting things together for another attempt about 2 years ago but was caught.
I'm CavalierClay, and I need a minimum amount of posts to access some forum features, I think. Hopefully this counts!
I've been lurking around reading threads here and there for about 8 months now, and finally decided to create an account and join in the discussion.
You're too sexy for this bus!I see how honest everyone is here so I thought I would introduce myself as well. I'm 55 and I have not lived a day of my life where I haven't thought about killing myself. When I was 15 I tried hanging... I passed out right away, however the belt broke and I got a gash on the side of my head. In my 20's I decided I would not kill myself until my mother died, as she had MS and I felt really guilty doing that to her (my father and sister had already died and it was only me). She passed 2 years ago, about a month before a cat followed me on a walk and hopped into my car. I tried to find the owner with no luck , so now I decided to wait until she lives out her natural life (she is 8). I avoided getting pets my entire life because I knew it would make it harder for me ... but here I am. I have Nitrogen tanks, SN, rope, and ready to go when the time comes. Until then I am basically a recluse and try and avoid any drama.
Thanks for reading!
Welcome, I'm new here too. I hope you find the resources and comfort you require.Thank you for accepting me into the group. I've spent a long time following and decided to join, then the site went down. I'm very glad it's back up.
I'm 28, female, married, and a mother. I have two children that have passed and two here on Earth. I often feel they will be better off without me. But I continue, for now.
Life hasn't been the kindest. But that seems to be a common trend here.
I've attempted suicide multiple times and have failed each time. First at 9 trying to hang in my attic. The last being in 2017. I went to use a firearm in the spur of the moment. My husband physically tackled me and fought the gun out of my hand. The exit bag appealed to me, but after my gun "incident" my supplies were found. I was put inpatient. SN is the new appeal. I have been prepping for awhile, I won't fail again. But I have to be smart about it, and I don't want to traumatize my children.
Unfortunately, my father in law just completed suicide and now I feel like I have to wait. I'm jealous. He slit his wrists and we didn't find him for about two weeks due to the virus. I cleaned that up with my coworkers who were kind enough to help me in a different county than where we work.
I've been obsessed with the thought of death and dying since I was very young so I made a career out of it. Ironically. Why not? Because of this, my affairs have been in order since I was 18 and I just keep updating them. I keep staying for others around me. I'm just tired. I'm probably just rambling at this point. But hi.
40s really suck, don't they? Your body starts changing, and suddenly you realize you're not young anymore, and never will be again, and it's all downhill from here, and you have nothing but regrets and would give anything to turn back the hands of time and do everything differently.Thank you for accepting me to the group. I am 44 years old male, trapped in unsolvable life problems and depression. I have made this account here to spend my last weeks with like-minded people who don't judge me. I will be gone within 1-3 months or sooner and I have chosen full suspension as my method. Technically I am prepared but need to talk and feel some support.
Absolutely true. It's downhill ride now. But I am happy the decision is made. I hope for your support.40s really suck, don't they? Your body starts changing, and suddenly you realize you're not young anymore, and never will be again, and it's all downhill from here, and you have nothing but regrets and would give anything to turn back the hands of time and do everything differently.
Dammit, now I'm depressed again. Welcome to the forum.
Sometimes people find interest in hearing about the things about us we thought were uninteresting.i didn't want to start my introduction with a simple hello but my brain cant think of anything more original. i dont believe there is anything worth knowing about me, but i don't want to linger like a ghost on this site having not said anything. i am 19, female, from england, considering all options i have at this point. it is likely i will too ctb in the near future though no clear plans have been decided as of yet. i hope you're all well, and i would like to make some friends possibly before i find my peace. you are all beautiful souls </3