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Good4Nothing

Good4Nothing

Unlovable
Joined
May 8, 2020
Messages
478
Hello, everyone.
48yo male from USA, here.
I used to be an artist and musician, now I only excell at fucking up my life and hurting people I care about.
Definitely manic depressive, most likely also Borderline Personality.
Life hates me, the world hates me, people who love me hate me, if there's a god he hates me, and I hate me.
I'm good for nothing.
 
Myforevercharlie

Myforevercharlie

Enlightened
Joined
Feb 13, 2020
Messages
885
Hello, everyone.
48yo male from USA, here.
I used to be an artist and musician, now I only excell at fucking up my life and hurting people I care about.
Definitely manic depressive, most likely also Borderline Personality.
Life hates me, the world hates me, people who love me hate me, if there's a god he hates me, and I hate me.
I'm good for nothing.
But we welcome you :hug:
 
Deus

Deus

Daydreamer
Joined
Sep 18, 2019
Messages
3
Hey guys, Not really sure how to start. How do you introduce yourself on a site like this?

Well anyway, most of my time I spend infront of my compute, since this is where I got all my friends. Unfortunately, I don't have a lot of real life friends but this is mostly my fault due to my mean personality.
I really like musicals, raccoons and superheros but my biggest passion is daydreaming. I do it all day and it really helps me coping the world.

Why did I join this Forum? In my opinion, venting doesn't belong into an introduction but I am looking forward to explain my reasons somewhere else.

Thanks for having me
 
Myforevercharlie

Myforevercharlie

Enlightened
Joined
Feb 13, 2020
Messages
885
Hey guys, Not really sure how to start. How do you introduce yourself on a site like this?

Well anyway, most of my time I spend infront of my compute, since this is where I got all my friends. Unfortunately, I don't have a lot of real life friends but this is mostly my fault due to my mean personality.
I really like musicals, raccoons and superheros but my biggest passion is daydreaming. I do it all day and it really helps me coping the world.

Why did I join this Forum? In my opinion, venting doesn't belong into an introduction but I am looking forward to explain my reasons somewhere else.

Thanks for having me
Welcome! :hug:
 
Reiraku

Reiraku

Member
Joined
May 5, 2020
Messages
42
Hey guys, Not really sure how to start. How do you introduce yourself on a site like this?

Well anyway, most of my time I spend infront of my compute, since this is where I got all my friends. Unfortunately, I don't have a lot of real life friends but this is mostly my fault due to my mean personality.
I really like musicals, raccoons and superheros but my biggest passion is daydreaming. I do it all day and it really helps me coping the world.

Why did I join this Forum? In my opinion, venting doesn't belong into an introduction but I am looking forward to explain my reasons somewhere else.

Thanks for having me
Welcome, Deus.
I daydream quite a lot too, it's like travelling to an alternate dimension where everything isn't shit.
Enjoy your stay.
 
MeriDeath

MeriDeath

Veteran
Joined
May 10, 2020
Messages
186
Hi. I guess I'm here because I'm here. I'm 25.
I was diagnosed with depression, anxieties, identity disorder, and more.
I wish I had never been born but I guess it had to happened.
I don't really like anything in particular, I don't have a job nor do I go to university
I don't have friends and basically everyday here is just a waste of time. I don't want it.
But if there's anything I've come to realize about me over the course of life is that I enjoy music, enjoy crying and being alone with myself. That's about it.
I'm Israeli if anyone's interested in knowing.
 
Nuclear Gandhi

Nuclear Gandhi

Member
Joined
May 11, 2020
Messages
54
Hello to everyone! Very glad to find a community of such open minded and supportive people.
I am 22 female, from Eastern Europe, studying biology. Wanted to become a neuroscientist and change the way scientific system operates but mental illness completely handicapped me. Have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety disorders in the past, struggling till today. Had a suicide attempt three years ago, which I remember in details that still haunt me. Slowly got better, but life is a bitch and I am at my lowest again. It's really frustrating to experience the same symptoms and moreso, be conscious of them, and still not be able to do anything. My mind is trapped in cycle of self-pity and guilt, desperately trying to dissociate from my physical body by any means. My mood goes from one absolute to another: one minute I am numb, other I go through hysterical panic. I am so used to escaping reality that I lost any sense of identity or direction in life.
Every morning I ask myself if this existing is worth all the suffering. Every morning the answer is "no". But seeing what pain caused my attempt to people that I love, I understand that my death is not worth their suffering. So I am stuck in this limbo at the moment. I don't know for how much longer thought.
Anyway, it's already too much blabbering. I am glad to join this safe place and wish you all to find peace.
 
K-O

K-O

FU(KOFFEE
Joined
Apr 16, 2020
Messages
1,078
Hello to everyone! Very glad to find a community of such open minded and supportive people.
I am 22 female, from Eastern Europe, studying biology. Wanted to become a neuroscientist and change the way scientific system operates but mental illness completely handicapped me. Have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety disorders in the past, struggling till today. Had a suicide attempt three years ago, which I remember in details that still haunt me. Slowly got better, but life is a bitch and I am at my lowest again. It's really frustrating to experience the same symptoms and moreso, be conscious of them, and still not be able to do anything. My mind is trapped in cycle of self-pity and guilt, desperately trying to dissociate from my physical body by any means. My mood goes from one absolute to another: one minute I am numb, other I go through hysterical panic. I am so used to escaping reality that I lost any sense of identity or direction in life.
Every morning I ask myself if this existing is worth all the suffering. Every morning the answer is "no". But seeing what pain caused my attempt to people that I love, I understand that my death is not worth their suffering. So I am stuck in this limbo at the moment. I don't know for how much longer thought.
Anyway, it's already too much blabbering. I am glad to join this safe place and wish you all to find peace.
hiya NG first welcome. second lovin your name and avatar. third keep posting your sketches. forth limbo is life innit.. fifth element :heart:
 
Nuclear Gandhi

Nuclear Gandhi

Member
Joined
May 11, 2020
Messages
54
hiya NG first welcome. second lovin your name and avatar. third keep posting your sketches. forth limbo is life innit.. fifth element :heart:
Hey! Thank you for warm welcome, I was nervous joining :) You have a very cool art style as well
 
Ikumi

Ikumi

New Member
Joined
May 11, 2020
Messages
2
Hello.
I'm from France.
I was a gifted kid and I was bullied but it wasn't that bad. I always thought I'd have a bright future like everyone in my family. Well sure I entered a prestigious university and everything but I guess that's my last achievement. To be fair things went downhill before I even entered it but I pretended I didn't know.
Severe depression, anxiety, anorexia nervosa and other eating disorders, god damn borderline personality disorder, and stuff, well I dropped out. Tried to get my shit together and to enroll somewhere else. Dropped out again. Still feel like everyone hates me over that. But well it's not even that important. I'm very tired of this. I ended up ditching all my therapists and now I self medicate from time to time but lol.

Anyway I like anime, dramas (mostly Thai and Korean), kpop and obsessing over things.
I really love the idea of this website, I've been browsing for a few days and I really love the "lack of censorship" I mean I know you cannot encourage someone to ctb or something but like we can express our will to do it and respect the decision of people who do. Also the information is very helpful.

Anyway nice to meet you all !
 
Werewolf

Werewolf

Member
Joined
May 12, 2020
Messages
85
Hi I’m a 31 year borderline alcoholic with chronic depression and anxiety. Been prowling around the forum for awhile now so I thought I’d finally join, lots of good information here and the vibe kinda calms me.
I’ve been able to maintain a semi-normal life even though it’s a constant battle, not many other than my closest friends and family knows about my problems, it’s all smoke and mirrors of course. Last year though things have gone from bad to pretty much unbearable due to deaths in the family, wife left me, can’t sleep can’t eat.

Was sober for a year but that only made me feel worse I’m just tired of fighting now and the constant noise in my head only ever stops when I drink, gives me a few hours of peace at least. Been on pretty much every medication there is and nothing ever worked.
Somehow I think my brain is just wired wrong.

When not trying to maintain my life-lie I play guitar and drums, used to play weekends at the local pub but anxiety made that impossible. Now just being at work takes up so much energy that I’m utterly exhausted to the point were I just pass out when I get home.

This turned into a longer post than intended so I’ll just end it here.

Nice to meet y’all.
 
wannabgone

wannabgone

New Member
Joined
Dec 26, 2019
Messages
2
Hi I am a 27 year old disappointment living my parents. When I was a kid I dreamt of things I can't have, but later realised that those were obsessions. I am a procrastinator and a recluse with no motivation to live life with what I have. I am plainly selfish and want more because I am not settling for less. I have more than what most people don't have in life yet I usually play the victim. For so long I have blamed my parents, friends and everyone else for all the missteps that has happened in my life. I am here because of the choices I made but was a coward to acknowledge them. I am not sure if am emotionally broken but I feel broken. I am self aware of all my idiotic thoughts yet I feed them with more absurdity like a man feeding a greedy dog. I get this feeling that I am the only protagonist in a story called 'Life' and that nature is against me in achieving greatness. Good thing, I know how the story ends.
 
J

JustAnotherNumber

Member
Joined
May 14, 2020
Messages
5
Hey... new to this site. Not sure why I signed up. Been very depressed for what seems like forever. I am also a type 1 diabetic so that just adds to the everyday enjoyment of life.

I guess more looking for like minded people. Have thought about suicide more and more recently.

Off the top of my head methid would be insulin overdose even though its not supposed to be effective.

The lowest my bloodsugar ever was is .6 mmol I was conscious but not coherent
My now ex called the ambulance. It wasn't a suicide attempt. I was sick and woke up from a nap with low sugars.

Random story lol. Any way. Nice to be here.... for now.
 
E

Epsilon0

Illuminated
Joined
Dec 28, 2019
Messages
1,881
Hey... new to this site. Not sure why I signed up. Been very depressed for what seems like forever. I am also a type 1 diabetic so that just adds to the everyday enjoyment of life.

I guess more looking for like minded people. Have thought about suicide more and more recently.

Off the top of my head methid would be insulin overdose even though its not supposed to be effective.

The lowest my bloodsugar ever was is .6 mmol I was conscious but not coherent
My now ex called the ambulance. It wasn't a suicide attempt. I was sick and woke up from a nap with low sugars.

Random story lol. Any way. Nice to be here.... for now.

Wow .6 mmol! I didn’t know it was possible to be alive. I’m sorry you battle this horrible disease. Welcome to the forum.
 
J

JustAnotherNumber

Member
Joined
May 14, 2020
Messages
5
Wow .6 mmol! I didn’t know it was possible to be alive. I’m sorry you battle this horrible disease. Welcome to the forum.
Thanks.
Ya. I dont remember much. Apparently I asked her not to call the ambulance because I didn't want to lose my license. The paramedics were in amazement also.

I have to admit reading some of the threads this place seems pretty open and welcoming
 
E

Epsilon0

Illuminated
Joined
Dec 28, 2019
Messages
1,881
Thanks.
Ya. I dont remember much. Apparently I asked her not to call the ambulance because I didn't want to lose my license. The paramedics were in amazement also.

I have to admit reading some of the threads this place seems pretty open and welcoming
This place is whatever you make of it. In itself it isn’t anything. See you around!
 
gymletethnicel

gymletethnicel

Ugliest man alive
Joined
May 16, 2020
Messages
28
Hello, I'm 20 a year old disabled and short Arab incel with barely any money. I also live in the West, which is hell for any Arab male as we are seen as lower than dogs. I have no ambitions. I am universally hated by women because of my genetics and I am a laughing stock to the people, like a clown.
 
S

stiffneckl

-
Joined
Nov 17, 2018
Messages
5
Hello All, I am here because so many of you not only encourage but also support suicide. This a right that we should all have to choose our ending. I have several illnesses, some that will be terminal in time, with no cure. Presently I able to live a decent life. According to my Dr., my quality of life will start to decline rapidly within 9 to 12 months. He tells me that within 18 months or so, my life will be starting to be vegetative state. So I am getting my affairs in order and planning to hang asap. I am not angry at my life, in fact I have had a good life. I very happy to be able to decide the end it while I still am able.
 
Mainlænder

Mainlænder

Veteran
Joined
May 20, 2019
Messages
185
Hello All, I am here because so many of you not only encourage but also support suicide. This a right that we should all have to choose our ending. I have several illnesses, some that will be terminal in time, with no cure. Presently I able to live a decent life. According to my Dr., my quality of life will start to decline rapidly within 9 to 12 months. He tells me that within 18 months or so, my life will be starting to be vegetative state. So I am getting my affairs in order and planning to hang asap. I am not angry at my life, in fact I have had a good life. I very happy to be able to decide the end it while I still am able.
Hey, don't leave (the forum) yet! We are here to hear!
 
B

brood

Member
Joined
Sep 4, 2019
Messages
12
Hello there, 66 year old male from UK.
I've been around here for some time now, exploring to find the best way, for me that is, to kill myself.
There is no particular rush, I just wish to avoid the humiliation and degradation that has been suffered by too many much loved friends and relatives as they grew older, I will be in charge of my own destiny. For as long as I can remember I have entertained some suicidal thoughts but while in the past I could see no compelling reason to die, I now see no compelling reason to live and when I can no longer live life as I would wish I will end it.
When I first came to this site I had intended to use a lethal drug dose, but on reading many posts found this method to be overly complicated with bad side effects and a less than satisfactory success rate. I have now decided on full suspension hanging, with a large stout plastic bag over my head just in case I don't find the sweet spot, I realise this could lead to major discomfort for a while but the intention is to be dead in a short time and I believe it will be worth it.
I now have aquired a suitable rope, a less than stable lightweight chair, a suitable airtight plastic bag and I have a thick steel bar, long enough to spread the weight over several floor joists as a gibbet. I also have some fairly cheap but strong ratchet handcuffs which will allow me to secure my arms behind my back.
So there it is, secure rope to bar, stand on chair, put one wrist in handcuffs, place bag over head, noose round neck sealing bag, reach behind putting other wrist in cuffs, step off and kick chair away. Job done, there will be no tomorrow.
Wishing myself and everybody else success in our mission.
 
cosmonaut

cosmonaut

Member
Joined
May 17, 2020
Messages
17
Hi everyone, I'm a 21 yr old female student in the usa. I have a history of depression and suicidal ideas, and I struggle with severe health anxiety nowadays due to a health scare. I grew up isolated and still feel isolated to this day. I still have reoccurring suicidal thoughts, but I'm trying to fight them and find new ways to enjoy life by trying different things and seeing what sticks. I feel like I can't discuss my thoughts and feelings in real life, but after lurking here for some time, I found this forum to be very nice and accepting of different ideas.I had a plan to CTB at age 25, but have pushed it out to 30 as I'd like to see if my life improves between the time. I'll mostly be posting in the offtopic and recovery forums, and I hope to post some of my art in the future.

I enjoy being close to nature, art, my cat, rainy days, environmental sciences, journaling, watching animated shows, talking to my family, and aimlessly driving around while listening to music. Right now I'm trying to teach myself to propagate succulents and trying to motivate myself to draw. I've always been fascinated with death after seeing several suicides, and like to incorporate melancholic things into some of the art I make.

This was long so thanks if you read the whole thing! You all seem like a nice bunch, and I hope to see you guys around on the forums
 
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K-O

K-O

FU(KOFFEE
Joined
Apr 16, 2020
Messages
1,078
Hi everyone, I'm a 21 yr old female student in the usa. I have a history of depression and suicidal ideas, and I struggle with severe health anxiety nowadays due to a health scare. I grew up isolated and still feel isolated to this day. I still have reoccurring suicidal thoughts, but I'm trying to fight them and find new ways to enjoy life by trying different things and seeing what sticks. I feel like I can't discuss my thoughts and feelings in real life, but after lurking here for some time, I found this forum to be very nice and accepting of different ideas.I had a plan to CTB at age 25, but have pushed it out to 30 as I'd like to see if my life improves between the time. I'll mostly be posting in the offtopic and recovery forums, and I hope to post some of my art in the future.

I enjoy being close to nature, art, my cat, rainy days, environmental sciences, journaling, watching animated shows, talking to my family, and aimlessly driving around while listening to music. Right now I'm trying to teach myself to propagate succulents and trying to motivate myself to draw. I've always been fascinated with death after seeing several suicides, and like to incorporate melancholic things into some of the art I make.

This was long so thanks if you read the whole thing! You all seem like a nice bunch, and I hope to see you guys around on the forums
hiya Margie! i luv your avatar! when ever her hair goes strait i just melt :love: i will be waiting for your art on the thread! welcome sweat heart! x
 
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cosmonaut

cosmonaut

Member
Joined
May 17, 2020
Messages
17
hiya Margie! i luv your avatar! when ever her hair goes strait i just melt :love: i will be waiting for you art on the thread! welcome sweat heart! x
oops I think you responded to the wrong person

Im dumb - you're talking about my avatar lol! thank you!
 
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