Introduce yourself

  • Thread starter Sanctioned Suicide
  • Start date
  • Welcome to Sanctioned Suicide, a pro-choice forum for the discussion of mental illness, suicide, and the moral implications of the act itself. This is not a pro-suicide site. We do not encourage or aid suicide, and the information offered is for educational purposes only. Read our rules and FAQ for more information.
    For immediate help, consider calling the Samaritan's hotline: (877) 870-4673. Be aware they may call emergency services if they believe you are at imminent risk of death. We also offer a recovery subforum if you wish to get support.
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Sanctioned Suicide

Sanctioned Suicide

-
Mar 17, 2018
9
204
Hey guys,

Noticed a lot of threads pop up with new members saying hey. To reduce clutter we have decided to make a welcome thread for everyone new to introduce themselves and for people to welcome them, basically merging all future welcome posts into this one.

With that said, welcome to Sanctioned Suicide, we're a pro-choice forum; make sure to read the rules and check the resource sticky out too!

Post your introductions here!
 
Maravillosa

Maravillosa

Mistress of all she surveys
Sep 7, 2018
553
2,091
Hello everybody!

I will turn 52 this month: never married, no kids. I am a practicing Catholic. I serve as a lector and Communion minister at my parish: I am also a Lay Carmelite. (For more info on Lay Carmelites see http://laycarmelitespcm.org/, http://ocarm.org/en/content/ocarm/third-order and http://ocarm.org/en/content/ocarm/some-questions-and-answers-about-lay-carmelites.) I am a history buff and like to write fiction (especially alternate history). I suspect that I will likely ctb by suspension hanging once my bedridden mother (for whom I am a caregiver) has passed away, but Mom could easily live another 10 years. Therefore, I find things to do in the meantime and pray for God's mercy.
 
jaemus12

jaemus12

Earth’s Parasite
May 11, 2018
568
2,717
Hello y'all,

I am Jaemus and I have no idea what I am doing with life. I f***ed my shit and I see no way of fixing it for the future so I am waiting for the bus.

I use to escape through playing The Sims making my sims live the perfect life but my gaming computer broke and never got a new one because I don't want to waste money to save for my family after I do the deed. I also like to draw, play games and also make random games on Scratch but none of them really entertain me anymore. Oh yeah, I am also currently watching The Flash.

P.S. My life is fucked.
 
Brokenanddeadinside

Brokenanddeadinside

Specialist
Aug 8, 2018
391
1,197
I am 28 in the us and I struggle with bipolar and potentially bpd. I have really fucked up my life from self destructing. I like to ride motorcycles, play games, produce music, watch anime, and going to goth clubs and raves.
 
Marystevenson1001

Marystevenson1001

Member
Aug 17, 2018
69
406
Hello I'm 38. Last psychiatrist said he had no good diagnosis for me. Therefore finding treatment is even harder. Been in therapy for over 3 years and tried med after med. Just hopeless now. Tired of being in constant pain emotionally.

I have built a good life for myself but it wasnt enough to ease the pain. I still feel a little scared when thinking about ctb but I have all that I need now. So soon, but no exact date has been set.

Nice to meet you all and thank you so so much for this forum. It has helped me so much. <3
 
ikuchan

ikuchan

ying
Aug 28, 2018
23
168
Hi, my name is Rin. My life was ruined to an irreparable degree years ago during my adolescence. The past for me was hell and the memories of it, I can't even tell anonymously to strangers or on this forum. In retrospect, I should have killed myself back then. But I didn't. I was young, I had this foolish thought that things would get better. If I gave it my all, if I tried... then I could be happy. So I lived. And despite achieving things I thought would ideally give the average person fulfillment, I found the emptiness that formed from that trauma and pain still there. Inside of me, it remains as if it's an organ that I can no longer separate myself from.

I hope I can be free of it soon.
 
G

Gege

-
Sep 9, 2018
29
29
Hey everyone
I'm a 17 year old female from the US and I've struggled with severe mental illness my entire life. Treatment hasn't helped the smallest bit and I refuse to live this way for the rest of my life. My only hobby is sitting on the internet all day long and having no human contact.
We have a lot in common maybe we could help each others out ?
 
F

FailedWoman

Member
Sep 7, 2018
50
95
Hey, I'm a 30 year old trans woman from Europe.
I totally fucked up my life with many years of repression and denial.
Struggling with mental illness, I've been going back and forth between trying to salvage this shitty life and trying to get out of this horrifying flesh prison.
Not sure when I'll attempt next, but I feel it's getting closer.
 
RM5998

RM5998

Sack of Meat
Sep 3, 2018
1,745
3,584
I'm a 20 year old college student who can't keep his thoughts in order. Sorry for the rambling nature of the post.

I like watching animation, from both east and west. I've developed a liking for good cinema and television because of my tendency to waste my time, and sometimes I listen to Nightcore versions of pop songs. I also like electronic music. I have a slightly odd taste in video games. I am (was) interested in game development, and l want (wanted) to learn to play the guitar. I used to read random novels before, but now I mostly read comics and manga, with the occasional classic thrown in.

I remember setting a use-before date for myself way back when I was 12. As I've gotten older, I've reduced the age I'll allow myself to live to. I'm currently sapping my parents' money to get a degree I wanted back when I was capable of wanting stuff. Now I'm trying to muster up the courage to kill myself before the fee payment date for next semester comes around.
 
Swisher

Swisher

Thanks for the sandwich
Sep 9, 2018
393
12,540
Hi everyone,
O, thank you, thank you SO much for welcoming me. I'm only alive here. (Sorry to blab. I'll try not to again...). Of course, I cannot figure out how to do anything on this site because my job was/is a computer admin who teaches other computer admin which equals - don't know what I'm doing (ca+ca= huh?) I'm female not male. At least I fixed that.
I hopped on here & read Caustic Cardinals posts first. Obviously, I can relate. I have a window of opportunity which shuts on the 15th. I cannot fail.
Btw, saw a *post yesterday that talked about how difficult it is (INSTINCTIVELY) to "off" ourselves. There is a mathematical equation for this. Basically it says, a Mother does not throw herself in front of a bus to save her child due to altruism but because we cannot help ourselves. It's instinctual. A proven mathematical equation ( and Not a popular one).
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gene-centered_view_of_evolution
Was on Discovery too. ( Hamilton? then went on to try proving his equation wrong...cold, alone, broke and homeless). *who posted that?
 
Wantingpeace

Wantingpeace

-
Aug 16, 2018
674
1,344
I'm 35 year old woman..

Was stupidly put on a drug meant for severe depression when I bloody didn't have it before..enter a 16 year nightamre of drug side effects but Every time I came off few months later I mysteriously had clinical depression severe anxiety I didn't have before. Took me all of 16 yrs to figure out was the bloody drugs. They switched me to another to try and come off first and after 16 years of struggle I had a severe reaction to the second drug. Somethjng FRIED away in brain and life has been absolute torture since. Three years now. Before this happened even though I struggled still had interests felt had future some sort of life. I haven't been able to feel life exists for three years now except occasional "glimpse" that its still there.
 
Swisher

Swisher

Thanks for the sandwich
Sep 9, 2018
393
12,540
All anti depressants have made me sick. I have to take amitriptyline for sleep. But if I take them now, I get the exact opposite affect. They are so very hard on your brain. I call it hard sleep and soft sleep ( natural sleep. Being tired...is completely elusive for me). I promised myself, I would not go past ten years feeling horrible. I'm part that. I'm done and tired of it all. My Glimpse died completely just over a month ago... there are no more happy thoughts...at all. I'm sorry yours are leaving you. I'm new & I just now am able to see you're post. They hand this stuff out like candy.
 
Caustic Cardinals

Caustic Cardinals

Illuminated
Sep 1, 2018
1,348
3,887
Circling a black hole
All anti depressants have made me sick. I have to take amitriptyline for sleep. But if I take them now, I get the exact opposite affect. They are so very hard on your brain. I call it hard sleep and soft sleep ( natural sleep. Being tired...is completely elusive for me). I promised myself, I would not go past ten years feeling horrible. I'm part that. I'm done and tired of it all. My Glimpse died completely just over a month ago... there are no more happy thoughts...at all. I'm sorry yours are leaving you. I'm new & I just now am able to see you're post. They hand this stuff out like candy.
I like candy
 
weedoge

weedoge

Banned
Jul 12, 2018
1,562
5,934
Hey I'm mid-young-20s and just here for the ride until I pluck up the courage to end it. Hoping and praying I can be gone before the end of october, if I miss my deadline I'll know that I'm too weak and I have no hope and probably spiral. I manage to keep myself distracted on here and keep my mood up by maintaining a healthy detachment from emotions in general until I can finally leave. I'm fucked basically.
 
Swisher

Swisher

Thanks for the sandwich
Sep 9, 2018
393
12,540
Hey I'm mid-young-20s and just here for the ride until I pluck up the courage to end it. Hoping and praying I can be gone before the end of october, if I miss my deadline I'll know that I'm too weak and I have no hope and probably spiral. I manage to keep myself distracted on here and keep my mood up by maintaining a healthy detachment from emotions in general until I can finally leave. I'm fucked basically.
I feel the same way. I really wanted out by the 15th. I tried a tiny experimental test. I can see that the 15th won't happen. Bouncing ideas off of a lot of genuine human beings ( I'm surrounded by vicious family) has helped me a lot.
 
NOISYMIND

NOISYMIND

The prettiest star in the sky
Sep 11, 2018
164
660
Taiwan
Hi I am 24 from a small island country in Asia. I suffer from severe mental illnesses and haven’t had a good sleep for ages.

I had a disturbing childhood that basically killed the best of me. Once I was very happy when I lived in London, but I couldn’t stay any longer due to visa issues and had to come back to this shit hole where stops me from being who I really am. I genuinely hate being in Asia and all the conservative/judgemental people/culture around me. But I’m likely to be stuck in here for long because I’m broke and so is my family. A dream of studying a master degree in the UK/ creating art 24/7 /working abroad seems impossible for me. I blame myself for not being able to control my life, my emotions, thoughts and all. I’ve been haunted by the past and traumatic experience, plus can’t stop worrying the future too. Everything’s fucked and I’m a real mess.

I’ve attempted to kill myself a couple times but failed as my family and some random people found out. Won’t stop seeking the best way to death as long as I’m alive.
 
xBones

xBones

Member
Sep 4, 2018
29
134
Az
Hey all.

Noticed a lot of threads pop up with new members saying hey. To reduce clutter we have decided to make a welcome thread for everyone new to introduce themselves and for people to welcome them, basically merging all future welcome posts into this one.

So please post your introductions here. We will remove any welcome thread going forward from this date and redirect users to welcome themselves here or merge their thread into this one.

If you spot a welcome thread, please report it, you won't get in trouble... we just want less clutter. Thank you!

With that, welcome to Sanctioned Suicide, we're a pro-choice forum; make sure to read the rules and check the resource sticky out too!

Rules: https://sanctionedsuicide.net/threads/rules-and-faq.4
Resource sticky: https://www.sanctionedsuicide.net/threads/list-of-resources.3/
Hello, I’m 19 and struggling with my mental health. Due to my mistakes in life and situations that happened I feel as though my existence is no longer needed. I’ll be hanging out here until I can find the confidence to do it.
 
B

Ben

-
Sep 12, 2018
788
2,544
Canada
My name is Ben. I had this placed bookmarked for a month when I saw a decent guide for partial suspension. I’ve spent the last 3-4 hours reading posts and comments. I wish I would have discovered this place sooner. Not that I’m looking to be saved, or even can be, it’s just cool to have a place where I don’t have to be fake and tell everyone everything is great. Because it’s not. I’m not one to give my life story unless it’s called for, but fuck the journey anyway, we are all looking at the same destination.

I will be gone by the end of this month. Maybe even sooner because I have no reason to put it off, other than I can having a roof over my head for 2 more weeks. I’ve chosen partial suspension as my method. I’m not too concerned with other methods. If that fails I’ll do full suspension or train. I’m going to end my life, so why shy from the pain.That’s just my opinion though. Don’t want to spend my last few dollars and bursts of energy trying to find a hook up on some lab chemical we have to jump through loops to get. I’m confident when I’m ready to go, I’ll make it happen.

I’ve fucked up a lot of things in my life, but hanging yourself does not require a 14 step procedure. Those steps are to make you feel better. Don’t worry it’s quick, don’t worry it’s painless. Everyone here is well aware of the survival instinct, everyone’s is worried about physical pain...but it’s the mental part that intimidated me. I’ve only ever failed at the last second because a voice pops up and says WAIT EVERYTHING WILL BE ALRIGHT IF YOU JUST LIVE RIGHT NOW and then you shake the death off your shoulders to lay in the same bed of pain you’ve been in you’re whole life.

Ok whoa I’m ranting. Anyway, I’m just looking to hangout and maybe make some connections for the rest of the month. I have no friends and family don’t wanna hear this shit so...here I am!
 
Swisher

Swisher

Thanks for the sandwich
Sep 9, 2018
393
12,540
My name is Ben. I had this placed bookmarked for a month when I saw a decent guide for partial suspension. I’ve spent the last 3-4 hours reading posts and comments. I wish I would have discovered this place sooner. Not that I’m looking to be saved, or even can be, it’s just cool to have a place where I don’t have to be fake and tell everyone everything is great. Because it’s not. I’m not one to give my life story unless it’s called for, but fuck the journey anyway, we are all looking at the same destination.

I will be gone by the end of this month. Maybe even sooner because I have no reason to put it off, other than I can having a roof over my head for 2 more weeks. I’ve chosen partial suspension as my method. I’m not too concerned with other methods. If that fails I’ll do full suspension or train. I’m going to end my life, so why shy from the pain.That’s just my opinion though. Don’t want to spend my last few dollars and bursts of energy trying to find a hook up on some lab chemical we have to jump through loops to get. I’m confident when I’m ready to go, I’ll make it happen.

I’ve fucked up a lot of things in my life, but hanging yourself does not require a 14 step procedure. Those steps are to make you feel better. Don’t worry it’s quick, don’t worry it’s painless. Everyone here is well aware of the survival instinct, everyone’s is worried about physical pain...but it’s the mental part that intimidated me. I’ve only ever failed at the last second because a voice pops up and says WAIT EVERYTHING WILL BE ALRIGHT IF YOU JUST LIVE RIGHT NOW and then you shake the death off your shoulders to lay in the same bed of pain you’ve been in you’re whole life.

Ok whoa I’m ranting. Anyway, I’m just looking to hangout and maybe make some connections for the rest of the month. I have no friends and family don’t wanna hear this shit so...here I am!
Actually, I kind of do want your life story our whatever your willing to share. We simply cannot help ourselves. This instinct is impossible to override. Your almost have to plan to accidentally CBT?! Maybe you could share when you/if you can message. I frankly want to know whatever anyone's willing to share. As I've said before, it selfishly comforts me.
 
Swisher

Swisher

Thanks for the sandwich
Sep 9, 2018
393
12,540
Hi I am 24 from a small island country in Asia. I suffer from severe mental illnesses and haven’t had a good sleep for ages.

I had a disturbing childhood that basically killed the best of me. Once I was very happy when I lived in London, but I couldn’t stay any longer due to visa issues and had to come back to this shit hole where stops me from being who I really am. I genuinely hate being in Asia and all the conservative/judgemental people/culture around me. But I’m likely to be stuck in here for long because I’m broke and so is my family. A dream of studying a master degree in the UK/ creating art 24/7 /working abroad seems impossible for me. I blame myself for not being able to control my life, my emotions, thoughts and all. I’ve been haunted by the past and traumatic experience, plus can’t stop worrying the future too. Everything’s fucked and I’m a real mess.

I’ve attempted to kill myself a couple times but failed as my family and some random people found out. Won’t stop seeking the best way to death as long as I’m alive.
What did you try? Is it okay to ask that? And how did you feel? Why did you fail? Are you from the US originally? Please share what you like...maybe message when you can, if you like. This is only my 3rd day here, btw
 
B

Ben

-
Sep 12, 2018
788
2,544
Canada
Actually, I kind of do want your life story our whatever your willing to share. We simply cannot help ourselves. This instinct is impossible to override. Your almost have to plan to accidentally CBT?! Maybe you could share when you/if you can message. I frankly want to know whatever anyone's willing to share. As I've said before, it selfishly comforts me.
>be born
>dope
>already have a sister so I got toys for days
>dope
>grow up in a shitty neighborhood
>not dope
>school is kindergarten- grade 12
>get beat up for Pokémon cards on the daily
>older sister protects me, sometimes
>get bullied lots, as chubby kids do
>find out parents kinda hate each other
>every christmas was a lie
>got n64 though so whatever
>dad starts making more money
>MoOoOOoooovin out the ghetto
>move to safe secluded neighbourhood
>start stealing their Pokémon cards
>just kidding
>everyone is sacred of me cuz I’m “hood tuff”
>have great middle school life
>new challenger approaches
>jr high
>my outer family starts dying off like fleas
>only see them once a year, not traumatized
>parents start drinking and fighting
>great school life, horrible home life
>mr popular at school
>mr hide in my fucking room at home
>new challenger approaches
>high school
>get deep into drugs
>full blown drug addict at 16
>fuckwithmenowdad.jpeg
>kicked my dads ass twice
>sister is angel
>her life story is on the Disney channel
>barely graduate
>sister moves to Thailand
> k peace
>try to CTB and succeed
>just kidding I woke up
>(5 years of foggy drug filled memories)
>get sober, but my mind is gone
>start going a little crazy
>full blown legal drug addict at 22
>start going a little...nothing
>ditch the pills, become a rapper
>release 3 albums
>go on tour across Canada
>start molding a life I can’t mentally handle
>hermit mode
>lost my rap group
>lost my friends
>try to CTB, succeed a second time
>just kidding I woke up from that time also
>mom n dad hate me, I assume, who knows
>sister sippin mojitos in Thailand
>can’t hold a job
>start selling drugs so I can afford a room
>I’m done selling drugs
>youprobablywouldnthireme.jpeg
>struggle everyday to not go postal
>stay inside all day so im the only one at risk
>self medicate once in awhile
>rinse and repeat for 2 years
>I’m done being a burden
>September 2018 set to be last month
>find this place
>make intro post
>reply to you
>leave out countless other things I don’t even want to share with strangers.
 
RM5998

RM5998

Sack of Meat
Sep 3, 2018
1,745
3,584
>be born
>dope
>already have a sister so I got toys for days
>dope
>grow up in a shitty neighborhood
>not dope
>school is kindergarten- grade 12
>get beat up for Pokémon cards on the daily
>older sister protects me, sometimes
>get bullied lots, as chubby kids do
>find out parents kinda hate each other
>every christmas was a lie
>got n64 though so whatever
>dad starts making more money
>MoOoOOoooovin out the ghetto
>move to safe secluded neighbourhood
>start stealing their Pokémon cards
>just kidding
>everyone is sacred of me cuz I’m “hood tuff”
>have great middle school life
>new challenger approaches
>jr high
>my outer family starts dying off like fleas
>only see them once a year, not traumatized
>parents start drinking and fighting
>great school life, horrible home life
>mr popular at school
>mr hide in my fucking room at home
>new challenger approaches
>high school
>get deep into drugs
>full blown drug addict at 16
>fuckwithmenowdad.jpeg
>kicked my dads ass twice
>sister is angel
>her life story is on the Disney channel
>barely graduate
>sister moves to Thailand
> k peace
>try to CTB and succeed
>just kidding I woke up
>(5 years of foggy drug filled memories)
>get sober, but my mind is gone
>start going a little crazy
>full blown legal drug addict at 22
>start going a little...nothing
>ditch the pills, become a rapper
>release 3 albums
>go on tour across Canada
>start molding a life I can’t mentally handle
>hermit mode
>lost my rap group
>lost my friends
>try to CTB, succeed a second time
>just kidding I woke up from that time also
>mom n dad hate me, I assume, who knows
>sister sippin mojitos in Thailand
>can’t hold a job
>start selling drugs so I can afford a room
>I’m done selling drugs
>youprobablywouldnthireme.jpeg
>struggle everyday to not go postal
>stay inside all day so im the only one at risk
>self medicate once in awhile
>rinse and repeat for 2 years
>I’m done being a burden
>September 2018 set to be last month
>find this place
>make intro post
>reply to you
>leave out countless other things I don’t even want to share with strangers.
Sounds like the bullet list bios people put on twitter, but infinitely more authentic.