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Venting Impulsive ctb after arguing

TimeToBiteTheDust

TimeToBiteTheDust

It's OK not to be OK.
Joined
Nov 7, 2019
Messages
2,297
Does anyone feels like ctbing after arguing with someone? I find this happens to me lately. When I argue with someone I feel an extreme necessity of killing myself. But I know this is impulsive and impulsiveness could lead to failure and worsen things.
 
Lunarhour

Lunarhour

-
Joined
May 15, 2020
Messages
137
Not for me really. Arguments can pump me up, get my adrenaline going, making me more powerful and increasing my will to survive to prove them wrong. Big ego you can say, almost ape like.

Going to my mail box, reading writing on piece of paper that i will be evicted in two days if i dont pay my rent is enough. Its a silent nuclear exploision in my head, with silent alarms ringing and i quietly look out the window and begin to think of ways to crucify myself.
 
goblinsinmyhead

goblinsinmyhead

We are slowly... sinking.
Joined
Apr 21, 2020
Messages
322
Yes, wow... Any discussion makes me lose my mind and cry uncontrollably. And it hurts even more when people ask me about my future. No psychiatric remedy has helped me to hold these emotions, which ends up scaring people around me away.

And I try to control myself not to stick a knife in my throat.
 
Last edited:
RileyTanaka

RileyTanaka

ill / failure
Joined
Mar 20, 2020
Messages
265
This post really hit me. It's not about the fight, it's just that one last thing that pushes you over the edge when you already have too many reasons not to live. One day I know I'll succumb the same way - just one more shitty, hurtful interaction with someone at a point where I have no will or health left and I won't even react. I'll just go home, begin taking the regimen/SN and say goodnight.
 
TimeToBiteTheDust

TimeToBiteTheDust

It's OK not to be OK.
Joined
Nov 7, 2019
Messages
2,297
This post really hit me. It's not about the fight, it's just that one last thing that pushes you over the edge when you already have too many reasons not to live. One day I know I'll succumb the same way - just one more shitty, hurtful interaction with someone at a point where I have no will or health left and I won't even react. I'll just go home, begin taking the regimen/SN and say goodnight.
Yeah. It's like I'm on the edge waiting for some bad situation to push me.
 
OverwhelmingDarkness

OverwhelmingDarkness

The devils here are vast and plenty
Joined
Jan 13, 2020
Messages
145
Does anyone feels like ctbing after arguing with someone? I find this happens to me lately. When I argue with someone I feel an extreme necessity of killing myself. But I know this is impulsive and impulsiveness could lead to failure and worsen things.
Yes. Whenever I get into an argument with anyone, no matter how big or small, my suicidal ideation worsens and I just wanna ctb more at that moment.
 
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