I'm trying very hard

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leonfreak

leonfreak

<<-voDKa->>
Aug 12, 2018
12
41
I am checking myself in to phych again tomorrow to have ECT again (because I didn't finish my treatments last time) because I have a stable living situation, a healthy relationship, friends, but I still feel empty. If this doesn't work I am going to hang myself with a belt via my bathroom door, I already tested it and my vision got all fuzzy and I could of given in but I wasn't sad enough yet I guess but now I am and I really just hope this works or I'm just gonna have to catch that bus I guess.
 
Jon86

Jon86

Specialist
Apr 9, 2018
317
859
I may give in tonight, been struggling for 20 years. The belt works for you hey? i'll probably fail like usual (abort the attempt) but i'm planning to go out similarly via partial with a rope from a pullup bar. Already, started getting drunk, will probably add in a cocktail of anti-depressants to feel zombied as possible to complete this fucking nightmare.

Suicide is fucking shit, i'm so annoyed by it at this point.
 
leonfreak

leonfreak

<<-voDKa->>
Aug 12, 2018
12
41
I may give in tonight, been struggling for 20 years. The belt works for you hey? i'll probably fail like usual (abort the attempt) but i'm planning to go out similarly via partial with a rope from a pullup bar. Already, started getting drunk, will probably add in a cocktail of anti-depressants to feel zombied as possible to complete this fucking nightmare.

Suicide is fucking shit, i'm so annoyed by it at this point.

Good luck. I weigh 160 so idk if belt closed in the door will work for everyone, but I hope you have luck with your method. See you on the other side.
 
Hasssssuùuu

Hasssssuùuu

Staff
Sep 18, 2018
828
2,424
I am checking myself in to phych again tomorrow to have ECT again (because I didn't finish my treatments last time) because I have a stable living situation, a healthy relationship, friends, but I still feel empty. If this doesn't work I am going to hang myself with a belt via my bathroom door, I already tested it and my vision got all fuzzy and I could of given in but I wasn't sad enough yet I guess but now I am and I really just hope this works or I'm just gonna have to catch that bus I guess.
wish you the best of luck in you're attempt to getting better. hope you find the peace you're looking for.
 
Jon86

Jon86

Specialist
Apr 9, 2018
317
859
Good luck. I weigh 160 so idk if belt closed in the door will work for everyone, but I hope you have luck with your method. See you on the other side.
Thanks man, good luck to you too. Still feel the usual hesitation, i've tried this method enough to know how much SI i'll feel in the moment, ah fuck, so tired of this shit. If it doesn't work tonight i'll go to a bridge tomorrow to see if I can do that. This shits so dumb, lol ah fucking stupid suicide.
 
Baskol1

Baskol1

No life, no problems
Aug 11, 2019
1,042
1,608
This feeling of emptiness is a typical symptom of depression. Unfortunately depression will never go completely away. And if someone has depression it does not matter if someone is healthy and successful, the emptiness is still there.
 
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pigglywiggly

Member
Aug 12, 2019
14
24
I am checking myself in to phych again tomorrow to have ECT again (because I didn't finish my treatments last time) because I have a stable living situation, a healthy relationship, friends, but I still feel empty. If this doesn't work I am going to hang myself with a belt via my bathroom door, I already tested it and my vision got all fuzzy and I could of given in but I wasn't sad enough yet I guess but now I am and I really just hope this works or I'm just gonna have to catch that bus I guess.
After trying so many different meds and treatments I start to lose even the last bit of hope that I didn't even know I still had.