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I'm so tempted to make up a shot of SN/water.

BitterlyAlive

BitterlyAlive

Tired of the pain.
Joined
Apr 8, 2020
Messages
1,364
Just need to get the thought out of my head. I want to try it so badly, but obviously SN isn't something you simply try. Besides, my parents are home. This is such an irrational thought, but it's so tempting.
 
GoodPersonEffed

GoodPersonEffed

Brevity is my middle name, but my name was TL
Joined
Jan 11, 2020
Messages
5,784
Just need to get the thought out of my head. I want to try it so badly, but obviously SN isn't something you simply try. Besides, my parents are home. This is such an irrational thought, but it's so tempting.
Oh crap. I'm concerned because you sometimes go through with such things.

Can you go for a walk?

Go get some McDonald's?
 
Racon

Racon

Veteran
Joined
Aug 29, 2020
Messages
169
Sometimes I wonder if impulsivity is the only way to CTB. I feel the rational-thinking approach could be a delaying tactic I can't admit to.
 
T

tidalwxves

Veteran
Joined
Sep 8, 2020
Messages
144
Just need to get the thought out of my head. I want to try it so badly, but obviously SN isn't something you simply try. Besides, my parents are home. This is such an irrational thought, but it's so tempting.
Thank you for actually sharing this, it gives the opportunity for someone to help you. Please do whatever you can to distract yourself. Maybe talk to you parents, just casual conversation. Or you could watch one of your favorite movies, read a book. It's important to get engrossed in another activity, that will get your mind off it.
 
BitterlyAlive

BitterlyAlive

Tired of the pain.
Joined
Apr 8, 2020
Messages
1,364
Oh crap. I'm concerned because you sometimes go through with such things.

Can you go for a walk?

Go get some McDonald's?
I'm sorry, I don't want to worry you. If it gets really bad, I have options:
• drive
• self harm
• eat

They're all dissociative activities for me, actually. Huh.
Thank you for actually sharing this, it gives the opportunity for someone to help you. Please do whatever you can to distract yourself. Maybe talk to you parents, just casual conversation. Or you could watch one of your favorite movies, read a book. It's important to get engrossed in another activity, that will get your mind off it.
I just ate with my parents (was hoping it would distract me) and realized before I sat down that my cuts were visible....which just made me wanna hurt myself more. God damn this shit, man.

I'd say half the time I can distract myself with something else. I definitely have options if needed. Thanks.
 
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tidalwxves

Veteran
Joined
Sep 8, 2020
Messages
144
I'm sorry, I don't want to worry you. If it gets really bad, I have options:
• drive
• self harm
• eat

They're all dissociative activities for me, actually. Huh.

I just ate with my parents (was hoping it would distract me) and realized before I sat down that my cuts were visible....which just made me wanna hurt myself more. God damn this shit, man.

I'd say half the time I can distract myself with something else. I definitely have options if needed. Thanks.
Have you tried holding ice? I know some people with a history of self harm that have really benefitted from it. It gives the distracting sensation of pain they were looking for, but it doesn't leave scars, hurt the next day etc. I've also heard of people snapping rubber bands on their wrist. Just want to make sure you have safe options
 
BitterlyAlive

BitterlyAlive

Tired of the pain.
Joined
Apr 8, 2020
Messages
1,364
Have you tried holding ice? I know some people with a history of self harm that have really benefitted from it. It gives the distracting sensation of pain they were looking for, but it doesn't leave scars, hurt the next day etc. I've also heard of people snapping rubber bands on their wrist. Just want to make sure you have safe options
I have tried ice, actually. It still hurts but it's not the same. It's hard to explain :/

I feel like such an asshole for this thread, but I felt it was better to get the thoughts out than keep it in and do something stupid
 
T

tidalwxves

Veteran
Joined
Sep 8, 2020
Messages
144
I have tried ice, actually. It still hurts but it's not the same. It's hard to explain :/

I feel like such an asshole for this thread, but I felt it was better to get the thoughts out than keep it in and do something stupid
you aren't an asshole! I think you're really brave for saying whats in your heard. Most of the time I don't have the courage. Thank you for being so honest
 
BitterlyAlive

BitterlyAlive

Tired of the pain.
Joined
Apr 8, 2020
Messages
1,364
you aren't an asshole! I think you're really brave for saying whats in your heard. Most of the time I don't have the courage. Thank you for being so honest
Thanks. The urge is still there but not as strong. It'll probably go away soon. Can't say I didn't pull the sn out and stare at it tho. Lmao

Edit: no...nope, it's stronger. Welp. Guess I'll see where tonight takes me
 
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