I'm scared, please help

  • Welcome to Sanctioned Suicide, a pro-choice forum for the discussion of mental illness, suicide, and the moral implications of the act itself. This is not a pro-suicide site. We do not encourage or aid suicide, and the information offered is for educational purposes only. Read our rules and FAQ for more information. We also offer a recovery subforum if you wish to get support.

    You can close this box by clicking the top right "X".

O

Oofeditup

Member
Jan 9, 2020
9
44
It's decided. Tomorrow (1-15-20) I will slurp up a savory sip of the fabled SN. I'm ready, I'm terrified beyond belief but I'm ready. I just want some people who understand to talk to before I don't have the option any more.
 
UpandDownPrincess

UpandDownPrincess

Specialist
Dec 31, 2019
385
748
We're here. Talk to us.

What's got you so scared?
 
  • Like
Reactions: Oofeditup
E

easywayout

Member
Jan 6, 2020
39
50
Farewell stranger. Consider reporting your experience for others.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Oofeditup
Charatoriel

Charatoriel

Set me free
Jan 13, 2020
44
56
Well as someone who is planning to opt out in a couple of hours I can tell you right now there's no reason to be afraid once you realize that there's just no points and may there be reasons of your own that you wish not to speak about,but just understand that everything's going to be okay cuz you don't have to worry anymore about the b******* that surrounds your very life, may it be pain physically, emotionally.

Understand that this is your right everyone has this right and I hope you go out very peacefully
 
Charatoriel

Charatoriel

Set me free
Jan 13, 2020
44
56
Damn, now you’ve got me thinking...
I have someone who is like a very devoted Satanist I'm pretty sure they would accept you with open arms, just got to try a little harder or go for ctb.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Oofeditup
GoodPersonEffed

GoodPersonEffed

I almost always edit my posts.
Jan 11, 2020
4,624
9,854
I'm scared it won't work. And that when I'd attempted in the past I was actually successful and I'm currently in hell and my punishment is not being able to die. It's a little out there I know but it's been my suspicion
I don't think it's out there. Definitely scary!
 
  • Like
Reactions: Oofeditup
Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
7,588
14,930
I don’t know if you saw this :)
 
O

Oofeditup

Member
Jan 9, 2020
9
44
I did. But appreciate you making sure thank you
 
O

Oofeditup

Member
Jan 9, 2020
9
44
It will work unless you're found. Sorry to hear you're leaving us. Wishing you a safe journey. We'll be here if you change your mind
Thank you <3
Well as someone who is planning to opt out in a couple of hours I can tell you right now there's no reason to be afraid once you realize that there's just no points and may there be reasons of your own that you wish not to speak about,but just understand that everything's going to be okay cuz you don't have to worry anymore about the b******* that surrounds your very life, may it be pain physically, emotionally.

Understand that this is your right everyone has this right and I hope you go out very peacefully
Thank you. It means a lot
 
Last edited:
Crushed_Innocence

Crushed_Innocence

Hungry Ghost
Oct 16, 2019
430
1,529
I can't speak to the method of SN, but I can speak to the fear - it is the ultimate illusion that is an inherent survival mechanism. Those of us who choose to CTB must find our own unique way to ignore, disable, overcome or move past the fear..... I personally hyper focus on the reason why I want to leave this life.... until the fear is tiny in comparison to the despair & pain of living.... so glad your here with us qhile you decide whats best for you
 
S

S1mpleme

Arcanist
Dec 27, 2019
520
571
It's decided. Tomorrow (1-15-20) I will slurp up a savory sip of the fabled SN. I'm ready, I'm terrified beyond belief but I'm ready. I just want some people who understand to talk to before I don't have the option any more.
I think you're not ready yet if scared. I'm yours if you want to, whatever you want to say I'd be glad to chat with you.
 
O

Oofeditup

Member
Jan 9, 2020
9
44
I think you're not ready yet if scared. I'm yours if you want to, whatever you want to say I'd be glad to chat with you.
I'm as ready as I'll ever be. Best do it now before I classically make my life worse. I am worried about how it will effect my family though. I have a a lot of young siblings and I'm not sure how they'd take it.
 
S

S1mpleme

Arcanist
Dec 27, 2019
520
571
I'm as ready as I'll ever be. Best do it now before I classically make my life worse. I am worried about how it will effect my family though. I have a a lot of young siblings and I'm not sure how they'd take it.
They will take it as everyone - with huge pain in their hearts. That's your family, what do you think they would feel?
 
randomz

randomz

Master
Nov 4, 2019
404
700
I also think that if your fear is so big, then you are not as ready as you should be for taking such an important decision. Don't you have at least a little time to think thingss over a little more?
 
GoodPersonEffed

GoodPersonEffed

I almost always edit my posts.
Jan 11, 2020
4,624
9,854
I'm as ready as I'll ever be. Best do it now before I classically make my life worse. I am worried about how it will effect my family though. I have a a lot of young siblings and I'm not sure how they'd take it.
Is there anything in your life that you believe is insurmountable?

How would you make it worse?

Aside from that, with regard to how your family and siblings will feel. If your parents are still married, there is a chance their marriage will not survive. They may blame one another as being the cause of your choice. When someone commits suicide, the natural response is to look for someone to blame, rather than seeing it as the choice and responsibility of the person whose action it was. You and your siblings have an order in the family, and that is a part of their identities as well as yours; when a sibling is lost, the order is thrown off as well as the sense of self, because being a sibling is part of the self. Suicide leaves a feeling like a gaping hole because it doesn't make sense like an organic or outside cause, especially because no one can know what is inside another person, so they are left with eternal questions. Some will blame themselves for not recognizing signs, for not loving you enough to fill what was missing, for not doing enough even though they had no way of knowing. It is likely that anyone who loves you will hurt so much that they will consider taking their own lives. One or more of your siblings will be far more likely to attempt suicide in the near or distant future. I don't say these things to try to shame you or to change your mind. I am responding to what you said with honesty and candor.
 
veren4h92l

veren4h92l

Member
Aug 15, 2019
47
46
Hi dear,

don't you be scared, want to take away all the scares from you.
And even if there was a you who ctb successfully somewhere in the past, it's not your fault for now.
 
purplemoon

purplemoon

I Have the Light Inside, Surrounded by Darkness
Sep 22, 2019
395
825
I understand, the survival instinct is extremely difficult to overcome but it is possible. I’ve overdosed in the past and I think the only mistake a person can make it if they don’t take enough to the point where they almost CTB but not completely and they have to start all over again.

My only fear is the possible permanent physical damage with any method...if that’s part of your fear it’s normal.

I personally absolutely look forward to leaving my body, I’m just worried about not being able to die and having physical issues.

So I’m not quite sure if you’re fearful of it failing or death itself or both?

Either way, that’s totally normal. Completely understandable.
 
ceasetobreathe03

ceasetobreathe03

And I cried for help so many times. I needed you.
Dec 20, 2019
2,019
2,886
Are you sure this is what you want? I understand that it's your choice, but do you not have any hope left?.. Do you need someone to talk to? I'm here if you need me so please pm me whenever you need to talk.
 
zherhk

zherhk

Veteran
Nov 25, 2019
129
224
Is there anything in your life that you believe is insurmountable?

How would you make it worse?

Aside from that, with regard to how your family and siblings will feel. If your parents are still married, there is a chance their marriage will not survive. They may blame one another as being the cause of your choice. When someone commits suicide, the natural response is to look for someone to blame, rather than seeing it as the choice and responsibility of the person whose action it was. You and your siblings have an order in the family, and that is a part of their identities as well as yours; when a sibling is lost, the order is thrown off as well as the sense of self, because being a sibling is part of the self. Suicide leaves a feeling like a gaping hole because it doesn't make sense like an organic or outside cause, especially because no one can know what is inside another person, so they are left with eternal questions. Some will blame themselves for not recognizing signs, for not loving you enough to fill what was missing, for not doing enough even though they had no way of knowing. It is likely that anyone who loves you will hurt so much that they will consider taking their own lives. One or more of your siblings will be far more likely to attempt suicide in the near or distant future. I don't say these things to try to shame you or to change your mind. I am responding to what you said with honesty and candor.
With all the things that could have been said you decided to inculcate feeling of guilt
 
L

LittleJem

Wizard
Jul 3, 2019
648
943
Is there anything in your life that you believe is insurmountable?

How would you make it worse?

Aside from that, with regard to how your family and siblings will feel. If your parents are still married, there is a chance their marriage will not survive. They may blame one another as being the cause of your choice. When someone commits suicide, the natural response is to look for someone to blame, rather than seeing it as the choice and responsibility of the person whose action it was. You and your siblings have an order in the family, and that is a part of their identities as well as yours; when a sibling is lost, the order is thrown off as well as the sense of self, because being a sibling is part of the self. Suicide leaves a feeling like a gaping hole because it doesn't make sense like an organic or outside cause, especially because no one can know what is inside another person, so they are left with eternal questions. Some will blame themselves for not recognizing signs, for not loving you enough to fill what was missing, for not doing enough even though they had no way of knowing. It is likely that anyone who loves you will hurt so much that they will consider taking their own lives. One or more of your siblings will be far more likely to attempt suicide in the near or distant future. I don't say these things to try to shame you or to change your mind. I am responding to what you said with honesty and candor.
Wouldn't it be better if suicide was an acceptable response to great pain, and people who love us would let us go, understanding we no longer want to suffer and we've suffered enough.

OP has attempted before. It's not an impulsive decision here.