I'm Not Sure How Much Longer I Can Hold On

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AtomicNewt

Bored.
Jun 5, 2019
52
186
33
I'm not sure how much longer, I can hold on I'm so emotionally, and physically drained. I don't how much longer I can go on before I just break, and end it all. It's getting harder to find reason to keep me going, I don't know what to do anymore
Completely feel for you :mmm: wish I could offer you some sage advice but my minds blank. I'm in exactly the same place, I mean I know I mental, but feel like I'm on the verge of completely breaking apart and become full on Mad. If that makes any sense?
 

AtomicNewt

Bored.
Jun 5, 2019
52
186
33
Have you planned how your gonna do it.
I need to plan it perfectly so when I feel I can’t go on any longer I can just do it and end it
Been trying that tricky one of how to make it look like an accident, I've been a lousy enough mother and daughter without adding that to it. Obviously getting drunk and going for a midnight swim would be best, especially as I'm very well known for swimming outside in all weather's and for "liking a drink". However drowning is my biggest phobia, bah. Still won't rule out completely losing it mentally and overcoming that though... Working on a second plan, but will require meticulous planning and my mind is so shot to pieces at the moment :/ but agree with you it needs to be in place otherwise it could be really nasty. Have you worked yours out?
 
Jun 2, 2019
98
376
Massachusetts, USA
Same, friend, same...Wish I could make things better for you, and for all of us, really...I agree with others about planning. Currently working out details and finishing up letters/e-mails when I'm not browsing/talking here or playing a game. Also, I've been cutting down on obligations/appts/therapy because I'd rather just do the bare minimum to appear okay while planning and just trying to enjoy my remaining time (have set a few goals for games to sort of keep me going). Unfortunately, I know that's not possible for everyone...keep us posted on how you're doing, maybe talking with people here can help you a bit. Wishing you all the best :)
 
May 25, 2019
144
164
UK
Hanging.

Where

  • bathroom (need to check if it can hold your weight) also mum just got settled in to this house. I hope she doesn’t feel like she needs to sell it.
  • Hotel (need to order a pull up bar and a rope. Need to call a taxi to hotel. Book hotel room. Book for like 2 days. Tell cleaners not to come in.)
When

  • maybe next month, I don’t know. I wanna die before I turn 20 in September. So July August?
Why

  • well... you don’t have to worry
How

  • blood stops going to my brain, my brain dies. I die. I’m at peace.
 
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memento_mori

Veteran
Mar 28, 2019
108
197
I'm not sure how much longer, I can hold on I'm so emotionally, and physically drained. I don't how much longer I can go on before I just break, and end it all. It's getting harder to find reason to keep me going, I don't know what to do anymore
I've been like this for around 7 months or so now, it's a miracle Im still alive. it's like I'm in my personal little hell. I live every week like it's my last
 
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not-2-b-the-answer

Elementalist
Mar 23, 2018
759
2,117
I'm not sure how much longer, I can hold on I'm so emotionally, and physically drained. I don't how much longer I can go on before I just break, and end it all. It's getting harder to find reason to keep me going, I don't know what to do anymore
I feel the same … I'm barely holding it together. ;-; Work is horrible and even when I'm not at work, Life isn't good either. :angry:
Sometimes when I'm in my car driving home from work … I just scream out loud. (With the windows closed) ;-;
 

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