- Aug 23, 2020
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To not exist at all. To never have existed.
My desire to ctb all come from neurodevelopmental problems which create huge life-fucking difficulties getting anything done or enjoying life, massive stress and have caused severe depression and anxiety.
Getting to live life over again would make very little difference because however insight I have into my situation & difficulties I can’t change them.
If I could I would chose either not to be conceived at all or to be conceived & born with excellent working memory, executive functions and fast processing speed.
So to not exist and only to exist if I can be a better, upgraded version of me.