I would like some lil' help

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Aquiles Brinco

Aquiles Brinco

May 21, 2020
Hey everybody!

I'm new to this forum (just logged in). I've been a lurker for a while now, and decided I would make an account yesterday. Apologies if I do something wrong regarding post rules, I have read the FAQ and rules but I'm still a bit new to this. No excuses, just putting it out there. Please correct me if I'm doing it wrong alright.

The reasons I made this account are pretty selfish I must admit. I'm not so keen on messaging others for aid or comfort, and the idea of legal repercussions arising from those interactions scares me a little. I made this account to look for some advice on methods from you guys, and I hope you understand why I'm not helping as much even if you outright disagree with it.

I've gotten cold headed with daydreams about me catching the flight. Sometimes it does trigger some emotion, but the more stable I have gotten over some periods of time gave me less jittery willingfulness to do it: it somehow increases my resolve to exit through the back door. Even though I'm not fully decided and got no expertise at all on practice level, I would like to get some sense of comfort knowing I'm not only able to go through with it, but that I can do it properly and safely.

My method of choice is partial hanging. I have read NoLifeNoPain's guide but other than that I haven't met luck with other resources. I have attempted to close my carotid arteries with my hand on my neck and also with some rope pressure to practice hitting the lucky spot before practicing hanging trials and positions. So far I've failed to hit it, and it seems a bit hard to pass out just from my gradual attempts after the regular 10 seconds or so.

I can't take much time of day to train daily on the method because I don't live alone on my house: my siblings and parents live with me, and because of corona don't leave the house at all. They have noticed a tad of my emotions but that's alright because I've made them comfortable (or atleast I like to take credit for it) around my mood and they don't actively engage with the sadness anymore. It's something expected and coloquial at this point. Hopefully they don't ask questions in the future, just like they aren't doing right now.

I, suprisigly, cant get an entire hour, maybe even two, to myself on the house before they notice I haven't arrived for dinner or a mid-day snack. Which is sweet, but not particulary useful to me right now besides learning more about partial hanging and failed attempts. That's why I would loooove some experts' opinion on my specific case. Sorry in advance if I dont bring anything good to the table in return.

When it comes to materials, I'm your guy. I got some thin (but strong) jumping rope, a variety of belts, a big set of ties (thanks dad), somewhat strong bed coverings I could craft and mold into rope, and a set of stairs that can hold my entire weight (duh) when I step on them. Thing is, I'm not exactly sure if that translates to the increased pressure the rope would excert as a hook, in contrast to the slightly bigger surface area of both my feet. Sadly, I have gained weight (gotten lazy in light of a current world pandemic), but I suspect it won't be that much big of a deal since I can do some weeks worth of jumping rope and better diet to lose some of that COVID fatties. Also, I'm 5 foot 6 (closer to the floor should be an advantage ngl), but I hope it doesn't take much toll on the difficulty of this little proyect.

Please help me out if you like. I would be quite grateful if you did, and I understand if you don't want to either. I hope it isn't against post rules, but if it is, then whoops. If it isn't, great! But if it is, then I would just like to point out that for me it seems a bit contradictory (imo) to be pro-choice but negate the sharing of any useful advice to avoid suffering while attempting. But I don't make the rules in either case.

Hope you are having a not-so-bad day/night.
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